


Outlander Options - Claire goes back in less that a year after Culloden

by marieinlex



Series: Outlander - Claire comes back early [1]
Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Childbirth, Children, F/M, Family, Life - Freeform, Love, Normal Life, Other, Prison, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 164,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marieinlex/pseuds/marieinlex
Summary: What might have happened if Claire went back in time before Brianna had been born?  Here is my idea...
Relationships: Brianna Randall Fraser MacKenzie/Roger MacKenzie Wakefield, Claire Beauchamp/Brianna Randall Fraser MacKenzie, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Jenny Fraser/Ian Murray, young Ian Murry/Jamie Fraser/ Claire Fraser
Series: Outlander - Claire comes back early [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731061
Comments: 675
Kudos: 432





	1. Claire comes back to 1948 and prepares to go back to her family.

**Author's Note:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander

**Chapter 1**

"Oof" Claire landed flat on her back.

In tears.

In pain.

Alone.

She was still a moment, staring at the back of her eyelids. Slowly she sat up, and promptly vomited. Claire wiped her mouth and closed her eyes as the dizziness overwhelmed her and she lay back down.

Somewhat later Claire stood up, wiping her mouth and looked around...definitely not where she came from, no Jamie, no sounds of war starting. She started walking down the hill and saw the road. An ugly blacktop that covered the ground. She made it out the road, picked her direction and started walking.

And crying.

_Get it together Beauchamp. You're doing this for the baby. Focus on having a child._

After what felt like miles and many reminders of why she was here instead of tending to the wounded at Culloden Moor she hears an automobile motor and freezes.

Slowly she turns and looks at the car, the driver of which stops, gets out and stares at her.

"What year is it?" Claire asks the driver.

"What?" He turns his head sideways and looks at her.

"What year is it?" Claire asks as loud as her painful head allows.

"1948. Are you okay?"

Claire sits on the road and starts crying. Thick heavy sobs that tug at the little energy she had left. Jamie is gone from her. She knew it of course by the road, but a confirmation is so harsh.

The driver managed to get her up and in the car. When his question of where he could take her went unanswered, he drove her to the hospital. Claire managed to thank him and got out of the car by herself. She thought about the tiny bit of Jamie and herself growing inside her and went into the hospital to get checked out.

"You're about 2 months pregnant." The doctor is telling her. "Did you know?"

Claire sighed with relief, the baby made it through the stones, thank God.

The Doctor was still talking. "How can I reach your husband?" She stares at him, then he nodded at the ring on her left hand. Claire thought that only Mrs. Graham would understand and gave the information to reach her at the manse. Nurse Drever leaves to contact Mrs. Graham.

"I want to keep you for a day or two." The Doctor is looking at her so Claire nods. That works out actually she needs time to get a plan together. This whole time she is thinking about life with Frank in this time and she doesn't want to be here. Her family is at Lallybroch- Jenny, Ian, their children. _Our family_ she thinks as she put a hand to her middle. _I'm going back. We're going back, I just have to get the details together._ She smiled at the empty doorway after the Doctor left. She'd been advised to rest but she saw the paper and pen beside the bed and started getting a plan together.

-An hour later-

"Ye have a visitor." Nurse Drever led someone through the hospital room door. Claire saw Mrs. Graham smile at her.

"Ye need to stay put." The nurse got to her bed just as Claire was getting one foot to the floor.

"Okay, okay." Claire put her foot back under the blanket just as Mrs. Graham settled in the only chair. Nurse Drever smiled and left the room.

"Thank goodness you got the phone call from the doctor, I was worried the Reverend would get it and call Frank."

At this Mrs. Graham looked at the floor and seemed confused, "I'm sorry dear, the Reverend did get the call. Ye have but to wait a day and a half before your husband gets here."

Claire sat up straighter in the bed, "That's fine, let me tell you what happened and I will tell you my plan."

Mrs. Graham was an attentive audience and asked all the right questions while Claire told the story of what happened. How she fell through the stones, her adventures, and especially Jamie.

"Oh Claire, what are ye going to do?"

"Mrs. Graham,-"

"O dear, call me Violet."

"Thank you, that's such a nice name, Violet." Claire sighs and smiles looking directly at her, "I'm going back." Claire proceeds to tell Violet the plan she has so far.

Two hours later Mrs. Violet Graham left the hospital with a new to-do list smiling to herself at the energy of young people.

**-1 week later-**

"I can't believe you really want a divorce. I thought when things settled down you would come back to me." Frank didn't know what he felt...anger...relief?

Claire sat down and sighed, "Frank, whether you believe me or not about traveling through the stones I am pregnant and I do love another man. You deserve the freedom to find someone who loves you like I used too." Claire needed the divorce, scandal or not.

"But don't anymore?" Frank looked very angry.

"A part of me will always love you, just not like I used too and not like you deserve. All I ask is to have whatever money is left from Uncle Lamb."

Frank opened his wallet and tossed money at her. "Take what you want, but give me another chance. We have a marriage, we had a life together, and you are pregnant. Can you throw it out so simply?" He was pacing now.

"You don't understand, I lived with another man as husband and wife for 3 years Frank. I love him." It sounded cruel, but Claire had to make him see they were no longer suitable.

Frank stormed out yelling "Fine, break up our family!"

Claire was sorry for hurting him, but firmly believed it was in his best interest to get divorced. The scandal would die down, then Frank would have his freedom. Freedom to forget her and move on to someone else who would be better for him. Claire thought about the days before she went through the stones and how he was a good husband. He should have the chance to give that to someone who loved him.

After another week Frank did file for divorce. It took a lot of talking, a lot of Claire tapping down her nature to heal and protect him from physical harm. She had loved him and she still cared for him and respected Frank.

Two weeks later Claire is having their weekly tea with Mrs. Graham while the Reverend is out.

"I got the papers this morning, you are having tea with a woman who will be divorced soon." Claire smiles.

"I know dear, it was actually in the local paper. 'Mr. Frank Randall divorces the pregnant fairy woman' _psh_ " Mrs. Graham shook her head at the title.

"I wish I could lose that name, fairy woman. I tried to leave the hotel but no one will rent to the fairy woman." Claire looks down, angry and embarrassed.

Roger runs into the kitchen and asks for a cookie which Claire gives him. "He is so sweet."

"Aye, when he wants something." Violet ruffles his hair and shoos him out of the kitchen.

"Will you reconsider moving in here?" As Claire starts to shake her head Violet rushes on, "Frank left again 3 days ago and is not planning to return anytime soon."

"The hotel is fine, really, it suits me." Claire reassured the older woman. "It's a block from the grocery store and 2 blocks from the hospital. I did get the job so I will be a part time nurse at the hospital and the walk does me good." Never mind that living in a hotel seems a little... _unsavory_. Claire put her cup down and looked at the clock.

"Speaking of which I need to go, I have a doctor's appointment."

"Please let me drive you."

Claire looked back at the clock then smiled at Violet and nodded. "Thank you, that would be helpful."

**-That same day at the appointment-**

"TWINS?!"

"Mrs. Randall please lower your voice. I suspect twins, this is why I requested ye bring your husband." The doctor was looking at her from across the desk like she was a child.

"It's Beauchamp thank you, I am getting divorced in case you didn't see today's paper."

"Yes, well…" The doctor mutters something then really looks at her, "Yes, Mrs. Beauchamp I strongly suspect twins. Ye are almost 3 months pregnant, we will need another month to be sure." He paused to let that sink in.

"I understand ye are working at the hospital?"

"Part time, yes" Claire's brain is starting to understand the word twins. Two of Jamie's babies instead of one. She smiles and hopes she really does have twins.

"I want ye to plan to stop work at 7 months. Everything looks perfectly fine but if I'm right and ye do have twins its a higher risk. Will ye stop working in four months?"

Thank you Uncle Lamb she thought, and not for the first time. "Yes, that won't be a problem. What about the miscarriage I had, will that make this birth dangerous?"

"No Mrs. Ran-Beauchamp, as long as you continue to take the supplements I prescribed." He shuffles his papers and stand up so she stands up and thanks him.

Claire walks slowly back to her hotel, stopping in the shops where she has become a regular. In the fabric and dress shop the clerk tells her of a new high quality wool they received and Claire purchased 32 yards. At the antique shop she was able to secure more 200 year old coins. She smiled to herself as the hotel came into view. She had time. She would be ready the next time she went through the stones. Claire got into her room and laid her bags on the table next to the sewing machine. She might have two babies. She smiled as she lay on the bed for a nap full of pleasant dreaming.

**___**

Claire finished reading the letter from Frank and put it down. A fresh start?! She would never go to Boston. She really shouldn't travel now anyway as she was 3 months pregnant and still had morning sickness that lasted till the afternoon. She couldn't imagine trying to get on a plane or even a boat as sick as she was now.

She knew what she was going to do, and leaving Scotland had no part in her plans. Claire wrote a nice letter back to Frank thanking him for being so nice but she hadn't changed her mind.

Claire was going to work for a while. Halloween was in about 5 months and that mean Samhain. It would be easier to go through the stones. She was going back. This time period just wasn't home. Lallybroch was her home, and Jenny and Ian were her family. Jamie's child -possibly children she corrected herself- would be raised in that time with their family. Claire had already bought many yards of wool and cotton, hundreds of seeds, and enough eighteen century money Jenny and Ian would be sure to take her in to live at Lallybroch. She had multiple books on order. Claire knew books were dangerous, the difference in how they looked would be obvious to anyone who saw them. She certainly didn't want to risk another witch trial, but the knowledge would be so helpful she was willing to take them.

Nurse Drever was ordering smallpox and DTP vaccines for her. Claire had told the other nurse she planned a trip to the remote Highlands and Claire's nurse status allowed her to administer these routine inoculations.

Claire had already amassed a leather satchel full of penicillin and aspirin. The other three would carry the vaccines, the books and money, the fabric, and food for the trip.

___

Four months passed quickly and quietly. Claire found out she did was pregnant with twins! She was ecstatic at the idea of two of Jamie's babies instead of one. Frank found out about her having twins and mailed her a nice card and a large check which she instantly thought to send back but reconsidered. She didn't need the money but thought it might help Frank to think he helped her. Claire wrote him a nice long thank you note and told him about working and seeing Violet. She told him his money would go toward clothes for the babies and thanked him. Claire bought much more material than originally planned. 

The divorce came through which made Claire happy and sad at the same time. Jamie would be gone and she'd pushed Frank away. Claire didn't regret it but there was a loneliness that work couldn't fill.

Claire continued to work part time at the hospital and was very friendly with the other nurses and patients but kept to herself. She shopped often looking for those specific items she could take back with her. Claire sewed almost daily, always grateful for the used sewing machine she had purchased. She also learned to knit and managed a few small pairs of booties and a couple pairs of socks. Claire and Mrs. Graham had a weekly tea, but Claire tried to avoid the Reverend as Claire knew he didn't approve of her.

Claire got up and finished getting ready. Violet was picking her up today and taking a few pictures of her. She wanted to remember this time of waiting and planning and had already filled 2 journals. Should she bring a pen...hmm? Maybe.

Claire got up and like most days thought about Jamie, then food. She looked at the remainder of the cake she had brought home from the hospital yesterday. She'd been there such a short time but her co-workers were so nice to her giving her a small good luck and goodbye party.

_Okay, only 1 piece._

Three pieces of cake and two glasses of milk later she settles down to sew more baby clothes and the hours run away from her.

Violet picks her up for their weekly tea date.

"What will you miss?" Violet is driving Claire back to the manse.

"Hot showers, flush toilets, restaurants" Claire is readjusting herself to try to get comfortable in the vehicle.

"Are you getting things done that you need to, or do you need help?"

Claire looked over at her and felt blessed to have for a friend for about the hundredth time. "I'm doing okay. If I get any bigger I think I will burst." She pats her 7 month bulge that is 2 babies.

Violet unlocked the door of the manse and turned on the light. Claire followed her.

"Surprise!"

"Jesus H-oops, sorry" Claire blushed as she looked around the room at the group of women from infants to elderly and looked at Violet.

"These are my sister druids." She explained. Claire had given permission for Violet to share most everything with these women about her story but she had never met anyone.

One woman came forward and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sarah, and we are very happy to celebrate with ye. Alice was in England last year," She nodded to another woman who smiled at her. " and went to a baby shower so we thought to have one."

Alice took up the story. "Yours is special though, we have gifts for you but only things that would be around 200 years ago."

Claire looked around and saw the food, and gifts, and happy women.

"Thank you, I appreciate this so-" But had to stop because of the tears forming in her eyes . Damn hormones!

"Dinna fash." Alice smiled and patted her on the back. Claire was so used to being around nurses regular women were a novel and happy experience.

The party was fun and the other women were so kind. Claire cursed her hormones often because of tears welling up.

Claire said her goodbye to Alice and got hugged. She looked at Violet, "Everyone was so nice and the gifts are amazing." She held up a knitted blanket that was as tall as she was, "How long does it take to make something like this?"

Violet just smiled," It's better if you don't know dear."

Violet and little Roger helped her load the gifts into the car and then into her hotel room.

"Would you please get stamps, I don't have any left." Claire asked Violet as the older woman was looking around her hotel room in awe. She looked at the money Claire was trying to hand her and instead reached for her bag and rummaged in it.

"How many do ye need?"

"Enough for all those thank you cards I need to write." Claire smiled thinking of those kind women.

"Will ye really be able to take all these things?" Violet handed her the stamps and looked around.

"I think so," Claire hesitated looking at Roger

"It's okay dear, he is in his own little world." Violet motioned to Roger playing with his cars.

"I think it will be fine." Claire looked around the room also. "I made an extra leather bag to put everything in. After I go through I will stash the bags and walk to Inverness to buy a mule. The mule will carry everything."

Violet nodded, handing her the stamps.

The last few weeks pass quietly and quickly. Claire got thank you cards made and at the following week's tea gave them to Mrs. Graham with the stamps as Claire didn't have addresses. Claire has some more pictures printed and started packing her bags. Claire was seeing her doctor every week to be sure everything is fine. She also gets a lot of the supplement pills as it might help other women who had the same issue she did with Faith. She thought about anything else from this century that might benefit her children and starts accumulating paper, motion sickness pills (just in case), a few primary books, etc. 

Claire spends most of her time sewing, and working on her knitting. She borrowed books from the hospital library to read and Claire returned them. The leather bags get packed and unpacked several times trying to find the best way to make sure nothing breaks and as it happened another bag was needed bringing her total to six. Claire is still shopping, picking up eighteenth century money and small pieces of plain silver that could be exchanged for money. Frank sends her all of her personal things which surprisingly fit in 2 medium boxes. She decides to take all the jewelry and asks Violet to keep a few small sentimental things.

Claire called Mrs Graham late the night before the day she is to travel back trough the stones to confirm the early time for pickup. That night Claire could hardly sleep, tomorrow she was going home! Finally, her 5 am alarm goes off and Claire gets up and gets ready. She takes a nice long shower to enjoy it for what was likely her last. She puts on one of the dresses she made for herself and eats a pastry she'd bought for her last 1948 breakfast.

"I'm so sorry dear," Violet pulls up as the sun is just peeking out and jumps out of the car. "Wee Roger was having a meltdown-"

Clair cuts her off, "It's fine, really." Claire smiles at the woman who was her friend. "Please help me load up these bags then I have to check out."


	2. Chapter 2 - Stones... Inverness... Claire goes home!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire gets through the stones and surprises await.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander.

Mrs. Graham drove Claire to Craigh a Dun with wee Roger in the back playing with his cars. A faint "Zoom, zoom" could be heard the whole way and Claire smiled thinking that she would miss the young boy. When they arrived Claire thought she would she would've ran up the hill but instead she sat in the car looking up the hill and dreading the trip through.

Claire is looking up the hill to the stones. "I wish I had a jar of peanut butter.."

Roger reaches over the seat from the back and gives her a jar to her astonishment. "Where did you get this?"

"From home. I heard ye say we were going on a trip" He tells Claire in a very matter of fact tone and goes back to playing with his cars.

Claire looks at Violet who is looking at Roger.

"Thank you Roger, that was very thoughtful of you." Claire smiles at Roger then looks back to Violet but the older woman shakes her head and smiles.

Several minutes pass before they situate themselves to get out. Claire is standing with both arms wrapped around her babies and says another prayer begging God to let them make it through.

"Roger, you stay here and we will be back." Violet says to him from the car window.

It takes 2 trips but they manage to get all 6 of the leather bags to the center of the circle. The pounding is so loud Claire has to come back down to speak to Violet.

"Can you help me to wrap this around me, around the babies?" Claire holds up a length of wool. It would be early winter there also, but she wanted to make sure she had enough to stay warm, and a few layers around her babies might be extra protection. Claire looks to the car where Roger is looking at her. "He's such a sweet boy."

"Mmm hmm." Violet made that noise in her throat that all Scots know how to make. "When he's not covered in dirt." She finished wrapping up Claire, snug and tight.

Claire looked at Violet with tears in her eyes. The woman had helped her so much. "Nope, no teary goodbyes dear. Just take care of yourself and those bairns." The two hugged each other lightly, Claire's large belly in the middle. Claire put on her cloak she had made and felt huge.

A second car became visible, turning off the main highway coming to park next to Violet's car.

"That will be the Reverend, coming to stop you." Violet looked at Claire and smiled. "Go!, Go dear, I will keep him busy as long as possible."

Claire put her hand on Violet's shoulder briefly. They made eye contact, and Claire tried to put all her thanks in that look. Only Jamie and his family had cared for her like Violet had cared for her these past months. Then she turned and with one arm around her large baby bulge and the other hold up her dress and cloak and went up the hill.

Claire got to the top of the hill and the babies in her womb did flip flops on her liver again. She had come several times in the past month to be sure the babies had a reaction. There was no question about them being sensitive to the stones and therefore it was likely they would be able to travel. They both showed a marked reaction that got worse as she got closer.

Claire got her arms through the handles of all 6 bags and looked down the hill one last time. The Reverend was coming toward her and so was Roger. Why was the child yelling her name?

Claire turned to the middle stone and reached out her heavy arm laden with bags. She took a deep breath and stepped through focusing on Jenny and her family.

Through the swirling and the colorful images she is trying to say out loud "Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie. Maggie…" Claire is just repeating the names of her in-laws and their children. After she was almost sure her head would explode Claire landed on her back again, thankfully but she was unconscious for several hours.

Darkness fell and all the creature noises that go with it started up and Claire finally stirred. She sat up and clutched her belly, feeling movement and she thanked God. Then she vomited. Twice. Claire managed to rouse herself and dragged her bags down the hill into thick brush. She laid out her blankets, got some water to wash out her mouth and promptly fell asleep in the abandoned cabin full of memories.

Claire awakens with someone shaking her and calling her name. She thought she had fallen asleep at work until she opened her eyes to see Roger.

"Roger, what is going on?" Claire looked around and remembered she went back in time. "Roger! what are you doing here?"

"Miss Claire me Da was calling for ye so I went after ye, but I don't know where he is anymore." Roger looked like he was about to cry and Claire sat up and took him into her arms.

He must have traveled through the stones to me. Claire looks him over to be sure he didn't obtain any injuries, but he seemed fine.

"When did you get here?"

Roger looked at her oddly, "I was on that hill asleep, I just woke up."

Claire looked up to the stones. "Roger, we are going to send you back, to your Da."

Claire and Roger stood up and started up the hill saying nothing. So Claire starting telling him that a trip through the stones changes things, and it changed where he was so his Da wasn't here anymore.

Claire's head still hurt and the sound of the stones didn't help. "Roger, just think about your Da and Mrs. Graham very much. They are probably still waiting for you." Claire didn't feel good about sending him through alone but what choice did she have? She wasn't sure she would make it through again. Plus the Reverend would keep her there.

Roger got to the big stone, and Claire nodded toward it smiling at him. Roger just stood there. "Put your hand on it and just start walking dear." Roger looked at Claire very oddly with those directions but he did it and promptly hit his head on the stones.

Claire was perplexed.

"Roger, do you hear the sounds that come from the stones?"

He looked at her even more oddly now, "What sounds?"

Claire just stared. Why could he come through after her but not on his own? She would have to keep him with her, that was the only possible solution. She wouldn't, couldn't go back through.

Claire wrote a note about what happened to Roger and dug a little bit under a rock in the stones. She put dates on it and hoped Violet and the Reverend would get the note so they wouldn't worry. She told them she would be back to the stones in a day or two and would try again.

"Well Roger, you will have to stay with me for a few days, and then we will try again." Tears started to well up and Claire took his hand, "You and I are on an adventure! We are in the past, and you need to observe everything you can okay?"

Roger wiped the tears that had fallen and nodded.

Claire hid her bags a little better but picked up the one with food and blankets. Claire adjusted Rogers clothing a bit so it would pass. Must children in this time go unnoticed so she didn't do much.

They walked for the rest of the day and sang and told stories. Roger forgot his sadness for the most part. When Inverness was in sight Claire decided to make camp and enter the town first thing in the morning.

She made a small fire and her and Roger were eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "Roger, what do you think about calling me Mother?"

"That's fine." He continued eating.

She smiled at his easy acceptance,"It's only because if people don't think I'm your Mother they will wonder why we are traveling together and I don't want to

have to answer questions."

"That's fine. No one will believe we came through a rock. I understand. No one believed you and they called you a fairy." He smiled at her, wiped his hands on his pants, kissed her cheek and lay down.

She finished her sandwich, rinsed out her mouth and lay down next to him and pulled up their blankets.

**In Inverness**

The next morning they made it into Inverness early. She bought fruit and meat pies for her and Roger then made her way to the stables to inquire about a mule. Roger had a tight hold on her hand but was wide eyed to take everything in.

They were at the stables waiting in line. The gentleman finished his inquiry of a missing horse and the next man stepped up to ask about what horses were for sale. That voice...so familiar. Claire peeks around the person in front of her and Roger. He had one wooden leg! That was Ian! She got a little dizzy with her excitement then tried to calm herself. Claire thought about the wisdom of calling out, but anxiously waited for him to finish his business then followed him out into the morning light still with Roger tightly by her side.

"Ian" Claire calls after him and follows him a bit and called his name again.

He turned around looking in the crowd and finally spotted her, "Claire?" He said her name slowly and his eyes were wide with surprise.

"Yes," Claire was nodding briskly,"It's me." She smiled widely at seeing him.

Ian just stood there looking at her then shook his head laughing and came in for a hug.

"Let me look at you lass," He pulled back and saw her and Roger.

"Wow, when are you due?"

"In 4 weeks." Claire was still smiling at her good fortune.

"And who's the lad?" Ian was looking at Roger with a smile but the boy was cowering behind Claire.

"His name is Roger and he is with me for a time." She was still smiling hoping he didn't ask too many questions.

Ian leaned in and spoke quietly, "Did he come through the stones with you lass?"

Claire stared at him astonished, "Wh-what?"

"Jamie told Jenny and me, oh Jamie, we have to get you to the inn." Ian moved to take her hand but Claire went white and started to fall back.

***********Jamie's point of view

A red haired, shabbily dressed gentleman was standing off to the side. Most people were shabby so he blended in just fine. Jamie was in hiding, and was supposed to stay at the Inn. It was Monday though, and there were no red coats in Inverness to be seen.

Ian came out of the stable and there was an image of Claire following him out.

 _You haunt me even away from home Sassenach_ , he thought to himself. She was very much with child and with a lad, _a new one my dear_. Then he saw her speak and he stood up straight.

Ian turned around and spoke to her. IAN SPOKE TO HER! Maybe it wasn't really Claire, just a woman who looked like her. Jamie walked down a bit as they talked to get closer. He saw Ian hug her and called her Claire! _Is this a cruel joke?_ The shock was growing but he saw her grow white and she wavered, it looked like she was going to faint. Jamie ran forward and swept her in his arms

"Is ..Jamie.. Alive? Claire whispered.

"Yes mo nighean donn, mo maise," Jamie had picked her up and answered her whispered question right before she fainted.

Ian picked up wee Roger and together they went swiftly to the Inn where they were staying in a small shed outside.

"How is she here?" Jamie looked at Ian who still looked shocked.

"I can't believe you think I know!" Ian was shaking his head but started talking to the lad.

Jamie lay her down in one of the two small beds and took a wet cloth to her forehead. He kept looking at her, every bit he could see to assure himself this was his wife. He had one hand in hers. "Claire, Claire…" He kept repeating her name slowly and finally she came to.

"Jamie" He smiled as the first thing she said, before sitting up, before opening her eyes, was his name.

She sat up and looked around with surprise, then with the memories flooding her brain about where she was, then looked at him sharply. "How are you alive?"

"I'm not why you are here?" he smiled at her. She was so beautiful, and so heavy with his child. It looked like it would be very big and he grew concerned.

"Well, yes, no- I didn't know you were alive. I came back to raise your children at home, at Lallybroch." Claire was looking at him like he was a ghost, she kept touching him, his neck, his shoulder, his hands. _Jamie was alive!_

Ian had made fast friends with Roger and he offered to take him outside.

"Sure, he is very curious- wait" Claire reached in her pocket and pulled out a handful of coins which had Ian and Jamie looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"I brought a bunch of bags with me and I was going to get a mule to carry everything to Lallybroch. I thought I might have enough to convince you and Jenny to take me in."

Ian looked at the many coins in her hand, "That's very nice lass, but ye don't need to bring us coins to take ye in, ye are family., ye and your Roger lad"

Claire looked at Ian and blinked back her tears. "Uh, will you please see about getting Roger a proper coat?"

Roger perked up for the first time at this,"Oh, yes please sir, Mama got rid of my coat because she said it was too modern. I have been walking with blankets."

Ian took a few coins, then Claire dumped all of them in his hand. He looked at her sharply when Roger called her Mama.

"I told him to call me that, I thought it would be easier." She looked back at Ian and hoped he understood

"And candy? Is there candy here?" Roger asked hopefully.

"Yes, there is candy here, and 1 piece." Roger smiled at Claire and he ducked out the door with Ian.

*****************Back to Claire

Claire settled herself and looked into Jamie's eyes.

"How are you alive?" Claire asked Jamie.

Jamie shook his head a little trying to clear it. "I tried to die. After you left I went to Culloden and fought, planning to die." He told her the story of living for 2 days on that battlefield lodged under Black Jack Randell, then a kinsman found him but they were discovered by the red coats. Jamie was then supposed to be shot, but was spared and sent home to die because of John Gray. Jenny wouldn't allow him to die in peace so here he was, alive and a wanted man all over again.

"John Grey?" Claire asked. The name was sounded familiar but she couldn't place it and Jamie was telling her the story. Claire laughed remembering it.

"Now you, you tell me how you are here today." Jamie looked at Claire and waited. He thought she would have the bairn in her time, to be safe.

Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened. Claire blinked, swallowed and started, "I went back, like I said I would," She added. Was he mad at her? "It was hard, being alone. I divorced Frank, and lived by myself."

"Divorced?"Jamie asked, surprised.

"I couldn't, I just couldn't go back to him. I'm sorry, but I didn't go back to him. I worked at a hospital until a week ago, then I came back. I knew I would come back to this time the same day I got there, I just needed a plan, so I got my plan together and told one person who I knew would help me, and she did. I went to my doctor appointments every two weeks then every week. I worked in the hospital as my nursing credentials only needed updating. I sewed clothing for myself and the babies. When the time was right I came through the stones. My plan was to get a mule to carry the bags I brought with me to Lallybroch and hope Jenny and Ian would take me in so our babies would be raised at home."

Jamie had kept mostly quiet during her story as she had for him. But then he said,"And the wee lad,the other baby?"He smiled at her.

"Wh-what? Oh, Roger, he is the nephew of the Reverend my friend Violet worked for. She drove me to the stones, but the Reverend showed up to stop me, for Frank's sake." She explained when he raised his eyebrows.

"He was running up the hill calling my name when I went through. Roger was running up the hill with him calling my name also and Roger ended up coming through the stones but the Reverend did not. I tried to send him back but he can't hear them anymore. I didn't try to take him." She looked down feeling like a coward. "It is getting harder each time I go through. I was afraid to take him back and get so sick I couldn't come back to this time."

Jamie took her hand and put his hand under her chin, "Claire, you did the best you could. You have enough courage for 3 women." He smiled and kissed her lightly, but slowly on the lips. "Tell me about the doctor visits, do they make a bairn bigger?" He was holding Clair's hands and looking at the beautiful swell of his child.

"Bairns." Claire corrected "And no, it doesn't make them bigger.

"What?" Jamie was sure he didn't hear right. He knew she had referred to bairns in the multiple, but he thought she meant Roger.

"Babies. I am going to have twins." Claire was looking at him in the way all women look when they have that blessed secret of a child.

"Oh, mo cridhe" Jamie got to his knees in front of her and put his arms around her big waist and kissed her, talking to the babies in the gaelic. Claire tried to blink the tears back but they fell and Jamie noticed and stood up. "My wife comes back to me and brings me not one but 2 babies, why are you the one crying lass?"

"Because I am so happy you are alive!" She hugged him and it was awkward because of the swell of her middle but they muddled through.

After another hour of talking and making plans Ian and Roger came back.

"Look at my new coat" Roger turned this way and that to model the coat. "I like this one better than my old coat." He smiled at them showing bright red lips and red tinted candy coated teeth.

After a half hour of Jamie and Ian talking and making plans for their return to Lallybroch Claire decided to sit at their makeshift table and took out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from the bag she had with her. Roger wandered over and Claire gave him one. She turned to offer a sanwich to Ian and Jamie and found them staring at her with their eyes wide.

"It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Do you want one?" She held out a waxed paper wrapped sandwich to each man. They took them with obvious reserve.

Jamie was the first to bite into it and Ian waited for any adverse effects. "Dinna fash, this is good" Jamie took another bite

"We thought you were not a cook, Sister Claire, this is very good" Ian smiled at her and took another bite. Roger giggled.

"What?" Jamie ruffled the boy's head of dark curls. He could easily pass for Claire's son.

"You don't cook it. You buy the stuff and make it." Roger smiled at Jamie

"Hmm, well, it's good all the same." Jamie smiled back at Roger.

Sleeping arrangements were made. Claire and Roger would sleep in Jamie's bed and he would take Claire's blanket roll from her pack and sleep on the floor. As much as he wanted to hold her in his arms, the room was small and Ian's bed was inches away. He could wait, he'd thought to never hold her again but now she was here.

"I hate to make you sleep on the floor." Claire looked at the small bed and realized Jamie was too tall for it.

"My wife is not sleeping on the floor while I have the bed. Plus the lad would be more comfortable with you." Jamie turned and started arranging his blankets.

"I could just get another room." Ian was looking at the coins and picking up a few.

"It's fine, we will stay here together. I'm a wanted man, if Claire or the lad needs something only you can get it here Ian." Ian nodded at Jamie

They spent the night that way: Ian slept peacefully through the night, Claire slept fitfully, tossing and turning unable to stay comfortable, Roger grew impatient with her movements and went to sleep with Jamie, and Jamie hardly slept at all, still afraid if he closed his eyes she would disappear.

When Claire woke Ian and Roger were gone.

"Roger is safe, he is with Ian procuring us more animals and a wagon if one is to be found." Jamie sat next to her on the bed.

They held hands and just looked at each other. Claire began to get warm feeling that only Jamie gave her.

"Jamie, " she paused and put her hands over her middle, "We really shouldn't because of the-"

"I know Sassenach, its okay. I am happy now just to look at my wife." She smiled at his words and tried to lean up to kiss him.

"Hold on, I will come to you." Jamie moved to her side and kissed her. A soft, sweet kiss that wrapped itself around her heart.

"You might get dressed, they will be back soon." Jamie didn't want to let go of her, but he had to be smart.

Claire saw the fresh water in the basin, and got up to wash and dress.

They left that day. Because of the money Claire brought two strong oxen were purchased and two horses instead of one and a wagon. Since they had the wagon Claire insisted on sugar and other household staples they were likely low on at Lallybroch. Claire also picked up a few small items she thought Jenny would appreciate.

Claire, Roger, Ian and Jamie left Inverness in the early afternoon. Two large oxen pulled a smart looking wagon and a horse was tied behind the wagon. Ian and Claire were sitting in front of the wagon while Jamie and Roger were riding on the second horse. Roger looked like he was having the time of his life. Jamie kept looking to the wagon to check that Claire was still there. Every time he looked, Claire was staring at him.

Claire was watching Jamie. He was thin, like Ian was, likely from too many sparse meals. He had shadows under his eyes and Claire couldn't wait to hold him to her and force everything bad away.

They got to Craigh na dun by dusk. It was a lot quicker in the wagon than on foot.

Jamie and Ian made faces at each other when they saw the bags she had stashed in the woods.

"You will be glad I brought all of this later," She had to defend herself, the last thing she could stand being thought of was a pack rat.

After all the bags were loaded Roger said his goodbyes. He's enjoyed his time but he wanted his Da.

Claire gave him a bracelet that had a jemstone on it to make the trip a little easier. "Keep that on, it will help with going through the stones." He nodded his little head and patted the bracelet. "When we get up there, think about your Da, the Reverend, think about him hard, imagine seeing him walking in your house. Think about Mrs. Graham in the kitchen." Roger nodded and set his face in a look of concentration.

"Aye, I will." His face was set in a hard line of concentration and Claire kissed his forehead.

"You're a braw lad, your Da will be verre happy to see ye." Jamie smiled at the boy's look of concern.

Claire and Roger walked up to the stones and Ian and Jamie followed at a distance. As soon as Claire and Roger got close to the middle stone, the traveling stone, Roger looked at her. "I hear my Da!" He had a hold of her hand and he waved it in happiness.

"Da!" He yelled, and looked at Claire,"My Da is yelling for me" He took a step into the stone still holding Claire's hand.

"Claire!"Jamie yelled and lunged for her as he saw her arm disappear. He had his arms around her breasts and was trying to pull her head and right arm back. "Ian, help me!"

Ian was looking with wide eyed astonishment. It wasn't that he didn't believe Jamie when he told them about Claire going through the stones, but seeing it was another thing entirely. Ian shook himself and wedged himself against the stone and held onto Claire's legs so they wouldn't walk through the stones.

Minutes passed and still Ian held her legs and Jamie had Claire's upper body. Jamie was yelling her name and telling her to come back. Jamie saw the babies moving in her belly through her dress and was astonished.

"Claire, come back to me Claire, Sassenach, mo cride, come back!" Jamie was desperate.

Finally, finally, Claire withdrew her arm and head from the stone and fell into Jamie's arms.

"Claire, wake up, Claire" Jamie tried to shake her but she was unconscious.

Jamie worried about being in the open during daylight and carried her down the hill and lay her in the wagon. He tried to wake her again, to no avail. Jamie thanked God when he saw the movement still in her belly.

"She's no awake yet, but the bairns look fine, like they be running." Jamie told Ian, then answered his unspoken question. "Let's keep moving, it's not safe to stay in one place." Ian nodded then got Jamie's horse to tie to the back of the wagon and together Ian and Jamie set up the big cloth so there would be some covering in the wagon.

Jamie rode in the back of the wagon at Claire's side and Ian drove till it was dark, then fed and watered the oxen and the horses, unhitching them for the night.

All three slept in the wagon, Ian on top of the bags of sugar and Jamie curled himself around Claire and hardly closed his eyes.

Early the next morning Ian was up and on his way to the creek for water. Jamie was still trying to wake Claire. When he got back Jamie was out of the wagon muttering and punching a tree.

"Claire would think ye mighty funny."

"She'll nae wake Ian." Jamie kicked a rock but was immediately sorry. Claire would know what to do, he felt so useless. Maybe if he got her home to Jenny she would know what to do with Claire.

"She has time still,the bairns are still moving and you did say the passage through the stones is hard." Ian was trying to find reasons to keep hope.

Jamie took a deep breath. God would nae allow her back to leave so soon. "Aye" was all he said and jumped back in the wagon to hand out dried meat and a bannock to Ian who hopped up front and started the wagon moving.

Several hours later the bairns weren't moving so much and Jamie was shaking Claire's shoulders begging her to wake up with tears running down his cheek.

"Stooooop." Claire was immediately sick of the shaking. And immediately hungry and sick at the same time.

Jamie stopped shaking her with an open mouth of astonishment while Claire opened her eyes and held her head. " I hate those damned bloody stones right now."

"Oh thank ye God" Jamie was laughing and touching Claire's cheek and tears were coming down his cheek. "I don't, they brought ye to me."

She looked up at him then around the wagon. Claire started to sit up and touch him but quickly changed her mind putting her head out the back to vomit.

Jamie held her hair and sat behind her so she could lean on him. "Oh Sassenach, you were out for the whole night."

"It's the stones, I think every time I go through it gets worse." Claire leaned back on Jamie, he felt so strong and nice.

"You didn't go all the way through this time, just your head and an arm, Did the lad make it home?" Jamie had his hands on her, around the babies.

"He did. The Reverend was very happy to see him but was rather alarmed at seeing us come through the stones. I don't think he believed it was true. He does now." Claire smiled at the memory of seeing Roger hug his wide eyed, open mouthed Father.

Claire was relaxing now in Jamie's arms. She was so big she had felt awkward since she saw him. "I'm so big now." Claire said. It wasn't a question but Jamie saw the need for reassurance.

"Sassenach," He had his mouth right next to her ear,"You are more beautiful now than ever before." He put his arms around Claire's very large middle."These are our bairns, ye are growing life in yeself and ye are radiant."

Claire put her arms on top of his,"As much as I want to stay like this forever I need water and food." Jamie smiled and kissed her ear. Then moved to allow her to get her container of water.

He waited until she rinsed and spit a few times then asked,"What is that?" He picked up her water holder and looked at it closer.

"It's the best I could find that would fit in at this time. It's really meant to hold wine. You think it looks weird?"Claire looked at it again.

"As long as nae one sees it up close." He moved to put it back in her food bag but she already had a hold of the bag and started eating cheese and a big hunk of bread which she split with Jamie.

"Do you want some cheese?" Claire smiled at him, and Jamie thanked God again for bringing her through the stones.

"Aye" Jamie smiled and took the offered food, and told her about Ian holding her feet and Jamie holding her chest and other arm trying not to let her go through the stones.

"I don't remember most of it. I think we were unconscious just a few minutes on the other side, the Reverend threw water on us. Roger was very happy to see his Father." Claire smiled.

"He sounds like a good lad." Jamie was eating part of a summer sausage and apparently liked it but he was inwardly yelling at himself. Why didn't I think of water?

"Jamie! Redcoats, get ready to jump." Ian yelled from the front.

Jamie got his threadbare coat and moved to the back of the wagon.

"What-" Claire had started to ask what he had to do but Jamie cut her off.

"I will explain later. Cover everything up and lay down like you are unwell-" But he jumped as soon as Ian had yelled again. They were going around a bend.

Claire quickly covered everything up and laid down covering as much space as possible.

"Whoa there" A cultured English voice said.

Ian stopped the wagon and the horses protested. "Good Day to ye"

"What's in the wagon?" A less cultured voice answered

"Me sister, she is ill and far gone with bairn." Ian didn't sound anywhere near as nervous as he felt. Especially as he saw one of the redcoats in the group start to walk around to the back of the wagon. "Be careful sir, me sister is not well."

As if on cue Claire started coughing and almost moaned, "Ian, why have we stopped? I think I'm going to vomit, do you have the bucket?"

The redcoat that was going to the back of the wagon to look in backed slowly toward his fellows. "Do you have any weapons?"

"No sir, absolutely not." Ian couldn't imagine Clare bringing any weapons. She would bring medicines and potions.

"Walk on." The cultured voice in charge yelled and Ian got the oxen going to move on towards home.

Jamie put his dirk back. He had been waiting for the redcoat to look at his wife and try anything. But as always, Clare was smart. He smiled as he heard her made up coughing. No one would touch someone ill, especially now. Jamie moved back in the bush as the redcoat came back to the front.

Jamie followed them in the brush for about an hour, then heard Ian's "Jamie, it's safe." In about 5 seconds he was back in the wagon.

Two more nights passed. They were blessedly uneventful and no more red coats were seen. Jamie and Claire were sleeping together in the wagon while Ian slept near the small fire he made nightly after the first night in the wagon. Jamie and Claire slept in each other's arms at night, and talked all day long about things that had happened while they were separated.

About midday on the 4th day Ian stopped the wagon and went to the back calling for Claire. "We are almost home, do ye want to ride up front to see everything?"

Claire called from the front where she had squirmed herself onto the seat, "Absolutely!"

Ian laughed and came back up front and drove them home with Jamie standing behind them."

Mrs. Crook was hanging laundry but when she saw the unfamiliar wagon she ran for Jenny.

"Och, aye, I will take care of it, take the bairns." Jenny was at the door with one baby in her arms and one holding onto a leg.

"Aye Mistress" Mrs. Crook took the children in and tried to settle their disagreeableness about being pulled off their Mam.

Jenny straightened herself and then stood tall waiting. She squinted, could it be?

"Ian!?" Jenny ran to the wagon just coming through the arch.

Ian put the brake on and got down to embrace his wife.

"Who did ye bring wit ye?" Jenny pulled out of the hug and looked around her husband's shoulder to see Claire, "Oh, Saints be praised, Claire!" Jenny moved to the other side of the wagon and started to help her down until Jamie came around the back of the wagon and picked his wife off the wagon in his arms. He paused, feeling her extra weight and an urge of pride came to him.

"Put her down ye clout heid" Jenny hit her brother on the shoulder jokingly.

Jamie, taking his time about it, set Claire down and Jenny hugged her.

"Oh, how long do ye have?" Jenny put her arms around Claire's middle. After a moment her eyebrows went up, "Do you have…"

"Twins, yes" Claire confirmed it and smiling, held Jenny's hands.

"Oh, St. Bride, preserve you." Jenny looked worried.

"It's okay, everything will be fine, and about 4 weeks I think." Claire was about seventy five percent as sure as she acted.

Jamie came behind Claire and put his hand on her shoulder, "Me own bairns sister"

"Are ye okay?" Jenny looked worried, "No problem with the stones?" She looked closer and asked in a low voice.

"Well, lets get inside and we will tell you the whole story." Claire smiled at Jenny, so glad to be here with her, and Ian, and Jamie so thankful he was here and she was home.

They went inside and Jenny saw the back of the wagon being emptied; cotton, wool, wheat, tea, coffee, silk, flax and bags and bags of sugar.

"Ian, where did all this come from?" Jenny was happy about the goods but worried. "Where did ye find the coin?"

"I'm going to let Claire answer that." And he wisely went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"I brought a lot of coin and I'd hope it would be enough for you and Ian to take me in-"

"Posh, ye family Claire, where else do ye belong but with ye family?" Jenny looked almost upset at Claire's questioning her.

Claire smiled, "Ian reminded me of this so we bought goods that might seem a little frivolous at this time." Claire reached in her pocket, ready for it…

"Ye might have saved some-" Jenny stopped as Claire opened Jenny's hands and poured coins in them from her pockets.

"I see, so we're in better shape, aye," Jenny looked at Claire, dropped all the coins to the ground and they both laughed and hugged each other.

A long while later that day, after Mrs. Crook had made them a marvelous dinner; they celebrated Claire's return with a cake that the young ones enjoyed immensely. The four adults talked all day and Claire told everyone about the inverness of the twentieth century. She talked about living by herself at the hotel just waiting till she could come back.

Jenny was listening, sitting by the fire with her mending basket at her feet, "Claire, sister, ye were never alone, ye family were here, praying for ye safety.

Claire and Jamie were sitting comfortably together, but at this she sat up and took one of Jenny's hands and looked at her, "I'm so glad to be here."

Jenny smiled, and almost teared up, but stood up, in commander mode.

"Aight, we need to hide yon special goods in the priest hole." Jamie knew it was right but he hated to share the space. "Sister, do ye need anything?" Jenny looked at Claire again.

"No Jenny, thank you. Just a few blankets and a flat surface." Claire yawned, covering her mouth.

"Off to bed then, I've had the servants make up the room by the priest hole, I thought it would be convenient just in case." Jenny nodded to Claire and Jamie. She waited looking to see if Jamie would go back to the cave.

"Thank ye" Jamie went to help Ian move the new goods to the priest hole and Jenny led Claire to the room she'd indicated. "This will do just fine." Jamie nodded at his sister, silently asking her not to bring up the cave again as he'd not told Claire about it yet.

Claire saw the six heavy leather bags and she thought about unpacking tonight, but she was really too tired. Ian and Jamie went outside to do a last check on the animals.

Claire washed and put on her heavier nightdress. Jamie came in to see her digging in one of the bags. He just watched her, so happy to have her with him and so proud to see her with child.

"Yes!" Claire pulled out the peanut butter jar and got up to sit on the bed but froze when she saw him.

Jamie walked the rest of the way in, closed the door and pulled his shirt off, "And what is yon prize?"

Claire sat on the bed and watched him taking off his clothes, "Peanut butter." She was still watching him as she opened the jar, put one finger in scooping up a fair amount and stuck it in her mouth and made sucking noises. Jamie stopped undressing and looked at her.

"What?" Claire's mouth was mostly stuck together and she giggled.

"Oh, my Sassenach, ye are so lovely." Jamie smiled, thinking he might break from happiness.

"Sitting here sucking on peanut butter?" Claire asked, now licking her fingers.

Jamie turned around and looked out the window.

"So lovely you can't look at me?" Claire was watching him look at everything but her. She went and rinsed her peanut butter hand and brushed her teeth.

She turned around from the water basin and saw Jamie naked and, well, ready for a lot more than she was ready for. "I'm sorry but I canna look at ye without wanting ye."

"Oh Jamie" It was a whisper, but a sound that echoed in her heart and she wanted him as much as he, apparently, wanted her.

"I know, ye are too far gone with our bairns for it to be safe. But come to bed and let me touch ye, hold ye." He sat down and patted the other side of the bed. She sat down and he ran his hands along her nightdress,"This is lovely'" He scooted it over her head and sat it on the night table. "But ye are more lovely." They were face to face and Jamie propped pillows up for Claire to lay against while Jamie rubbed her feet, then her calves and knees.

He looked up at her and she said simply,"Yes Jamie" Claire squirmed a bit, "Please"

Later that night as Jamie pulled her back to lay against him Claire started,"I'm sorry-" Jamie stopped her.

"No, ye are not allowed to be sorry for anything. We will do what we need to for the safety of ye and the bairns. I am alive and holding me wife who is carrying me children. I am perfect." He kissed her on the top of the head. Jamie pulled Claire to him to sleep. He put one arm over the babies, kissed her neck, and went straight to sleep. Claire was already asleep.

The next morning when Claire woke Jamie was already gone. She saw there was a fire at the hearth and clean water in the basin so she got up, washed and dressed. Claire thought briefly about hot showers, then forgot it as she wandered to the kitchen for food.

"You missed breakfast" Jenny was sitting at the table chopping vegetables smiling at her.

"Sorry, I guess I was tired." Claire's cheeks grew red.

"It's fine, let me warm ye up some porridge." Jenny made her a bowl and set it to heat by the fire.

"How often do redcoats come to LallyBroch?" Claire tried to settle herself on the table.

"About once a month. They visit the clans in a certain order so we always have a day or two notice before they get here. We can put all the valuables in the priest hole, including Jamie." Jenny gave Claire a spoon and her warmed bowl of porridge.

Claire ate and Jenny told her about everything that had been going on since Culloden.

Jamie interrupted them by running inside and yelling "Riders coming." He got in the priest hole and Jenny covered the door.

"Where are all those bags ye brought?" Jenny was walking around the kitchen putting away anything that looked valuable.

"I'll go hide them." Claire got up and went to her and Jamie's room to deal with them. She was folding the last bag into a full drawer when she heard Jenny say she was going outside. Claire gave up and put the bag behind the bed.


	3. Riders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The riders arrive, and a crush develops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander.
> 
> I apologize for the delay of this chapter. I was trying to improve my punctuation and the tense changing. I'm not sure I did improve it, so if it bothers you I understand if you don't want to continue reading this story.
> 
> Thank you to all my readers!

Chapter Three

Claire took a few steps out of her room and paused. Whoever the riders were, if they came in the house Jenny would have to introduce her. She had initially considered staying in the kitchen, but if she lay on the bed and pretended to be sleeping it might give Jenny a minute or two of privacy to tell her about the riders. Claire promptly turned around and went back to her room. She slipped off her leather shoes and lay down in bed pulling a blanket over her. She was trying to keep calm. Several minutes later she heard Jenny’s voice and Claire waited for Jenny to come to her.

_Minutes passed...5, 20, 1000? Claire thought._

Finally Jenny came through the bedroom door. “Hi Sister, how are you feeling?” Jenny’s false voice came to Claire and she sat up quickly.

“Claire, they are only neighbors, not redcoats but they are for the English. They had word of a wagon and are looking for Jamie.” Jenny whispered, and looked disgusted. She turned her head and Claire thought she was going to spit but Jenny only muttered “Traitors” under her breath.

“How should I act?” Claire was up and ready. Jenny took a look around the room, deep in thought. Claire made motions with her hands. “What should I do?” She whispered urgently.

“Do ye have anything black? A shawl -”Jenny cut herself off after Claire grabbed her black shawl she already had on the bed. “Wrap it around yer shoulders an’ pretend to be in mourning. If they bring Jamie up, act distressed and excuse yeself to rest. It’s two men and pregnant women usually make them uncomfortable.” Jenny helped Claire tie off her shawl and they walked hand in hand to the parlor.

“Madam Murray, oh” The younger man looked at Claire in surprise. Claire made a curtsy as best she could and the two men made motions to dismiss her and waved at a chair. “I apologize for interrupting your rest Madam Fraser.” The younger man bowed to her and Claire nodded.

Jenny introduced the 4th Earl of Seafield and his son. They were both outfitted in what was likely current English high fashion but to Claire they looked like dandy’s. Claire wanted to appear calm but her heart was pounding out of her chest.

“Where have you been Madam Fraser? I understand you recently came home?” Viscount Seafield sat close to Claire.

Jenny spoke up “Claire went to France when she couldn’t persuade my Brother to leave the Jacobite cause. Was it right before Culloden?”

“Yes, actually right before.” Claire looked at Viscount Seafield wondering why he was so close to her.

“An Englishwoman!” Viscount Seafield kissed her hand and Claire tried not to flinch. “I’d heard Jamie Fraser had married an Englishwoman, how delightful! Why didn’t you go back to your family?”

“She is with her family.” Jenny stated firmly,

“Of course she is.” The Earl added after a too long pause.

Polite conversation ensued concerning generalities in France, but the Claire caught the Viscount staring at her.

“Why the black? Are you mourning your Jacobite husband?” Viscount Seafield picked up a bit of her shawl and rubbed it between his fingers.

“He’s gone, so yes I am mourning him regardless of his political views.” She looked down, just wanting them to leave but trying to sound patient.

“When is the happy event to be?” Viscount Seafield nodded to Claire’s middle.

“The sooner the better hey?” The Earl looked at Jenny and she gave a forced smile. “That is what my wife always said when she was carrying our children.” The Earl smiled back at Jenny but anyone could see it was an awkward subject for him.

Viscount Seafield was still staring at Claire when she turned to him and then looked to the Earl, “Please excuse me. Carrying two babies is difficult and I tire easily. I wish to return to my rest”

“Of course, of course. Uh, did you say two babies? Are you having twins?” The Viscount was looking like a tasty dish had just been served.

“Yes, I am carrying twins.” Claire got up with some effort and was going to leave when the Viscount caught her hand and kissed it again.

“How enticing, Madam Fraser you must allow me to call on you when your mourning period is over. A lovely English rose such as yourself should not be alone long.” He still had her hand and Claire tried not to look as angry as she felt when she realized his intentions.

“Of course,” Jenny added, acting like it would be a great honor. “But sir you must wait till spring so she is fully recovered.” Jenny got up to walk with Claire but the Viscount put Claire’s arm through his arm.

“I insist that I be the one to escort you to your room.” The Viscount was acting like he was at court with this gesture.

Jenny smiled again and looked back to the Earl who was looking at his waistcoat.

Claire lowered her eyes and she tried with a modicum of success to look calm. The Viscount walked her back in the direction she had come talking to her the whole time of himself. Claire did pay more attention when he offered to send a servant of his home to her.

“Sir, I assure you that is not necessary.” Absolutely not, she would not have someone in the house who would report their movements back to him. Jamie could never come out of the priest hole!

“You must allow me to do something, putting you in this room seems like a crime. Where are your flowers? Where are your pictures? What is that smell?” He walked further into the room. “It smells… earthy.” He was still looking round.

Claire walked toward him and tried to get his attention. “How clever you must be.” She put a smile on her face, “I am a healer so I often smell like herbs.” Claire put a light hand on his back and tried to get him out of the room.

“What is that? Does your bed double as storage?” The Viscount walked to the bag she had put behind the bed.

_What the bloody hell was in that bag Beauchamp?! Think!_

“Of course not Viscount, that is only a bag of cloth I brought with me to make clothes.” Claire stepped in front of him.

“Why are you making anything? Don’t you have a maid?” The Viscount seemed a little put out at the idea of Claire sewing. Claire thought quickly about what might put him out of her room.

“Sir, you are asking private questions that are making me uncomfortable.” Claire looked down again and hoped she appeared embarrassed.

“I believe I have made you blush.” The Viscount touched her cheek and Claire had to stop herself from kicking him.

“I will leave you so you may rest. Please send a note when you have had your children so I may time my next visit properly.” He kissed her hand and left the room. Claire stood there for a few moments being grateful he was gone.

She washed her hands in the freshwater basin and rubbed her cheek. "Yes, I will let you time your next visit properly, right after I am dead you disgusting dandy man." Jenny laughed from the door and Claire looked up in surprise.

“You were muttering Sister. I didn’t know the English didn’t like other English.”

“Are they gone?” Claire said, hoping they were gone.

“Yes, they left after the Viscount came back. We will let Jamie out in a few hours, just to be sure they don’t come back.” Jenny came into the room and they talked over the visit.

“It’s good the Viscount liked you because they might persuade anyone who still thinks we are hiding Jamie to look elsewhere for him.” Jenny was sitting on the bed talking with Claire.

“That would be good, he might spend less time in the priest hole.” Claire wondered just how much time he spent there.

“Better than the cave.” Jenny almost bit her tongue as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“What is this cave?” Claire looked at Jenny who was silent. “Jenny, please.”

“Fine, I will tell ye.” Jenny took a deep breath. “When Jamie came home he was near dead mind ye, but I refused to lose him too. When he became well we were over the moon that he lived. The cut on his leg was terrible ye see. He initially told us ye were gone, and we mourned ye Sister, but at least we had Jamie. His sadness though...it was so thick sometimes ye could not be in the same room with him because ye could nae breath. He thought he could nae be with people and he did nae want to risk us, so he found an uaimh, a cave, and was livin in it.” Jenny was looking in the distance remembering those hard months.

“Jamie lived in a cave, like an animal?” Claire sounded almost angry.

“Aye. He would come down about once every month. He shaved and supped with us. If he caught food he could share it was always on the step at first light, but he would be gone.” Jenny was mentally comparing Jamie with Claire to Jamie without Claire.

“Do you feel safe if he is in the house?” Claire looked at Jenny and hoped for a yes.

“No, but it is better than having him in the cave.” Jenny looked down and wanted to change the subject to talk about happy things

“Show me the clothes you have ready for my nieces or nephews.”

Jenny looked to Claire and she nodded to the bag sitting by the bed. “Dump that out on the bed.” Claire instructed while she moved further towards the pillows.

Jenny picked up the bag and dumped it out, “Claire, I had no idea ye had so much ready.” They both looked at the pile on the bed. “Let's go through this.”

An hour and a half later Mrs. Crook came to the door and told Jenny lunch was almost ready.

The baby clothes were sorted and Jenny was impressed which made Claire privately proud. “Jamie is going to have to make the bairns a dresser. For now we can put the clothes on the table in the dressing room.” Jenny stood up with a stack.

“Dressing room?” Claire looked around.

Jenny smiled and opened the door that you could only see when you knew what to look for, “It’s right here.”

Claire took another stack and went through the opened door. “This is a big dressing room!”

“Yes, it’s a guest bedroom so I think the dressing room was made large to be accommodating.” Jenny looked around the dressing room that needed a window, or at least a candle. “Let’s go eat Claire.” Jenny watched her leave the dressing room to make sure she didn’t lose her footing.

Claire, Jenny and young Jamie ate lunch and afterwards young Jamie went to play while Claire and Jenny went to the kitchen to work on dinner. After another hour Jenny went to let Jamie out of the priest hole.

“Are ye sure it's safe?” Were Jamie’s first words out of the small door.

“Aye, they only stayed a short time to drool over ye wife.” Jenny said walking him back to the kitchen.

“What do you mean?” Jamie looked at her to see if she was kidding. Jenny told him about the visit and he scowled. 

“Hush, Claire is asleep at the table.” Jenny motioned to the wooden table where Claire had been knitting and fell asleep with one hand propping her chin. Jamie smiled to see her, it was still a happy surprise.

Jamie quickly ate his soup and bread then picked his wife up to carry her to bed.

He stood next to the bed, full of pride in her and desire for her. Jenny peeked in and Jamie looked at her. She walked quietly in and went to the dressing room Jamie had forgotten was there. Jenny motioned for him to follow her.

After Jamie went in and almost pulled the door shut he realized why she had a candle.

“Look at all this, Claire brought all this back for the bairns.” She motioned to the stacks on the table.

“Why would bairns need so much?” Jamie looked at the four little piles. Jenny poked him in the ribs.

“Ye have nae idea of how much bairns need, do ye?” She shook her head.

“How much **more** do we need for two bairns?” Jamie asked Jenny, the authority on bairns. 

“Ye two are more than halfway, but ye really don’t have to worry about more until after the bairns are born.” Jenny was feeling one little shirt that was so smooth. “Except for a place for them to sleep. Maggie is still in the wee bed so I nae have one to lend ye.” She thought she would leave the dresser talk until they had beds.

“I can make my bairns a bed.” Jamie pulled his shoulders back thinking about the project.

“Well, get to it then, and make sure to stay in the woods till dark.” Jenny shooed him out.

Jamie paused at the bed looking at his wife then left the room and went out the back door. Jenny followed him out and went to the kitchen.

Dusk fell and the children came in for dinner. Then it was washing, stories and bedtime. Claire finally woke up and was instantly hungry. She went to the dining room and helped set up the table until Jenny came back.

“I was goin to wake ye, but ye were up already.” Jenny paused for a moment and stared at her belly. “It will take me more than a day to get used to the size of ye.”

Claire smiled and rubbed her babies who responded by doing stomps and reminding her she was hungry. Jenny heard her stomach rumble and pulled off a chunk of bread and handed it to her. “It will be a little while before supper.” Claire was grateful for a nibble.

Dusk finished falling and Ian, Fergus and then Jamie came inside. 

Claire heard Fergus’s voice and went to find him. She turned into the kitchen and stopped, “Fergus!”

He turned and his mouth dropped open. Claire went forward and hugged him.

“Milady, God has restored you.” Fergus dropped to his knees and made the sign of the cross.

Claire held his hand and tugged him up. “I wasn’t dead Fergus, it was a big misunderstanding we will explain another time. Lets eat.” She put her arm through the boys’ and they went into the dining room.

Dinner was another multi dish affair and everyone ate large plates and talked. Fergus talked about the errand that had kept him away for a few days, trying to find friends and kin that fought at Culloden. Jamie was smiling as Claire got everyone to eat some leafy greens. The remainder of yesterday's cake came in for dessert along with fruit salad. Claire saw the fruit salad go untouched so she put a heaping serving on Fergus and Jamie’s dish and handed it to Jenny who put a small amount on her plate. Until she took a bite. Even Fergus liked the fruit salad.

After dinner Mrs. Crook came in to clear the table and Fergus said his goodnight. Claire went with him to  _ reteach  _ him to brush his teeth and to talk to him. Ian and Jamie went outside to check that everything was secure. Jenny sat in front of the fire with a dram of whiskey to reflect on the day and she realized that having Claire in the house felt right.

Claire made it back to the stairwell to see Jamie waiting for her. “Did I take too long?”

“Not at all Sassenach, I just wanted to see you down these stairs. They are the reason we are sleeping on the first floor.” He took one hand as they started down.

“I thought it was because our room is close to the priest hole?” Claire looked at him, wondering if it was the right time to ask about the cave but then she yawned.

Jamie leaned toward her ear, “There is another one upstairs.” Then he swept her in his arms and carried her the rest of the way down the stairs. He put her down in their bed and leaned over to kiss her. 

He stood back up and started to take his shirt off and saw her struggling to get her stockings off.

He knelt down and took them off for her, kissing her leg every few inches. “Ye must allow me help ye, there is nae reason for ye to do battle with yer stockings.”

Claire smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed his shoulders. She lifted his chin and kissed him. “Thank yo-” He silenced her with another kiss.

Jamie got on the bed behind her and got her dress off and all the layers underneath. He rubbed her stretched stomach and spoke to the babes in the Gaelic. Claire didn’t know all of what he said but it soothed the babies and her. Jamie got his clothes off and lay behind her with an arm around her and his hand resting on his children. 

Claire felt his hardness, resting against her back. She thought about taking him in her mouth, but she yawned again and made it her plan for the morning.

But in the morning he was gone when she woke. There was a short note telling her he would be back for dinner. Claire dressed and went to the kitchen to find it was washing day. She ate breakfast and went outside to help.

The day passed quickly. Claire took another nap after lunch and woke to delicious smells. She went to the kitchen to help but Jenny said dinner was on schedule and started Claire on the mending basket by the fireplace.

After all the sewing she had been doing Claire’s skill and speed was much improved and Jenny was impressed. They made plans to start a new pair of trews for Ian with some wool Claire had brought. Jenny thanked her for the use of the wool and Claire hushed her ‘Jenny style’ by telling her they were family and “Who else do ye think I brought it for?” They both laughed.

Fergus was in first and Claire wondered about his clothing. He washed, then Claire and Fergus talked for a while and he hugged her. “I am so glad you are here milady.” Claire patted his little back.

“So am I Fergus, so am I.”


	4. The Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie visit the cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

The rest of the week passed quietly. Claire started to acclimate herself to the routine of the household and was waking up earlier. Her mornings were spent with Jenny on household chores and her afternoons were spent napping which Jenny fully supported after the day Claire didn’t nap and fell asleep at dinner. In her evenings and spare moments Claire was getting ready for the birth. She wrote down her instructions in case she couldn't verbally express them. Claire had a large carafe sitting next to a bucket full of antiseptic which she kept tightly sealed. She had her clean towels and blankets sitting next to the bed and one night Jamie moved the birthing chair into the bedroom.

“I approve of the birthing chair, but why do you have straw?” Claire looked at Jamie who was quickly becoming red in the face.

“Isn’t it for, uhm, the mess?” He looked at the straw.

“I didn’t realize that was still done...I only saw a few births but there wasn’t straw in the room.”

Claire remembered one in particular where the Mother had died.

Jamie knew by the look on her face what she was remembering. “You were only called when there was a problem. The birthing chair and straw are needed when everything is fine.” As if to prove how he thought the birthing to come would be, he spread the straw on the floor. Jamie walked to his wife and wrapped her in his arms.

As comfortable and safe as it felt to have Jamie’s arms around her there were things that needed to be discussed.

“Why have you been living in a cave?” Claire asked after she drew back a bit.

“Jenny?” He asked, but he already knew.

“Yes, but that's not the point.” Claire needed to know why he would live like an animal.

Jamie sighed and motioned for her to sit in one of the fluffy blue chairs and he sat in the other. He looked at her for a long moment and Claire thought he might not tell her. Then he said, “When I thought ye were gone forever it felt like a part of me died. It was as if I left my heart on Craigh na Dun.” He paused as his voice wavered. “I couldna feel what I was supposed to be feeling, I wasna happy to be alive. Jenny worked hard to get me back on my feet and I was just angry that I didn’t die at Culloden . Living here with Jenny and her family just felt like happiness I didna deserve and I was putting them at risk which they didna deserve. I found the cave and figured why not ya’ken. It suited my needs of being remote and hard to find and it’s much better than the priest hole.” He had the distant look about him and Claire knew he was seeing the cave. There were tears on his face and she wanted to touch him but he wasn’t finished yet. “I thought if I was out of the house they were safe. In the cave I didna have to pretend to be feelin something that I wasna feeling. I could be who I was and I had plenty of room to do it.” He stopped and saw she was crying.

“Who were you?” She whispered.

“I was a man without the sun even though it shone directly on me. I was half a man and less on some days. I tried to think of life before ye but I couldna remember how I was then. Some days I just sat because it was hard to breathe.”

Claire got herself up and sat in front of him and put her head in his lap. It was an awkward move but Jamie kept still until she touched him, then he touched her face and thanked God for her again. “I was barely alive without ye, mo cridhe. I thought of ye with Frank and I would get so angry I wasna fit company for wild beasts.” He stroked her hair and she grabbed one of his hands and held it. They sat for a while, each imagining the other through the lonely months. 

Claire sat up and looked at him, “I understand, I tried not to think about losing you. I made myself only remember the good times. I was afraid to lose the babies.” She paused and rubbed her middle. “I was never with Frank after you.” She paused to be sure that was clear. “We talked and yelled a little bit but I couldn’t even consider being with him. I felt so out of place, I just wanted to come back home. I wanted to be here with Jenny and Ian, to be in the place with memories of you.” She stroked his legs and smiled at him. “I was lonely in a room full of people. I tried to keep myself busy and focused on my pregnancy.” Claire put her head back down on Jamie’s legs and thanked God he lived despite his wish to the contrary.

“Don’t be afraid,” Jamie paused hoping Claire would remember his words from the first night they were married.

“There’s the two of us now.” Claire looked back up at her husband and smiled.

Moments went by and Claire was just looking at her magnificent husband. Then she noticed Jamie becoming hard under his kilt and her meaningful look changed to something sly.

“Sassenach, I canna control that, but I am nae animal; I can wait.” Jamie was going to push the chair back, stand up and help Claire up but her hand went under his kilt and he froze.

“Sassenach,” Jamie said low and slowly.

Claire was kissing his leg but she looked up and said, “Hush” just as quietly and slow. She put her hand around his cock and felt the velvet smoothness.

Claire kissed her way up his leg and got on her knees. She looked at Jamie and he was watching her stroke his cock. She was gentle and kissed all the up his thigh making a mental note to look at that scar in the light.

She made it up to his cock and it was beautiful. Tall, hard and pulsing she licked him from base to tip before putting him in her mouth. He groaned and gripped the sides of the chair.

Claire put one hand on his balls and gave them a gentle squeeze and was lazily licking and sucking him.

“Sassen-” Jamie felt the tension tipping over but it was too quick. Claire moved her hand from his balls to his cock to hold him and catch his release. When Jamie caught his breath he looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, but that was-”

“Long overdue?” Claire finished his sentence. She tried to get up with one hand as the other was very full.

“I was going to say verre good but yes, long overdue too.” Jamie helped her up and watched her wash her hands. “Ye are so beautiful Claire.” She turned and met his eyes. She dried her hands and went to him, putting her arms around him. He held onto her and felt the babies move.

“Does it hurt when they move?” Jamie rubbed where a tiny fist had reached out.

“Yes, but usually it's not too bad.” She closed her eyes and rested her head right under his chin. 

Jamie knew his whole world was in his arms. “Let’s go to bed.” Jamie said and started to undress Claire.

___~___

Claire’s second week was very productive. After Jenny saw how much cloth Claire had brought, they decided to hire one of the local girls to come everyday and sew for them. Fergus had a complete set of new clothes by the end of the week. They were starting with Fergus because Jamie had instructed him to stay close to Claire. Jamie was gone from dawn to dusk just to be safe but Fergus always knew how to find him. Claire marveled over how much Fergus had changed in a matter of months. 

At the end of the week Claire went to her room after lunch to nap but she couldn’t lay still. She felt too big and uncomfortable. She couldn’t find a position where her back didn’t hurt so she decided to take a walk instead. 

Ian and Fergus were making repairs to the barn. It didn’t reach freezing temperatures at night yet but it was getting close. At dinner the previous evening Ian said he’d planned to wait till spring but with the extra livestock they needed to make repairs before winter.

There were still some crops in the fields, mainly potatoes. Claire saw the herb garden she helped start many months ago. It looked like the chickens had cloned themselves; there were so many. Claire thought an expansion of the coop might be planned. There was life everywhere she looked and it felt so right. She rubbed her large middle and thought about the babies she would have soon. 

Claire mentally ran through her list of what she considered necessary for the birth and it comforted her to know everything was ready. They didn’t have beds yet for the babies but Jamie was working on them. They probably had too many outfits and blankets. Claire took another bite of the apple she was eating and grunted as it felt like one of the babies got her right in a lung. “I’m sure at least one of you is a Scot already.” She muttered. 

Claire thought about sitting down but was concerned about getting back up. Jenny or Mrs. Crook helped her get up during the day and Jamie or Ian in the evening. The wind blew and Claire pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. She looked up and realized how dark it was getting and she turned for home.

Claire was still a good distance from home when she saw Fergus.

“Is everything okay?” Claire waited impatiently for Fergus to catch his breath.

“Yes, milady. Madam Jenny sent me to find you for dinner.” Fergus explained. “Why did you walk so far?” He fell into step with her and Claire reached for his hand.

“I was thinking about things.” Claire didn’t look at him. She didn’t know how to explain the distance.

“Do the babies have you thinking?” Fergus almost pulled his hand back but it was nice to hold hands.

She looked at him and smiled. “Yes, the babies have me thinking.”

They continued the odd conversation a very pregnant woman has with a ten year old observant boy. Claire made a mental note to inquire into his education with Jenny. When they got in sight of the house it was full dark and raised voices could be heard. Fergus ran ahead to let them know Claire was fine. Two minutes later Jamie, Jenny and Ian filed out of the door.

“Are ye hurt?” Jamie ran to her and held her shoulders looking all over for a sign of injury.

“I’m fine.” Just then Claire’s stomach rumbled and Jamie gave her a look of disapproval.

“Yes, I’m hungry, like I am all the time now. I just went for a walk.” Claire hoped that would end the conversation but it continued into the house, during dinner and came back around into the conversation that night. 

“I will be more careful, I just felt restless today. Can we please talk about something else?”Claire sat on the bed and groaned as she tried to rub her back.

“Let me.” Jamie went to her and rubbed her back. 

“I worry about ye, and with the price on my hede I can’t be there for ye the way I want to.” Jamie explained in his almost apologetic voice. He was still rubbing Claire’s back when he looked at her to get a response.

Claire didn’t answer. She was asleep.

___~___

It was a very restless night for Claire and Jamie. She kept waking up uncomfortable and getting pains. He kept trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. 

At dawn he rose to see Claire looking at him.

“I want to see it.” She raised her chin and waited for him to say no.

“See what?” He raised one eyebrow with reserved hope about what she wanted to see.

“Your cave.” She said as firmly as she could muster.

“No, not in your condition.” She remained silent at Jamie’s words. Claire had expected the refusal and was waiting for a reason she could deal with logically.

“You can’t climb up there.” Jamie said.

“How do you know?”Claire met his eyes as he sat up in bed.

“Because you are heavy with child and should be staying very close to home.” He crossed his arms as he spoke.   
“I am two weeks from the due date and I feel very energetic.” She wanted to see the place that was his refuge. “If you don’t take me I will get Fergus to take me.” Claire added. She really had no intention to ask Fergus, the idea just popped in her head.

“We can stop on the way to Ol’ Mrs. Anam’s house.” She had a plan to convince him, she’d worked on it during the night while she walked the bedroom from the pain in her back. 

Last night at dinner, after the lecture for walking so far alone was put on hold, Jenny told them she’d had word of the redcoats on their way for the monthly visit. The plan was for Jamie to take Claire to Mrs. Anam’s house for a few days and Jamie return to his cave.

They talked about Fergus going with them because he could get help if there was any trouble but Jenny and Ian thought that was a bad idea. They knew the Captain who made the rounds and if there was anything different he would be suspicious. A missing child would raise his suspensions and likely his ire. Fergus would be in danger if he wasn’t at the house. An addition would be just as suspicious. Jamie had argued with Jenny about where Claire should go but in the end he saw her logic and agreed on Claire going to Mrs. Aman’s.

“Fine, we will  _ try _ ,” Jamie emphasized the word try, “To go to the cave. It’s not on the way, it is most definitely out of the way. If it was on the way to anything it wouldn’t be a good hiding spot.” He knew it was a bad idea; it would take a long time and they would be lucky if they ended up having only one night in the woods. Claire was uncomfortable in bed, he wondered how bad she would have it on the ground.

She started to get up to pack but he grabbed her hand, “Ye’ve not heard my demands wife.” She sat down at this and was going to protest but saw the look in his eye.

“Ye will be honest about how ye’re feeling.” He waited for her to agree.

“Fine, I will. My back hurts.” She wanted to say it felt like her low back was trying to detach itself from her spine but didn’t. Jamie was like a rock in pain and she wanted to be brave.

He got up and sat behind her to rub her back. “Ye will strongly consider what I say before discarding it and doing what ye want.” He paused again.

It was Claire’s turn to smile. He knew better than to tell her to ‘mind’ him. “Yes, I will strongly consider what you say.” She leaned back a little and Jamie put his arms around her shoulders.

“We are agreed then, we will try to go to my cave. Do ye need any help packing? I have to get into the woods but I can ask the lass in the kitchen to come help.”

“No, I can pack.” Claire watched him dress.

“I will just let Fergus know where to bring ye then.” Jamie got back on the bed and kissed her mouth and her stomach.

Claire started to tell him she didn’t need Fergus but stopped because she really didn’t want to argue. “Okay.” He looked at her as she said it, and kissed her again.

“Pack everything ye might need in case ye end up staying at Mrs. Anam’s house longer.” Claire nodded but really hoped she didn’t need to stay long. The babies were supposed to be born at home, where their Father was born.

Jamie kissed her. It was a soft and gentle kiss and Claire wanted him to stay but she didn’t say it and watched him leave. When the door closed she almost cried.

_ Get it together Beauchamp! The birth is two weeks away and women have been having babies for centuries, I don’t need to be scared. _

She packed quickly. Claire strongly considered what Jamie had said about bringing everything she might need for the birth and knew it was the right thing to do. When she was finished three of her leather bags were packed and she had the fourth one empty to fill with food and drink for the trip and for Jamie in the cave. Claire had to get Mary from the kitchen to help her get dressed even though her dress closed in the front. It seemed unlikely but Claire felt like she had gotten bigger overnight, or the babies had shifted dramatically.

Fergus was in the kitchen, just finishing his morning porridge and he looked proud to be trusted with the task ahead of them. Claire didn’t feel like eating but she nibbled on a slice of bread while she packed her food bag. Fergus carried the bags out and tied them on the mule they were taking for the trip.

Claire hugged Jenny who told her to be safe and was outside in the dooryard when she saw Fergus and the mule standing by the mounting block.

“I am walking.” Claire could not imagine waddling up on the mule.

“Milord told me you would say that. He said to tell you he wants you to ride only part of the way.” Fergus looked hopeful, he knew they were both strong willed.

“Fine.” Claire needed Fergus and one of the stable lads to help her but she got on the mule. She really wanted to walk because when she was still her back seemed to hurt more. 

Fergus led the mule out of the dooryard and onto the path. Eventually Claire grew accustomed to the movement. They were both quiet for a while then Claire asked, “Do you miss France?”

Fergus startled but he slowed down and looked at her and said, “I don’t think of it too much milady.” He seemed to think for a minute while they walked on, “France is special, I will always be french. But my home is with you and milord, wherever we go.” He smiled fondly at her.

“I’m glad Fergus, I couldn’t part with you and neither could Jamie.” Claire saw his shoulders get a little taller as he walked and they talked about Lallybroch and his daily routine for a stretch.

“How much farther?” Claire’s back pain was getting unbearable and she really wanted to walk.

“About a mile milady.” Fergus stopped for a moment and looked into the woods. He drew the knife at his belt and moved closer to Claire. But Jamie appeared and Fergus relaxed.

“Milord, the meeting place is not here.” Fergus looked at Jamie.

“I know, but I was following you in the woods and here seemed safe enough.” Jamie reached up and got Claire down.

“Thank you!” Claire rubbed her back and walked around. 

“You protected her well Fergus, thank ye.” 

“Of course milord.” Fergus sounded like the thought of not protecting Claire was impossible.

Jamie patted the boy on the back and took the mule’s leading rope. “Get back to the house. I saw the redcoats on their way, they will be there around lunch I think.” Jamie nodded in the direction back to the house.

“Yes, milord.” Fergus smiled at Jamie and hugged Claire. “Good luck milady.” He started back to the house and they heard the boy mutter “Stinking redcoats” and he spat on the ground.

Jamie smiled at Claire and they stepped into the woods.

A slow moving 3 hours later they were taking another break when Claire fell asleep with her head in his lap. He looked down at her and shook his head. He knew this was a bad idea but he also knew his headstrong wife. She woke up suddenly and grimaced and moaned.

“What? Is it time?” Jamie was ready to pick her up and run.

“No, it's not time. I bloody well hurt though dammit” Claire struggled to get up and Jamie helped her stand.

“Are ye in labor Sassenach?” Jamie was truly concerned and beating himself up mentally for allowing her to talk him into this side trip.

“No, I can’t be in labor. It’s early and my back is hurting.” She folded the blanket they’d used and stuffed it back into the bag. “Let’s go.” The longer she was still the more she hurt.

Jamie paused and weighed their options. Going back to the house with redcoats there was out of the question. He could force her to go to Mrs. Aman’s, if she was in labor there would be someone there to get help...maybe. Jamie had known Mrs. Aman since he was little and she was old then. They kept going.

It was nightfall by the time they made it to the cave. He got Claire settled and went back to where they left the mule. He got the rest of Claire’s bags off the mule and took the animal back to the road. Claire had named him Scruff for the hair around his neck and the mule knew his name already.

“Go home Scruff,” The mule stood there, so Jamie hit his rump. Scruff started towards home and Jamie watched it for a minute to be sure he kept moving.

He turned, picked up Claire’s bags and started up the hidden path to the cave.

~

Claire watched him leave and sat still for a little longer to be sure he wasn’t coming right back. 

She got up from where Jamie told her to rest and walked around the cramped area picking things up. She paused when a pain caused her to curse and rub her middle. It passed and she continued to look around the small space. Claire saw what was obviously where he slept and her name was carved into the rock near where he put his head. There were knives in different places all over the cave, she gripped the handle of one hard when a pain came and released the breath she was holding when it let up. He had small cooking utensils, some rope, and a bow but no arrows. Towards the rear of the cave on top of a rock was a stack of books. That was it. Jamie has lived here for months.

She walked to the rear of the space and had to pause her exploration again and bent over with a terrible cramp. Once it passed she saw what seemed to be a higher area but she couldn’t get herself up far enough to see. The love of her life lived this way for months and Claire felt cramped after less than a half hour.

Claire started to the front of the cave; it was six whole steps in the opposite direction. She was about to rub her back when a cramp doubled her over in pain and just then fluid gushed down her leg.

Jamie found her this way doubled over in pain and crying.

“Sassenach, what is it?” He dropped the bags and put his arms around his wife.

“I’m sorry Jamie, I’m so sorry.” She was crying so much it was hard to understand her words.

“Claire,” the odd use of her first name got her attention. “It’s alright, whatever it is, it’s alright.” Jamie’s voice was gentle but Claire was shaking her head.

“I’m losing the babies, it hurts!” Another pain came and she wished she had stayed in her time until they were born. Maybe they would’ve been safe.

Jamie put her in his sleeping space and emptied her bags. He added one of her blankets and loosened her clothing looking at it closely.

“This is not blood.” Claire looked at him after his statement and he could see her mind working.

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! I’m in bloody labor!” Almost on cue another pain came and Jamie reached in one of the bags and pulled out her carafe of antiseptic. He got the seal off and dipped his left hand in the liquid.

In his right hand were the notes and he inserted his left forefinger in Claire to attempt a rough measurement of dilation. He put his finger toward the cervix. Just then another pain came and Claire gripped Jamie’s shoulder.

The pain lessened and Claire tried to arrange herself enough to stand, “I have to get to Mrs. Aman’s and get the midwife.”

“Claire, I don’t think we have time for that.” Jamie had gone very still.

“How do you bloody well know, you’re a man!” She looked around and could not imagine bringing her children into the world in this filthy cave.

“I read your notes and instructions in your wee book. And even if I didn’t read them I felt a wee hede.” He looked back between her legs almost waiting.

“Bloody hell and damnation!” Claire said through the start of the next pain. She started yelling instructions to Jamie. 


	5. The Bairns are born!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The babies are born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped I portrayed the birth accurately, but I only had my experience to draw from.  
> I was nice one minute and as mean as a snake the next minute until it got really close to the time. This was during the birth of my first child. I was better as I got older and had more experience - I think we are all like that in more than childbirth.
> 
> As always,  
> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

Claire looked at Jamie frantically rummaging through the bags and she started crying.

“I’m so sorry, our children are going to be born in a cave and it's all my fault.” Claire moved her hand to wipe her tears but a pain had her doubled over. She wanted to scream but knew she couldn’t. Babies or no babies if someone heard her scream she would be putting her Jamie at a terrible risk.

It finally subsided a bit and Claire started getting herself together to leave. “I will get out of here, I was foolish to put you at risk life this.” Another contraction peaked and she was leaning on a rock and her hands were in fists before it abated.

Jamie stopped his rummaging and went to his wife to wipe her tears. “We will manage Sassenach. We always do.” Inside his head a little voice was calling him a fool but he had to appear calm. “Besides, it is too late to leave now. We are having our bairns here and it will be fine. We have your instructions and you can tell me what to do.” He rubbed her middle and was going to tell the babies to be good in gaelic, but he physically felt her tense. 

“Damn. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” Claire was trying hard not to scream

He saw the look on her face and took off his belt then handed it to her. “Bite down.” She took the belt but thought she wouldn't use it. Another contraction peaked and she bit down on the belt, hard.

When it subsided she said, “You have been so good to me since I’ve been back, thank you.”

“I’ve havna known a person to say a pregnant wife should not be indulged.” Jamie was holding her hand and stroking her hair. Another contraction started up and she paced a bit.

Jamie read through her instructions again and guided her through some breathing techniques even though she didn’t appear to hear him. He tried to get her to stay in one place but it didn’t seem possible. Jamie’s shirt grew wet with nervous sweat and Claire had yanked off every piece of clothing she was wearing. Jamie was in awe at how beautiful she was but knew it was not the time to tell her. He saw her body like some ancient pagan statue ripe with life and fierce as one of those lions he saw at a show in France.

Jamie had Claire lay down again so he could check on the baby. The head was even closer and God willing it would be born any minute,

Jamie looked about the cave and found the right rock for Claire to lean against. Not as good as a birthing chair, but it would be better than laying down. He helped her up and guided her to the rock and she just made it when another contraction came and didn’t seem to stop. 

“I fucking have to fucking push.” Claire grunted out and then punched a rock and cradled her hand afterwards.

Jamie braced her as well as he could then checked between her bare legs. He checked the paper again.

“With your next pain push Sassenach.” He picked up a few blankets and got ready by dunking a blanket and both his hands in the carafe of antiseptic to fight the wee germies.

“The belt, please.” Claire grunted out. Jamie gave it to her and she immediately bit down on it and made a long, low guttural sound.

Jamie squatted in front of her with his supplies and watched the miracle. In reality the actual birth lasted about two minutes but to Jamie it felt like hours and also no time at all. He guided her through the pushing and saw the head, then reached inside her to assist the shoulders like Claire had written in her instructions.

“Stop. stop pushing! Oh,” Jamie saw the legs gently coming out and he had a blanket around the baby and was rubbing the face with the wet blanket, then made some vigorous rubs on the chest and it was wailing. “Oh God, Oh mo chridhe, thank you, it looks just fine,” He wrapped it with the other blankets and continued, “ Thank you God, Sassenach, it’s a baby, it’s a baby” Jamie wiped the infant’s face again to remove the tears running freely down Jamie’s face. He was openly crying and muttering ‘Thank you God, it's a baby.’ over and over again. Later Claire would remember this and ask if he thought she might have a puppy.

Jamie handed the baby to Claire who was also crying but she talked him through setting the clamps and cutting the cord. She held the infant to her breast and it immediately started sucking. Jamie just stared at the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and thought his heart might burst . He jumped a bit, and Claire noticed.

“I forgot to look.” Jamie pulled the blanket back.

“Look at what?” Claire asked.

“It’s a girl!” Jamie laughed and kissed Claire. “We have a daughter, thank you Claire!” He was overjoyed at the thought of a little Claire. Just then Claire felt a small pain, she grunted and the afterbirth was out. 

“Oh, thank God it looks all in one piece.” Claire grabbed Jamie’s hand, “Help me sit down.” He helped her over to the blankets. She sat down on them and leaned against the wall. Jamie put the baby back to her breast. He looked back to Claire but her eyes were closed. Jamie didn’t say anything; he knew she deserved rest and hoped she could get some before the next baby was born.

The tiny little girl suckled at her Mother’s breast for a while then Jamie checked her over and saw she had 10 fingers and 10 toes and everything else one would expect. Her eyes were bright blue and the little hair she had was as red as Jamie’s. Jamie made the sign of the cross and thanked God again. She didn’t cry too much and she seemed very curious. 

Jamie went through the bag and took out what was likely meant to be a clout and put his daughter in it then wrapped her back up in the blanket. 

“Oh, you are a braw lassie.” Jamie whispered to her. He took the baby with him and went to find the bed he’d made and set it next to Claire with his infant daughter in it. The baby fell fast asleep.

Just then Claire stirred.

“Damn, Damn, Damn!” Claire got on all fours. “What the bloody hell!”

Jamie moved the baby bed away from Claire. He put his hand in the carafe again and checked Claire.

“I don’t feel the hede of the second bairn.” He looked only slightly alarmed but he was very scared on the inside. There was so much pain during childbirth and so much he didn’t know.

“It’s on my back, damn it hurts.” Claire got on all fours and was trying to move the babe away from her back. It didn’t seem to work.

Claire and Jamie stood up and she leaned against the rock. “What should I do, Sassenach?”

“No idea,” She grunted again and he saw both her hands were in fists. “I don’t even know what I should do.” Claire just started moving in different positions.

Jamie went over to their daughter and he saw her quietly looking around already having found her little fist and was sucking on it.. ‘ _ I have a daughter _ ’ kept going through his mind.

Claire was still naked except the blanket around her shoulders. Jamie saw the line of blood going down her leg and he pulled himself away from their daughter.

“Sassenach, you are bleeding.” He sounded calm which seemed crazy to him.

“What? Oh,” Claire looked at her leg,”It’s probably nothing.” She went back to her position trying to get the baby to move. She saw his face and explained,” Women bleed after childbirth, a little is normal.”

Jamie’s senses went on high alert. Claire was bleeding and he didn't know what was ‘a little’. It might even be normal but her childbirth wasn’t finished, there was another bairn. He picked her notes up but there was nothing on them about bleeding. He turned the last page to the back and read, “In the situation where there is a choice between myself and a baby, save the baby.” He looked up and was going to yell about what she had written when he saw her pale face.

“Claire, tell me how to help you!” Jamie grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him.

“It’s fine Jamie, it’s nature, it’s fine.” She’d wasn’t biting the belt and an even bigger tell of a problem was the lack of profanity. He was truly worried now.

“Claire, Claire!” he had to raise his voice to get her to look at him. “What can I do? I have to help you!” She was so white. 

Instead of moving around like she had with the first one she was swaying back and forth and grimacing when the pains came.

“Jamie” She said and was then silent. He was looking at her expectedly but she was quietly suffering through the contractions.

“I think you are going to have to cut me.” She was quiet after she said it, waiting for his questions.

“I willna! The first bairn was fine,” She grabbed his hand before he finished and she put it to her middle.

“Do you feel it?” She put his hand to her middle and moved it to her side where the baby lay. “It shouldn’t be up here.” She took a couple deep breaths through a contraction. “The pains are still hard and fast, this one is on my back and won’t move, it hasn’t moved. Something is wrong.”

"I willna cut ye Claire, I canna!” He held her to him and prayed for God to help.

“If you won’t get the baby I will. Where are my knives?” She took two steps forward to get to the pile of stuff from her bags and fell to her hands and knees.

“Dammit! Help me up please”Claire had felt the baby move during the fall. She held up her hand but cringed with another hard contraction and felt the baby move again. Jamie helped her up and his arms went around him.

Just then a gush of fluid went down Claire and Jamie’s leg. He looked at her and she was cautiously optimistic but also just exhausted.

Jamie wedged her against the rock again and put his hand back in the carafe. He inserted his middle finger inside the honeypot he loved so much.

“I feel a hede!”Jamie was overjoyed at that. He would not be in the position to wrestle a wee knife from his pregnant wife.

“Oh thank God” Claire whispered, she was exhausted and closed her eyes.

“Push Claire. With your next pain you have to push!” He was holding her hand, trying to rouse her.

“I can’t, Jamie. I’m so damn tired..” Claire was crying now and reached out for her husband. “I’m so sorry, you are the bravest man I know and look at me.”

Jamie took her hand and kissed her. “Are you kidding me? You travelled through rock - through ROCK! You are the bravest woman I know Claire Fraser!” He held her close.

Another pain came and he dunked his hands in the carafe again. He positioned himself where he was before and got the blankets ready.

“Are you ready to push?” Jamie handed Claire the belt.

She mustered everything she had, took the belt and got ready. The next pain came and she pushed.

He saw the head come out like before but it was facing the other way. Jamie wondered at that but thought it would be fine. His head had a bluish tint and when Jamie saw the neck he knew why; the cord was around it. He guided the tiny shoulder’s out out like before and moved the cord out from around his head as quickly as he could. 

“Stop pushing Sassenach! Jamie wrapped the baby with the blanket and Jamie cleaned the face off and rubbed the chest as he had his daughter.

The baby didn’t make a sound and Claire grew worried. She went to her knees and had Jamie lay the baby down. She had him sweep the mouth with his disinfected hands then she started CPR. It took less than thirty seconds and the tiny baby let out a piercing wail.

Claire had tears streaming down her pale face. “Oh God, it’s ok, they are both ok!” Claire was saying. Jamie fished the clamps out of the carafe and clamped the cord again. He cut the cord and gave his prayer of thanks.

“Did he have the cord wrapped around him?” She stroked the baby’s cheek and quieted him.

“Aye, it’s wee face had a tint of blue.” Jamie said as he cut the cord from the baby.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how long it was without air to the brain. He might be…”She paused, not knowing how to put it. “Affected.”

“I don’t care if it is affected, whate’er that means.” Jamie was waiting for the afterbirth but it hadn’t come yet.

“If it is affected it might be slow to learn.” Claire was still stroking the newest baby but on the arm now. 

“The bairns is not an it, boy or girl?” Jamie asked.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it be born.” She smiled at Jamie who opened up the blankets.

“It’s a boy Claire! We have one of each!” Jamie kissed her and took the baby. He talked to him in gaelic and was trying to decide on which gaelic story to tell first when he looked at Claire who had her eyes closed. “Claire!” He rubbed her hand trying to get a response. “Claire!” 

“Yes, what, yes.” Claire opened her eyes briefly. “I’m fine, I’m so tired.”

Her eyes fluttered closed. “His afterbirth has nae come. Can ye stand?” She nodded and got to all fours first then slowly, was able to stand. A line of blood was still coming down her leg. 

It took a few minutes but the afterbirth came, it was whole and they both breathed a sigh of relief. 

Jamie held his newborn son in one arm and and with the other got Claire over to the bed area. He made her drink some water and she closed her eyes. 

Jamie took the blanket Claire had put between her legs and replaced it with one of her cloths that looked like a clout. He used the blanket to lay on as only a little blood was on it and he could put that near his feet. He covered Claire up well and he moved to the front of the cave to look out.

He got to the cave’s entrance and to his astonishment it was dawn. The sun was coming up and it was beautiful. He hadn’t realized they had been at it all night. He turned around and saw Claire, she probably knew it took all night for the bairns to be born. They had been at this since yesterday, and if the back pain Claire was having was labor pains she had labored for two days. He shook his head at the amazing strength of women.

The boy was fussy and Jamie figured it was because he hadn’t been fed. Jamie held his son and uncovered Claire’s chest. He saw the breasts he enjoyed and sighed, knowing they were not for their pleasure for a while. He held his son’s face next to the nipple but he didn’t take the nipple he just fussed.

Claire opened her eyes and took her son in her arms and stroked her nipple along the baby’s cheek. He opened his mouth and was drinking in seconds. Claire let out a sigh and Jamie moved closer.

He wanted to tell her she was amazing, more beautiful than words had the power to express, and he thanked God many times a day for bringing her to his life. But he said nothing; he chose to let her rest. His son had drunk his fill and was falling asleep. Jamie took the baby and burped him. He got his son settled next to his sister in the bed and looked at his children for a long while. 

Jamie walked around and lay down next to Claire. He wrapped his arm around her and scooted in spoon style and he dozed off after a few more moments of prayer.

A few hours later Jamie woke in alert mode. He had a dirk in his hand and he moved toward the front of the cave to check the area but there was nothing. 

_ Cherk _

There it was again! He slowly moved to the back of the cave, but heard it again as he passed the crib and realized it was one of the babies.

“Good job scaring ye’r Da” He laughed into the crib and saw his daughter was awake. He put his dirk down and picked up the baby. “Today is yer birthday, November twenty third, in the year of our Lord seventeen hundred and forty six.” He kissed her forehead and she seemed to smile back at him.

“What do we call ye mo leannain?” The baby girl had a fist around Jamie’s finger and was making sucking noises.

“Brianna Ellen,” Claire said and sat up a bit. “She was born first and should be named after your parents. She held out her arms to take the baby to feed her.

“We have a boy to name Brian, why should we saddle a lass with Brianna?” Jamie asked as he watched her feed the wee lass.

“She was born first, and we can still name our son Brian.” The baby latched on and Claire closed her eyes with relief. “Can I get some water?” Claire wasn’t even finished asking when Jamie handed her the water jug.

“What about Brianna Ellen Julia Fraser?” Jamie looked at Claire who was looking at him.

“I think that would be perfect. Can I get a bannock please?” Jamie handed her one with a piece of cheese which she ate quickly.

“What do you think about Brian James Alexander Murtagh Fraser?” Claire asked while their daughter was finishing.

“I think that would be verra nice, thank ye Sassenach.” Jamie handed his wife some dried meat and took Brianna to burp while Claire ate it and picked up Brian to feed.

Both the babies were fed, burped and changed. Jamie sat down next to Claire. “Are you sure you don’t want to name him Henry, for your Father?”

“No, Brian and Brianna feel right. Maybe I will feel like naming the next child after my Father.” Jamie thought about her words and could not imagine Claire going through this again.

“Where are you going?” Jamie looked up to see her moving to the front of the cave.

“I have to pee.” Claire looked back at him.

“Don’t go out Sassenach, I have a bucket.” Jamie took her to the back of the cave and showed her the bucket that was thankfully clean.

He helped her and saw she seemed distressed.

“What is it?” Jamie was concerned that something was wrong from the birth.

“I am just wondering if you are ever going to want me again. You helped me through two births and the bleeding after, helping me nurse, helping me pee-”

“Sassenach, “ He paused and helped her clean herself. “I would have you now but that would make me a beast.”

“Jamie-” She started to tell him not to placate her but he lifted his kilt and she saw he was at half mast and growing.

“I love you.” She said trying to hold back tears in her eyes.

“I love ye too my Sassenach.” He helped her back to the bed area and she lay down again. She closed her eyes and was asleep in less than a minute.

He watched her for a minute and looked in on his children again.  _ My own bairns, thank ye God, this is truly a blessing, they are beautiful.  _ He finally left his children to sleep and mentally went through the food stores and wondered if he should go hunt. He thought Claire would need at least another day or, more likely, two before they could get out of the cave. There was extra food packed but Claire was very hungry and Jamie didn’t want to deny her. He waited until she was well asleep and gathered his weapons. He got out of the cave and covered up the entrance well to make sure no animals could get in. He knew he needed to bury the afterbirths as soon as he could to be sure not to draw animals.

He came back less than two hours later and had heard the crying almost a mile away. After he got in the cave he saw Claire trying to feed both the babies and was very frustrated. Jamie dropped his equipment and brought the already cooked rabbit to lay next to her. 

Jamie dunked his hands in the carafe and took a baby from her so Claire could focus on feeding one. He held it close and bounced him a bit.

“Did they both wake at the same time?” Jamie asked Claire.

“No. I woke them calling for you. No note, I had no idea what happened.” Claire knew she had no right to be upset with Jamie when he was off to get meat for them but she got worried when she woke and Jamie was gone. "And what the hell did I do to my hand?" She cradled it.

“You punched a rock during labor, and I wanted to be sure we had enough food.” Jamie answered, “And I don’t keep pen and paper in a cave.” Jamie had the black, curly haired Brian who had stopped fussing. He looked over at her hand and saw it was bruised but she was flexing it and nothing looked broken. 

“That's perfectly logical and you definitely look much better than I in that answer. I was just worried.” Claire’s voice had lowered considerably and she bent her head to watch Brianna who was happily sucking away.

They were silent for a while and Brianna finished and they switched babies. Jamie burped and changed his daughter and talked to her in gaelic.

“Would you please teach me?” Claire was still feeding Brian and saw how happy Jamie was speaking to his daughter in his native language.

“Of course I will, but you know enough to get you by.” Brianna had fallen asleep and Jamie lay her down.

“I want to know more than that, I want all four of us to be able to understand it.” Brian had finished and Claire was burping him. 

“Here is your first lesson, cadel Sassenach.” Jamie smiled at her.

“What does that mean?”

“Sleep, mo chridhe, it means sleep.” Jamie took Brian and helped her to settle.

Another two days passed in a similar way; the babies were fed by Claire and burped and changed by Jamie. He buried the afterbirth that first day after Claire said it was okay. Jamie woke Claire in the morning before he went hunting and he brought something back everyday to add to their diet. Claire was impressed at the greens he brought back the second day and thanked Jamie for thinking of them.

On the third day Jamie had another cooked rabbit and he and Claire were eating it.

“I was thinking about going to Lallybrook to see if they can bring the wagon to meet us later today. I’m pretty sure the redcoats are gone.” Jamie paused to wait for her reaction.

It would be great to get out of the cave. The clouts had ran out and they had to wash and hang them. Food was getting low and Claire still felt as hungry as when she was pregnant. It was nice in a way though; the whole world was the four of them. Claire had Jamie all day.

“What about tomorrow? Would that be okay?” Claire asked.

Jamie smiled at her and didn’t think he would mind another day either.

“That’s fine. I will go to Lallybroch tomorrow morning Sassenach.” Jamie would miss being with his family all day and he would gladly put it off for a day or a week if it was safe. Claire needed the house though; Jenny would help her with the bairns and she could sleep better.


	6. Claire has to use penicillin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's on one of the babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

Jamie woke early and was going to hunt when he realized Claire was already up. She was sitting up holding Brian and crying.

“Sassenach, what is it?” Jamie asked..

“I have to go back.” Claire whispered and shuddered as she imagined going through those blasted rocks again.

“What are you talking about?” Jamie was truly alarmed now. She was holding Brian and looking at Brianna.

Claire beckoned Jamie over and laid Brian next to his sister. “Put one hand on each of their chests.”

He did it and noticed the difference. “Brian’s breath comes faster than Brianna’s. That-” Jamie was going to add it seemed normal that bairnes are different but Claire cut him off.

“Put your ear on each of their chests and listen.” Claire told Jamie as she continued to look at her babies.

He did it and noticed the difference. “Why does he sound different?”

“There is fluid in his lungs.” She said the last in a sob and paused, “ I can only guess, but I think it had something to do with the cord around his neck. I don’t think his lungs were emptied and now there is water in his lungs.” A silent tear ran down Claire’s face as she spoke.

Jamie took Claire’s hand and looked from her to his babies. “I’ve heard of pneumonia, what is the cure in ye’re time?”

“There is no absolute cure, but the treatment is penicillin.” Claire answered as she thought of her tiny baby going through the stones and again felt guilty for not having the children in her time. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it until now. I was so tired-” Claire started to cry again.

“No.” Jamie cut her off abruptly. “It is not your fault Sassenach, and you saw it now. You brought your peni-cillian in one of your bags right?” Jamie asked, remembering her bottles and needles.

Claire looked up, “Yes, but I don’t know the dose.”

“Is it in one of ye’re books in the priest hole?” Jamie asked. His blood was pumping and he was spurred to action. He would not lose his son, his daughter, or his wife.

Claire stood up catching his attitude and answered, “It might be, I’m not sure. But I do know a child dose based on weight, if I figure…” Jamie didn’t hear the rest of her plans as he got dressed and ready.

“Where are you going?” Claire looked up from her muttering.  
“Home, I’m bringing back the wagon and Fergus.” Jamie was putting his shoes on.

“Why don’t I just come with you?” Claire asked as she picked up Brianna who was starting to fuss.

“Because you shouldn’t be walking all that way right now,” Jamie stood up and waited for her to argue.

Claire started to argue but stopped herself. “Okay. How long do you think it will take?”

Jamie paused for a minute making sure she really was alright. It was so odd for Claire not to be stubborn. “I will be back in around four hours, eat Sassenach, and try to rest.” He kissed her and held her to him.

Then he was off.

Claire stroked Brianna’s cheek and opened her gown to feed the baby and start the feed, burp, cuddle and talk then change the clout routine before the baby fell back asleep.

***

Jamie got down the hill and was walking along his trap line which led towards the road when he heard talking. Jamie froze and ducked down into the weeds. He waited a few minutes to determine which way the voices were going. Damn, it seemed to come in his direction! He squatted lower and back into the bushes to wait. It sounded like only two men and one sounded much older than the other. Suddenly Jamie stood up, that was Fergus! Who was he leading to the cave? Jamie had a dirk in each hand.

Just then a deer brushed up against Jamie’s leg. He turned slowly and saw her. Jamie hoped the deer was a sign from the Almighty that his son would be safe and Claire didn’t have to take him back to her time. “Aye, we see what we want don’t we?” He whispered to the deer. “Off wit’ ye now, before I decide I do have enough time to put you on the dinner table.” The deer scurried away.

He didn’t have eyes on the lad yet but he knew the voice was Fergus’s. Jamie waited.

Within minutes Fergus was in view and Jamie lowered back into the bush. He waited to see who was with him.

Jamie jumped out of the bushes, “Murtagh!” he said and went to hug the man.

Murtagh had grabbed his blade at the surprise but soon sheathed it. “Aye Jamie, ye’re a sight for sore eyes ye are!” Murtagh and Jamie hugged. The three talked briefly and after a minute or two Jamie asked Fergus if he could go back to get the wagon.

“I have it, it’s on the road. Do you want to see milady? The redcoats are gone.” Fergus asked.

“Claire is alright?” Murtagh asked

“Aye, and she is in my cave.” Jamie was going to add she needed to get back to the house as soon as possible but Fergus interrupted.  
“Why is milady with you?” Murtagh turned questioning eyes on Fergus for asking this question.

“We can explain it later, come with me.” Jamie said and led the others to the cave. 

Jamie and Murtagh talked all the way there, until they started going uphill. Murtagh was out of breath quickly.

They made it to the front of the cave and Jamie moved the branches back to enter. Claire stood up and said, “Murtagh! Fergus found you!” She hugged the man before quickly realizing she was still only in her shift.

Jamie had their visitors turn and Claire dressed quickly. When she was finished Jamie cleared his throat and picked up both children and said, “May I introduce Brianna Ellen Julia Fraser and Brian James Alexander Murtagh Fraser.”

Murtagh looked at Jamie and Claire and was so touched he couldn’t speak.

“The babies are beautiful milady.” Fergus said from behind Murtagh.

“Thank you Fergus.” Claire said and smiled at him.

Murtagh looked at Claire and spoke volumes in no words.

Murtagh looked at Jamie, “Ye loocky man, bairns of ye own.” Murtagh waited until Jamie put the babies down and hugged and congratulated them both. A moment passed then Murtagh said, “Weel, we hav’ get ye and the bairns movin” 

“Sassenach, ye hold our bairns and I will pack. The wagon is at the road.” Jamie handed her the babies.

“How did you get it so quickly?” Claire asked as she took Brianna from him.

“Ok,” Murtagh had recovered. “Claire will carry a bairn an’ Jamie will carry a bairn. The lad and I will get ye’re things. Ye two start out, ye will be slow.” He took a bag from the floor and started packing it in a sweeping motion.

Claire knew time was important so she gave Brianna and an extra blanket to Jamie and wrapped another blanket around Brian.

The odd party made it out of the cave and down the hill. Jamie explained to Claire he ran across Murtagh and Fergus on the way. Claire explained to Fergus and Murtagh why she was in the cave. Fergus explained that while he was looking for Jamie’s list of people who were at Culloden he knew Murtagh was the most important and had been focused on him.

They made it back to the wagon and Jamie and Murtagh were hidden in the wagon. Claire held the babies and Fergus drove. 

Several stops were made to feed and take care of the babies and it was nightfall by the time they were at Lallybroch. Fergus went around to the barn without stopping. When he and Claire got out, they verified the coast was clear and Jamie and Murtagh got out of the back. 

The little group, laden with bags or babies went into the house where Jenny and Ian were waiting. They had thought only Fergus would be arriving. 

“Murtagh!” Jenny hugged the man and gave orders to the staff to get a room and a hot bath ready for him.

“Are ye okay?” Jenny took Brian from Claire and they walked into the parlor with Claire telling the birth story.

Afterwards Claire got up to go look through a medical book she'd brought but she was hungry, tired and sore. Maybe she could get a few lours sleep and get to it on a fresher mind.

The babies were put to sleep in Claire’s room in the bed Jamie had made and Fergus carried from the wagon. Then the four ate and all were ravenous. Jenny and Ian had a dram of whiskey and listened.

Murtagh had been hurt badly at Culloden but he wasn’t killed. He slowly healed in a dark shed where he missed Claire’s healing very much. He found his life was spared so he could be a slave at a redcoat encampment in the south. He was kept chained to three other men all the time. They worked, ate, slept and everything else together. After he found out Fergus was looking for him a plan was brought together and Murtagh escaped. Before he found out about Fergus, Murtagh thought Jamie and Claire were dead. 

“I thought the orders were to kill all the Scottish soldiers who fought against the damn english, present company excluded Claire.” Jenny said.

Jamie told the story of how he was saved and Murtagh crossed himself and called a lucky bastard.

Claire had been quiet most of the evening. She ate a lot and drank 3 cups of water but didn’t say much. Jenny looked at her sister and saw Claire asleep in the chair. 

“Bed.” Jenny announced and stood up. “Ye have a bath ready for ye in ye room ye ole’ codger, and Claire will have one tomorrow morning.” 

“I’m grateful, but is it safe to sleep in the house?” Murtagh asked with a bannock in each hand.

“I will show ye the priest holes.” Ian stood and nodded to Murtagh. “There is a small room, then a hidden door and another small room. If the redcoats find the priest hole they will see it empty because ye will be in the second room.”

Everyone made it to bed and it was a quiet night, with the exception of newborn cries.

**********

Jamie had woken for the two nighttime feedings. He did the burping and the changing while Claire did the feeding. The last time he woke the sun was already up and Claire was sitting on one of the blue chairs reading and feeding her son.

Jamie was going to dress but he sat there watching Claire.

“Good morning.” Claire managed to smile but Jamie saw worry all over her face. He adjusted the way he was sitting because his cock had a mind of its own and now wasn’t the time.

“Aye, good morning Sassenach. What have ye foound?” Jamie nodded to the book she was reading and knew it was about doctoring.

“I think I can calculate the right dose if I can get his exact weight.” Claire said dubiously. 

“Aye, I can do that.” Jamie sounded confident.

“How?” Claire was still doubtful.

“When ye’re finished with the bairn, give him to me. We have a scale in the barn for packing goods.” Jamie said and got up to get dressed.

“What unit of measurement is used?” Claire asked.

Jamie paused, thinking…”I can convert it to stone, tis fine Sassenach.” He waited till his son was burped and took him outside.

Claire put some clothes on and looked through her supplies and got everything ready to administer a shot of penicillin to Brian. She also had a plain notebook started; it was usually doctors who kept case notes and nurses contributed to them but this time Claire would perform both roles.

Jamie came back with Brian and reported, “Exactly forty percent of 1 stone.” Jamie announced proudly. Claire did a quick calculation in her head.  
“Okay, 2.540 kilograms” Claire wrote down the result and checked the calculation on paper. She came up with the same then calculated the amount of penicillin.

Jamie stood for a moment,”Kill o’ gam? What is that?”

“I promise you I know what I am doing, I will explain it later.” Claire said and waited for Jamie’s answer.

“Aye.” Jamie said, gave her a look of confidence and bounced Brian a bit as he got fussy.

Claire drew the penicillin into the smallest syringe she had and beckoned Jamie who didn’t move.

“Are ye going to stick our bairn with that pointy thing?” Jamie asked.

“This pointy thing is the method to deliver the penicillin, please trust me.” Jamie nodded and brought Brian over to Claire who administered the shot.

Brian let out a scream the likes they hadn’t heard. Claire put him inside her shift and it only took a minute for the skin to skin contact to help him calm a bit.

Claire talked about the calculations and administration of the penicillin. She talked about the advanced science there was in her time to emphasize that while there may not be a cure, the treatment is easier. She wanted to be ready to go to the stones if Brian got worse.

“I understand we will do what needs to be done to save our bairns’ life, but right now I canna imagine ye going through that again.” Jamie held Claire’s hand and kissed her gently.

There was a knock at the door and it was Jenny and the staff to bring in a tub.

“Jamie, I love ye, so get Murtagh and be gone for the day. Claire, give me the bairns so ye can bathe.” Jenny held her arms out to get the babies. 

“Thank you Jenny, I just fed both of them.” Claire was handing her children to Jenny.

“Which one is the screamer?” Jenny looked at the babies in her arms and her expression softened.

“That was Brian, and I will explain it later.” Claire replied.

“Are ye’ calling him Brian?” Jenny directed her question to Jamie.

“Aye, I know.” He looked at the baby in question then looked at each other.

“Alexander?” They asked each other in unison then looked at Claire

“What?” Claire was baffled.

“I will explain it to her, go!” Jenny watched as Jammie kissed Claire and said his goodbye. She looked at the tub and saw it was full. “Do ye need help Claire?”

“No, what about-” Claire got cut off.

“We will talk later, take ye’re bath and come down to eat. Ye’re bairns will be in the kitchen with me.” Jenny turned and left.

Claire looked around and realized she hadn’t been alone since her hotel room days back in her time. She closed the door after Jenny left and used one of her few tampons she’d brought back from her time. She was still very sore and wouldn’t normally have used one so soon after birth but she also didn’t want to bath while bleeding.

The bath was hot and wonderful. Claire felt very relaxed and if it wasn’t for the ‘Alexander’ thing with Jamie and Janny Claire might’ve fallen asleep.

Claire got dressed and went to the kitchen. The sight that greeted her was Jenny holding Brian and Brianna, wee Jamie asking her something, little Maggie sitting on her foot and baby Katherine was sitting on the counter holding Jenny’s breast and nursing.

Claire didn’t laugh. There was something inside her that found the site funny, but it was also a picture of women in this time; being pulled too many ways.

“Jamie eat your breakfast. If you are quiet your Auntie Claire will give you a cookie.” Claire said as she walked in and picked up little Maggie. 

“Mrs. Crook?” Claire called.

“Yes.” She answered so suddenly Claire wondered why the woman hadn’t been helping.

“Little Maggie needs a clean clout please.” Claire deposited the little girls in Mrs. Crook's arms.

Claire turned back around and looked at Jenny smiling at her while she said, “Ye’d have doon just fine if ye’d had the running of the house.”

Claire took Brian and Brianna from her and lay them in their bed Fergus had brought from the bedroom. “If you say so, let's just be glad we don’t have to put that to the test.” Claire said and smiled at Jenny.

Claire ate breakfast and drank the cow milk she'd requested the day before. Jenny still gave her an odd look even though Claire had explained about the nutritional value.

“May I have a full bucket for dinner?” Claire had asked Ian yesterday if he could arrange it.

“Aye, but I don’t know what ye mean to be doing with it.” Jenny said and shook her head.

Claire thought about the big bag of chocolate powder for milk and just smiled. “You’ll see.”

Claire shifted the conversation to the comments about the name of her son. 

Jenny looked at her for a long moment.

“I ken ye is not from these parts in more ways than one, and ye won’t take to this either because it isna grounded in ye’re logic but know this Claire, if ye’re bairn is called after a dead man before the bairn has a chance to choose it, the dead man whose name he took is disturbed in their rest. Brian can always be part of his name but it canna be what he’s called before he’s picked it ye ken?” Jenny looked at her still, and Claire saw she was in earnest.

“Alright. So Alexander, Alex. I can live with that, it will save me from getting the Br mixed up between Brian and Brianna.” Claire said and still had ‘Alex not Brian’ going through her head.

“About ye ‘ _Bree Anna_ ’...” Jenny said as she dislodged Katherine from her breast and picked her up to burp.

Claire took a silent breath to calm herself. “What about her name?” Claire asked. She had a bowl of parritch and put a large spoonful in her mouth to keep her from saying anything too quickly in reply.

  
“Weel, it’s like this, _Bree Anna_ sounds like a disturbing Anna. If ye say it as _Bree In Nah_ it just sounds like an interesting name, ya’ken?” Jenny explained.

Claire had repeated Bree In Nah several times in her head and really liked it. As much as she wanted to protest Claire knew the right thing was to move on; she had more important things to worry about, like Brian’s -excuse me- Alexander’s health. 

“Okay, I like _Bree In Nah_ thanks for letting me know.” Claire said then kept eating.

Jenny turned around and eyed Claire suspiciously. “I’m telling ye that ye are saying ye’re own bairn’s name wrong and ye donna argue with me?” Jenny put Katherine in her seat with her toy and sat down across the table from Claire. “What’s going on?”


	7. Cows, goats, pigs and chickens oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly about Claire and Jamie's son, and the goings on in a house. Nothing big happens but I wanted to show Jenny. I think if Claire could've stayed longer Jenny would've softened a bit around the edges. Jenny lived through so much loss then had to care for the house at a young age. Maybe it is wishful thinking but... well, read on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander and the characters.  
> I love the characters and like to play what if's.

“What’s going on?” Jenny repeated and Claire held her face in her hands. Claire chanted quietly to herself for a moment. _Be strong._ _Be strong. Be strong._ She sighed and put her hands down and stood tall. “The best way is to show you as I did Jamie.” Claire said. She took Jenny to the cradle where the twins were and had her feel their breath rates and listen to their tiny lungs.

“What is it? Can ye use ye’re healing to fix it?” Jenny asked Claire with worry in her eyes.

“I don’t know.” Claire’s eyes rested on the babies. She continued, “My first thought was to go back home,” She paused because Jenny had gasped, “But there is no cure for pneumonia, only treatment which I have with me.” Claire stood with worried eyes on her newborns. Jenny had her eyes on Claire. Jenny closed her eyes and said a quick prayer of recovery for the wane. 

Then she took Claire’s hand and in an excited voice said “I have an idea, and I hope ye agree with me.” Jenny left the room and came back with a small pouch.

“Come sister” Jenny went to the table and poured the contents of the pouch on the table.

Claire took a seat opposite her and saw coins dumped out on the table. “What’s that?”

“Ian divided the coins ye gave us into four purses and we hid each purse. This is one of them and this is how I think we should use it.” Jenny divided the coins up in small piles as she talked. It was a good plan, and it went like this:

~A small bonus to Mrs. Macnab, she’d been home all week because Rabbie was sick and a healer had been fetched. She was a good kitchen maid and Jenny liked her.

~A bit larger pile was going to be a bonus for Mrs. Crook and wages for a new person Jenny already had in mind to take Mrs. Crook’s place 3 days a week until the spring. Jenny was going to tell Mrs. Crook it was only until spring, her pay would stay the same and it was really because the other woman needed work. Jenny was telling the new women it was because Mrs. Crook needed a little rest. All of the reasons were true.

~Two smaller piles of equal size were wages for two girls, around fourteen or fifteen to be housemaids four days a week. Jenny explained this would help the families of both girls and they would help with chores and childcare.

“Jenny, I can pull my own weight, I can do chores and care for my own children.” Claire stood up from the table taking this as an insult.

As luck would have it Mrs. Crook came around the corner holding little Maggie. Jenny took the baby and asked her to get the laundry started. She waited till the woman left and turned back to Claire.

“Sister, ye dinna ken what I meant, sit.” Claire sat down and Jenny poured each of them a cup of the precious tea Claire had bought from Inverness. It was weak but delicious; Jenny wanted to enjoy it as long as possible. Jenny sat back down too.

Claire had set to her jaw and looked like she was ready to set off to prove herself. Jenny took a breath, “Claire, sister, listen, ye always did pull ye’re own weight, and ye did the healing.” Jenny took a sip of tea and saw Claire calm down a bit.

“I’m sorry Jenny, I hurt from the birth still and I know there is so much to do and I want to stay here.” Claire looked back at the table. “You are so good at everything, sometimes I feel-” Claire was saying but Jenny cut her off.

“Claire, I ken, ye had a different job and I would feel what ye do if I had to do ye’re job. It’s ok. This is ye’re home, ye dinna have to buy ye’re way in with money or chores.” Jenny paused here to look Claire in the eye so hopefully Claire would understand. “If we use this money to hire people it will help keep others from going hungry and we can use our time for other things, like healing ye’re bairn and recovering! Do ye agree?” Jenny was holding one of Claire’s hands and looking at her with fierce love and Claire smiled.

“Thank you Jenny, it all sounds great. How do we do it?” Claire asked.

“I’m going to put ye’re cradle on a rug and move it into your room. You spend today resting and taking care of ye’re bairns. I’ll tell Mrs. Crook to get dinner going and wait on the rest of the laundry. I’m leaving wee Maggie with Mrs. Crook, then I’ll go out to get our plan started.” Jenny said and stood up.

“Any plan for the rest?” Claire asked and looked at the small pile of coins that were left in the middle of the table.

“Weel, I was going to see if anyone had any animals for sale. Pigs, cows or goats. If we can afford more food I’m getting it.” Jenny was smiling as she said this. 

~~~

Hours later Claire woke up to the baby's wailing. She got up and started to change Brianna when Mrs. Crook knocked and Claire called to come in. Mrs. Crook came into her room, picked up Alex and neatly and quickly changed his clout. She picked up the previous dirty clout, waited for Claire to finish and took the clout with her and never spoke a word. Claire thought about the last time she had been at Lallybroch...yes, Mrs. Crook was a quiet woman. 

The twins were changed, fed and lay on the bed looking at the world. Mrs. Crook knocked on the door again.

“Yes Mrs. Crook?” Claire asked

“Aye, I brought ye some stew and ale.” Mrs. Crook sat the tray on the small desk.

“Thank you, it smells delicious.” Claire replied.

Mrs. Crook paused by the beds looking at the babies. “Ye baptized ye’re bairns yet?”

“No, I have no idea where to find a priest.” Claire replied.

“Ye a healer, a Howdy, ye can do a temporary baptism to protect them from changelings.” Mrs. Crook was looking at her as she spoke.

“A Howdy? I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the term.” Claire was feeling a little judged but she tried to forget it before it showed on her face.

“Howdie, a handy woman, a midwife.” The older women explained.

“Oh, ok, thank you Mrs. Crook, I will consider the baptism.” Claire smiled at Mrs. Crook and smiled even more when the woman nodded her head and left the room.

“What do we think, hmmm?” Claire said in that soft singsong voice you use when speaking to infants. “Shall we ask for God’s blessings?” Claire did her check to see if either had a fever and looked in each one of their mouths. Everything looked fine and neither had a fever. Claire was watching Alex breath and thought maybe it was coming a little easier…?

_Get over it Beauchamp, you just want it to be better._

Claire got her little book and checked the time then recorded the date and time to start her notes. _Brian_ -Jesus H- _Alex has no blue fingertips and lips are a red color._ He was better! She read what she'd written the day before and his pinkie fingers had been just a bit blue. 

Claire put her pen down because her hands were shaking. She walked over to her bed and kneeled, thanking God.

Claire got her reporting done then ate everything on the tray that Mrs. Crook had brought. She’d said it was stew and ale but there was also a hunk of bread, several slices of cheese and ham and an apple. It was delicious!

Claire finished everything, then laid down for another nap.

Hours later Claire awakens with Jamie kissing her neck.

“Mmmm.” Claire moaned a bit.

Jamie felt an immediate stirring in his cock at her moan, He stood up and kissed her hand.

“Sassenach, it’s dinner time for our bairns and then us.” Jamie whispered.

Claire immediately sat up thinking of her babies. They were laying right next to her trying to find their hands to suck. She sat up and kissed Jamie.

“Hi, how was your day?” Claire asked as she pulled down the top of her dress and was trying to hold a baby in each arm. Jamie helped so Claire had a baby on each breast.

“Nothing in my day was as good as this moment right now,” Jamie smiled and continued to watch Claire feed their bairns from her body. _Women were truly a gift from God_ Jamie was thinking. Claire was looking at him thinking the same, without the Wo.

Claire told Jamie about Alex’s hands and said he was likely going to be just fine very soon. Jamie thanked God for that blessing just as Claire had done. Only in Latin.

The bairns were fed and changed. Jamie was honing his skill at burping, but he was a little reluctant to change Bri-Alex because of “he pees every time I change him”. 

The second cradle had been finished that day and Jamie told her about swimming that day.

“Swimming! Jamie, it’s November!” Claire said with disapproval.

“I ken! It was more a wild bath with some horseplay. Murtagh is skin and bones.” Jamie finished sadly.

“Yes, I noticed, but we can feed him up.” Claire smiled at Jamie to relieve his concern.

Claire gave Alex another shot of penicillin before they went to dinner. They were a little late because the infant was very tired of the shots and seemed to get louder with each one.

At dinner Claire noticed Murtagh did smell considerably better. After all the food was brought out the table almost groaned again.

“This is ye’re table every night?” Murtagh asked Jenny.

“It didn’t used to be, Claire brought a lot to us.” Jenny said and winked at Claire.

“Weel, I thank ye both, this is more food than I saw in a week.” Murtagh smiled.

Claire excused herself to go to the kitchen and bring in the chocolate milk she’d made earlier with her bucket of cow’s milk. Everyone was hesitant to try it, but once they did everyone enjoyed it.

“Speaking of what Claire brought to us, a few things are changing.” Jenny told everyone about the two new girls coming to help out. The seamstress was staying until Christmas and Murtagh was getting new clothes next so Claire was to take his measurements before bed, but adding a bit because of the plan to feed him up. Mrs. Crook was taking the three days off a week and was happy to give work to someone else. The temporary woman was Mrs. Barr and she would be here for a week with Mrs. Crook to get used to the work and Mrs. McNab would be back in a few days.

“It sounds good, I’m glad we can give more people work.” Ian said.

“I hope ye’re still glad tomorrow.” Jenny said and took a bite of the squash.

Ian put his fork down and looked at his wife. “Why?”

“Because four cows, six goats, and twelve pigs are getting here.” Jenny said and smiled at her husband.

Jamie and Murtagh both let out a little gasp.

“Wife, where will I put this stock?” Ian asked with a bit of panic.

“The barn is repaired, why not there? Also some chickens, eight or twelve I think.” Jenny smiled and kept eating. “And, everyone delivering the animals will be staying the night, in the dooryard,” Jenny added when Jamie and Murtagh stopped eating to look at her. “So I figured we’d cook up three or four chickens and serve them with potatoes and squash.” Jenny winked at Claire.

“Murtagh, please eat. We need to feed you up.” Claire said kindly to Murtagh who’d not picked his fork back up.

Murtagh laughed a bit and said to Jamie, “If we stay up tonight we could build...I dinna ken, something to help give the new stock shelter. “ He took another bite as Jamie nodded.

Ian added, “ I’ll help.” 

It was at this point Jenny said, “Great idea! I have hired four men to come tonight to help ye. I gave them some food, but ye’re to give them the coin after the work is done,” Jenny signaled for more wine and Mrs. Crook came in with a wide smile. No doubt she’d been listening to this exchange.

Ian, Jamie and Murtagh all looked at each other. It was silently decided to not say anything.

“Where are wee Jamie and Fergus?” Murtagh asked.

Mrs. Crook answered, “They were fed and sent up to nap so they can help tonight.”

Ian looked at his wife but didn’t say anything.

And so it was a long night ahead. Claire took Murtagh’s measurements for the seamstress then she said goodnight. Jenny and Claire slept so they could care for the bairns the next day. Jamie and Murtagh came up with fake names to give the men who came to help. Thankfully Jenny had chosen four men Jamie and Murtagh had never met.

The seven men built a three sided shelter. It was well built even though it was constructed at night. Ian could get the fourth wall built within the week. Wee Jamie and Fergus kept three fires burning so they’d have heat and light. They also did the running to the kitchen to get coffee and food Mrs. Crook had left out. 

In the morning they all had breakfast together with the family except for Jamie and Claire. They were eating a private breakfast in their bedroom.

Jamie washed and then went to their bedroom and sat by the fire watching Claire feed their bairns.

“I don’t think I will ever get tired of that sight.” Jamie said in a soft voice. As tired as he was he felt his cock harden just by watching.

Claire’s cheeks got a little pink. She decided to talk about the bairns to keep them in ‘safe’ territory.

“Alex is even better this morning. He’s eating more. It’s slow but I think he’ll be fine.” Claire said with quiet hope in her voice.

“How much longer does he take the pointy thing?” Jamie asked while burping Brianna.

“At least three more days.” Claire said and Jamie nodded. “I was thinking about something else…” Claire let that trail off gathering her courage.

“Speak Sassenach.” Jamie said firmly.

“If I had to take one of the children back to my time, if they need something we can’t give them, they don’t have birth certificates or-” Jamie cut her off.

“What’s a birth certificate?”

“It establishes when and where a person was born.”

“Can’t they tell you when and where they were born.” 

Claire sighed. This was another one of those issues that made no sense to someone from this time.

“Do ye want to go back?” Jamie asked quietly.

“No, of course not.” Claire said and Jamie let the breath out he was holding. “What I want to do is write a letter and leave it buried by the starting stone for the druids.”

“At Craigh na dun?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, it’s my best chance at getting word to Mrs. Graham. She can get word to Frank and he will do what I ask.” Claire said quickly, glad to have her plan out.

“What is it ye want Frank to do?” Jamie asked with a fire starting in his eyes.

“You’re not going to like it.” Claire warned.

“I already dinna like it.” Jamie replied.

“If Brianna or Alex ever have any severe illness or something that I have to go through the stones to cure then they need an identity. Frank can give them an identity.” Claire hoped he wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“That sounds fine. But there is something about this ye’re keeping from me, what is it?” Jamie was looking in her eyes now and she came clean.

“Frank will have to claim them as his children.” Claire said and felt relieved.

“Hmm.” Jamie made the noise all Scots know how to make. “Weel, I dinna like it Sassenach, but that was the original plan. I ken it makes sense.” Jamie answered.

“That means give them his name.” Claire said to be sure it was clear.

“I ken.” Jamie almost growled.

Claire let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“Oh, thank you Jamie. Will you take it and bury it by the stones?” Claire asked as she was already thinking about what to write.

“Aye, Murtagh and I can set off tonight after dinner and be back in a few days' time.” Jamie replied and yawed. 

Claire felt relieved, but then froze and thought about Jamie and Murtagh gone, “Is it a dangerous trip for you?”

“Dinna fash Sassenach. We sleep in the day and travel at night. I’ve made the trip to Inverness a few times since Culloden.”

Jamie kissed his wife, then his babes, then his wife again. “Write ye’re letter and draw a map of which stone to bury it under.” Jamie kissed his wife once more then lay on their bed that was still warm. He watched his wife get dressed then got up to move the beds when she started to leave the room. Jamie went back to the bedroom, closed the door, and was asleep in minutes.

Jenny was up and set up in the dooryard doing laundry so she was available when people started delivering the stock she’d bought. She’s already set up bags of potatoes to give them so more people could grow them. She also had spinach for them, but this was from Claire and unlikely to catch on. Jenny understood why Claire knew these things so she trusted her, but her countrymen would not trust a stranger, let alone a Sassenach. Claire was to stay in today and Jenny was staying outside. The spinach and potato recommendations were to look like they came from Jenny.

Claire had moved herself and her children to the dining room and started her letter.

 _To Mrs. Violet Graham_ _The Year of our Lord nineteen hundred and forty eight._

_Violet, I am happy to be writing to you, I hope you get this but I know it is a long shot. The thought of you makes me smile. I made it, I’m here. And it’s so beautiful and everything I needed. I do miss you and our weekly tea._

_I hope Roger is doing well and has no ill effects. He was such a good boy._

_I gave birth and my twins are mostly healthy. Brianna Ellen Julia and Brian James Alexander Murtagh were born in the highlands on November twenty third. They are both beautiful but Brian has a whistling wheeze I am treating._

_I have a big favor to ask. Would you please let Frank know? I am hoping he will record their births in case I need to bring them back for medical reasons._

_I wish you were here Violet, I miss you._

_With much love_

_CF_

Claire brushed her tears away. She really did miss Violet; she’d been the only real friend Claire had in the twentieth century. Claire was still deep in her thoughts when Alex started fussing. Claire put down her quill and picked up her son.

“Are you hungry already?” Claire said as she picked him up and automatically felt his forehead for fever. He was a little warm but likely from his aggravation as he was acting like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. She opened her dress and pulled out her aching breast for him. Claire had to keep waking him as he ate greedily for a few minutes then fell asleep. His clout wasn’t wet but Claire reminded herself he’d been changed not that long ago. When he was nursing she wondered when she would stop worrying… probably never.

Once he was burped she wandered into the kitchen carrying him and got some goat milk to drink and spoke a bit with Mrs. Crook. She seemed to be looking forward to her days off; she told Claire about the things she planned to do and the people she was going to visit.

Claire wandered back to the dining room and saw her sleeping daughter. Just as she was thinking she could do it herself Ian wandered in to get something more to eat before he went to sleep. He moved the beds back to her room and Claire brought her letter. She took her dress off and lay down in her shift. Jamie had his dirk in his hand but he smelled his wife and relaxed. She lay down and Jamie rolled over and wrapped an arm around her as they spooned. Claire fell promptly asleep. 

A few hours later the twins were awake to nurse and get changed. Jamie woke up and changed the clouts and burped them. He was so happy just to watch his wife nurse his children and have a job to do so he could help Claire. 

The day was fruitful and Jenny did well. At dinner Jenny told them about what transpired and how she also got an extra goat, and bags of vegetables. Claire was able to report Alex was doing much better and she expected him to be healed within a week. Fergus and wee Jamie had trouble sitting still and were playing at the table. Jenny punished them by assigning them to take their dinner with the children for a week. Fergus balked and looked at Claire who just shook her head no.

When dinner was over and night caps were drunk it was bedtime. Claire kissed Fergus on the forehead as she had gotten used to doing. Murtagh went to the kitchen to get the packed bag of food for the trip to the stones. Claire, Jamie and their babies went to their room. 

Claire had also made a map of the stones so Jamie knew which one to bury her letter to Violet under. Jamie helped her seal it and wrap it in waxed paper so it would have a chance of making it. She handed both to him. “Please be safe. If it is too dangerous just come back, it’s not that important to do right now.” Claire said.

“Dinna fash Sassenach, I will be fine. I will see you in a few days.” Jamie said and kissed Claire for a long moment. “Are you sure Alex is getting better?”

“Yes, everything seems- why?” Claire asked suspiciously 

“Sassenach, I dinna want to leave if there is the smallest chance… he is only 4 days old...” Jamie couldn’t complete the sentence.

“He is going to be fine. He is better every day, just come back safely so he has a father.” Claire kissed her husband. It was a long kiss that roused Jamie. He put his arms around Claire and just enjoyed holding her. She smelled so good, like flowers and babies and that sweet smell that was her milk.

“You know,” Claire whispered in his ear, “ I can’t wait for you to be inside me.” Jamie held her tighter and she heard the low growl. 

“I canna wait either Sassenach, we will be up all night when you are well.” Jamie said and took her mouth in a powerful kiss. “How long will it be?” He whispered.

“Four to six weeks after birth, depending on different things.” Claire said.

“Four to six weeks?” Jamie had taken a step back and said this loudly in astonishment.

There was an irksome giggle at the door and they both turned to see Jenny. “I can see how it is between ye two, I hope it is closer to four weeks to keep ye both sane.” She walked away laughing.

Jamie and Murtagh set off that night and made it safely to the stones in a few days. They buried the note and turned towards home. They had plenty of food and in the week they were gone Murtagh and Jamie also hunted to be sure they would continue their large meals. It felt good to them to be living rough and hunting food; gave them a sense of their old selves. It was a time of healing for Murtagh.

On the sixth day they were camped about 5 miles from Lallybroch. It was high noon and Jamie woke from the light and saw Murtagh was already up. He was a few feet up a tree and gave Jamie the signal to be quiet and get down. Fearing redcoats he did and drew his weapons.

Jamie heard the men, about 12 feet away. They were casually talking and peeing.

“Have you heard anything about the way she looks? Having twins must take it out of a woman, they are weak to begin with.” The older man shoved the younger man a bit and laughed.

“I don’t care how weak she is, she had twins, Father, she’s English and she looked nice and heavy. I don’t want a wispy wife.” The younger man replied. Jamie’s ears cocked in at twins, English and heavy. A few years ago Claire would’ve been described as healthy but since everyone was starving or close to it opinions changed.

Jamie looked at Murtagh but he shook his head. So there was no sign of Claire. Jamie backed up slowly after the two despicable men finished their piss and went back to the road.

Murtagh and Jamie watched the men get back in a coach and head in the direction of Lallybroch.

“Do ye ken-” Murtagh started but got cut off.

“They were talking about Claire the bastards.” Jamie said from behind his gritted teeth.

“Calm down, Jenny and Claire can handle that disgusting pair. At nightfall-” Murtagh was cut off again.

“No, now. I have to get to her.” Jamie growled.

“Do ye nae think she can handle them? Jenny and Ian are there.” Murtagh said. He was trying to be the voice of reason.

“Claire is MY wife! I will protect her. I thought I had lost her forever once, I willna go through that again.” Jamie said 

They walked back to where they had been sleeping to break camp. Murtagh sighed, knowing he couldn’t talk him out of it. He just hoped he could keep them both safe.

In a few hours they made it back to Lallybroch.***

***Claire’s POV from the day Murtagh and Jamie had left.

Claire lay awake for more than an hour after Jamie left. She’d gotten used to sleeping with him again and it was difficult without Jamie in her bed. Instead Claire decided to get on her knees and pray in gratitude for what she had. Her husband was alive. She’d given birth to twins in 1745 and lived. Brianna was fine and Alex was better every day. Her family knew where she was from and still wanted her to live there. Claire wasn’t the praying person that Jamie was but she felt so lucky and it felt good to run through it and say thank you. When she finished Claire got up and watched her babies sleep. They were so small. 

After a while she was relaxed enough and she got back in bed and eventually slept. The next few days were slow; Claire basically took care of her babies, ate and slept. Murtagh’s new clothes were finished and ready for a final fitting. Claire started knitting socks for Jamie and kept close care of Alex and Brianna. She would carry a baby and move the cradle room to room by placing it on a long piece of cloth and pulling the cloth. Then repeating with the other baby and the other cloth. Jenny laughed at her for keeping the babies in the same room, but Claire felt like she needed them close.

The two girls started work for the family and the first thing they did was the laundry. There was a lot of laundry. Claire caught Fergus watching them one day he was supposed to be mucking the stalls. She smiled and let it go.

On the sixth day Jamie and Murtagh had been gone, Claire woke up to the twins wailing for breakfast. She picked them both up and was feeding them both (At the same time as she managed that solo now) when Jenny knocked on her bedroom door then entered.

“Clever” Jenny said as she saw both babies nursing at once. She hadn’t had twins but she thought if she did this was a most efficient way to nurse.

“Thank you.” Claire said with a smile on her face. She saw the letter Jenny was holding.

“What’s up?” Claire asked and hoped it wasn’t about Jamie getting caught.

“Ah yes, those disgusting Seafields found out ye had ye’re bairns and…” Jenny paused as she opened the letter, “want to stop in for luncheon to give their regards.” Jenny finished.

“Okay, so dark colors again, what else?” Claire asked Jenny. 

She thought for a moment then replied, “Cradles in the parlor. I dinna think they will be too comfortable with bairns nearby. Also, let's let Fergus know we dinna want them to stay too long. I think he might be able to help… no, we should keep Fergus outside in case Jamie and Murtagh come back. I think they will be cautious but it’s good to be sure.” Jenny had that faraway look. Claire thought she was likely picturing lunch and thinking about how it would go.

“Can you cry if we need you to?” Jenny asked but then answered for Claire, “What am I saying, you can’t hide anything.” Jenny said.

“I might be able to if I don’t need to look at anyone.” Claire said. She wanted to be helpful in having them leave early.

“I’m going to talk to Ian. Strictly speaking, since you don’t have a Father or Brother alive now, Ian can speak for you in matters. I just have to convince him to come to lunch.” With that Jenny turned around and went, presumably, in search of her husband. 

Brianna finished nursing first and Claire put Alex down on the blanket so she could burp his sister. He was fussy about it but Claire had learned Brianna needed to burp quickly. After Brianna burped Claire lay her down next to her brother. When she started nursing Alex again he acted like he was starving.

“Oh please, you filled your belly no more than two and a half hours ago.” Claire said smiling. After Claire had come back to the house she started keeping track of feedings, wet or dirty clouts, and sleep times with her trusty Timex and a spare notebook she’d brought. Claire had thought she would want to write down treasured memories, all of the ‘firsts’ - first steps, first tooth, etc. She was sure that would come later but right now she wanted to be sure they were nursing enough.

There was a knock on the door and Claire said, “Enter”

It was Garia, the older of the two girls that just started working at LallyBroch,

Garia did a small curtsy and said “Good morning Mam. The Mistress sent me to help you dress.” Garia had several garments with her.

“Uh, sure, what do you have there?” Claire asked, a little concerned. 

~Twenty minutes later Claire was sitting in the kitchen eating her breakfast. She’d said no to the gray dress but did have the large black shawl wrapped around her shoulders, the black fingerless gloves and her black shawl wrapped around her head.

Jenny came down the steps with Maggie in her arms and Ian was right behind her.

“Why don’t you decline the visit? Why do we need to keep appearances with them?” Ian asked.

“Because they are friendly with the English, I don’t want us to have to put up with redcoats anymore than once a month.” Jenny sat down in the kitchen after nodding to Claire.

“Good Morning” Claire said politely.

“Fine, I’ll be in for lunch and I’ll be disagreeable to selling Claire to the highest bidder.” Ian grabbed a bannock and left.

At the door there was a disturbance and Jenny went to see who it was. When she came back her fake smile was in place.  
“Claire, these people are from the Seafield household. They are going to set up in the dining room to be sure we have a proper lunch.” Jenny was inwardly seething. All seven people were introduced, then Jenny and Claire moved to the parlor to knit and sew.


	8. Seafields and employees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Seafields make their visit, Jamie and Murtagh return, and a man cuts wood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently celebrated an anniversary so I am a little behind in my writing. It was a great celebration though!  
> This is a shorter than usual chapter, but I thought you would appreciate having another chapter.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

After about an hour the babies started fussing and Claire was going to move to her bedroom, but she went ahead and nursed in the living room with a blanket over her. It felt very freeing. 

Robina (the younger girl they’d hired) came in and took Alex to change his clout. After Brianna was fed and burped Claire switched with the girl so Alex could be fed. After Robina was out of earshot Claire said, “It was a great idea to get help, thank you.”

“Aye, it was your money.” Jenny replied, a little uncomfortable with the gratitude.

“OUR money, because we are family.” Claire corrected.

“Okay, our money, anyway it was well spent. We have extra time, plenty to fill our bellies through the winter, and a few other families will have money to help.” Jenny went back to mending a ripped shirt of Ian’s.

“Did you get your measurements taken this morning?” Claire asked. The seamstress they hired was to make a new dress for Jenny.

“Aye, and a long time she took wit’ it.” Jenny complained.

Claire smiled. Alex was finished and she burped him. Claire was holding him and just sat watching him, still amazed that her and Jamie made something so perfect..

“I could watch my bairns for hours too.” Jenny said seeing Claire.

“Babies are so beautiful, it's hard not to watch them sometimes.” Claire said, still with her eyes on Alex. She got up and put Alex in the cradle that was next to her and then watched Brianna for a while.

There was a knock at the door and Jenny and Claire thought the Seafields had come early. Robina got the door and brought a Mr. Liston to the parlor door.

“Good day to you Mistress Murray, and Mistress Claire.” The man bowed.

They exchanged pleasantries and Jenny told Robina to take him to the kitchen to give him a good breakfast as he was working today. Claire kept quiet but hoped Jenny would explain.

“Ye can ask ye know.” Jenny said.

“Okay, what is he here for?” Claire had put down her knitting and sat up to ask this.

“Just to do a little work. Ian is likely busy with all the new stock I bought and the chicken coop needs mending and more wood should be chopped. I think we’ll have chicken for dinner as the coop is near to burstin.” Jenny said as she kept sewing.

Claire went back to knitting. She was just glad it wasn’t someone here for Jamie. This post-Culloden outlaw way of life came with a lot of worry.

Mr. Liston finished his breakfast and Jenny went to the kitchen. She let Mrs. Crook know to fetch Mr. Liston for lunch as he would be working until dinner time. Then Jenny led him to the back yard and showed him where the wood to cut was located and pointed out the problem with the chicken coop. Mr. Liston went to work.

Jenny came back in and let Claire know there was no sign of them yet. Claire put her feet on the little shelf on the cradle, put her knitting down and closed her eyes.    
  


The next thing she knew Jenny was shaking her and calling her awake. “Claire, come on, we have guests.” Claire looked at Jenny who was standing over her moving her elbows like it was taking a lot of work to wake Claire.

“What the dev-” Claire said and was cut off.

“Claire, the Seafields are here.” Jenny said with a wave of the arm. Claire got up, curtsied and made pleasantries. 

The Viscount took her arm and suggested ‘a short turn around the dooryard’.

“Thank you very much for the offer Viscount but I must decline. If one of my babies wakes up I do not want to be far.” Claire replied. Who took ‘turns around the dooryard’ in December anyway?

“Of course Madame Fraser, the twins! May we have a look at the happy arrival?” The Viscount kissed her hand then looked around.

Claire put her hand on the cradle, in case the Viscount tried to touch one of her babies she could slap it.

“Oh, they are right here! They both look healthy, and you look well, how wonderful.” The Viscount was mentally checking his requirements for a wife; healthy -check, able to have children - check.

“Are they boys or girls?” The Viscount asked as he got to another requirement, having a son.

“One of each.” Claire said loudly. She took pleasure in being able to surprise and displease the Viscount.

“Oh how wonderful!” The viscount replied.

_ Damn _ , thought Claire. 

Jenny had asked Garia to go find Ian and he was finally there. After that Garia and Robina were going to stay upstairs. Jenny didn’t know what the Seafields would think about them working here, but that was a decision for their families to make. 

Ian and the Earl had made polite introductions and pleasantries. They were both watching the exchange between Claire and the Viscount.

“You look brilliant for giving birth to two children so recently.” The Viscount said softly but the whole room had heard. Ian was staring at Jenny with raised brows, Jenny stared back with her ‘I told you so face’.

“May I ask how old you are? You look very young.” The Viscount said while leering at Claire.

“Now, a gentleman never asks a woman her age.” Claire replied and tried to smile. She figured the less information the Viscount had on her the better.

The Viscount reached for a piece of Claire’s hair and to be sure Claire didn’t smack him Jenny hurried Claire out of the room in the pretense of checking on lunch.

Claire was about the go back but she saw Ian had taken her stance in front of the cradle. 

“You can’t smack him.” Jenny said after she looked around for the Seafields luncheon staff.

“Why not? An English woman would slap an English man for touching her without permission surely!” Claire replied a little too loudly.

“Do you think the women are talking of us?” Viscount Seafield asked when he heard the murmur of voices.

“Absolutely.” Ian replied. He was still a little surprised that his wife hadn’t exaggerated. If anything she glossed over the issue.

“Hmm…” The Viscount said as he looked around Ian to the babies. “Is the red hair on her side or the Fraser side?” He asked with an obvious distaste. 

“The Fraser side.” Ian answered. “May I ask your intention here? Are you just visiting or is there something more?” Ian wanted to get straight to the point; daylight hours were burning.

The Viscount and the Earl looked at each other. The Earl answered, “Something more.”

Ian sat down in the chair Claire had sat in so he could be near his niece and nephew. The Earl sat down across from him and the Viscount stood and kept peeking around the corner like a child waiting for a cookie. The Earl spoke first,

“My son wants Claire.”

Ian waited for him to elaborate but that was all the Earl said. He thought of his good friend and brother. What would Jamie do? Punch him? Laugh? Have faith in Claire’s cleverness? Ian thought it might be a few of the above, but thought he should follow his own wife’s advice.

“Well, my sister has no Father or Brother, so I speak for her now.” Ian paused and thought about the best way to put it. “She is heartbroken over Jamie and is not ready to think about loving someone else. I don’t think she will be ready for a long time.” There, that should do it, Ian thought.

“We are not talking about love here,” The Earl laughed into his hand, “My son wants to marry Madame Fraser and have children with her. He wants lots of children. We can keep her fed and care for her future children, we would of course be leaving these with you.” The Earl gestured to the cradle with the twins in it.

Ian thought for a moment before doing anything.  _ I have to remember to apologize to Jenny. _ He thought and stood.

“I think this visit has gone on enough. I can’t believe you sir! Thinking a Mother would leave two of her own babies behind, I had no idea good English people could be so callous! Good day sir.” Ian made his bow and went to the door to hold it open.

Jenny was trying not to laugh and to sound meek, “Oh no husband, they brought lunch, we were going to eat together.” 

“Pack it up! Please leave immediately.” Ian was standing his ground.

“Father! What happened? I want her!” The Viscount yelled to his Father. Claire was looking at the floor trying not to laugh because he sounded like a petulant child. Just then there was a commotion on the other side of the house, but the little group tried to ignore it and focus on the matter at hand.

The Viscount was being led out the door by his Father. “But look at her! Look how meek she is!” The Viscount yelled while being pushed out the door.

“I meant no offense.” The Earl said to Ian.

Ian was shaking his head, “I just can’t believe such good English people…” Ian trailed off.

The Earl yelled for his servants and told them to just leave the food. After they left there was considerable yelling in the dooryard.

“I need to stay here in case they try again, can you please see what the commotion was?” Ian said to Jenny and Claire. 

They didn’t have far to go to see Murtagh on top of Jamie on the ground.

“Claire, Jenny, hello.” Murtagh said pleasantly. “Are the English gone?” When Jenny nodded, Murtagh got up and off Jamie. 

Jamie got up and went to Claire putting his arms around her for a bone crushing hug.

Jenny smiled and told them to stay put. She went out to see that the Seafields had left completely. 

“What is going on?” Claire asked when Jamie released her.

“Ye’re husband wants to cause a kebbie lebbie by surrendering.” Murtagh said. Jenny yelled that it was clear and Murtagh went to investigate the ‘delightful’ smell.

“I thought ye were being taken.” Jamie almost whispered to her. He held both her hands and put his face in her hair smelling it. He put his arms around her again and held her to his chest. “I was trying to get to the living room to offer to trade myself for ye.” He loosened his hold on her a bit to kiss but she drew back.

“What?” Claire looked at her husband like he’d gone mad. “Don’t ever do that!” How do you think I would survive if you died because you traded yourself for me?”

Jamie smiled at her outrage. “Of course I would. Ye’re my wife, and anyway I dinna want to live without ye ever again.” With that he kissed her.

Claire kissed him back but she was still shaken. Yes, if she was ever actually taken by the English she may be beaten or even raped which is behold horrible. But they would kill her Jacobite husband. Claire logged the issue for a later date as she lost herself to his kiss,

Jamie had his hands on her back and ran them down to the firm round arse he adored and squeezed. Claire made that little sound he loved so much and Jamie broke the kiss to nuzzle her neck.

This went on for a few minutes before Claire pushed him away a bit and in a throaty voice said, “Jamie, I can’t yet. The babies are only ten days old.” Claire breathed deeply a few times.

“I know Sassenach, “ He said in his deep throaty voice. “But I missed ye verre much.” Jamie smiled and kissed her.

Jamie and Claire checked on their babies who were both still sound asleep and then joined everyone else in the dining room. Ian and Jenny told Jamie and Murtagh what had transpired with the Seafields. Murtagh stopped eating occasionally to nod and give his scottish sound of approval or disapproval, it was open to interpretation. 

Claire ate a bit. The food was very salty and oddly spiced. She couldn’t really think of why the carrots had garlic, onions, rosemary, root ginger, cloves and nutmeg.

“I think the Seafields are trying to show off their wealth.” Jenny explained as she watched Claire pick through her food. “They were showing you the variety of their kitchens.”

“Well, “ Claire tried very hard and swallowed a bite. “I don’t care for it.” She put her fork down.

“Why don’t I go get Garia and Robina?” Claire stood up and looked at Jenny who nodded. They’d asked the girls to go upstairs and nap or do whatever they wanted to keep them away from the Seafields. 

They were both sound asleep when Claire knocked on the door. She looked at them, smiled and closed the door. They really weren’t needed right now, Claire just wanted an excuse to leave that terrible lunch and she didn’t think they’d really take a nap.

Claire paused on her way down the hallway. Her cramps were getting worse, which was probably good Claire thought. She thought about Jamie wanting to give himself up for her and wondered how to broach that conversation. 

Claire started down the stairs thinking about what made it okay to resume sexual relations after childbirth. Was it only time to heal or were there specific things a doctor would look for before giving the go ahead to resume normal activities? Claire yawned widely and wondered if she could get a nap.

Just then Jamie and Fergus raced past Claire and she fell down the stairs.


	9. Staying Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very eager to write this chapter so I hope there is not to many grammatical mistakes.  
> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander.

(Still December 3rd, 1746)

“Milord” Fergus called from Claire’s side.

“Mama” Jamie called, to mimic Fergus.

Grown up Jamie came in eating a chicken leg and ready to tease Fergus about pulling him away from his lunch, and Jenny had followed him. He saw Claire crumpled up in a pile on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. He immediately dropped the chicken leg and went to her side. He looked at Jenny, “What do I do?”

Jenny closed her mouth and knelt at the other side of Claire. Jenny felt down Claire’s neck to be sure it wasn’t broken, then felt her head and there was a large bump raising. Then Jenny looked and felt at each of her arms and legs. Her right ankle was the size of an apple and Jenny turned to glare at Fergus and wee Jamie.

“What happened?” Jenny shook her head as soon as they started, “One at a time, Fergus first.”

Fergus went on to tell how they rushed down the steps beside her. She had been bent over but he didn’t notice until they were past Claire and the next second she was falling. 

Jenny stood up and took her brother's hand; he’d made a fist and Jenny was worried. But Jenny knew it was just an accident. “You and wee Jamie go outside, there will be a punishment later. I’ve told ye not to run on the stairs.” But Fergus just stood there.

In a voice as small as Jenny had ever heard Fergus said, “Will Milady be okay?”

“Of course, she just needs a little time. Get yourself outside and get ye’re chores doon!” Jenny said, hoping she was right. Fergus left.

“Let’s get her into bed.” Jenny motioned for Ian to help but Jamie picked Claire up himself and started walking to their bedroom. Jenny quietly asked Ian to get Daria and Robina to watch over Maggie, Katherine, Alex and Brianna.

Jamie lay Claire on the bed they shared. He looked his wife over himself and saw that except for the swollen ankle and the fast growing goose egg on her head she seemed fine.

“Did ye check her breathing?” Murtagh asked.

“What?” Jamie said, not really understanding what he heard.

Murtagh moved to the bed and put his hand right above Claire’s mouth and nose as he’d seen Claire herself do multiple times. “She is breathing.” He put his fingers on her wrist to look for her pulse like Claire had shown him once. “Her pulse is strong.”

Jenny stopped looking at Claire and turned. “Mrs. Crook,” Jenny saw she was hovering at the door,”Can you please get me something cold for the lump on her head?” Mrs. Crook turned immediately and went to fetch something. She returned with a rag filled with a bit of ice. Jenny had no idea how she got it but was grateful.

Mrs. Crook went to the kitchen to start on dinner. Jenny and Jamie watched Claire for a while but she hadn’t woken up. Murtagh was watching Claire then watching Jamie. Jenny got impatient and looked around for something to help.

“What are ye looking for?” Jamie asked.

“Something she brought from the future!” Jenny whispered furiously. “ There must be some better cure for a fall down the stairs instead of waiting!” Jenny opened drawers and went though things but found nothing but clothes, Claire’s journal, and cloth. “I’m going to check the priest hole.” Jenny announced and left the room. Murtagh followed her out the door and went to his room. He sat on his bed and started praying.

Jamie got up and closed the door about half. He went back over to the bed but he didn’t sit on the side this time,  _ the hell with giving someone their space, _ he thought. 

Jamie lay on their bed and curled himself around his wife nuzzling her neck and, softly and slowly whispered in her ear. “Sassenach, open ye’re beautiful whiskey eyes so’as I may tell ye how much I love ye.” She didn’t move and he rubbed his cheek against hers. 

“Enough resting mo chridhe, mo caraidh, mo luaidh (My heart, my friend, my darling). Please open ye’re eyes and tell me ye’re fine. Tell me to hush, I don't care.” Jamie grasped her hand and kissed her forehead. She didn’t respond and silent tears ran down Jamie’s face.

Meanwhile in the priesthole Jenny was growing frustrated.  _ What the hell good was the damn future if it couldn’t help?  _ Jenny’s thought process stopped as she opened the last leather bag she’d found that was so full it was practically bursting. Seeds. Hundreds and hundreds of seeds. Jenny pulled open the paper with ‘Jenny and Ian’ on it. It was a letter written with an odd quill. Jenny closed the letter… should she read it? No, probably not. She opened the letter and read,

_ Jenny, _

_ I miss you. I miss you and Ian and my nieces and nephew. I miss home. I am pregnant and seeing a doctor often but I wish I was there with my family. I wish I was there with you so we could help each other. I wish I was there with you to mourn Jamie together. The odd thing is he doesn’t feel gone to me, maybe because I am carrying his children.  _

_ I pray for you everyday, for you and Ian and your children. I hope Fergus made it back to you. I know he is a handful but he is very dear to me.  _

_ I made my plans to get back home. In the first hour I was in this time I knew I wouldn’t stay. I want to raise Jamie’s children at LallyBroch where he was raised. I want to be with my family. I think about you often. Where I am, a woman has much more freedom and you would have a lot of fun. For a while. _

_ I am staying for a bit, just to be sure the babies are healthy. After Faith I am a little nervous. But I will have these children at home. _

_ I have purchased as much seed as would fit in this bag and I plan to give it to you and Ian at Christmas or Hogmanay, whichever is more appropriate. These seeds should be hardier than what you are used to. I know it is harsh times in Scotland right now but it is my plan to do as much as I can to offset that. I hope the potatoes helped. I hope everyone at Lallybroch is healthy. I know there is much to recommend the future (like penicillin and hot showers) but none of it matters a bit without my family. _

_ I have the days counted till I can be back home. I miss you so much. _

_ With much love, _

_ CF _

Jenny wiped her eyes. The quill Claire had used was very clean, very interesting. All these great things in the future and she came back here, even thinking Jamie was gone. Jenny decided she wouldn’t ruin her surprise and put everything back. Jenny left the priest hole and stood in the hallway for a minute thinking...and thinking...and had an eureka moment. Jenny went back to the hallway by Claire’s room.

“Move the bairns into Claire’s room.” Jenny told Ian. She took Katherine from Ian’s arms and gave her to Garia.

“Change her clout then give her lunch, and eat yourselves.” Jenny nodded at Robina too.

Jenny followed Ian moving the cribs into Jamie and Claire’s bedroom. Jamie was kneeling by the bed praying now. It had been almost an hour and Claire wasn’t awake yet. Murtagh heard the noise and was standing in the doorway.

Jenny waited for Ian to set the cradle down and she picked up Alex. She lay him down on the bed next to Claire and started unwrapping his blankets that were tight around him.

“What are ye dooin to the bairn?” Murtagh asked from the doorway. He’d been watching from a distance but he’d grown curious. Jamie looked up when he heard Murtagh’s voice.

“Encouraging the language Mothers know.” Jenny said and continued even though Alex was fussing now. “If Claire is capable of waking, I think this would do it.” In another minute Alex was crying and Jamie went to pick him up.

“Please, wait one minute.” Jenny said watching Claire. Alex kept crying and Jenny had to talk Murtagh into backing off again.

“Look!” Jenny pointed to Claire’s face where her mouth was moving and her eyes were trying to open. Claire’s hands opened and closed and her legs were twitching.

“Jamie, Jenny, the babies,” Claire said with her eyes still closed. She opened her eyes and her hand went to the back of her head. “Jamie,” Claire grimaced, opened her eyes and raised her leg with the swollen ankle.

Jenny wrapped Alex back up and walked into the hall bouncing him a bit and humming. Her sister was awake! Jenny wiped a lone tear of happiness away before anyone saw them and took a deep breath to ready herself to go back into the room. Well, maybe there was more than one tear. She looked up and saw Murtagh watching her.

“What?” Jenny asked, already defensive.

“Nothing at all, but you do care.” Murtagh said smiling.

“Oh pish ye’ole coot. That’s my Sister, now back off.” Jenny went around Murtagh and back into Jamie and Claire’s bedroom. She saw Claire nursing Brianna and Jamie was smiling, sitting next to Claire and telling her what happened. Claire looked at Jenny and nodded a silent thank you. Jenny gave her own silent nod back, anytime.

Claire was a little green around the gills but she would be fine. Jenny gave Alex to Claire to be nursed.

Claire talked Jenny and Jamie through what to do about her ankle. It was well wrapped and elevated. 

Ian caught his wife’s hand in the hall outside the room. “What did ye find in yon priest hole?”

“Nothing to help Claire, why?” Jenny looked at him with her chin up.

“No reason,” Ian paused, “But ye found something.” Ian said softly in an effort to not to rile his 

wife. 

“Of course I found something,” Jenny said, not looking at Ian, “The priest hole is so full I wonder how Jamie fits.” Jenny brushed past Ian and went to check on Katherine. She was sitting with Garia and Robina and all three were laughing. Jenny ducked outside to give Fergus and wee Jamie extra chores. Jenny was wondering if Ian would thrash them… probably wee Jamie at least, but she wondered. Claire was the person who got hurt, maybe Claire should determine their punishment...Jenny would talk to Ian about it.

Mr. Liston was eating lunch but he was doing a good job and Jenny was a bit impressed when she saw the repairs on the chicken coop. Jenny almost cuffed wee Jamie when he complained about the extra chores but Fergus took them willingly. His first question had been about Claire. 

On the way back to the house Jenny was thinking. Maybe Claire has been too active after the births. There’d been a lot of excitement since she gave birth in the cave.

Jenny came back and talked to Claire about calming down for a few days and spending more time in bed. Claire wasn’t happy about it.

“I know ye dinna want to stay in bed, but Sister, ye’ve been though a bit. I knew ye’re strong, and so does everyone else. Ye’ve got to stay put anyway to care for ye’re ankle. Why don’t we keep ye in bed for five days and see how ye’re feelin’ then?” Jenny wanted to say two weeks but she thought Claire would never stay put that long.

Claire reluctantly agreed. Jamie was thankful Jenny got her to agree to stay put that long. In the end Claire agreed it was for the best.

Jenny and Ian talked before dinner to decide the punishment for Fergus and wee Jamie. They’d created a stramash before but this was the first time they’d hurt someone and it worried the parents. Jenny and Ian decided to talk to Claire and Jamie at or after dinner about the punishment, after all Fergus was their son, or as good as.

At dinner, much to Claire’s surprise the extra table was constructed around her in her bedroom. Jamie and Ian put it together so it seemed like she was at the end. Claire insisted she didn’t need so much fuss but was secretly pleased because dinner was family time and she didn’t want to miss it.

They figured out the punishment for the two boys. Claire decided that, since being in bed would put a strain on the house staff, maybe a chair should be set up outside her room and the boys take turns sitting there for a couple hours a day. If Claire needed anything she would call on the boys to fetch it for her.

Jenny and Ian thought that was a clever plan. The boys would be separate, one doing their chores and the other helping Claire. The punishment would last five days and maybe the boys would stop running down the stairs. Murtagh laughed and said at the end of two days the boys would be begging for a thrashin to get it over with.

So it was decided and when Jenny told the boys that night before bed wee Jamie fussed a little, Fergus nodded and just said, “Aye.”

The next five days passed quietly. Jenny set up in one of the blue chairs during the day when she could sit for a while. She made sure whichever boy was sitting outside the room barely sat down before her next request. 

Jamie left later in the day and came back earlier. Claire wondered about his safety but was happy to see him more. They played cards in the evening before bed. Sometimes Ian and Jenny would play but not every night. 

When they went to bed Jamie massaged Claire lovingly, and he kept his firm cockstand away from her. He wanted her badly but Jamie knew she needed more time. He would not bed his wife while she lay hurting.

Murtagh was up at dawn everyday and kept watch over the house until Jamie joined him. He didn’t get lax in his safety like he accused Jamie of getting. He’d been quiet about what happened to him after Culloden since coming home and Jamie wanted to give him time but it was difficult as they spent so much time together. Jamie knew there was more to the story; Murtagh gave them basic details of a few sentences During the day they kept an eye or an ear on the road for anyone coming their way. They hunted, whittled, and talked about life before Culloden. They talked about Claire and the bairns, Lallybroch, and Murtagh’s growing interest in the widow Mary Macnab.

“Mary Macnab?!” Jamie asked him with surprise.

“Yes, Mary Macnab, now keep ye’re voice down.” Murtagh responded. He looked around but there wasn’t anyone around for a few miles at least. Murtagh had taken the opposite approach to hiding out; they’d made a type of bench with cover in the tallest tree they could find. They could see the main road and the Lallybroch area but they had to squint to make out the building.

“Her husband-” Jamie started.

“Aye I ken exactly what her husband did, he betrayed ye, and beat her and her boy. I ken it, but it wasna her who betrayed ye. She likes ye just fine, thinks ye to be verre caring for a laird.”Murtagh said.

“That’s nice but I am no longer the laird. Wee Jamie is-” Jamie was going to remind his Godfather.

“Everyone knows what ye did, but ye’re the Laird. Maybe not on paper but in people’s hearts, and that is what matters most.” Murtagh put his head back on the tree and sighed. “Damn English.” Murtagh recalled Jamie signing the deed over before Culloden to save it. “Except Claire! I almost forgot she is actually English because of how decent she is.”

A few minutes passed and Murtagh asked.” Who picked the names of ye’re wanes? Ye or ye’re woman?” 

Jamie answered, “Mostly Claire, I chose Brianna’s middle names.”

“So Claire chose to name ye’re lad after me.” Murtagh paused for a moment then said, “ Yep, I wish no damn English had ever set their foot on Scottish soils. Except for Claire.” 

And the conversation came back around to Mary Macnab and if Murtagh was too old for her.

December 8, 1746

Jamie woke early for his usual cautious walk outside. After seeing everything looked normal he came back in and got breakfast for himself and Claire on a tray to take to their bedroom. Breakfast in bed was something Jamie looked forward to. He loved the way Claire looked in the morning; her hair was going everywhere and she was so soft and warm. She wore very little to bed too, especially since her bleeding had stopped. Mrs. Crook added one of the special oranges Claire had bought from a tinker and said, “Ye tell ye’re wife I’m really glad to have the oranges, ye tell her.” Mrs. Crook smiled. She’d been cautious at first, until Claire talked her into eating one.

Jamie smiled and nodded and went to his bedroom. He hadn’t tried these oranges yet, but he’d had them before. It seemed like a waste of coin but Claire said it was good for health so he would eat one. 

Jamie saw her sitting up against some pillows nursing Alex. His Claire was so beautiful. She had her shift off on one side to nurse Alex and he saw her long graceful arm. Jamie shook his head a bit and set their breakfast tray down on the little table next to the blue chairs.

“I could’ve gotten dressed and came out for breakfast.” Claire said. His Claire would never let him forget her independence.

“I know, but I wanted one more breakfast with you all to myself.” Jamie took a piece of bread and held it for Claire to get a bite. In true Claire fashion she bared her teeth and took a bite like she was starving. She laughed a bit and held the bread with her left hand as her right hand held Alex. Jamie got goosebumps as he thought about her nibbling on him. He took Alex when the greedy baby was finished nursing and burped him. Claire went to the tray and took one of the bowls of porridge and sat cross legged on the bed.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Claire said. 

_ I would like to plan to ravish ye _ “Yep, I needed to tell ye. Murtagh, Fergus and I are going to Inverness today. We need to go to the blacksmith and get some nails. Ian told me last night he needed them.”

Claire had stopped eating and looked at him. “Isn’t it too dangerous to go now? We don’t know when the redcoats will be here because of the weather and Christmas.”

“Dinna fash Sassenach, Fergus can ask for things I canna, and Murtagh isna easy to spot. I can stay hidden unless they need me.” Jamie had put Alex down and was eating his own porridge.

“Then…” Claire was going to ask why did Jamie have to go, but realized that would not be a nice thing to say. Murtagh couldn’t be put in danger to keep Jamie out of danger.

Jamie finished his porridge and kissed her on the forehead. “Dinna fash.”

They split the orange and finished their breakfast. After a nice long kiss Jamie left for the day and met up with Murtagh. 

“Did ye eat ye’re orange?” Jamie asked Murtagh.

“I split one with Mary Macnab.” Murtagh said and smiled. Jamie looked at his Godfather and laughed. Not much else was said on their way up to the cave. The idea was to nap as much as possible as they were leaving at dark to get to Inverness.

Back at LallyBroch Claire was trying to keep busy. Her ankle was tender but back to normal size and her headache went away two days ago. She was working with the seamstress to have a new shirt for Ian and Jamie finished by Christmas. She was also trying to finish knitting a new blanket for her and Jamie and it was taking a while longer than she’d expected. 

After lunch Jenny and Claire were sitting in the parlor. Maggie and Katherine were sleeping as well as Alex and Brianna. Wee Jamie was outside with Mrs. Crook and Garia hanging laundry and Fergus was taking a nap so he was ready for tonight. 

“Ye’ve worked and reworked that stitch about five times Claire. What’s on ye’re mind?” Jenny asked while she was darning socks.

“I’m just worried about Jamie going to Inverness. He’s so easy to spot with his red hair.” Claire put her knitting down and stood up to pace. She remembered her ankle in about steps and sat back down.

“No one has received their visits yet this month, the word is there are far less redcoats because they can’t travel in the weather and Christmas is in a few weeks. I don’t think we’ll get a visit till after Hogmanay.” Jenny seemed pretty confident. 

Claire paused and realized how much was out of her control. Maybe a different tact was the way to move forward.

“What needs to be done before Christmas and Hogmanay?” Claire asked Jenny who smiled.

~~~~~

That night Claire, Jamie and the twins were in their bedroom.

“Promise me Jamie Fraser, I want to hear it.” Claire said. 

“Claire, I promise ye, I willna do anything risky.” Jamie gathered his wife to him and kissed her soundly. He’d already held and kissed his bairns; he wanted to save Claire for last.

“Dinna fash, Murtagh and I need to stretch our legs anyway. If anything is risky we will wait it out or hide. I jus dinna want Fergus to go alone.” Jamie held Claire for a long minute and kissed her again. Then he was out the door.

Murtagh was waiting for him. “Claire told me to make sure ye dinna do anything stupid.” 

“Is that all she said?” Jamie asked.

“Well, no,” Murtagh mumbled a bit here, “But that’s what she said concerning you.” Jamie smiled at his Godfather. He knew exactly what Claire had said. Jamie had been in the next room holding his bairns when he heard Claire talking to Murtagh. 

“Murtagh, don’t let Jamie do anything stupid or risky.” Claire said with his hands in hers. “And watch your temper, don’t do anything stupid or risky yourself please.” Then Claire had hugged the man who was like a young Father to Claire.

Jamie said nothing, and they got Fergus and started their journey.

December 12, 1746

It is sunset and Claire stands on the road listening. She thinks about walking a bit but to get to Inverness and back in four days on foot would be an incredible feat. She decided to go back in the house and sit down to dinner with the family.

December 13, 1746

Claire pulled on her cloak and all the warm clothes she had. The twins were just changed, fed and burped. Robina was sitting in the parlor keeping an eye on them and Claire knew she had an hour to walk out and an hour to walk back before her children might need feeding again.

Almost two hours later Claire walks slowly back to the house. Alone.

That evening at sunset Claire is putting on her warm clothes when Jenny comes behind her and starts doing the same thing.

“Jenny, what are you doing?” Claire asked.

“Coming out with ye to look.” Jenny said. She didn’t look at Claire when she spoke and Claire knew there was no argument to be had.

Jenny turned out to be a major help. Claire knew of a few of the small paths Jamie had shown her before but Jenny knew them all. 

After two hours they came back to the house. Just the two of them.

December 14, 1746

It was almost sunrise, or it was so dark the sun was already up and you couldn’t see it. The snow was coming down in sheets. Claire was at the door suiting up to go look for Jamie.

Jenny came behind her and started suiting up. No words were spoken this time; it was too early.

They were out for about two hours again. They came home by themselves again.

Sunset at Lallybroch that day saw some tenants coming with their rents. The previous quarter they didn’t have it so they were delivering it now. Claire nor Jenny went out to check the trails because they had to seem like there was no Jamie to look for. Jenny couldn’t imagine their tenants betraying Jamie but look at Mr. Macnab. These tenants lived at the edge of their lands and knew the family much less than other families.

December 15, 1746

_ Seven days _ Claire was nursing Brianna and all she could think of was seven days. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had been gone for seven days. Ian had said the trip would take four to six days depending on weather.

As soon as Claire had Brianna down she opened the bedroom door to let a sleepy Garia in. The girl settled herself in one of the blue chairs and Claire left the room.

Jenny was already by the door and the pair set off as they had been doing. This time they checked different trails. They still came home by themselves. As they did at sunset.

December 16, 1746

Claire was waiting by the door for Jenny today.

“I have a new plan.” Claire said.

“Whatever it is I am ready. This is getting us nowhere.” Jenny looked up at Claire and was a little worried at the smile she saw.

“I'm glad we agree.” Claire let her finish suiting up and took Jenny out to an old shed that no one used anymore.

“Why are we going in here? There is nothing but broken furniture in here.” Jenny said.

“Exactly.” Claire took Jenny to her hiding spot. “Two hour trips are getting us nowhere, so I have a plan.” Jenny was a little nervous as she saw the gleam in Claire’s eyes.

Claire opened an old crate that was next to the wall. “Okay, first you take out a baggie of milk, this is mine of course, and you make sure it’s sealed-”

“What is this?” Jenny asked.

“I have to be gone longer than two hours to look for Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus. You are the only person I can trust with this. I don’t want a stranger nursing my babies and the strain of two more would be too much for you right now.” Claire went on to explain she’d been expressing milk as often as she could just in case she needed it. Claire kept it in this shed because no one came out here and it would be kept cold. 

Claire showed Jenny the little baggies that she’d taken from the hospital. Jenny was holding an empty one, feeling it and making a face.

“What is it made of?” Jenny asked.

“Plastic. They can’t be reused so hide the used ones and I will bury them off your land and away from Lallybroch. One witch trial was enough.” Claire said.

She finished the directions of checking the seal on the baggie then floating them in warm water to heat up. Claire had brought two bottles back, and four nipples. Jenny felt these with wide eyes as well. 

After Claire had finished the instruction of how to feed the twins with the bottles Jenny agreed to use them. Claire told her they were still nursing every two to two and a half hours during the day. At night they made it three hours.

“Do ye ken how long ye’ll be gone?” Jenny asked.

“I am going to try to get back tonight. I’ve been mapping out the trails you’ve shown me and I have a plan. If I don’t get back today don’t worry; that might mean I’ve found them.” Claire smiled.

Jenny looked at Claire for a long minute. “How long should this milk last me?” 

“Forty eight hours.” Claire picked up a couple baggies in case she could express during the day. “Please be careful Jenny, if anyone sees you with it tell them I brought it back from France. As long as no one else touches it, that might fly.” Claire picked up a bag she’d packed with medical supplies, food and beer.

Jenny looked into the crate where the milk was stored. "How many times a day are ye running out here in the snow to put ye're milk here?"

"Multiple. Too many." Claire paused. " I needed a back up plan so I could get Jamie if he needed it." 

Jenny and Claire looked at each other, strong woman to strong woman. They held hands, nodded and Claire left. Neither could bear strong emotion right now and they knew it.

Jenny took four baggies in the house with her to start the warming process. She tucked them in her pockets. 

~~~December 20 1948 the week before Yule

Mrs. Graham gets up to answer the door and a smile comes on the woman's face as she sees the guest.

“Sarah, come in out of the cold.” Mrs. Graham holds the door wide open.

“Thank you Violet, just for a moment.” Sarah walks in and stomps her feet to get the snow off her boots.

Sarah fishes something out of her bag and holds it up. “I was up at the stones getting ready for Yule and I found this at the starting stone.”

“What is it?” Mrs. Graham asks.

“A letter to you, from Claire.” Sarah replies, slowly.

Mrs. Graham gasps and takes the letter.


	10. Hide and Seek and Find!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire looks and finds Jamie, Ferguson and Murtagh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers,
> 
> This is shorter than I usually make the chapters but I thought it would be good to have something to read over the weekend (a long weekend for most Americans).
> 
> There is a bit at the end of this chapter that might be controversial...I welcome everyone to express their opinions.
> 
> I wrote it in because in a couple who can be very passionate (as an understatement with our Claire and Jamie) it is easy to imagine.
> 
> Have a happy and safe weekend!

Inverness December 21, 1948

Reverend Wakefield came into the kitchen holding the letter that Mrs. Graham had left in her coat pocket. “I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do what?” Mrs. Graham asked while she was pulling Christmas biscuits out of the oven.

“I will report the birth of Claire’s twins so you don’t have to contact Frank.” The Reverend said.

The pan clanked on the counter and Mrs. Graham turned around. She saw the letter in his hand. “That is my letter.”

“It was on the floor and I saw it” The Reverend turned the letter and looked at the paper. “The paper looks like it is from two hundred years ago but it is not written with a quill. Did you let her take a ballpoint pen?” 

“Let her!?!” Mrs. Graham knew the Reverend was unaware it was 1948 but this was too much. “That woman can travel 200 years by herself, and save our wee Roger so no one is telling her what she can or cannot bring anywhere.” Mrs. Graham whispered. She was furious with the Reverend. He read her letter and looked surprised when she was upset.

“Where are you going?” He asked when she grabbed her coat.

“I’m going to pick Roger up from choir practise.” Mrs. Graham closed the door and left.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Three miles from Lallybroch December 18, 1746

Claire had come home the last two nights. As much as she wanted to be fearless she had two babies who needed at least one parent and preferably two. She would not be home tonight and was making camp. Winter had come and brought about six inches of snow so she was concerned about sleeping rough without Jamie.

Claire went into her makeshift tent and started to express milk. Jenny said the twins were doing fine during the day. Brianna had not taken to the nipple on the bottle but it was okay because Jenny could nurse Brianna and Alex would take the bottle. This way Claire’s milk lasted longer.

Claire let out a small groan of pleasure as she expressed. It wasn’t as effective as the babies nursing but her breasts felt better after. She hid her two full bags of breastmilk in the snow and got settled for the night.

Five miles from Lallybroch December 19, 1746

It was getting close to noon and Claire was hungry and her breasts were full. She moved even further back from the road and was getting ready to sit down on a rock to eat her lunch and express her milk when she heard rustling in the trees.

Claire immediately stood back up and looked around. She was reminded of the boar hunt at Castle Leoch and grew alarmed. She was attempting to stand on top of the rock when a very tall, red headed Scotsman ran out of the woods.

“Claire!” Jamie picked her up and held her to him. He let her go and held her by the shoulders, “The bairns?”

“Fine. Murtagh, you, Fergus?” Claire said as she searched his body and saw no outward sign of injury.

“Fergus fell out of a tree and we think his leg is broken.” He had one arm around her by her shoulders and had his face in her hair smelling her. “It’s slow going carryin’ the lad.”

Claire got on her toes and kissed Jamie. “Take me to him.” Claire said. Jamie picked up her leather bag and they walked hand in hand the half mile back into the woods.

“How did you see me?” Claire asked.

“I always know when ye’re near Sassenach.” Jamie smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

Murtagh and Fergus were behind a tree. “Milady!” Fergus cried and tried to stand up.

“Claire, are ye bairns alright?” Murtagh asked.

“Hello Fergus, just stay put. Bree and Alex are fine, Jenny is caring for them.” Claire hugged Murtagh and then knelt next to Fergus and kissed his check. Fergus grew a little pink and smiled.

“Let's have a look, shall we” Claire ripped Fergus’s pants at the seam and saw a large swelling and terrible bruise between his knee and his thigh.

“Can you move your knee at all?” Claire asked.

“Not very well Milady. Murtagh and Milord have been carrying me.” Fergus was trying to keep his pants closed and shivered.

“Don’t worry about the cold for now, we are going to make a splint for your leg.” Claire said. She saw Murtagh gave a fast I told you so look to Jamie but said nothing. 

She pulled her cloak back and turned to Jamie to get some things out of the bag.

“Sassenach” Jamie said and nodded to her chest.

“Oh bloody hell.” Claire said looking at her chest. She turned back to Murtagh and Fergus. “I am a nursing Mother away from my babies, so excuse me.” Claire started to take her cloak off but Jamie stopped her and gave Fergus his jacket.

“Wrap Fergus up and get some branches to make a splint.” Claire said.

She took her bottle of whiskey out and an aspirin. She hadn’t pressed this to powder like she planned but Fergus thought she was half fairy anyway. “Fergus, put this in your mouth and wash it down with whiskey.” Fergus reached for the pill.

At the mention of whiskey both Jamie and Murtagh looked at her. “Ye’re given’ the lad whiskey but nae the men?” Murtagh asked.

“The men did not break their leg.” Claire answered. Fergus smiled.

He took the aspirin in his hand and looked at it oddly then at Claire. She nodded and smiled then Fergus put it in his mouth and washed it down with a large swig of whiskey.

In a short amount of time Fergus had a splint on and was in much less pain. Claire shared half the food she had and saved the other half for later in the day. The plan was to sleep until the sun was down, then try to make it to Lallybroch before daylight. 

Murtagh insisted on getting back in a tree and he said the lad was safest with him. Jamie and Claire put up her little tent and Jamie covered it with greenery just in case.

“This is a small one aye?” Jamie said as he squeezed in the door and settled.

“Well, yes, but I could only bring what I could carry and I thought food and medicine was more important.” Claire said defensively. 

“Aye, ye’re right Sassenach, ye’re right.” Jamie was laying right next to her propped on an elbow. “Can ye no get some rest with me?” He asked.

Claire was sitting with her bag at her side. She needed to express, but upon reaching in her bag realized the little plastic baggies she’d brought were all full. She pulled them out to set them outside the tent with some snow around them, and Jamie was very curious. Claire explained the process of saving breast milk for using later.

“Ye saying that you put ye’re milk in these and then in a bottle to feed the bairns?” Jamie asked, understanding quickly.

“Yes, that way -” Claire was cut off.

“Ye mean… I could have been the one feeding our bairns all this time?” Jamie asked, getting upset.

“All this time, they aren’t a month old yet! But I guess, yes.” Claire answered.

“Claire-” Jamie started.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I was thinking of this as a backup system only. I didn’t know you wanted to feed our babies.” Claire took his hand.

“We’re going to have to go through all the stuff ye brought back, aren't we?” Jamie said and kissed her.

“I suppose, yes. Now I really need to express, my breasts hurt.” Claire said looking for the little cup she had.

“Let me help ye Sassenach.” Jamie said. He helped get her coverings off and her dress down. 

Claire had been doing this by herself but she didn’t say anything because her husband's hands felt good on her. He kissed her again and lifted her heavy breasts. “Where’s another one of those milk holders?” Jamie asked.

“I’m out. I have a little cup...” Claire moved a little to the side and found the cup. She started expressing and Jamie was in awe.

“I had no idea ye’re breast’s did that.” He watched her express her milk into the cup.

“Make milk?” Claire looked at him in surprise.

“I knew that, but...just the way it looks I think.” Jamie said without taking his eyes off her breasts.

“Would you please empty this?” Claire said and handed the cup to Jamie.

Jamie took the cup and drank it then handed back to her. “Mmm, very sweet.”

Claire sat there with her mouth open in surprise. 


	11. Foot play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how many of the book readers recall this (probably depends on how long ago you read the books) but they were written in first person from Claire’s POV (point of view). 
> 
> So I tried it this chapter.
> 
> \- As always your opinions are welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.  
> I love to read the comments, thank you!

“What’s wrong Sassenach?” Jamie asked me while handing the cup back.

“Uh...I… I’m surprised is all. I gave you the cup to toss out the milk.” I replied.

“Toss out… why? Was it bad?” Jamie asked, with a short laugh..

“No, of course not but… well, breast milk is only drunk by babies.” I said. It felt off to be sure but it stirred something in me watching him drink my breast milk.

“I am glad where ye come from, food and drink is so plentiful it can be tossed out. It comes from ye, and if it canna be saved for our wanes then I should drink it Sassenach. I know ye have to keep making milk to have it for our bairns, but dinna throw it out.” Jamie finished his little talk with a kiss.

I thought for a bit on how to phrase a request that was sure to embarrass me, “Well then, if you put it that way, would you mind getting it from the source? Expressing is fine, but it doesn’t empty my breasts.” I finished with pink cheeks.

“With great pleasure Sassenach, I will perform my husbandly duty.” Jamie answered with a wide grin. He started leaning toward me and stopped. “Do ye mind if I-”

“No, whatever you plan to ask, no I don’t mind.” I smiled at my husband who had looked a little worried, and he smiled back. My heart jumped a little with that smile.

He picked me up and arranged my legs so I straddled him. I looked at him remembering many happy moments in this position, he was looking right back at me, likely remembering the same times.

Jamie took my left breast and kissed all around it. “Holy God, Sassenach.” Then he kissed all around my right breast. “I surely did something right in my life that allowed you to marry me.” Then, in a growl that made me giggle, took my nipple in his mouth.

I tried to turn off the womanly part of me that was sharing something so intimate with my husband. My gorgeous specimen of a man husband. I thought he might not want me because I was still so big from when I was pregnant but it seemed he had no qualms. I could see the outline of him in his breeks, and he looked ready.

The tent was small though, and I knew I wanted to wait until we were in a bed.

He took breaks and kissed up to my neck. Finally my right breast was empty and I sighed with relief. I had been worried about a decreasing milk supply, but if Jamie would help me that was a worry of the past.

Jamie had one hand stroking my back and the other squeezing my left breast. When it was empty I kissed him soundly. 

“Thank you, I hope it wasn’t weird.” I felt embarrassed but also wonderful; my breasts were finally empty and I felt very close to my husband. Very, very close to my husband. I was hoping we would be in a bed, soon.

“Nae Sassenach, it felt verre nice.” Jamie said. I think he knew how I felt because even though he was physically ready, I wanted our bed, not this tiny tent.

“Here Sassenach,” Jamie brought me close to him, “Lie with me and let's rest.” I settled myself to spoon with him and thought I would just think about things but I fell soundly asleep with him.

They settled down together and napped until darkness fell. When they woke Jamie performed his husbandly duty again and he had a broad smile on his face. There was something intimate about drinking her milk and he loved the warm feeling it gave him. 

“I need some water or I will drink all of the ale. I am so thirsty.” I said while getting ready. 

Jamie smiled. “Drink it. I want to see if ye’re milk tastes different.” He was smiling from ear to ear.

We ate the rest of the food I brought, which lightened the load considerably. Murtagh scoffed when he found the ale gone but Jamie and I shared a private look.

Fergus was in a lot less pain in the splint. It also made it easier to carry him. Jamie and Murtagh took turns carrying the bag or Fergus so they made good time. They had to stop twice for Claire, (to express) and Murtagh narrowed his eyes when Jamie said he had to help his wife. The group was about a mile from Lallybroch when fast horses were heard. Jamie and Murtagh ran for the brush leaving Fergus and Claire. 

I realized what was going on quickly and acted like I’d just taken a break then went back to half carrying and half pulling Fergus.

The horses stopped suddenly near Fergus and myself.

“Woooa, now.” Damn Damn Damn Viscount Seafield. His horse had barely stopped before he dismounted.

I made an awkward curtsy. “Good morning Viscount. You are out very early.” I said hoping to remind him why he was out.

Viscount Seafield bowed and lifted my hand to kiss. I saw he had a wide grin full of bad teeth. As soon as he touched me I heard some movement in the nearby bush and jerked my hand back. “What-” I cut him off before anything could be made of it. 

“There were a family of rabbits just there.” I quickly realized this might be the wrong thing to say as the Viscount’s companion went toward the bush with his knife. “Sir, there were, they are gone now.” I pointed in the opposite direction.

“Madame Fraser, you must give me leave to use your first name, my dear.” The Viscount moved his attention back to me.

“Must I? Hmm… Please don’t think I am rude but I must get us back to Lallybroch.” I nodded goodbye to the men and started walking with Fergus again.

“Absolutely not!” The Viscount snapped his fingers, pointed, and Fergus was out of my arms and on his servant’s mount before I could muster a scathing reply. I gave a strict look to Fergus, hoping he would keep quiet.

“Viscount-” I tried to refuse, then the Viscount picked me up and tried to get me on the other horse with him. I slapped him soundly across the face. “Sir, you will unhand me and ask before touching me again.”

The Viscount, instead of looking put off, seemed happy I slapped him. This was much to my disappointment. “It has been a while since I have been slapped, it reminds me of happy times when I learned valuable lessons.” I sighed, what the bloody hell could I do to put this man off?

I looked at the horse and I knew without a block I couldn’t get up there on my own.

“I will walk, thank you.” I decided to let them carry Fergus, the boy was exhausted and in pain. It wasn’t that far, but it would be shorter on top of a horse.

We made polite conversation on the way and I managed to keep the Viscount’s hands off me. Once we reached the dooryard the sun was completely up and Mrs. Crook went for Jenny who came at once. She saw Fergus being helped off the other horse.

“Sister! Did ye find the lad?” Jenny nodded to the Seafields and then hugged me.

“Where are…” Jenny said in my ear.

“Safe, Jamie and Murtagh heard them and went into the brush.” I said and then went to get Fergus.

“Thank you for your help.” I nodded to the Viscount and to his assistant.

I took Fergus into the house and Jenny held the Viscount off but she did thank him. Many times, until he got the hint that he wasn’t coming inside.

I got Fergus situated in the kitchen and then went to find my babies. 

Brianna and Alex were in their own cradles and sleeping quietly. I smiled; of course they would be fine, Jenny was amazing. 

I re-splint Fergus’s leg and got him to take another aspirin and some whiskey. I got him settled in a downstairs bedroom for a nap and went to eat. I had a late breakfast and ended up staying in the kitchen until lunch. I told Jenny about the search.

Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie and I were sitting at the table eating lunch when one of the babies started crying. I excused myself and got up, but Jenny jumped up and added bread to my plate, and topped off my drink. “Take it with you” She told me. Hmm...maybe I had dropped more of the baby weight than I thought.

I went into my room and set my food and drink down on the little table next to the blue chair and went to take my dress off quickly. I still had my shift on but none of the road dust. Alex was crying so I picked him up and changed his clout. 

“Are you happy to see your Mommy?” I held him close to me and kissed his head. Good gracious he smelled wonderful! When I looked at him it seemed like he was smiling and I gasped. I sat in the rocker Jenny had brought in for us and nursed him.

“Were you smiling little one?” I whispered softly to him. I knew it was possible at his age, but it could also be gas. I got him fed and he was laying in his cradle just looking at the world. I kicked my shoes off and sat in the blue chair eating and watching my babies.

Brianna started fussing and I changed her clout and talked to her. She nursed easier than her brother, probably because of the change in nipples. When Brianna was finished I lay her down in Alex’s crib and saw them watch each other. It was very sweet. 

When they were falling asleep I separated them and lay down too. I was only a little worried about Jamie but he and Murtagh would probably appear for dinner.

I ended up sleeping until dinner. I woke to hushed voices in the front of the room. I was worried until I realized it was Jamie and Jenny.

“Hush now, ye’re going to wake Claire.” Jenny said.

“Aye, but why do we leave the milk holder in the hot water so long? The milk will mix with water.” Jamie said. Obviously Jenny was showing Jamie how to feed the babies.

“If ye dinna wanna listen just tell me.” Jenny was getting frustrated.

“Aye, I will listen.” Jamie said. I bit my finger so I didn’t laugh.

“Now, ye heat the milk in the holders in the bucket of warm water, the water willna mix. Once it’s warm ye put the milk holders in the bigger milk holders. Then test to be sure it’s not too hot or too cold. Then ye screw on the top with the nipple.” I could hear Jenny getting the milk ready as she instructed Jamie.

I thought it was time to ‘wake’ up. I yawned and stretched and stood up. I walked over and saw Jamie in the rocking chair feeding his son. No one said a word. Jamie had a tear in his eye when he looked up at Claire and Jenny.

“I’ll get Brianna, then I’ll come help with dinner.” I told Jenny, moving to my daughter’s cradle as she fussed.

“Help with dinner, Claire ye been sleeping for three hours. Come eat when ye’re finished.” Jenny said, smiling at me.

Jenny left and Jamie asked, “Do ye want the rocking chair?”

“No, I’m fine here.” I settled down with our daughter in my arms watching my husband feed our son. Of course I preferred the rocker but Jamie seemed so incredibly happy there was no way I was going to ask him to move. Could there be any happier moment? 

Yes, when he’s free.

For now it was a very happy moment and I savored it.

~~~

Dinner was delicious and everyone was hungry. Hogmanay was coming up and it was the topic of conversation at dinner. As it turned out Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus also went into Inverness to hire musicians to play and an extra cook for the event.

“I still don’t think we should do anything lavish.” Ian said.

“It won’t be lavish, just music and plenty of good hearty food, nothing fancy.” Jenny said. “We’re only inviting our tenants.”

“Okay, just the tenants.” Ian agreed.

I couldn’t wait for dinner to be over. I wanted my husband… The time has come the walrus said I thought to herself and smiled. The message of the poem didn’t fit but the line did.

The potatoes went around the table but when it got to me I felt Jamie’s eyes on me. I looked across the table into his eyes and just looked at him. I think he needed me as much as I needed him.

“Claire!” Jenny yelled. I clumsily put the spoon back in the dish and passed it on. I looked at my plate and realized I hadn’t dished myself any potatoes. Damn!

I’d kicked my shoes off before dinner and I reached across with my foot to try to catch Jamie’s attention. I wanted him to have an idea of my plans for tonight.

“Claire, that’s my foot.” Ian said. He looked at Jenny while he said this and his wife laughed.

Jamie had been staring at me, but he laughed when Ian told me I had the wrong foot. Murtagh got up to use the privy.

“Go on you two, out.” Jenny had stood up and declared dinner over after I was playing with her husband's foot.

“Ian, I’m sorry-” Claire started.

“I know lass, but it was funny.” Ian chuckled a bit and patted my hand. 

Jamie and I got up and went toward our bedroom. He was laughing but I was just embarrassed. Jenny stopped me to ask if I wanted to put my twins in the nursery, but neither Jamie nor I wanted the twins out of the room.

“Then keep it down you two.” Jenny said.

Ian was waiting for her in the dining room. “Do ye think they will keep it down?” he asked.

“I dinna think they will, but they might try.” Jenny said and took his hand. Ian brought her in for a hug.

“Let’s get some air.” Ian said and tugged his wife over to put on a warm cloak and go outside.

-Meanwhile-

Jamie and I practically tiptoed past the babies and once again we were both grateful for the big room.

As soon as we made it to the bed I helped Jamie get his boots off and he helped me get my dress off. 

I was having issues with Jamie’s shirt but I opened the bed curtains and stood on the bed to get his shirt off.

I still had my shift on and Jamie his breeks.

“Sassenach, are ye sure it’s been long enough since the birth?” Jamie said. I looked at him and smiled. He was magnificent; long and muscled, a little thin still but beautiful and his cock was so hard I thought it might rip the seam on his breeks.

I got off the bed and hugged my husband. “It’s been almost a month, I’m fine, I want you and I need you Jamie.” I reached up to kiss him and it deepened.

That was all he needed to hear. He had us both naked without letting go of my lips. Jamie ran his hands in my hair and down my back to grab my buttocks. He picked me up to straddle him then turned and sat on the bed.

His hands were everywhere, just soaking up the nakedness of me and I was doing the same to him.

“Aah, Jamie.” I stopped kissing his neck and gave a long moan as I felt his hand between my legs. I was ready for him but Jamie rubbed that little nubbin on what he called my honeypot. I rocked and moaned, it felt delicious. When Jamie stopped abruptly I thrashed about, “Jamie now” I tried to move my legs to have him inside me. 

“Now? Och, Sassenach, don’t ye need longer, ye know it’s been a while.” Jamie smiled as he teased me.

“No, I want you now Jamie.” I grabbed his face and emphasized now.

Jamie rolled over and deposited me on the bed. He entered me quickly and without mercy. Exactly how I wanted him.

“Ah, yes” I moaned and my hands flailed wildly looking for him.

Jamie stopped and guided my hands to hold the bedpost.

“I plan to give ye a wild ride mo luaidh, so ye better hold on.” Jamie said and took possession of my mouth again.

Jamie reclaimed me as his wife that night. He pushed all of the fears and loneliness away and we just became physically reacquainted with and in each other. Through touch, scent, taste and love our bodies joined together... a few times.

~~~~

The next morning I was up again to feed the twins. They slept good for their age, but it was still about 3 hours at a time. Add in the coupling with my husband I was bleary eyed.

I heard a little rap at the door and Jenny poked her head in. 

“Goodness Claire, did ye sleep at all?” Jenny came in and changed Alex’s clout.

“I think so.” I replied, not realizing the question was rhetorical.

“I don’t really think that’s ye’re concern.” Jamie said. Thankfully he’s put his breeks back on and was pulling his shirt over his head as he spoke.

“Jamie! I thought ye gone brother! It’s long past sunup and I got word this morning of redcoats in the area.” Jenny said.

“What? I thought with the-” Jamie started.

“Jamie, please, I love you, get to safety!” I said loudly enough to upset Brianna who was nursing.

He stood still for a few seconds, that felt like precious minutes, just looking at me. “Aye.” Was all he said before tossing on his boots and all his gear. 

He hugged his sister when he was ready, “Thank ye Jenny, please-” But Jenny cut him off.

“Aye brother, I forgive ye’re stubbornness and Ian and I will keep ye’re wife and ye’re barns safe. Now, get ye gone man!” She gave him a brief hug.

Jamie kissed me soundly enough we both had red cheeks when we separated. I nodded and he smiled. Then he was gone. Red coats in the area meant I wouldn’t see him for a few days at best and we both knew it.

The twins were fed and changed. Garia was with Katherine but Jenny called Robina in and had her bring breakfast to Claire.

“I can go to the kitchen.” Claire said standing up.

“Aye, I know it, of course. Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab are both in the kitchen. The new cook Mrs. Murphy started today. There’s some kind of pishing contest going on and I dinna want to be a part of it.” Jenny said and sat down in a huff.

Claire tried really hard not too, but she laughed.

“What?” Jenny said, looking almost angry.

“It’s what you wanted, but now things are so tense in the kitchen you don’t want to go to the kitchen.” Claire was laughing hard now.

“Ye have a painful habit of expressing the obvious sister.” Jenny said. She was trying to be stern but ended up laughing herself.

I ate breakfast and Jenny took the twins with her to the living room so I could take a nap.

~~~

Christmas came and went. It was a beautiful Christmas day; snow, good food, family and prayer. I’d originally thought their Christmas simple compared to my time but in reality they had so much more meaning. It was a wonderful Christmas. I just wished my husband was there to share it. He and Murtagh hadn’t been seen.

Two days before Hogmanay Jamie tiptoed into my room. The bed curtains were closed and the twins were in bed with me. I had a dirk in my hand waiting for whatever blackguard had entered my room past midnight. 

“My bairns.” I heard Jamie whisper and I dropped the knife and ran to him. He’d seen the empty cradles and thought the worst. 

When we finally got the twins settled in their cradles for the night we made love. It was frantic, like a drowning man grasping for life. After, he moved the cradles next to the bed under the curtains and left again. At least I was able to report the next morning Jamie and Murtagh were safe.

The day before Hogmanay Jenny and I filled two of my leather bags with food for Ian to take to Murtagh and Jamie. Redcoats or no, they were going to be in the cave for a few days to miss Hogmanay. As much as I wanted Jamie with us, I was determined not to complain on safety issues. I wrote a long note and got a book from the stash in the priest hole for Jamie that got added to the bags. Ian took the bags out and reported he saw Murtagh who reported they were both fine, just a little lonely. I wondered if Jamie was right and Murtagh had started a relationship with Mary Macnab.

~~ 

The house was beautiful. Before we were completely ready, tenants started coming for Hogmanay and all were received. The food was a big focus and everyone was happy to be there.

My own reception was mixed. The families of the men who were brought back from Culloden were very gracious and glad to see me and peek at the twins. Other people liked me fine until I spoke and reminded them I was a Sassenach.

The music started up and there was dancing. I went back to my room and took care of my babies. I thought I would make people uncomfortable and without Jamie I didn’t really want to push things. 

Jenny and Ian had a splendid time. The next day had me watching all the children of the house until lunch. I was fine with this; it was more than my turn.

~

The night after Hogmanay Jenny told me about the Seafields trying to come into the house. She didn’t let them in, telling them it was for tenants only and she didn’t think it was the crowd for the Seafields. She also told me I received two offers of marriage.

“What?” I replied, not sure I heard her correctly.

“Two of the men who were brought back from Culloden Moor offered marriage to ye.” Jenny said while eating her porridge.

“Aye.” Ian added.

They both looked at me because I had no reply. I was shocked because only a few men had spoken to me and even those that spoke to me only made polite conversation. How long would I do this? How long would I pretend to be a widow? How long do I fend off marriage proposals?

“Ye’er a healer, you can have children, and a valuable wife.” Ian explained.

“Until they taste her cooking.” Jenny joked and they both laughed.

I excused myself for some air. Why was I so conflicted? I was ready to come home when I thought Jamie was likely gone, why was my brain muddled at this?

Yes, he was gone a lot and probably not enough. I was almost angry at him for leaving me, leaving us to deal with this. I was angry at myself for not considering this possibility. I knew it was hard times for most of the Highlanders, I knew it before I came. That’s why I brought what I could bring through the stones. I suppose a plump woman of childbearing age would logically look like a good idea for those without a wife, And for those who didn’t know the real me.

“Sister, I was joking; I dinna mean to hurt ye’re feelings.” Jenny said and sat next to me.

“What? Oh, no ye’re right I can not cook.” I said and looked away thinking about it. I could cook a few basic things… bread (in my time, with yeast), a roast (in my time in a regulated oven) and rabbit stew, in this time, over an outdoor fire. Maybe I should trouble one of the cooks to teach me to cook bannocks.

Jenny took my hand, “We would never marry ye to anyone..” She said firmly.

I looked at her, smiled and nodded my thank you. I’d put myself in their hands literally. 

Another three weeks went by without Jamie and the twins were two months old. They were both holding up their heads by themselves for a few seconds at a time. Their legs straightened out and became more baby and less new infant. I took them to the barn once a week and weighed them. Brianna and Alex both hit 12 pounds and went over it. I put them both on their stomachs for a few minutes every couple hours and got on the floor to play with them. The most wonderful thing that happened during this time is they would both sleep for four hours at a time at night. 

Time passed and I tried to move with the household. Ian made a few more food drops to Jamie and Murtagh. Each time I included a letter to my husband and new reading material. I acclimated to the schedule of the house and tried to focus on what needed to be done. 

I saw the patients that needed medical assistance, though I had Garia or Robina with me if the patient was a man. Culloden had many consequences that changed the lives of everyone. And their behavior. 


	12. Stirring question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter than I usually write but I wanted the cliff hanger at the end 🤫  
> Please know I have already started the next chapter 
> 
> * As always your opinions are most welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!

March 1746

I was sitting in bed one morning thinking. About 3:30am that morning I’d awoken to see Jamie walk in our bedroom and stand over the twins. When I said his name he startled and ran. Like an animal. Like a wild thing.

I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Then I sat until the twins were awake.

Jenny and I were sitting on the front steps on a warm evening later that week. Ian was playing with wee Jamie and Maggie. Katherine was in Jenny’s arms and Brianna was in mine. Garia was watching Alex. I told Jenny about what happened and told her how I felt about it.

“He is living in a cave and living wild Claire.” Jenny whispered back.

“Yes, I understand, but not to stay long enough to hold his children… you know that's not like him.” I replied while kissing Brianna’s hand in a fashion like I was eating her hand. Brianna’s laugh rang loud for her age, it was beautiful.

“I see ye’re point.” Jenny sighed and stroked Katherine’s hair. “I dinna know what we can do about it. He is alive, and we ken it, we have to be grateful for that. We’ve had this conversation before, there is no way ye can safely travel.” Jenny said and shook her head.

“Travel…” I whispered and wondered if there was any possible way to take Jamie through the rocks. I took Roger. Jenny watched me for a moment… then let out a small gasp.

“I thought Jamie couldna… ye know!” Jenny whispered back and looked at me.

“No, not the way I can… but maybe there is another way.” I told Jenny. I worried my lower lip until she replied and startled me.

“We need to think about this, I will talk to Ian.” Jenny said back. I looked at her and nodded, seeing Robina looking at us. She was folding the laundry from the line and looking back at us.

“What’s wrong with Robina?” I asked Jenny in a regular voice. Jenny looked at me and smirked.

“She agreed to marry one of the Galley boys and she’s nervous to tell me she wants to quit her job.” Jenny smiled a bit.

“You’re awful,” I said jokingly and leaned on Jenny a bit, “Why don’t you just let the girl off the hook?” I said back, laughing at the situation.

Jenny was laughing now too and pushed on me, “Because she has become so squeaky about getting married, I want her to tell me herself.”

Jenny and I spent a pleasurable evening talking and laughing on the steps. We both had Jamie in our thoughts, but we pushed him to the back of our minds, to be thought about later. 

Unbeknownst to me the object of that large spot in the back of our minds was in a tree about a quarter of a mile away. He watched us until we went inside because it was time to put the children down for the night. _Jamie was happy that Claire could smile and laugh without him but he missed her so much his heart ached. Happy, he told himself. Tears ran down his cheek and hit his hands._

~~~~

Surprise inspections by the English continued into the Summer that year and Ian was taken with them when they left in early June. Jenny and I rode for hours that night to find where they’d taken him. They came to a clearing where camp had been made and Ian was sleeping in the cage-like apparatus they’d put him in. We took the horses back a safe distance and walked back to the camp.

“Go on, see what can be done to get him out and I will stand guard.” I said to Jenny. Strong capable Jenny had been out of sorts when they’d taken Ian.

“What do ye mean?” Jenny whispered back.

“Get on your hands and knees and go talk to your husband to find out what he thinks about escape. I have knives here, I will keep a watch out.” I responded.

Jenny found her Jenny face, that look that would murder the person who hurt her family and went. I kept watch but no one moved. The soldiers were at their ease compared to before the Culloden.

It wasn’t long before Jenny came back and she looked better.

“He says no, to go home.” Jenny said.

“What?!” I replied, astonished.

“They dinna have murder planned, just push him to see if he will give up Jamie. Ian said for us to go home and hire men to patrol for him in a few days when they give up because they already took his wooden leg.” Jenny replied and already started to leave. I saw red for a minute, and it wasn’t from a coat. I really wanted to hurt the men who’d turned my Jamie and likely Murtagh into wild things just so they could feel safe . 

“Jenny,’ I whispered.

“Claire, I willna disobey my husband now.” Jenny said and waved.

“No, I have food to give him. I will be right behind you.” I said.

I crawled up to Ian’s… cage (because that was the best word for it) and promised him I would take Jenny home and stay home myself. I gave him the whiskey to drink and pulled out all the food I had with me.

“I’m so sorry Ian.” I whispered.

“It won’t be too bad, and I am braw thanks to you.” He held up his arms a bit which were strong. “I can take it. Now off with ye Claire.” Ian nodded to me and I left.

Jenny was waiting for me. “What?”

“I just gave him the food and whiskey I had.” I told her.

“Good, good plan.” Jenny nodded and we set off for the mile walk.

When we got home we released Garia and Robina (because she hadn’t found the courage yet and the wedding was in two months) from duty to go to bed after talking to the girls and getting their approval to stay at Lallybroch for a while. Jenny sent one of the stable lads to each of their homes with a message for their folk that they would be needed for a week and they would be paid accordingly. 

Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab had made some biscuits and tea and called for Jenny and I to come to the kitchen. They were sitting at the table, but stood and nodded to each of us.

“What’s the plan Mistress Murray?” Mrs. Macnab asked.

The four of us sat down and talked. Jenny and I gave them the facts and the plan we’d come up with riding home. Mrs. Crook and Mrs. Macnab were clear on their parts and made plans for more food. They also gave suggestions for extra riders to find Ian in two days time.

The third day since Ian had been taken saw Jenny standing in the dooryard scanning the sky for black smoke. The person who found Ian would make a fire and send black smoke to the sky to signal Ian had been found. Jenny wasn’t paying the riders, they’d all volunteered and just asked for food and a horse.

“Claire!” Jenny yelled for me, seeing black smoke in the sky. Jenny got on a horse and basically flew. I ran inside to get medical supplies ready.

Ian was found quickly, which meant the wounds were still fresh when Jenny got him to my table. I bound the two broken ribs, set his broken finger, cleaned and stitched up the cuts on his chest and arms.

“Thank ye Claire, I’m going to check the fields.” Ian said and started to stand.

Jenny got the one other person out of the room before she started on him, but I wished I had left also.

“Look ye here man, I’ve taken care of the fields and all ye chores. Ye will stay put till ye heal.” Jenny was very firm.

“Are ye going to give me ye’re mending basket so I can stay in the house all day? Nothin’ doing!” Ian said back.

I was able to tiptoe out of the room.

“All day?!” Jenny’s voice was still heard through the walls. “You’ll be in the house all week!”

~~~~~

September 1746

“I collected as much information I could find about this type of travel before I came back and it amounted to 3 small books. It seems like it might be possible.” I whispered to Jenny. The pair was supposedly just getting a breath of fresh air.

“Seems like it might?” Jenny repeated back to her. “Sounds risky. I like the idea of them living a normal life but it might be a pipe dream.” Jenny said. We walked for a minute before she added, ”Ian thinks it is Jamie and Murtagh’s decision, but in their shoes he said he would go.” She finished and looked in the distance.

“Could I get a message to Jarrod?” I asked.

“In France?” Jenny said.

“Yes, I think I know another traveler, maybe Jarod could make inquiries about where this man is now.. I think he knows more than I do about this.” I said.

“Aye, get it written.” Jenny said and we headed back to the house.

I wrote what I thought was a clever note; I asked that Jarrod let it be known Madonna is looking for Master Raymond and she can be found at home.

“Madonna?” Janny said and looked at me.

“It’s what he called me.” I replied and shrugged, embarrassed. 

Jenny went to the village to post the letter. She looked around and wished she’d brought more coin because the residents were in rough shape. She resolved to get me and come back with food and medical supplies. When we took it took three days to get through all the medical needs.

Spring and summer that year had been very busy with planting. All the seeds and money I brought meant this year would be a record harvest and we were well on their way to achieving just that.

At the end of September Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie and I were at the table when Ian excused himself to go over the books for tomorrow. It was quarter day tomorrow and all the tenants were due to bring rent.

“What if we don’t collect rents?” Jenny asked Ian.

“What?” Ian said looking at her.

“No one has them, now do they? What if instead of tryin’ to get rents they dinna have, we gave out food?” Jenny said.

Ian looked puzzled. “You could say, you know times are trying and we’ve reduced our needs and had a good harvest so you don’t need to collect it all this quarter.” Ian was still looking puzzled but I added, “Or say whatever you want to say.” I finished with a practiced flourish. I produced the remaining two bags of coins from my original show of coins to Jenny.

“Nae lass, that’s yours, for the children.” Ian said.

“No, it’s ours. And I think we should use it instead of collecting rent.” I said.

“I dinna want our tenants to think we mean to not to take our due.” Ian replied. He thought about it… “What if we half it for the quarter, but let it be known next quarter will be normal?” Ian said, happy with a compromise.

Jenny and I looked at each other. I could see it in Jenny’s face, _I told ye so_ , she was telling me. Jenny said we should with none and settle for half.

“I think that’s very generous Ian. May we still pass out food?” I asked.

“Of course.” Ian nodded and left the us. 

The nights were lonely. Jamie occasionally stopped in our bedroom when he dropped off food to look at his children. They were growing so rapidly. One night in early October I happened to be awake and rocking Alex who was getting over a fever.

“Oh, och.” Jamie made the Scottich sound in surprise and put his dirk away.

“Jamie, come in, please don’t leave.” I got up and was ready to beg if needed.

Jamie had the door half closed, but he stopped. Slowly, ever so slowly he walked back into his bedroom he shared with Claire and closed the door.

“Aye.” Jamie said and stood there.

“Shush--” I said to Alex and sat down in the rocker. I motioned to one of the blue chairs and Jamie sat.

“Claire, If ye wanna-” Jamie started but I had begun to speak at the same time.

“I may have a way for you to travel through the stones with me. Now you” I said and waited for my message to kick in.

Jamie looked puzzled. He said quietly,”I was going to tell ye if ye wanted to remarry I willna cause a fuss.” Jamie was still thinking about the possibility.

“James Fraser!” I whispered furiously. “If I wasn’t holding our sick son I would strike you! I don’t want to remarry-” I said, but it was Jamie’s turn to cut me off.

“Sick? What’s wrong with our bairn?” Jamie dropped everything he was holding and went to the corner to wash. He took off his coat and shirt then pulled his good shirt out from the drawer and put it on. I saw he was even thinner than before. Jamie came back and took Alex from my arms.

“He had an ear infection. It’s getting better, but he is still not happy about it.” I said and sat in the blue chair pulling my legs up.

“Och now son, ye been causing a kebbie lebbie here?” He continued to make small noises and watched his son fall asleep. Even after all these months of only small touches in the night he could still sooth his son. Jamie looked at Brianna; she liked him less, probably on her mother’s account. Jamie smiled. 

(Jamie’s POV)

I looked back at Claire and she was asleep. I put my son back in his cradle and carried my wife to bed. I walked around the room for a while thinking.

_This is my time, how can I leave it? Is it a sin to leave the time God put me? That took a long time to ponder and I eventually concluded it depends on why I would leave my time.. If I went to Claire’s time what would be my reason? I looked at my bairns, they would be the first reason. If life continues in this way, they willna ken me when they grow up. I would be their Da even if they didna ken me. Maybe they willna be my first reason. Claire. God gave me that rare woman, and I have to stay away. Before last Christmas I was doing okay coming home at night but when the surprise inspections started I had too many close calls. Too much to risk. Is it right to stay away from her if there is a chance I can be her husband again?_

_Would I go to Claire’s time…?_


	13. Making Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,
> 
> To those who didn't want Jamie to travel to Claire's time - I'm sorry. I ask that you stick with me a bit. There is a reason and you will see it.
> 
> To those who are excited to see Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh look at automobiles - you're in luck!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you are enjoying the story.
> 
> ~As always your opinions are most welcome, and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

The next day I woke in bed looking around. Had he really been there or was it a dream? I got up to look out the window and saw the sun trying to push itself up on this cold October morning.

“Aye Sassenach, I will go.” Jamie said softly.

I startled, pulled my sgian dubh, and got in the crouching position Angus had taught me, what felt like ages ago. 

“Verra good Sassenach, but it is just me.” I looked up to see Jamie sitting in one of the blue chairs he’d moved against the wall. His face was clean and he’d shaved.

“What did you say?” I asked. Being startled in the morning must be top on the list of reasons for befuddlement.

“I will go, I want my family back ye ken, I will go.” Jamie said softly, but his voice was firm.

I walked over to him, kneeled at his feet and put my face in his lap. “Thank you Jamie, I don’t know for sure-”

I was interrupted by Jenny opening my door, “Jamie!” She had a soft look on her face but it cleared quickly. “Someone’s in the dooryard!” Jenny said and motioned him to follow her. Jamie went to the priesthole and I got dressed and took care of the children. I hoped it wasn’t the English, they were so insistent and I was angry just looking at them. They tended to rifle through everything; like Jamie might be found in a stack of quilts. My stomach had just started to growl when Jenny opened the door,

“Claire, there is someone here-” Jenny was interrupted when Master Raymond pushed through.

“Madonna!” Master Raymond came into the room and hugged me. I stood still, just stunned he was here.

“How are you my darling? After Faith I worried- is this Brian and Brianna?” Master Raymond said and Jenny made the sign of the cross.

“How do you know their names?” I asked after he hugged me again. Instead of answering he looked at Jenny.

“Oh, I ken, and more than that I’m staying. Ian!” Jenny said and yelled for her husband.

“Jenny?” Ian said, coming into my room and giving Master Raymond a stern look.

“Please get the kitchen help and Garia (Because Robina never did get the courage but her soon to be husband did) outside to do laundry and keep the house empty.” Jenny said with her eyes constantly on Master Raymond.

“Aye.” Ian replied and left. 

It was silent for a few minutes then Jenny nodded to Master Raymond and he continued.

“I know their names because Madonna, time is fluid. You know this, why do you need me?” he asked and made faces at the babies.

“Well, there are two and maybe three (Jenny gave me a look, but I hadn’t talked to her about Fergus) people I want to take with me who can’t hear the stones. How is it done?” I asked. Murtagh hadn’t been consulted yet, but his answer had always been to follow Jamie.

Master Raymond laughed. “Madonna, twenty generations from you, your line will still be able to travel! Do not worry!” He said and pulled from his jacket pocket a small rock. He put the small rock in each of the twins hand’s. Alex and Brianna both yelled and attempted to throw the little rock placed in their hands. I went to pick it up and promptly felt drawn, like someone was trying to speak to me through the little rock.

“You see, it is not a problem.” Master Raymond summed. 

“Claire!” Jenny yelled and crossed herself again. Master Raymond whipped a powder from his pocket and blew it in my face.

“Sit, sit!” Master Raymond sat me in the rocking chair.

“What happened?” Jenny asked while she was holding my hand and rubbing the red spot.

“Madonna....” Master Raymond signed and waved a hand. “It is a long explanation and time is short.'' He said and paced in my room for a minute. “There are preparations to be made.” Master Raymond said and nodded, like he came to understand something. My hand was still smoking and Jenny was looking at it.. 

“Uh, thank you.” I said trying not to be sick.

“You are very welcome Madonna.” Master Raymond replied and looked at me. “You are not worried about your babies...who are you thinking of taking with you?” He asked me.

“Does it matter?” I asked trying to understand his manner which seemed peculiar. Thinking of my time in France, he was always peculiar.

“Their ages matter. The older they are, the harder it is to travel. Do you want to go to your time or somewhere in between?” He was looking at me, staring almost, like he was sizing me up.

I looked at Jenny but she didn’t catch my question. “I have no idea how old Murtagh is…” Jenny shrugged “Thirty eight? Forty? Something like that. I think my time, I have a few friends who will help us.” I nodded, thinking of dear Violet.

He was quiet for a few moments and seemed to work out something. “I will send someone in four days time, will that be long enough to get things together?”Master Raymond stood.

“Ye canna help them yer self?” Jenny asked.

“Is it possible?” I pushed for an answer.

Master Raymond looked at both of us and smiled. “I am afraid I have a previous engagement, Mistress Murry.” He said to Jenny.

“And you already know that it is possible Madonna, four days, don’t forget.” Master Raymond kissed me on both cheeks and went to kiss Jenny, who waved him away. 

Master Raymond bowed and left the room. A few minutes later we heard his horse leaving.

“Is it possible?” Jenny asked me.

I slowly nodded, “Yes.” I replied. Jenny sat like she was waiting for more but eventually just got up and went to get Jamie out of the priest hole.

Jamie left and said he would return at nightfall with Murtagh. Jenny said she would send Garia and Mrs. Crook home early. Mrs. Macnab was already off that day. 

Jenny and I talked all day. I couldn’t believe I might be without her soon. In the year or so I’ve been home she’s been my sister and a true friend. The only one I’ve ever really had. I think I’ve influenced her to be a little soft occasionally, and she’s influenced me to shore up my fireceness.

She wanted to know what it was like traveling through the stones and I didn’t really have a good explanation. I told her it was like rolling down a long hill in a carriage and people are screaming all around you. It was actually much worse, but I didn’t want to give her that detail.

“Are ye worriet about Fergus? Is that why ye are thinking of taking him wit’ ye?” She asked me when we were outside walking a bit before dinner. We often walked before dinner when we could, it was our fifteen minutes without children to digest the day.

“No, I know you will care for him like one of your own, you already have.” I took her hand and she nodded. “It’s just that I feel like I have missed so much time with him already. And I don’t know how well he will do without Jamie.” Jenny nodded and just then Fergus came out of the bush.

“Maybe you should ask him Milady.” Fergus said and gave a bow with leaves in his hair. I still loved the french lilt in his voice.

“Why are ye listening to us? Ye know better Fergus.” Jenny asked him and fussed with him, pulling leaves out of his air. “Ye’re lucky I don’t box ye’re ears for ye.”

“Oui, I know, and I am sorry, but a Frenchman was here to visit today, and no one asked me if I wanted to speak with a fellow countryman.” Fergus said and I could tell he really was hurt. 

“I’m sorry Fergus, it was a brief visit and he didn’t have a lot of time.” I said and rubbed his back in apology. I looked at Jenny and she nodded. I sat on a nearby trunk so I was eye level.

“Fergus, Jamie and I are planning to go-” I started but he cut me off.

“Wherever you are going I should go to protect you. If Milord is going I should go to help him. When do we leave?” He said. He had one foot poised as if ready to run. “I need only a little time to pack.” He said and looked at Jenny and I.

“Where they are going, Fergus, it is far ye ken, and ye won’t be back for some years. It’s different where they will be and when ye get back home ye can’t talk about where-” Jenny was explaining but Fergus cut her off.

“I am a frenchman and discretion is in my blood!” Fergus said, almost upset that Jenny was implying otherwise.

I stood up, “I will talk to Milord about it tonight, I will let you know what he says.” I dusted my hands and gave him a small hug. Jenny or Jamie had the final word for Fergus. I knew that. I had been gone and he’d attached to Jenny in my absence. 

We had dinner and it was very quiet. Ian and Jenny kept looking at me. Fergus kept looking at me even though wee Jamie was making joke after joke. Thankfully the twins were fusing and I sent Garia home. 

Around midnight that night I was just getting Brianna settled when Jamie knocked gently at the door. He knocked. 

I put my shawl around my shoulders as I didn’t think it would be my husband knocking. But I opened the door to Jamie.

“Yes?” I looked at him; he was cleaner than he’d been in months.

“Murtagh and I are here, we have questions.” He said. Then he nodded to me and walked away.

I sighed. I guess I was meant to follow.

“Murtagh, you look wonderful!” He was sitting in the parlor and he was very clean as well.

“Aye lass.” He’s gotten up to give me a hug. “We thought if we were going to be around people again...” He trailed off and patted my shoulder and motioned for me to sit.

I sat down and Jamie started. “Will we have to stay forever?” He was looking at the floor as he spoke.

“No, we can stay for as long as you both are comfortable, then we can come back.” They both looked at me for a moment after I said this so I added, “I left when I thought you were gone Jamie, I will be fine to come back. I will miss home as well, this is home. It is just an idea to keep you both safe.” I made a motion for the next question.

“Does England rule Scotland in your time?” Murtagh asked me.

I thought for a minute before I answered. “Yes, officially Scotland is part of England,” Jamie and Murtagh both became deflated, “But it isn’t anything like it is now. There is no English presence except for tourists, it is more of an agreement.” They still looked dubious. “You can wear your kilt wherever you want.” They were happy about that.

“How will we know Jenny, Ian and their bairnes will be okay?” It was Jamie who asked that.

It took me a minute to answer because I could feel the tears well, “I don’t know, I’m going to make sure everyone in the house is inoculated and teach Jenny how to use the penicillin, I’ll take everything that could get her in-” I couldn’t finish, I broke down crying. How could I leave Jenny? I heard someone coming down the steps and stood up, Jamie and Murtagh had run.

She walked in the parlor and hugged me. “How will I leave you?” I asked, crying. She hugged me fiercely.

“ Claire, ye will go to keep ye’re man, and Murtagh safe. I will rest easy when I know they are safe.” She paused here and looked a bit vulnerable here, “ Ye do what ye need to to keep the family safe, ya ken?” She looked me right in the eyes and I was reminded of our trip when we went to get Jamie after he’d been taken by the English when he was out with the watch. A tear leaked out of her right eye and she whispered, “I will miss ye Sister, I will miss ye mightily, but I thank ye fer getting my brother to safety.” She hugged me and turned to the men who’d come back, still holding my hand.

“Ye know the best option is going. The trip is painful and the other side is unknown, but ye both know ye have to go. Now, go to bed! The watch left today, tonight is safe enough.” Jenny hugged me one more time and went to bed.

I smiled after her; I greatly admired her strength.

When Jamie and I were in the bedroom he took a blanket and was going to sleep on the floor.

“Jamie,...” But I didn’t know what to say. It had been a long time and I felt confused.

“Sassenach, dinna fash, let's sleep.” Jamie said. He took a cushion off one of the chairs and lay down between the cradles to sleep. I watched him for a minute. I usually brought the cradles next to the bed, but I didn’t want to disturb him. It would seem like I didn’t trust him near the twins and I didn’t want to risk conveying that message. I went to bed.

“I will wake if the bairns wake, dinna fash.” Jamie said.

I nodded, not thinking he couldn’t see my head, and blew out the candle.

The next few days were very busy. I finished giving Jenny, Ian, wee Jamie, Margaret and Katherine the vaccinations I had. They were safe from smallpox, diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis. I taught Jenny how to give penicillin and why; this took a whole day. I also left some aspirin and a medical book Jenny was interested in reading. I left all the money and the fabric. Jenny almost cried when she realized how much money I actually brought back with me. She tried to give it back to me but I made her keep it and promise me to use it to keep as many people as possible fed and well.

With Jenny’s help to distract them I was able to give the stable lads, Mrs. Crook, Garia and Mrs. Macnab a smallpox vaccine. They were surprised at how quick the bloodletting was, but wrote it off to my skill. I chafed at giving people vaccinations who were unaware they were getting them, but even more so to let people think I believed in bloodletting.

In the end it was decided Fergus could decide to go or stay himself. Jamie said he was old enough to make the decision alone. I made sure he knew if he went he couldn’t even write letters where we would be. He decided to go. 

Jenny and I spent all the time we had in each other’s company. I told her Lallybroch stood in my time and we devised several ways she could write letters and let me know everyone was safe. Of course I had no way to write to her.

At sunrise on the fourth day a wagon pulled into the dooryard causing a panic. Jamie and Murtagh went to the priest holes and Ian and Jenny went outside. I was sitting on a blue chair in my bedroom looking around. I recalled the first time Jamie and I made love after I’d been back. I remembered the time I foolishly demanded going to see his cave. There was almost a year of life in this room. This was the only home my children had ever known. They are just starting to try to walk; they like going from chair to chair.

“Claire.” Jenny called for me. I took a big breath and wiped my tears away. 

“Coming.” I called back.


	14. Traveling to travel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers,
> 
> This chapter is shorter than I would like but I wanted to move the story along a bit.   
> Thank you to everyone who is reading! 
> 
> Your comments are always welcome and Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

Jenny and Ian were standing in the parlor about six foot away from a middle aged Native American man. They were both staring at him like he was a ghost . 

I went up to him and held out my hand, “Hello, I’m Claire Fraser.” he smiled and shook my hand.

“Hello, my name is Ahote.” He said in a slight accent that I couldn't place. He leaned in and whispered, “Would you please let them know I won’t eat them.” I looked over and gave the calm down gesture. Ahote chuckled a bit and whispered,”Do they know?”

“Yes, they are completely aware.” I replied. I looked back over to Jenny and Ian; they were still nervous. I made introductions and we sat down to make polite conversation.

“I have a gift from Master Raymond, it’s best I explain it now.” Ahote said and ruffled through his pack. He took out 2 long rocks that were each flat on one side and looked to be filled with silver and diamonds. He gave one to me and one to Jenny. She took it hesitantly. 

“Is that-” I was cut off by Ahote.

“Yes, it is silver and diamonds. Please don’t remove anything from the rocks, do I have your word?” Ahote said and looked at me and Jenny. We both nodded.

“No, I won’t remove anything. What- ooh” I felt it. I felt a rock but it was more than just a rock. It surprised me; it was different somehow.

Ahote asked Jenny to hold onto the other rock, and she did.. He took out a small piece of blank paper and handed it to me.

“Send it through the rock.” Ahote said.

“What?” I looked at a rock and a folded piece of paper in my hands. Send?

Ahote took my hands in his and put the paper to the rock and it disappeared through it.

“Oh!” Jenny said and I saw her crossing herself and I saw why. The paper had come through the rock.

“Saints preserve us.” Jamie said. He and Murtagh had peaked around the corner.

Ahote started to explain, “This is just traveling of objects. If people can travel, why not objects? You didn’t arrive naked did you?” He asked and I shook my head no. “You don’t need a certain day of the year to send letters because there is no life. This works about once each way every six or seven days. After you send something, the silver and diamonds become dull. When they are shiny again they will work.” He finished.

“We will be able to write!” I went to Jenny and hugged her.

“I dinna know my good Sister, a magic rock? Are ye sure this isnna evil?” She asked me. We were still hugging just talking to each other.

“It is not evil, but please wrap it well and hide it, promise?” I asked

“Aye, it will be well hidden. How will I know when to send something?” Jenny whispered in my ear.

I broke the hug and was going to ask Ahote but I turned back to Jenny.

“We can send things on Sunday night, before bed.” I said to Jenny.

“Ah, no,” Ahote started. “You,” He motioned to Jenny, “Can hold things to the rock as often as you like but it will not go through. Ma-Claire has to be on the other side to pull them to her or push them through to you.” Ahote said.

“Ten pm on Sunday nights” I said and handed over my two watches to Jenny. “This you wind and please keep it safe.” It was Uncle Lambs pocket watch that was inscribed. “This one you must keep hidden.” I handed her my quartz watch that was a gift from Frank. It was modern and would get them in trouble.

“You can send paper through and very small objects. Metal is fine, coins, ...buttons… things of that nature. Nothing alive, not even plants or seeds.” Ahote looked at me, “Dead leaves and roots are fine, as long as they are dead.” I was surprised because this was exactly what I was thinking.

“Any questions?” Ahote said and looked at Jenny and I. We both shook our heads no.

“The sooner we get on the road, the better. I will wait outside so you may say your goodbyes.” Ahote said and went back outside.

“Fergus” I said to no one inparticular.

“I’ll go get the lad’” Murtagh said.

Jamie went to Ian and I went to Jenny. 

I hugged her again,” I love you Jenny.” I whispered in her ear.   
“Aye, I love ye Claire.” She hugged me tighter and let go a bit to look me in the eyes. “Ye stay safe, and strong. Keep those three in line.” She hugged me again “And try to bring me back another niece or nephew.” She said and we both laughed.

“We will be back.” I said with strength in my voice.

We switched and I hugged Ian. He thanked me and told me to come back when we could and that I was always welcome. Jenny and Jamie said a very teary- turned stubborn-goat goodbye.

Murtagh came down the steps with a sleepy Fergus. They both said their goodbyes to Ian and Jenny.

“I told wee Jamie that I was going with Milady and he said he would see me tomorrow.” Fergus reported to Jenny with a shrug.

Ahote made a surprise reappearance. “There is a bit of information you all should be aware of,” he paused and looked at us to be sure we were paying attention. “ I’d thought to just tell the travelers, but I think you should all know.” He looked at Jamie and I, then Murtagh and Fergus. The twins were still in their cradles but he glanced at them also. “You all must return in four years.” Ahote finished. 

There was silence for a while, then Murtagh spoke up. “I dinna suppose ye can tell us why?” He said.

There was silence for about thirty seconds and Ahote said,”There will be things that must happen here and you must ready yourself. That can’t be accomplished where you are going.” He nodded and went back outside.

“Four years it is then.” I said and broke the silence. I looked around at surprised faces. “We will be fine.” I said.

No one said anything, there were more hugs and we made our way out. I brought the twins out and Jamie and Murtagh carried our things. 

Ahote had a wagon with a cover and three horses tied up. Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh rode while the babies and I rode with Ahote. There were strange little seats Ahote brought for them in the wagon that rocked with the movement. They were asleep in minutes which was good as it took fifteen minutes for my tears to clear.

We took a different way than I knew. It would take us an extra five days I learned and when I asked Ahote he only told me that the route we took would be safely deserted. We traveled slowly due to the babies.

When we stopped to eat and sleep, Jamie didn’t sit next to me or lay with me. He would stare at me, often. At night Ahote slept closest to me, but not with me; I think because he woke up with the babies at night and I think he figured he might as well help me.

It was a long sad journey. I frequently scribbled small notes to Jenny on the little bit of paper I had. On Sunday night I sent them all through at once. I sat for about an hour watching the fire and trying to pull through something. Finally, I got something! Her’s was a proper letter:

_ To my good Sister, _

_ It hasna been more than a few hours since ye left, but I miss ye already.  _

_ Mrs. Macnab came to work today. Sister, would ye please box Murtagh’s ears for me? It seems there was some carrying on betwixt the two of ‘em and he nae told her he was ‘takin a trip’ ya ken? I had to explain something to her but she is upset.  _

_ This morning one of the stable lads almost cut his finger clean off. I fervently wished for ye Sister. In ye’re absence I did the cleaning, stitchin’ and the wrapping. I also gave a shot, incase of infection. He had a sore bottom after, but he is doing very well. I miss ye. _

_ I keep thinking about buttons…? Would ye maybe send me one? I’m wondering why he mentioned buttons. _

_ All of ye are in my prayers. I think ye’ll have a difficult road ahead and I pray we made the right choice.  _

_ Claire, I miss ye terribly. _

_ Love, Jenny _

After I read it, I read it again. I was crying and I held it to my chest and hugged it. After a few minutes I looked up because I heard movement. It was Jamie.

“Claire, are ye sick?” He asked and sat down. Six feet away from me.

“No, I’m fine. I have a letter from Jenny, would you like to read it?” I smoothed it out and offered it to him.

“If it is ye’re letter-” Jamie began to refuse it but I cut him off.   
“For goodness sakes Jamie,” I stood up and put it in his hand. When I touched him it felt like an electric current went through me and I was almost upset with myself. “I am your wife and this is a letter from your sister. I don’t mind sharing it.” I finished and sat down.

He read it and I could see it touched him too. He almost smiled, likely at the bit about boxing Murtagh’s ears. He finished it and handed it back to me.

“No mention of me.” He said.

“We’ve been gone less than a week. We didn’t see you on a weekly basis.” I said. I didn’t want to argue. Yes, I was hurt and angry but I needed to curtail emotion. We would come to the stone circle soon and I needed to be able to pull three people through somehow.

That night he slept closer to me than he had been. Still not with me. It was a step I kept reminding myself.

We made it to Friday; a week and a half since we left Lallybroch. Ahote said we’d make camp around noon which was surprising. 

“Why do we need to stop so early in the day?” I asked Ahote while I sat in the wagon rocking both of the twins.

“It is three days until you go through the stones. You need to sleep and eat meat.” Ahote said. Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh heard him and Jamie got in the wagon to try to pick up his children. As soon as he got in Alex’s view the baby cried.

Jamie stood there frozen. I felt so bad for him, but before I could say something he got out of the wagon.

“Murtagh and I will hunt.” Jamie said and hit Murtagh in the shoulder, then they were off. 

Ahote, now a familiar face to the twins, and Fergus got them off the wagon.

“See if you can sleep.” Ahote said. 

I would like to say I stayed awake and tried to help Jamie get acquainted with the twins. I didn’t. I fell fast asleep.

It was dark before I woke up. “Milady, the twins need you.” Fergus was shaking my foot.

I jumped up and got off the wagon in record time. I went straight to the twins who were absolutely fine. Murtagh was holding Brianna and Fergus had Alex standing by the wagon.

“To feed them, was the rest of what I was saying.” Fergus said. He was standing there trying not to laugh. I smiled and thanked him, then I took Alex from him and asked for something to drink. 

I breastfed my babies, then got one of the potatoes Jenny had packed for me.

“Would ye please put this in the fire.” I asked Jamie. He was used to this request and took it before I finished asking him. 

I left the area to find a place to pee. I wouldn’t miss this part, having an indoor toilet was one things I was looking forward to.

I came back slowly, enjoying the silence. I would have to make sure they understood the noise that came with the twentieth century. 

Jamie met me by the trees at the edge of our little area.

“Are ye okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I was just stretching my legs.” I said, trying not to be defensive.

“The potato is cooked and I peeled it, do ye have breastmilk for the bowl?” He asked and handed me the bowl.

I was standing behind him and was shielded from view of the others except my head. I quickly decided on an act of boldness to try to stir life back in my husband and handed him back the bowl. I had only a few buttons and I could pull the chest area of my dress up and my breasts were exposed. 

“Sassenach!” He said and started to move.

“Jamie, if you move everyone can see me. Hold the bowl over here.” I said. He stayed where he was and if anything his shoulders seemed to get wider in an effort to hide me. He held the bowl under my right breast and I played with the nipple a bit to coax milk. When the milk started to come I stroked the length of my breast and it was spurting. Jamie never moved his eyes.

When at last my right one stopped, I started playing with my left nipple. Did I take it a step too far because I knew I had one hundred percent of Jamie’s attention? You bet I did. I played with my left nipple even after the milk started a bit. I already had plenty in the bowl to make the mashed potato I wanted to give the twins but Jamie was practically panting. I milked my left breast a bit and when the bowl was practically full I turned so I could empty my breast in the ground.

“Sassenach, may I? Please?” Jamie asked. His face was red and I could see he was hard.

I looked around and took a few steps back nodding. We walked back a little more until we were out of site and he was very hesitant at first. But he was also eager and went at my breast hungrily, and not for sustenance. When my breast was empty he put his forehead to mine and we just breathed. I took a step back.

“I have to feed the twins.” I said and left him there. I didn’t know what else to say to him, I felt like he was the one who needed to be talking to me.

The twins loved their baked potato and breast milk and ate greedily. They reminded me of their Father. I ate after them and Ahote gave me a skin of his water. It was clear and crisp and I drank it all.

Murtagh was teaching Fergus to play poker. I wanted to say he was too young to learn but Fergus was really good at it so I stayed quiet. It was funny when he beat Murtagh.

I got back in the wagon and nursed the twins until they fell asleep. I decided to sleep in the wagon that night.


	15. Faith and Murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my Readers,
> 
> This chapter was extremely fun to write and I hope everyone enjoys the twists.
> 
> As always, I appreciate all comments and Diana Gabaldon owns Outlander

The next day I woke up right before sunset and I was astonished that the twins were still asleep. I was so used to their five hour nights I was on their schedule. I watched them for a few minutes until my bladder required attending too. I got up and found Jamie awake. We looked at each other for a solid minute, which, I found, is a long time to look at someone.

“I need to go pee.” I said and then could’ve smacked my forehead. How romantic. I have to pee.

“I will watch our bairns,” He whispered.

I went into the bushes thinking frantically. Yes, I was upset at Jamie but I think his actions over the past months have been his way to keep us safe. He was also beating himself up about something; I didn’t know what but it was something that had plagued him since I’d come home.

I found a nice secluded spot, emptied my bladder, then went to the stream and gathered water to bring back and boil. 

I came back to our little campsite and saw Alex had woken up and Jamie was entertaining him with bouncing and making funny faces. 

“Ah, Sassenach, I’ve been able to convince this young lad to forget his hunger for a few minutes.” Jamie said and smiled. I stood and stared; it’d been so long since I saw a genuine smile on Jamie’s face. I think he caught himself, and straightened his features.

“I need-” I was going to ask for a bowl with a crushed up bannock in it so I could express my milk into the bowl. Before I could express my request Jamie handed me the bowl with a crushed bannock. 

“Aye, when do ye think we can give them parritch?” Jamie asked. He had Alex giggling at his antics.

“Very soon, if you would like them to have it.” I said to Jamie. I’d never developed a taste for it but Jamie liked it. I wanted him to feel like he had an input, a voice in the raising of his children, even with the small details. 

I went back to the wagon and expressed milk into the bowl and mixed it up with the bannock. I handed the bowl back to Jamie who was surprised, but pleased to get the job of trying to get the mushy bannock into his son. 

Brianna fussed and I went to her. I changed her clout and nursed her for a few minutes but she wanted something more substantial. Nursing for Brianna had recently become an exercise in calming more than nourishment. I sat her next to her brother to get some of the bannock, but to my surprise the bowl was empty. I looked up at Jamie.

“We shared a bit.” He said and was a bit pink in the cheeks. Ahote had seen this exchange, he didn’t say anything but he put another bannock in the bowl and went into the bushes. I saw the smile on his face as he walked by. 

I got something to drink and Jamie broke it up. I expressed into the bowl as I had done before in the wagon and handed him the bowl. Alex wanted to nurse for a while and I gladly took him to my breast. I felt like a milk dispenser, but it was handy for the twins. 

I had an odd sensation of breastfeeding another child. A girl. Maybe just a dream popping up in my mind of Faith. I shook my head a bit to clear it. I’d had the sensation before but it always surprised me.

Alex was finished and he burped easily. Murtagh and Fergus made an appearance and Alex went straight for Fergus. It was cute watching them play; Fergus had the patience of a saint. He took his job as a big brother very seriously. 

The morning passed as we all ate and talked but I could feel Ahote was tense. As soon as the twins were down for their nap I was able to gather the five of us by the fire.

No one said anything.

“Ahote.” I said and nodded.

“Yes?” He said, looking questioning.

“I am guessing we are going through tomorrow on Samhain. Do you need to tell us anything about that?” I said. It felt like I was pulling teeth.

“No, we go through at midnight tonight.” He said. Everyone looked at him and it was like Ahote recalled that he was the leader of our small expedition.

“Claire, get the twins off the wagon when they wake up, then you go back to sleep on the wagon. Murtagh, Jamie; we need a rabbit, or a fox, whatever you find. And do not bleed them. Fergus and I will care for the children.” And so were his orders and so we carried them out. I took a three hour nap and ate more meat.

The closer it got to midnight the more you could see how nervous the group was getting. I was trying not to be tense, but to remind myself I was prepared. I knew what to expect. Nightfall came and we rode for about two hours before we came to the hill the stones were on. I knew. I heard the buzzing from half a mile away. I think it was louder because of Samhain.

Ahote went up the hill to leave the note for Mrs. Graham. I was hoping she would meet us, but I don’t know how wee Roger’s trip was handled. She may very well be upset with me.

I turned to Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus. They were eagerly looking at me.

“There are a lot of differences that we will take as they come.” I looked at them all. “It is hard to be out of your time but there are conveniences.” I smiled hopefully.

“Like not having to worry about the English.” Fergus said to a resounding ‘Aye’ from Jamie and Murtagh.

“Traveling through the stones will be the hardest part. You have to think about where you’re going or it will be more difficult to pull you through. Since you don’t have a clear picture of where we are going just think of the year, 1949.” I said. They all nodded at me. Fergus had Alex asleep in his arms and I had Brianna. We were as ready as we could be.

Ahote came down the hill and motioned us to follow him to the wagon. He opened a bag he had and took out a handful of precious stones. “Pick out something to wear, a gemstone helps the passage.” Ahote stood back and saw we all had something, even the twins. He put the remaining stones back in his bag and found two lengths of cloth.

“When we get to the top of the hill I will wrap this around the twins so it is easier to hold on to them.” He was looking at Murtagh and Jamie.

I touched Ahote’s arm, “I will carry the twins.” I said.

Ahote shook his head, “No Madonna, you cannot, it will only work if they carry them through.” I realized he’d slipped on my name.

I wanted to carry my own children but, I will have to trust them. I looked at Murtagh and Jamie.

“Lass, I will be sure to carry the bairn through or not make it myself.” Murtagh said. That seemed like the appropriate amount of caution. I looked at Jamie and he nodded.

Ahote said, “It is time.” I looked at his watch and it looked to be a few minutes before midnight. I turned and looked at the countryside. The moon was full when we left on our journey so it was fairly dark now, but I could see the outlines of the trees.  _ I will miss the smell of the heather, and the woods and- _ .

“Madonna!” I turned back around and saw Ahote yelling for me. Everyone else had made it up the hill so I wrapped both my arms around Brianna and went up the hill.

A fussing baby girl was taken from me and wrapped tightly around her Father. Alex slept through being taken from Fergus and wrapped around Murtagh. I still didn’t like it. 

Ahote got my hand and brought me near so I could hear him. “I will spread the blood of the rabbit and motion to you when it is time to go.” I nodded.

We lined up as Ahote told us; Fergus, Murtagh, me and then Jamie. I was right in front of the traveling stone. Ahote tightened the fabric holding the babies to Jamie and Murtagh. He looked at me in question and I nodded. Ahote took the rabbit and slit it’s neck putting the blood on the rock. 

Ahote took a step back and nodded at me.

“Hands!” I yelled through the racket of the stone. “Do not let go for any reason!” I said to my group. 

I took a very deep breath and stepped into the rock.

It was immediate chaos. Things bumped into us and I had to wrap my arms around Murtagh and Jamie’s arms because they both immediately let go of me to wrap their arms around the babies to protect them.

“Fergus!” I screamed his name because I felt he wasn’t holding onto Murtagh. He grasped me from behind and I had a hold of his arm with one hand.

My brain was whirring, 1949, Violet, the hospital, 1949, Violet, the hospital. I felt something pulling at the bottom of my skirts and I tried to simultaneously kick it and ignore it. I tightened my grip on Fergus, Murtagh and Jamie. Finally, with everything screaming in my ears I felt it, I was there, I just had to step out. 

Jamie, Brianna, Murtagh, Alex, Fergus and myself tumbled out of a rock into 1949. We were bruised and changed forever for the experience but we were whole. I saw a blue light and struggled to keep my eyes open because I heard my babies crying.

“Master Raymond?” I looked up and he was going over me with a blue light in his hand. And then I felt much better. He took his light to Fergus next who was unconscious.

I unwrapped Brianna from Jamie. She was screaming and he was in bad shape. Master Raymond looked at her and smiled. “Just her head.” He moved his light around her head and she stopped crying. I sat her on the ground because she wanted down. 

Master Raymond continued with his blue light until everyone was doing much better. When I finally got my bearings I stood up and turned around to see Violet and Reverend Wakefield with open mouths.

“Violet!” I started to her but turned when Master Raymond held onto me. I looked at my group, everyone was fine; Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus, Brianna and Alex were all awake and looking at me. I started to make introductions when Master Raymond sprinkled a powder on me, wrapped my arm in his and just as I heard Jamie yelling, took me right back into the stone.

I struggled to get loose but Master Raymond had a vice grip on me. I also thought about trying to get right back where we were, but I think the powder he sprinkled on me prevented me from ‘stirring’ our direction. I did feel less banged up when we finally toppled out of the rock but I was very angry.

“What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing?” I yelled. I was making quite a fuss then he blew another powder on me. Him and his bloody powders, but I lost my fire because I fell asleep.

I don’t know how long I slept but I woke up in the back of a wagon and it took me a minute to get my bearings. It was just getting light out and Master Raymond was driving the horses hard and fast.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?” I yelled at him. He startled and pulled over.

“Madonna, we are almost there, I am glad you are awake now.” He said and stopped the horses so we could talk. He got out of the driver's seat to come to the back.

“If you blow another one of your powders at me-” I started.

“Madonna, lower your voice before we are found. No more powder.” He held up his hands.

“What is going on?” I asked him. I got out of the wagon and stood away from him.

“Please calm down.” I nodded and he continued. “We are in 1734 and we are here to kill Jonothan Wolverton Randall.”

I sat down. Right where I stood. “What?” Maybe I heard wrong, after all he died in Culloden.

“Madonna, I don’t want to tell you a lot about the future, but I have lived multiple time periods multiple ways and your daughter Faith is important to the future.” He said and waited for my reaction. I said nothing but my mind was whirling. “If there is no Black Jack, then you and your husband will have your daughter and she will be healthy. If there is no Black Jack your husband is not as tormented. If there is no Black Jack many, many Scots are not as tormented. And, as you know, he is not actually the ancestor of your first husband so nothing changes there.”

I was slow to respond, but I said, “How, how can we go back in time and change the history of people?” I had no qualms about killing Black Jack, none at all.

“It is not recommended, but this seems to be the one time we should do it.” Master Raymond said. 

“What will happen to Jamie and I and Murtagh? We all have memories of this life with Jack Randall .” I asked.

“The memory will fade, and it will feel like knowledge but without emotions. Like knowing the earth is round; you know it but you never went all the way around it.” He said.

I was nodding my head, “Okay, lets kill him. How do we find him?”

Master Raymond went on to explain that Jack Randell is on his way to Fort William for the first time. As soon as he arrives he goes for refreshments. We are going to Fort William where I will poison his drink.

“Will we get there in time?” I asked. 

“Madonna, look.” Master Raymond said and pointed. We were there, we were at Fort William. I was within sight.

“How?” I asked. 

“Madonna, if you are going to question every one of my tricks we will never make it in time.” He said and waited.

“Okay let's go.” I said.

We went into the fort and straight to the bar area. I saw the tired girl serving drinks and looked at Master Raymond who nodded. He pressed the poison into my pocket.

“I’m ye’re replacement.” I said in my best Scot’s lilt.

“About time.” The girl said and went to the back. I looked back where she went and promptly turned around. She looked like she had the pox and she was about to have sex with a soldier.

I washed some glasses and filled glasses with whiskey, coffee or water. Mostly whiskey. I was beginning to wonder if Master Raymond’s timing was right when I saw Black Jack Randell come in with a group of men. I was momentarily stunned as he looked more like Frank than ever. 

“Woman, have you no sense?” Black Jack Randell stood in front of me snapping. I murmured something and looked down. “Whiskey for my table, and now.” He ordered and I nodded.

He walked back to his table and I counted five men. Five glasses. Four whiskeys and one whiskey and poison. I had already poured the poison in the glass so it wouldn’t look different. I stirred every glass and went to the table and gave out the glasses. I had my bum spanked 3 times and I managed not to spill the whiskey, or smack the men spanking me. I went back to my area and Master Raymond had managed to rouse the girl I’d replaced. She told me to kindly leave, well, maybe not kindly.

Master Raymond and I stood next to the door and appeared to be talking. It took about fifteen minutes but Black Jack started vomiting blood and soon he was on the floor begging for help. It had drawn quite a crowd but I had a good spot and I could see the life leave his eyes as he choked and gasped for air. It was very satisfying. 

“He’s dead, lets go.”Master Raymond whispered and took my elbow and led me outside. The crowd was starting to ask questions of the barmaid.

“But now she will answer for my crime.” I protested.

“She is dying in three days from the pox. They won't have time to do anything to her.” Master Raymond answered as he hurried us to our wagon.

We were away in moments. Master Raymond worked his magic and we were back at the hill of Craigh na Dun within a few hours instead of days.

“How will I find Faith?” I asked thinking again about the primary reason for this murder.

“Come Madonna.” Master Raymond put his bag around him and held his hand out.

I put my hand in his, what else was there to do?

We got to the top and the stones were buzzing loudly. Master Raymond put a necklace on each of us that held a stone.

“I will get us to 1949, you call out for Faith.” He said and I nodded. We walked into the stone and the chaos called for me again.

“Faith, Faith.” I called again and again. I started to cry thinking she was lost in this terrible void and screamed her name with all the energy I had. 

There was silence and calm for just a few seconds after I screamed but it was enough for me to hear a tiny little “Momma?” I honed in on the direction of that tiny voice and I pulled her to me and then we 3 tumbled out of the rock.


	16. There is a lot to be said for a comfortable bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> This chapter is the end of their traveling adventure. Not too much happens, but there is 1 great thing that happens.  
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Thank you for all the wonderful comments! I think my readers are extremely clever! 👏🌷🌷❤️💜❤️ 
> 
> As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius behind Outlander

November 2 1949 if you are in Inverness, Scotland with Claire. 

November 2 1747 if you are Ian or Jenny or part of their crew without Claire.

My head was spinning and my entire body hurt. I was trying to soothe a crying three year old and stand. Faith was holding me around the neck and wasn’t letting me go.

Master Raymond had his blue light out moving it around us and I felt a bit better. Faith quieted down so I am guessing she felt better too. I need to look into getting myself whatever that was he was holding with the blue light.

Master Raymond gave me a hand and I stood up brushing myself off. 

“Sassenach are ye allright … who is that ye got there?” Jamie was getting up. It looked like he’d set up a place to sleep right by the traveling rock and we had rolled right into him.

I took a deep breath; how do I explain this? I turned to Master Raymond and he said, “How do you feel Madonna?”

“I’m okay, foggy but alright.” I answered and looked at Jamie. I wondered what repercussions would surface due to killing Randell and realized I had no idea. I’d committed murder and I didn’t know how this was going to affect my family. All because Raymond told me I would have my first child back.

“I’m braw.” Jamie said and looked confused.

Master Raymond looked back to me and I nodded. He handed me a small package and nodded to me.

“I will find out what I can, and I leave you to explain Madonna. There are instructions.” He nodded to the small package. “I am sure we will meet again very soon.” He kissed me on both cheeks and stepped into the rock. He was gone.

“Faith, baby don’t pull my hair.” I got her little hands out of my hair.

“Faith?” Whispered Jamie. The look of shock on his face was considerable. He crossed himself and said, “Sassenach, what have ye done?”

I put Faith in her Father's arms to answer his question. She whispered, “Da” and hugged him. He closed eyes whispering to one of his saints and hugged her back.

I turned to see Violet when I heard her clear her throat.

“Claire, I am happy to see you.” She stepped away from the Reverend and hugged me. “Now that ye’re here we can go back to the manse. Jamie wouldna leave without you.” She pointed behind her where the twins were asleep in a makeshift bed under a canopy tent. I sighed with relief.

“Thank you Violet, but I don’t want to put you out, or run into anyone.” I couldn’t imagine running into Frank.

“No one else is there but wee Roger, Mrs. Graham and I. There are no visitors expected either. I would be more than happy to have your family stay with us. Please.” The Reverend said. I imagine the historian in him was itching to talk to us.

I glanced at Jamie who gave his odd shrug. He was still shocked at the idea of Faith in the flesh.

“We would be very grateful to stay with you.” I said. I hoped to get a house in the country as soon as possible.

Murtagh and Fergus had stood still during this exchange but Murtagh jumped into action to please Violet. I think a crush had developed in the time I was gone. “Aye, Mistress. I will start the packin’ ‘rrright away.” He said. His ‘Scottish brogue’ actually increased to Violet's pleasure.

Violet and the Reverend had driven both their vehicles which was handy because the party had grown from three to ten. We were packed up and ready to go quickly. I think we were all happy not to see the stones. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had reservations about the automobiles but I was able to get Jamie and Fergus in after promising their safety. Murtagh was ready to wait for a horse but when he saw a seat right next to Violet was available, it helped quite a bit.

Roger had been curled in the back seat sleeping but he was very welcoming to us, and especially Faith. The ride was long in the dark and when we got to the manse Fergus and Faith were both asleep in my lap.

Faith, Fergus and Roger had milk and cookies then I took my crew to the bathroom to explain the toilet and sink. The Reverend listened to my every word and all the reactions. When I thought everyone understood it we went to bed because we were all exhausted.

Faith and the twins slept in two makeshift trundle beds in my room. I found out my room meant my and Jamie’s room. I guess we got the large room because there were five of us and I didn’t want to complain. They were already putting up my family of seven people. 

I got my, now three, children into the bedroom and Jamie followed and sat on a chair. We were both still stunned about Faith but I’d been the one to retrieve her and was doing better than Jamie. I whispered a story to Faith and nursed the twins until they fell asleep. Faith sat quietly and watched me the whole time. After the twins were asleep she got up in my lap to nurse. I didn’t know what to do; Faith was too old to nurse and I looked at Jamie who shrugged. I can’t believe I once thought that shrug was cute.

I had no idea of her first three years and I pulled my shift back down and nursed her. She seemed small for three. She had Jamie’s flaming red curls, my eyes, and loved to cuddle up. Did we have three years and I didn’t remember them? Did she come into existence at three? I wish Master Raymons had stayed to give answers. All these questions were maddening.

Faith let go of my breast and leaned in to get a kiss. I kissed her and wrapped her up on her little trundle and tucked her in. She sighed and closed her eyes. I looked at Jamie and looked at the door. We both left the room and went quietly down the stairs. 

I had thought we might not be alone and we weren’t. Murtagh, Violet and the Reverend were sitting around the table in the kitchen talking. Jamie and I joined them.

“Okay lass, now ye must tell us what happened, and tell it all.” Murtagh said. I thought it would be Jamie insisting on an explanation but he was still infuriatingly quiet. 

I sat down, poured a bit of their very good whiskey, took a sip and began my story. I told them everything; from struggling with Master Raymond and getting a faceful of powder to screaming in the rocks for Faith. After the story was finished they were silent for a full second. 

“But, I killed that bastard at Culloden.” Jamie said in almost an asking voice.

“Do ye recall it clearly son?” the Reverend asked.

“Well,” Jamie paused, “Aye I think so.” He said and looked at me.

Murtagh was looking at me. “What Murtagh?” I asked.

“I went through the rocks with ye, I canna believe you created silence in there… it was terrible. If ye ken how to make it silent why didna ye do it for us?” He said. 

“I would have made it a nice calm passage for us if I knew I was capable of it. I will for our return, ok?” I said. I thought about my scream in the rocks.

“Return?” the Reverend said, “When?” 

“In a few years.” I answered and that seemed to satisfy him. I can only imagine the historian wanted time to interview the living subjects of history.

“There are so many questions about ye’re darling little Faith.” Violet said and everyone nodded. 

“Many, many questions and I have no answers.” I said and took another sip.

I’d had enough. I was beyond exhausted but if I was going to sleep in the same room as Jamie we needed to have a conversation. I drained my whiskey.

“Jamie, may I speak with you outside?” I said.

I started to the front when I heard Violet say, “Claire, go to the back, everyone will hear ye in the front.” Then Violet started getting the group to bed.

“Thank you.” I said as I passed by her to go out the kitchen door. She opened the door for me and handed me two more glasses of whiskey. God bless her.

Jamie and I sat on the swing for a few minutes.

“What? What are you mad at yourself for?” I asked and my brave highland warrior husband looked at the ground.

“Jamie,” my voice softened, “Whatever it is we can get past it.” I said and took his hand.

He let go of my hand. “We canna get past it because I dinna deserve ye Claire. I dinna deserve my bairns. I dinna know what to think of little Faith!” He said and made the sign of the cross again shaking his head. I wanted to explode but I knew better. I kept silent. 

“I forced ye to go back, ye dinna wanna go but I made ye. I sent ye to the arms of another man. For months after ye came back all I could think about was how happy I was to have ye.” He paused and sipped his whiskey.

“But I dinna deserve ye. I told ye to forget me and have a life with Frank. I thought it was the right thing but I dinna know anymore.” He said. When he said Frank’s name he spit his name out and curled his fist. “When ye came back I forgot all that, I was so happy to just hold ye, I felt like I could breathe again.” Jamie’s voice was getting low and I leaned in. “It was so hard to breathe without ye Claire.” He looked at me. “How can ye just think it’s ok? I sent ye to another man. You disobeyed me, again! And I’m grateful for it. How can we get past this?” He looked at me after Jamie said all this and I knew it was my turn.

“You were right to send me back. I know,” He hung his head here, “I know it doesn’t feel that way now but you made sure I was safe and the babies were safe. You thought you were going to die, you made me go to the safest place you knew and that was my time. It was good you did, because I wouldn’t have left- Jamie, listen to me.” He’d gotten up and looked away.

“Aye, I hear ye Claire.” He said.

I got up and made him look at me. “Jamie, I needed to see a doctor, from this time, and get medication to have a safe birth, you know this, I told you before. If you hadn’t forced me to come to my time I would’ve lost the twins.” When I finished he was meeting my eyes.

“Aye, but what about Frank? I told ye to go to him Claire, how can ye ever forgive me for that?” Jamie said and was looking me in the eyes.

I took his hands and stepped toward him so we were very close. “I know what I said, but I knew I could never go back to him. After what there is between us anyone else would simply be a pale shadow of you.” I said. He was listening, he was smiling. “And I already forgave you a long time ago.” I said smiling.

I leaned in and went on tip toes. “Can we make up with a kiss?” I asked.

“It is a verre big thing to forgive.” He said looking at me.

“Jamie, I love you so much, I forgive you. Please, let's not waste more time so you can berate yourself.” I said and squeezed his hands. 

Jamie put one hand around my waist and another around my shoulders and kissed me. He was like a drowning man gasping for air and I was that air. We kissed and touched until I noticed a flickering light next door. I pulled away from the kiss and saw the neighbor was turning their back porch light on and off.

“I guess it’s time for us to go back in.” I said and smiled.

Jamie squinted and said, “It’s like a mad firefly.” I took his hand and we went inside and to bed.

I undressed to my shift and Jamie left his shirt on but we got in bed together. Our newly rekindled relationship didn’t go as far as sex I knew and I was a little uneasy with that at the manse anyway.

When Jamie lay down he moaned loudly. “Hush, you’ll wake the house.” I whispered and giggled.

“Sassenach,” He said in the way he used to and my heart smiled, “ I know ye truly love me.”

“Oh, how’s that?” I whispered back.

“Ye had a life where ye slept in this kind of bed and ye chose to stay w’me.” Jamie said and kissed the top of my head. He drew me close and we had a good night of sleep.


	17. More than a place to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> This is a light chapter. I think Jamie and Claire would have some difficulty sorting out the stereotypical gender duties. This chapter is an answer to some of that 
> 
> As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius who thought up Outlander and these wonderful characters.

Wednesday November 3rd 1747

Lallybroch

“Do ye miss Claire?” Ian asked as he came from behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her.

“Aye, and Jamie. Even if I went for days without seeing him I knew he was there and safe. Now I dinna know if they made their voyage safely.” Jenny said in her soft but strong voice. “I miss Claire too. We shared so much.” Jenny said. She would’ve said more but her lips were quivering.

“Me too, wife. Remember when Jamie was crawling out on the roof?” Ian asked.

“Aye, I do. Ye took your dirk out and ye were going to skin up whatever animal disturbed your sleep and it was my brother.” Jenny laughed a little bit.

“Our brother.” Ian said softly and leaned into her. Jenny nodded without speaking.

“Where did ye hide the special rock?” Iam asked her while nuzzling her neck.

“It’s in the hidden spot in the basement.” Jenny whispered and shuddered with goosebumps. Her mind was leaving Jamie and Claire. No more words were spoken for a while.

Thursday November 3rd 1949

Inverness, The Manse

The next morning I woke up and was immediately sorry I drank the whiskey. I’d stayed away from strong alcohol for the most part since I was pregnant and my head was reminding me exactly how long it had been. 

Jamie leaned up to look at Faith playing with the twins. The children were awake. “What do ye think Claire? Did we have years with Faith and not remember them?” He sat up as Faith ran toward the bed.

“Da!” She came straight for him. I was going to tell Jamie I had no idea, and it was odd that the only thing she said was Momma and Da when I looked up and saw Jamie’s back.

“Jamie, take your shirt off.” I said and got out of bed.

He looked at me strangely. “I want to see your back.” I said and he took his shirt off then picked up Faith.

The marks on his back were considerably less. He’s obviously been flogged but the lashes didn’t mark his back in deep grooves anymore.

“Jamie, your back has changed! Your lash marks are much less.” I said with all the surprise I felt.

“Aye?” Jamie said and felt the small part of his back that he could reach.

“I have to get the twins, we will get back to this.” I said. I walked over to where I’d put the bags and pulled out fresh clouts and clothing. Jamie changed the twins and I talked to Faith.

“Do ye have to go to the bathroom?” I asked. She was holding herself between the legs. She just looked at me funny but I took her to the bathroom that was luckily empty. Jamie followed me in and handed me Brianna to nurse. I put Faith on the toilet and sat on the edge of the tub to nurse. 

It took a long time and Jamie had started to whistle to entertain Alex. Eventually Faith peed and I cheered. I handed Brianna to Jamie and helped Faith to wipe and wash her hands. I went to pee but it looked like Jamie was going to use it.

“Please,” He said and nodded toward the toilet like it was a grand seat. I would’ve never used the toilet with Frank in the room, but it didn’t feel too weird with Jamie and the kids. We were all right there; the five of us in the bathroom. After I was finished I flushed and washed my hands. I took the babies from Jamie and managed to sit them in the tub. Jamie was staring at me.

“Yes?” I asked, smiling.

“Sassenach, I have to piss, so where do I stand?” He said and was obviously embarrassed. 

I showed him and he did it, and managed not to tinkle on the floor. He washed his hands and groaned.

“What?” I asked.

“Not having to use a chamber pot or going outside to pee at night, and getting water whenever you want it. This is nice.” He was smiling at me. 

We rinsed out our mouths and I mentally put toothbrushes on the growing list of things we will need. I picked up Alex to nurse and Jamie asked me questions about the use of everything in the bathroom. 

We went back to our bedroom but on the way we saw a sleepy Fergus coming out of his room.

“Milord, Milady, the bed is very nice.” He said and rubbed his eyes.

“Aye, it is!” Jamie answered. “Do ye have to piss?” He asked and Fergus nodded. Jamie proudly took Fergus into the bathroom to show him where to stand.

I took our little ones into the bedroom and got them dressed. I had nothing for Faith, she was still wearing the shawl Violet had given her.

I looked at Faith trying to guess a size and instead she crawled in my lap to nurse. I let her; I didn’t know how to stop it at this point.

Her feet were so tiny I was able to give her socks I had brought for the twins. Alex and Brianna had been growing so fast I thought I should be prepared. There was a knock and I got up to answer the door.

“Good Morning! I made a few calls and got some clothes and shoes for little Faith, I don’t know what will fit.” Violet said. I looked at her in amazement.

“Thank you!” We went inside the room and got Faith dressed in a cute little dress. She even had shoes to fit,

“Please pass along my thanks.” I said.

“Aye, I will. Now come down for breakfast.” Violet said.

We all came down and breakfast was wonderful; parritch, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, square lorne sausage, baked beans, eggs and toast. 

“Mistress, I dinna ken I ever did have such a verre good breakfast.” Murtagh said when he was finished and we all followed suit by thanking her. Faith, Brianna and Alex had eaten milky parritch and buttery toast. Faith even ate tomatoes.

I went to the front room and sat the twins down and Faith. They had a few toys from the things Violet had given us and they were all three enthralled. I sat with them and watched Faith. She was just as interested in the toys as the babies were and she mimicked their behaviour. The more time passed the more I thought we didn’t have three years with her. Jamie sat next to me and watched our children.

“What are ye thinking, Sassenach?” Jamie said.

“I’m thinking we didn’t have three years with Faith that we don’t remember. She has better capabilities but she is like a new babe.” I said never taking my eyes off her.

“Aye, that seems right, but it makes her even more of a mystery.” Jamie said. He was watching her too, watching Faith watch the twins.

“Claire, could we talk?” Violet said from the doorway.

“Sure.” I got up and sat on the couch. Jamie followed suit and groaned again.

“This is so comfortable!” He said and was moving his hands on it back and forth.

“Well, thank ye Mr , err, Jamie. Claire, I need to tell you about the money you gave me to invest for the twins if they ever came back.” Mrs. Graham said and paused. She looked like it was bad news.

“It’s okay Violet,” I said, I was thinking I could always go back to work, “What happened?”

“Well, ye see… I thought the best thing to do is invest it in something that would have meaning to them. If I could add a profitable business, that would be even better.” Violet said and took a deep breath.

“It’s okay, just tell me.” I was getting impatient.

“I bought Lallybroch and I’ve been fixing it up to try to turn it into a bed and breakfast.” Violet said and took another deep breath.

“Lallybroch stands?” Jamie asked.

“Mostly.” Violet replied. “I’ve been trying to capture the true look of the time it was built but it has taken time.” Violet sat down, apparently nervous after telling me.

“That's a great idea!” I said. “If the twins came to this time it would give them a place to live and an income. Also, it’s the perfect place for us to live.” I said and went to hug Violet.

“Oh, dear I was so worried you would be upset.” Violet said.

“Not at all, You have such wonderful idea’s.” I hugged her again. This is our house in the country I was hoping to find. I can keep Jamie and Murtagh from being looked at as crazy people and we can live in peace.

“Do you have a figure for how much was left?” I asked her.

Violet went to a desk and pulled out a stack of papers. “I’ve kept track of everything.” I took the stack from her and went over the pages briefly.

“You’ve done very well, thank you so much Violet.” I said. Violet was blushing a bit.

She asked, “I’ve got you an automobile if ye like, it’s used, but it’s a solid machine and at a good price.” 

“Yes, that would be great. Who is selling it?” I asked.

“Me!” Violet said almost laughing. “I want to buy a new one .” She said. “I’ve had my eye on one at the car lot for a while now but I didn’t have a reason to sell it.” Violet said.

Jamie cleared his throat. “Could ye please explain it to someone who doesna ken the beginning of this story?” As he was speaking Murtagh and Fergus had wandered in.

I took a deep breath, “When I left this time to go back home, I had some money leftover from working and from my Uncle Lamb. I gave it to Violet to try to invest it or just save it in case one of the twins were to come back to this century.” I took a breath and rifled through the papers.

“Apparently she bought Lallybroch and all the land around, for a very good price!” I looked at Violet, “Am I reading this right? Did you get 350 acres?” I asked and she nodded.

“Aye, it’s all in trust for ye’re bairns. They own it and in the absence of their parents I act as their agent.” Violet said and looked just a little proud of herself.

“You are one clever woman, thank you Violet.” I said and nodded to her. She looked me right in the eye and nodded back to me.

“So we have Lallybroch?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, and plenty of land.” I answered. He smiled and picked up Faith and twirled her around.

“That is good news, thank ye Violet for being such a smart woman.” Murtagh said. He winked at her and she actually blushed. She blushed.

“Can we go today Madam?” Fergus asked.

“Well, I think the first thing we should do is go to the bank and transfer money for the car and get the paperwork done so ye own it. Ye also need some pocket money and clothes….” She trailed off as she looked at my family. 

I turned back to Jamie, I was going to ask if he would mind to watch the children for a while, but he beat me to it.

“Ye go Sassenach, ye will ken what clothes to get. I will stay here with our bairns. Maybe take Fergus or Murtagh with ye?” Jamie said.

“That would be a fine idea, but I really need to try to blend in. I think I should go by myself this time and buy some clothes for everyone.” Jamie nodded and managed to look only slightly worried. I turned around to ask if my old clothes were anywhere and Violet beat me to it. I have to speak faster.

“The suitcase ye gave me is in ye’re room.” Violet said. I smiled and headed to the stairs. Violet turned the radio on and started explaining it to Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus. 

“Sassenach.” Jamie said when I came downstairs in a skirt and blouse. “Are ye sure that is fitting clothes?” He asked.

“Aye,” I said in imitation. “This is fine for this time.” I said. He still looked skeptical.

Violet and I measured Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus and we left. Watching Violet measure Murtagh was eye opening.

It was a whirlwind day. We went to the bank, I paid Violet and got the car registered in my name, then the search began for clothes for my family. We stopped at the car lot on the way home and Violet got her new car.

When we got to the manse it was loud. The radio was blasting music and Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were dancing with the children. The Reverend was sitting on the couch laughing and clapping. They didn’t hear us come in and they hadn’t spotted us yet.

Violet went to a little desk and pulled out a camera. She turned back and took a picture of the living room. I was very happy with the sight; Jamie and Murtagh were free to do as they pleased and live, and they looked happy. Fergus looked more like a child than ever. Finally Brianna saw me and held out her arms.

“Momma, Momma!” Brianna said. It was a little mumbly but I knew what she wanted.

“Oh, hello.” Jamie said only slightly ruffled from his vigorous dance with two children.

I took Brianna and went to nurse her, then Alex. After Alex was finished Faith was coming to sit on my lap. I decided there was no better time.

“Faith honey, you are too old to nurse.” I buttoned up my shirt and she laughed like it was a joke and tried to unbutton my shirt.

“Faith, these are babies,” I pointed to the twins, “They nurse. But you are a big girl and get your milk from a cup.” I saw the twins had settled down and were falling asleep sitting next to me so I got them laying down and picked Faith up and left the room.

“Do you understand? You don’t get milk from me anymore, you get it from a cup. Let’s go get you some right now.” I said and we went downstairs and I got her a glass of milk. I think she was starting to understand. She was pouting and acted like regular milk was terrible and tried to climb in my lap to nurse. The second time I said, “No Faith, you are a big girl.” She looked at me like she was going to cry then she let out a screech to bring the house down. 

Everyone ran into the kitchen. Violet had dropped the large spoon she was holding and put her hands over her ears.

“What is it Sassenach?”Jamie asked. Murtagh had made it first but he was just looking around with his dirk out.

“It’s fine gentleman. That was the protest shirk of Miss Faith who didn’t get what she wanted.” I said.

“What did she want?” Jamie asked, putting his dirk away.

“To nurse.” I said softly.  
“Och, well Sassenach-” Jamie came over to me and started trying to unbutton my blouse. “I can help ye.”

“Jamie, no. I told her she was too old.”I said and managed to get his hands off my blouse.

“Really? She’s only a tiny lass, surely she should nurse longer.” He said looking at Faith sitting on a stack of books to reach the table. 

“Jamie, she’s three. Faith should be weaned.” I said. He nodded and looked around the kitchen. 

“I see ye’re point Sassenach, but maybe we can wean her tomorrow when we go to Lallybroch?” He said. I looked around the kitchen and saw his point. I nodded.

“You’re right. Let’s go, Faith.” I said and took her upstairs to nurse.

“Take this.” Violet said and put a large drink in my hand.

“Thank you, I always get thirsty.” I said, Faith and I left the kitchen and went back upstairs.

Jamie and I got our children fed and down for the night. We checked on Fergus; he’d just taken a shower and put on cotton pajamas.

He was sitting on the bed when we looked in the room.

“Are we going to Lallybroch tomorrow?” He asked.

“Aye lad, that is the plan.” Jamie said.

“Will I have a bed like this to sleep in?” Fergus asked.

I smiled and said,” Yes, you will.” Jamie gave me his questioning look. “While we were out today Violet told me about the things she already had at Lallybroch. She was buying supplies as she could.” I finished. I was quite happy Violet had purchased things.

“Oh good.” Fergus and Jamie said at the same time. 

Fergus went to bed and Jamie and I were going down the stairs when we heard Murtagh and Violet in the kitchen. The Reverend and Roger were in their rooms so rather than interrupt Murtagh and Violet Jamie and I went to bed.

It was a good night. The kids slept almost all night and I slept in the arms of my husband.

The next day I was just moving and stretching when I saw my husband dressed in full highland garb.

“Where are you going?” I asked. I was curious about him putting on the clothes from his time.

“To a lecture with the Reverend. He called somebody yesterday and they were looking to have someone come in and talk about Scottish Highland fighting methods of the eighteen century.” He said as calmly as someone would ask if they would like a cup of tea.

“What? Jamie. What if you give away that you are from that century? Jamie, someone might think-” I said but he cut me off. 

“I ken, ye told us many times.” He said, then mimicked in a high voice, “If someone from this time finds out you think you are from a different century they will likely think you are crazy. That is very bad because you might get locked up and I can’t get you.” He finished. It was exactly what I’d said.

“This is reckless.” I said. I didn’t want him to go. I felt like I just got my husband back, I didn’t want him doing anything dangerous.

Jamie sat on my side of the bed and looked at me. “Claire, I understand what is at risk. I will be careful. I will be with the Reverend and I will make money for our family.” He kissed me, short and sweet, then walked out of the room.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him we didn’t need the money. I’d been around enough universities with Frank to know the speaker pay is usually small. Jamie was smart and I was likely worrying about nothing. I thought about his role at home compared to his role in 1949 and I knew I was going to have to let him do something. He would want to support our family and I was unsure how the future would work. The Reverend will be with him today and will keep him safe. 

I got up to get dressed and one minute into that process the twins woke up.

We had breakfast and spent the morning packing the cars with our things we’d brought and all the new things. Jamie and the Reverend came back in the afternoon. Everything had gone very well and Jamie impressed the students. Jamie pulled out the handful of coins in his pocket and proudly showed me his five pounds. I looked at the Reverend with raised eyebrows. He just shrugged but had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. That was very high pay, and I knew it.

Jamie was very proud so I didn’t say a word. I think the reason The Reverend asked him to speak was because of what happened. Six men want to pay Jamie for lessons in sword fighting. 

“Six?” I asked, looking at Jamie. The Reverend nodded and smiled. “How are your lessons going to get scheduled?” I asked. 

Reverend Wakefield answered, “Through me, that way I can go and watch. I can also arrange any new students. There is a phone out at Lallybroch and I will phone you when I have a schedule.” He said and smiled wide.

I nodded. We needed some type of income and I didn’t really want to leave the children for very long. I didn’t think sword fighting lessons would be enough to support us but I kept quiet and let Jamie have his moment. What did I know anyway?

“Congratulations.” I said and kissed Jamie, “You're in this century for two days and you have work.” I smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

We left shortly after that. Violet and the Reverend both wanted us to stay an extra day but I was uncomfortable being in the same place with Jamie that I had been with Frank. I also knew how run down Lallybroch had got and I was worried about Jamie’s reaction.

“I am amazed at you driving this machine Sassenach, this is wonderful.” Jamie said. I was driving and he and Fergus were corralling the children. 

“Thank you.” I said and smiled. In what felt like a very long time ago I knew women who wouldn't drive. They were afraid to be in charge of a large ‘machine’as Jamie would say. I could recall driving my Uncle Lamb’s car as soon as I could reach the pedals and see over the dashboard.

“I don’t want you to be disappointed in Lallybroch. It’s been a long time since it was built and…” I stopped because I saw Jamie wasn’t paying attention to me. He was looking all around like he knew the trees and was marking them mentally. We were less than a mile from Lallybroch and I thought I should be quiet and let him experience it as he wanted. I looked back at Fergus and he was doing the same.

We pulled into the makeshift driveway that made Lallybroch’s dooryard. Murtagh and Violet had been ahead of us and Murtagh was doing the same thing Jamie was; looking all around. Like he didn’t have enough eyes. Lallybroch was very different, but also somewhat the same. 

“I canna believe it stands, it’s a miracle, my Da would be so proud.” Jamie said and, picking up Faith and Brianna, kept walking around. I had Alex in my arms and I just started at Jamie in amazement. First he gives a demonstration on sword fighting, gets people who want to learn from him, and is just happy Lallybroch stands. He doesn’t see the load of work ahead of us, he sees what we have and he’s happy. He is taking the change of century so much better than I did. God, please let me be more like Jamie and stop worrying.

Thursday November 4th 1747

Lallybroch

Ian got up early to see the bedroom empty. He figured his wife was caring for their bairns or cooking so he didn’t think her absence was odd. He came down the steps and saw her by the fire in the parlor. She had fallen asleep writing a letter. Ian came over and tried to pick the items up on her writing desk but she woke and startled.

“Ian!” Jenny said, groggy and surprised.

“Jenny lass, when did ye get up?” Ian said as he saw the dark smudges under her eyes and he cradled her cheeks in his hands.

“A while ago.” She said. Actually she’d never been to sleep.

“Get something to eat and go to bed before ye make yerself sick lass.” Ian said softly. The last few days had been hard on them, particularly on his wife. Jenny and Claire had spent all day together, every day, for almost a year.

“I canna sleep. I will take a nap later.” Jenny said. She thought about last night as she lay trying to sleep. She would think of something and then think about telling it to Claire and then she would feel the sadness. Her man was her man but Claire was her first real woman friend. Ian agreed to the nap and their day started. Jenny had a dram of whiskey after lunch and was able to nap until dinner.


	18. Church and letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my clever, wonderful readers,
> 
> Thank you so much! This is fun to write anyway, but you make it a real joy. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, I did.
> 
> Let's all mentally thank Diana Gabaldon who thought up Outlander and these wonderful characters.

Saturday November 7th 1747

Lallybroch

“Jenny, are ye going to write all night?” Ian asked his wife. Dinner was over long ago and he wanted to go to bed with his wife.

Jenny looked up at him. “A few more paragraphs, ye’ve told me to be done with it today so I need more time.” She said. 

“Alright lass.” Ian sighed and sat back down. He pulled a chair close so he could prop his legs up and in a few minutes he fell fast asleep.

Over two hours later Jenny shook him awake, “I’m finished, lets go to bed.” She said without mentioning how long she took. He looked around and knew the dark had grown but decided not to mention it. Ian knew the loss she felt; he’d felt it when Jamie went away the first time and he hoped it would be easier for Jenny. And with that hope they went to bed.

Saturday November 5th, 1949

Lallybroch

I was looking out one of the kitchen windows. The window itself was new but the view was an old one. I thought about Jenny and tried not to cry.

Over the last few days we settled into the ‘new’ Lallybroch and got floors swept and debris cleaned up. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were all amazed at how well Lallybroch had stood the test of time but I was worried about the cold. The kitchen was finished and completed with modern appliances. There were two completed bathrooms. Most of the big dining room was finished but on one wall there were two holes I could put my arm through.

There was one completed bedroom and two more that was mostly complete. On the first night Jamie and Murtagh had moved mattresses to the completed bedroom and put them on the floor. That’s how we’d been sleeping but I hoped to change that today. I wanted some privacy with my husband. 

The last two days had been almost in slow motion. When we’d got to Lallybroch we relaxed and investigated the house. We let it sink in that we had time traveled, and were going to live here for a few years. Being at Lallybroch was perfect, I think. There was a satisfaction of being ‘home’ in a way but it was also thick with remembrances of loved ones. I knew Jamie and Murtagh wouldn’t want to live anywhere else now, but the memories were almost overwhelming at times.

There was also the time between Jamie’s time and mine for the house. We had no idea who’d lived here and when changes had been made. There were changes, there had to be for the electricity and the plumbing and the window and, well I could go on all day but there was breakfast to be eaten.

When breakfast was over and the kitchen was cleaned up everyone went outside to take a walk but it was misting so we sat on the porch. I knew we needed to get into gear to get Lallybroch ready for the winter and I didn’t know if we should hire people or if Jamie and Murtagh could work with new materials and tools. 

“We have to get started on renovations.” I said to the quietness, putting my trust in my family to get the house ready for winter. The children were sitting together on the floor and babbling together, but it was the only silence anyone with three young children had. When they were awake.

“Aye Sassenach. Murtagh and I were speaking about that just yesterday. Where should we start do ye think, because we thought-” Jamie said but I didn’t wait for him to finish.

“The bedrooms. We should start with the bedrooms.” I said quickly. I was looking at Jamie who was looking at me. Our eyes met and I tried to make him understand I wanted him. At the least I wanted to lay naked next to my husband again. I could feel my cheeks grow warm and I saw his pupils dilate. It was only a second but I saw him, I saw my warrior.

A few more seconds passed before Jamie said, “We thought to start in the bedrooms too.” He was still looking at me but he was smiling now.

“I thought-” Murtagh had started to say something but Jamie elbowed him in the chest and he smacked Jamie in the arm. “Aye, the bedrooms will be a fine place to start too. I could sleep without having to hear ye’re bairns.” Murtagh said and reminded me of a book I’d read many times as a child. The Uncle character appeared to be grumpy and disliked children but when no other adults were around he lavished attention on the children and gave them candy. 

As if on cue Faith ran to Murtagh and called his name in her baby-like fashion, “Muta, Muta, looky rock!” She said and showed him her treasures.

“Murrrtagh,” He said his name and embellished his R. Murtagh bent down and swept Faith up in his arms. Her speech had progressed rapidly the last couple days, and I was glad. 

“Show me my ghost girl.” He said and ooo’d and ah’d at her rocks held together with a hair ribbon. He lay on the grass in the mist with Faith and they found ants and mosquitoes and many other things Murtagh tried to get Faith to pronounce properly.

I sat back down by Jamie who was watching the twins. Fergus was sitting at the end of the porch reading a book. I was surprised when he asked for history books but he was practically absorbing them. I had no idea when the porch was added but it was wonderful. It had a great view, a ceiling to keep out the rain and it was screened to protect from the bugs Murtagh was trying to teach Faith to pronounce.

We decided to get started as soon as the children lay down for a nap. Jamie and I kept talking about the house but his hand came over his chair and dangled for a bit. Then that hand reached out and held mine and squeezed. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. He was ready too.

~

“I wish you wouldn’t call her that.” I said to Murtagh much later when the children were napping.

“Call who what?” He asked.

“Calling Faith Ghost Girl, I wish you wouldn’t.” I said and tried to remain unemotional. I remembered when I had been in the newspaper and everyone called me a fairy woman. It was a nickname that separated a person from ‘regular’ people.

“Allright lass, I’ll stop.” He said and looked at me oddly.

“Is she not a ghost girl milady?” Fergus asked.

Jamie looked around and said, “Whether she is or isn’t, her name is Faith and she nae has the experience of life to understand pet names.” Everyone nodded their agreement. I realized it didn’t matter the century, Jamie was a laird and his word was law. 

“And lad, ye’ve got to remember to call us ye’re Ma and Da.” Jamie gently added.

Fergus nodded and looked down and Jamie went to him. “Fergus, ye are as good as my own son, and I want ye to call me Da.” Fergus smiled and nodded. 

For the next two hours we went through the supplies in the front room that Violet had been buying. There were plenty! We could easily finish the holes in the dining room and the windows in the two bedrooms. Explaining the process of cement was a little difficult but the holes were repaired in the dining room and one bedroom almost finished by the end of the day.

As I was trying to figure out dinner the phone rang. I was startled, I hadn’t seen it yet so I was trying to figure out where it was when Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came flying in the kitchen with the children in their arms and tackled me to the ground.

“Sassenach, where are they coming from?” Jamie said and handed me a squawking Brianna and started to load his pistol.

I pushed away from him and got up. “It is the telephone, it sounds different than at the manse.” I said and spotted it on the floor.

“Hello,” I said, glaring at my clan. My elbows had been hurt a bit.

“Hello Claire, it’s Violet, how is everyone?”

“Hello, we are all doing fine, thank you for asking. We’re just settling in and starting repairs. How are you?” I asked.

“Och, I’m braw. Listen, the Reverend and I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight, here at the manse. I hope you can make it because I was supposed to invite you this morning but I got busy with wee Roger and it slipped my mind.”

“We can absolutely make it, thank you Violet! I will get everyone ready and we will be on our way soon.” I said and hung up the phone.

“Sorry, I, uh, forgot about the telephone.” Jamie said.

“Aye, sorry lass.” Murtagh said.

“It’s all right, it was Violet inviting us to dinner tonight.” I said and watched Murtagh smile.

Jamie nodded and looked outside. I knew he was guessing time. “Do we have time to get there before dinner?”

“Yes, I can drive us.” I said.

“Aye, the machine. Let’s get the bairns cleaned up.” He said and looked at the twin’s faces. I had fed the children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and only Faith had a clean face. 

Dinner at the manse was a popular plan. My cooking was only passable but Violet was a whiz in the kitchen. Everyone was cleaned up and in their new clothes (Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus wore their old clothes the last two days) in record time. Jamie and I packed a bag for the children and we set off.

The twins fell asleep on the way but not Faith. She was an odd one for sure. When everyone was talking she was quiet like she was listening and trying to follow the conversation of adults. She had the rounded tummy of a toddler but she seemed tall. I knew she should have a vocabulary of hundreds of words but I guessed hers at 75 to 100 words. She was still getting movement down and when she tried to run she would fall. I knew I had to take her to a children's doctor to get her shots but I was worried she'd be branded deficient or they would find something wrong with her because she was behind on development.

I was thinking about contacting the nurses I’d worked with to get the name of a good doctor or just get them to give Faith the shots she needed. I would talk to Violet and see what she thought.

We arrived at the manse and had a wonderful dinner. Violet is a fantastic cook and I think the Reverend missed the company of Jamie and Murtagh. After dinner Roger took Fergus to his room to show him a new airplane toy he’d received and we went to the front room to have a drink and talk.

“How do you find Lallybroch?” The Reverend asked Jamie.

“Very different Reginald, but also the same. Do ye know the history of the house?” Jamie asked.

“A bit, but if ye like I can look into it. You are speaking of when you lived there until current times?” The Reverend asked. He’d given us leave to call him by his first name and Jamie and Murtagh had no problem doing it but I think he will always be the Reverend to me.

“Aye, I ken it until 1747.” Jamie said and smiled.

“Have ye thought about going to church tomorrow?” The Reverend asked.

“No, but ye ken, we’re papists.” Murtagh said.

The Reverend smiled, “I haven’t heard that term, only read about it. I understand that and can give the address of a good Catholic church if you would like,”

Jamie looked at me and smiled. I knew in his time going to mass on Sunday was a luxury he’d rarely had and he wanted to go.

“That would be nice, thank you.” I said. I couldn’t recall the last time I sat through a regular mass but I would go for Jamie.

I got directions for the Catholic church and we made a plan to meet back at the manse for lunch after services.

It was dark on the ride home and Jamie and Murtagh talked the whole way. They were very excited about going to church but I was worried about our clothing. I knew mass required your Sunday best and I didn’t know if our best was good enough not to get ostracized. 

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

The day started early because Ian had to go find the mule that had kicked a hole through the barn door and tried to run out but got stuck in his hole. Jenny was up and dressed when Ian got back in and he was disappointed.

“Let's go back to bed.” He said grumpily.

“Nae, let’s talk a walk.” Jenny said. She was obviously very happy and it seemed wrong at this time of the morning to have that much energy.

“What is going on?” Ian asked.

“Today is the day, I find out if they are alright man, I will find out today!” She said practically dancing around him.

Ian shook his head in wonderment. “If they are or if they aren’t, there is nae we can do about it.” He reminded his wife.

She huffed and made that all knowing Scottish noise in her throat. “We will see about that.” Jenny said and walked out of the room.

She went downstairs and looked out the window to see a light coating of snow had fallen overnight. It was new and perfect and she watched it for a while until she sat down and started knitting. She almost laughed thinking about telling Claire the mule had kicked a hole in the barn door and tried to escape into snow.

Upstairs Ian had already started snoring.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

“If my family doesn’t hurry up I will have to leave them.” I called. I was standing by the door after getting myself and three children ready. Finally Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came in dressed and looking very proud of themselves.

I studied them… they were wearing a mix of old and new clothes but they looked good and I was thinking we’d be fine. Why were they smiling…?

“No weapons.” I said and the smiles went away.

“I told ye.” Jamie said and they all three dropped pistols and dirks by the door.

I turned around so they didn’t see me laughing and got the children to the car.

We made it to the church a half hour early and I was glad. I’d planned to get there early because I’d guessed what the reaction would be.

“This canna be a church lass, it looks like a rich dandy’s house.” Murtagh said.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t said that when we go in.” I parked the car and we went to the doors.

“Och, a church, as heavy as these doors are-” But I cut Jamie off as I saw a priest approaching.

“Good morning Father.” I said and held out my hand to shake his. He took my hand between his two hands.

“Good morning, good morning, who do we have here?” He asked.

Jamie introduced us around and the priest nodded. He asked where we were from as he knew his parishioners. I was prepared.

“That's so kind of you to ask Father, can we go in? It’s cold.” I said

“Of course, of course” He said and led the way inside.

“We have been living in the remote highlands, but decided to bring our family closer to town so we are living at Lallybroch.” I said in a summary-like tone so he didn't ask any followup questions. “I’m so sorry Father, but you didn’t introduce yourself.” I said and smiled at him.

“Father Kelty, glad to meet you, I must go prepare.” He left and I looked at Jamie and Murtagh who were quite impressed with the church.

“Fergus!” I said as I realized the boy wasn’t with us. I looked around and so did Jamie. 

“These benches are so smooth, I bet no one got a splinter on these.” Fergus said as he popped up from the last row.

Jamie went to get him. I looked around for a mass book so I could follow the service as I never quite learned all the Latin and Murtagh picked one up too. We went up the center isle and found a seat. Murtagh was sitting next to Faith who was sitting next to me.

“What, how is this done?” Murtagh asked me.

I looked up and saw him looking at the mass book. He turned it around and saw the binding and looked up at me. “I’m sorry Murtagh, I don’t know exactly how it’s done but I will tell you what I know when we get home.” I said.

“Aye” He said and nodded. During the service he was content looking at the mass book and turning it all around. He would be paying attention to the service then get sidetracked because of how many pages were in the book. I was fairly sure I heard him whisper numbers and ‘color’ once also. Fergus had history books he’d been reading at every available moment and I wondered how Murtagh hadn’t noticed those books. 

I ended up having to take Brianna to what was called the ‘Mother’s Room’ where there were a lot of rocking chairs and crying babies. On hearing the other crying children Brianna stopped at once and snuggled closer to me. We sat in an empty rocking chair and she nursed until she fell asleep. There was a rather antiquated speaker at the end of the room and the service was piped in so we could listen to it. I watched the other mothers. I wasn’t looking at one particular woman, more like all of them. I wondered if I would ever be friends with any of these women. How would it ever be possible; I traveled through time, came back, went back in time again and then came back and brought others not of this time with me. ‘ _Hi, my name is Claire and my hobby is time traveling_ ’ I thought to myself and smiled.

What would Jenny do if she were in my situation. She would be friendly, until she had a reason not to be anyway. I looked up and tried to smile at the women who seemed to be looking at me. A few women smiled back or nodded, it was a start I guess.

After mass was over I found my family still in the church looking around at the statues and stained glass windows.

“Sassenach, maybe we should ask the Reverend for a less opulent church.” Jamie said looking at a window he seemed to enjoy.

“They’re all like this, I don’t think there is a less opulent catholic church. They’re all very decorative.” I said and picked up the children's toys that were on the bench. 

“Wow, all catholic churches look like this…” Fergus said. He was looking at the decorative ceiling. 

“Let's get to the manse, to eat.” Murtagh said and picked up Faith. I started to wonder why he always carried Faith but when I saw her she was holding on to a pant leg of his. 

We got to the manse and parked. We were there a few minutes early and we walked around to kill some time. All the shops were closed but you could see in the windows and I thought it was a great introduction to stores. The twins seemed to be cold and we came back to get in the car but Violet was at the manse and ushered us inside.

“Och, why did you not come inside Claire? These bairns are cold.” She was taking off their coats and blowing hot air on their hands. 

“You weren’t here.” I said.

“I always leave the back door open lass, I’m sorry, I thought I told ye.” Violet said and started to make a fire in their hearth. Murtagh made a gallant gesture and built it up for her. She handed him the matches but after his three failed attempts she lit it for him.

“I have to work on that.” Murtagh said.

We all got warmed up and Violet brought the children warm cocoa in little cups with a lid on them. I made a mental note to ask where she got them because I needed to get myself a few.

The children settled and I got up to ask Violet if I could help with anything. She didn’t let me cook but I could usually set the table or pour drinks. 

I brought out small biscuits she gave me and as soon as I came out of the kitchen Murtagh went in and I heard Violet giggling.

I looked at Jamie and he looked at me. We were both on the verge of laughing ourselves when the Reverend and Roger came home.

“Reginald, can I take ye’re coat?” Jamie said. He’d gotten up as soon as he heard the door and he helped the Reverend and Roger to get their outerwear off.

“Much appreciated Jamie.” The Reverend said.

They came into the house and Violet came out of the kitchen quickly followed by Murtagh carrying a tea tray. Murtagh was carrying the tea tray. I looked at Jamie and he was looking at Murtagh. After Murtagh set it down Jamie coughed a bit and Murtagh glared at him.

We sat and talked and ate biscuits. Two men arrived carrying boxes and the Reverend told them to set it up on the table. When I inquired about what was being set up on the table I found out it was our lunch.

“Violet is a guest at this lunch and I didn’t want her to have to cook.” The Reverend said and smiled at her. She told him it was good money spent for nothing because she loved to cook. It was agreed we would meet again next Sunday for lunch and Violet would be cooking. It was also agreed we would come in the back door if we got here first. It was nice to really see Violet and the Reverend were more than employee/employer, they were friends.

The lunch was delicious and I got the name of the restaurant. I was thinking if Jamie and I ever got to go out by ourselves it might be a nice place. The talk was about the service and the church, The Reverend talked about his church and his preaching topic that day. Murtagh continued to flirt with Violet and she was definitely sweet on him. 

After lunch we were all having a drink and sitting by the fire.

“Have you had time to think about a schedule for your sword fighting lessons Jamie?” The Reverend asked.

“Nae, did ye ha’any idea’s?” Jamie asked.

The Reverend smiled and put his cake down on the table. “I did.” He paused and smiled. He went on to explain he thought about having ‘Weekend Getaways’ at Lallybroch where the weekend would be scheduled. The guests would sleep in tents until the rooms were finished and the whole weekend would be scheduled with events of not only sword fighting but sleeping in the rough, cooking over an open fire, how to properly wear a kilt . He and Violet would help shuttle the participants up to Lallybroch.

“Men do nae know how to wear a kilt properly?” Jamie asked, looking at me and the Reverend.

“The war took a lot of Fathers and boys are becoming men without male leadership in their lives.” The Reverend answered and looked at Roger. He was sitting by Faith teaching her a game.

Jamie said it was something he needed to think about and the Reverend asked him to bring an answer next Sunday.

The car ride home was full of talk about them hosting a weekend event and all kinds of ideas came up; sword fighting in stages so they could practice three or four times over the weekend, fighting with a dirk, making a tent, making a lean to, making a fire, cooking over a fire, hunting, and the list went on and on. I was silent thinking about the money needed to start this up. I wondered how Jamie would feel about me going back to work. I didn’t want to hurt his pride but I didn’t want to empty our bank account to get this going and not knowing if it would be successful. I stayed quiet and concentrated on driving.

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

Ian was sitting next to the fire reading the Bible out loud to his son and his wife. He heard a snicker and paused to give his son a stern look, but his son was looking at Jenny who was sleeping. Ian sent his son upstairs to his room but warned him to be quiet as his sisters were napping.

Ian picked the blanket off his wife’s lap to spread it over her and saw she was clutching the rock. He sent a silent prayer that she would receive a letter tonight; he worried that she might not get news.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

9:00 pm

We’d had a nice relaxing evening and I’d got the children to sleep and gathered the finished letters from Jamie and Fergus and Murtagh. Fergus had written two letters; one to wee Jamie and one to Ian and Jenny. Murtagh had written one paragraph to Ian and Jenny. Jamie had written two letters; one short one to his nephew and ‘the wee girls’ and one long one to Jenny and Ian.

I’d written about ten pages to Jenny, one page each to Ian and wee Jamie. I also had a ballpoint pen for Jenny, extra paper, buttons and coins. When I wrapped everything together it was wider than the rock, so I wrapped everything differently and only folded the pages long ways and it was less than the width of the rock. I wrote a short note and put it on top so she would know we were fine right away.

Sunday November 8th 1747

Lallybroch

9:58pm

“Ian, what time does the watch say?” Jenny asked. She was sitting in their bedroom on the floor so no one could possibly see her through the window. The children were asleep and no one else was in the house. 

“The same as the last time ye asked, 10 seconds ago.” He said. Ian was sitting on a chair with his feet up ready to go to sleep when a light started coming from the rock.

“Ian, Ian!” Jenny whispered excitedly.

The rock was actually sparkling with light. Jenny gasped when two fingers came through, “Claire!” Jenny wrapped two of her own fingers around them and they clasped fingers briefly. Then Jenny put her letter in between of the two fingers and her letter was pulled through the rock. A second later papers appeared and Jenny helped pull them onto her lap. As soon as the paper was through the rock stopped sparkling and went back to normal; it even looked quite dull. 

Jenny crossed herself and so did Ian, even though he’d seen Claire go halfway through stone before. Jenny was crying and shaking and Ian got down on the floor and took the rock from her and set it on the ground.

“Open the papers.” He said.

She picked up the papers and coins, buttons and the pen fell out. Jenny let them lie and opened the front page and read out loud,

“Dear Jenny and Ian,

We are here, safe in 1949. Here are the letters we’ve written.

We miss you terribly, and pray you are safe and well.

With much love,

Claire, Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus, and the children”

Jenny was crying when she finished reading and Ian held her. “They’re alright, they’re alright, thank God they are safe.” She was saying.

Ian hid the rock, the letters and everything that was in them in the hiding place in their fireplace and they went to bed. They both slept well all night.

Sunday November 6th, 1949

Lallybroch

9:59 pm

Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus watched the rock light up as I held it between my hands. I focused on Jenny and Ian and Lallybroch in 1747. The rock sparkled and lit and I knew I could do it. I reached two fingers in to try and grasp a letter and instead I felt Jenny’s fingers. I started to cry holding on to Jenny’s fingers. I missed my friend, my sister, and I grasped her fingers. She let go and put her letter through and I got it. I sent my clumsy package through and she got it. Before the rock cooled and dulled I heard Ian’s voice and then Jenny’s and I looked up.

“Holy God.” Murtagh whispered. Fergus crossed himself. Jamie was smiling at me like he was proud of me and I just smiled back.

I opened the first letter and I read aloud,

“Claire, Jamie, Murtagh, Fergus and ye’re bairns;

I miss all of ye and pray for ye’re safety. It has been very quiet since you left.”

I looked at Jamie and said, “They’re fine and it’s quiet.” for some reason that struck all of us as funny and we laughed.


	19. Marriage and Sweeties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a preview of the next chapter, for anyone interested.
> 
> When I get the rest written I will 'edit' the chapter and add the rest.  
> 08/30/2020  
> Here is the rest of it ❤️

Monday November 7th, 1949

Lallybroch

We’d all slept in the same room again last night but the window in the second bedroom was finished before lunch and Murtagh had moved his and Fergus’s mattress in the newly finished room. 

“What are ye doing lad?” Murtagh asked. Jamie and I were in the dining room trying to feed the children so they could get down for a nap; if they were asleep we could have a quiet lunch. But we heard Murtagh and came out to see what was going on.

“I do not sleep in the room with you, you snore. I sleep with mi- my parents.” Fergus said.

Jamie looked at me. I nodded. We had to claim Fergus and let him stay with us; we had to prove we wanted to be parents to him.

“Aye, Fergus sleeps with us if he likes.” Jamie said. Murtagh looked at him and looked at me, then back to Jamie. Jamie shrugged. I wondered how long it took for them to develop their unspoken communication. Although, I thought, Jamie and I had our own way of communication without words.

“Fine, sleep in your parents room like the bairns. But come out to lunch with me.” Murtagh said.

“Out to lunch?” I said

“Aye, Violet is picking me up and we are going to lunch and then to look at shops. Shops that have sweets .” Murtagh said looking at Fergus. Fergus looked back at us.

“Aye, ye can go if ye like.” Jamie said to Fergus.

“Oui Monsieur, I would like to go.” Fergus said to Murtagh.

“Then get cleaned up and dressed.” Murtagh said. Fergus was wearing his pajamas. He dropped his mattress and ran to the bathroom for a shower. Murtagh looked at us and put his mattress back in his own room, not our room. I quickly understood I was going to be alone with my husband. My stomach turned over in excitement. I went back into the dining room to finish getting the children fed.

After they ate I went to the money envelope. I had given everyone pocket money but I knew a large portion of that went to the collection on Sunday at church. 

Before they left I gave Murtagh ten pounds and told him to be sure to pay for the food and buy something for Fergus to occupy him. I gave him a quick lesson on tips at the restaurant.

“I give people extra money to do their job?” He asked.

“Yes, if you want to talk about it I will when you get home, just do it today okay?” I asked.

“Aye, fine, but I just want-” Murtagh started but the rest was lost when we heard a car in the dooryard. He took off outside to meet Violet and I was surprised he gave up an argument that quickly.

I put some money in Fergus’s hand when he hugged me before leaving.

Violet had Roger and was happy Fergus was going with them. They left and Jamie and I waved from the door.

He closed it and turned around to face me. I started to speak but he leaned in to me and paused. I met him and we kissed. It was a long kiss, needy and eager. By the time we separated, because Faith started crying, I was breathing heavily. 

“We have to get the bairns down to sleep.” Jamie said. He was still only a few inches from my face and I gave him a quick kiss and went to get Faith.

I came out of our bedroom after getting Brianna down. Alex could take a bottle that Jamie enjoyed giving him, but Brianna wanted to nurse. Faith had waited to nurse but fell asleep before Brianna so I considered that a good thing. I knew she thought she should, but it felt odd nursing a three year old child.

The children were asleep and Murtagh and Fergus were out of the house so now I just had to find my husband. 

I found Jamie in the dining room. I stood in the doorway and watched him. He’d moved the big table to one side of the room and brought a new mattress in to place on the floor at the other side of the room. There were blankets and pillows on the mattress and I saw him run his hands through his hair and straighten his clothing. He hadn’t seen me yet and I acted like I had just spotted him.

“There you are.” I whispered. I went straight to him and put my arms around him. Seeing he was the least bit nervous made him even more attractive to me if that was possible. 

No words were spoken for the next hour. We kissed like we were air to each other because in a way, we were. Jamie ran his hands lightly down my arms and goosebumps raised over my entire body. I shivered and brought him closer to me so we were touching. He pulled my shirt off and I took the rest of my clothes off. He was naked in record time and I smiled as we sat on the mattress.

I brought his head to my breasts. I wanted him to empty my breasts again because it felt so freeing. He was more sensitive on his back and I ran my nails right below his neck.

Jamie held my face between his hands and I saw the question in his eyes. In answer I wrapped my legs around him and he entered me fast and hard. It was a wondrous feeling to be joined with him again; like comfort and excitement rolled together. In only a few moments and we were both spent. My breathing was almost normal when I realized Jamie’s earlobe was right next to my mouth.

We made love again and was working on a third time when there was noise from the room where the children were asleep. 

“Ma?” I heard Faith’s tiny little voice call out. I kissed Jamie then got up to get her. She was sitting up on her mattress looking around. The twins were still asleep.

I went in and picked her up, even naked as I was. She snuggled in close and I took her to the bathroom. She still had some accidents but I was trying to potty train her. 

Jamie already had his pants on and he took care of Faith while I cleaned up and got dressed. His eyes followed me everywhere and I hoped Fergus would be okay with Murtagh’s snoring tonight.

We ate and played hide and seek with Faith. The twins woke up and I heard Faith call them Bree and Ally and that was sweet to me but Jamie laughed. We did work on the third bedroom and got the window in much quicker than expected. 

I felt much better that evening. If it is possible I think I had been physically aching for Jamie. He seemed more and more like he was getting back to his old self and I felt like things were truly going to be alright. 

I was making us sandwiches for dinner when Murtagh and Fergus came home. We went out to say hello to Violet and Roger.

“Muta!” Faith yelled and ran to Murtagh. I don’t know what attached her to him so strongly but it was sweet.

“Aye, Faith!” He said and leaned down to catch her as she ran to him. He picked her up and twirled her around. “I’ve brought ye a sweety lass.” Murtagh said. She looked blank at that because she didn’t know what candy was yet.

Violet hugged me and we walked a little past the car. “Claire, is it odd? I do enjoy Murtagh’s company.” Violet said and looked nervous.

“Not at all, Violet, he is a good man.” I said. Murtagh had many good qualities and loyalty was only one of those, even if it was the one I knew most.

I invited Violet and Roger in and they stayed past dinner. When Violet was leaving Murtagh walked her out and Faith tried to follow them out but Murtagh and Violet were already outside. I went to get her and saw Murtagh and Violet kissing. I grabbed Faith and I went back to the kitchen where Fergus was still telling Jamie all about their day.

Later that night we gathered in the front room to sit by the fireplace and listen to the radio. Before I turned it on I pulled out the letters from Jenny and Ian.

“I’ve gone through them and we have enough to read some every day and it will take us through Sunday, because I don’t want to read them all in one day.” I said and looked at Jamie. He nodded and Murtagh shrugged so I started,

_ “Dear Claire, Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus, _

_ You left today and I tried to talk Ian into going after you. Not to stop you, but to go with you to be sure you would be okay. I miss you Claire, you were here with me every day. I keep telling myself it is for the best; that you’ll be in a time where Jamie and Murtagh are free to live normally. I miss you that’s all. _

_ Ian and I have talked and we decided to tell people we had an argument with Claire and she took Fergus and went to see her family in France. It will be hard to say but Ian had me practice so I sound convincing.  _

_ The children are doing well but they miss their Auntie Claire. I’ve told them letters will come. _

_ I have prayed every few minutes for your safe travels. I miss you all very much. _

_ Please be strong and take good care of yourselves and each other, _

_ Jenny _

Jamie got up and held me until I stopped crying. Fergus got up and left the room and Jamie and I followed him to see what was wrong. We saw him with his bag and trying to drag his mattress out of our room. In the back of my mind I wondered how it got back in our room.

“What’s wrong lad?” Jamie asked.

“Be strong she said, so I shall sleep by myself, in my own bedroom. I do not need to listen to snoring and I won’t sleep with the babies. Just wait till I tell wee Jamie I have my own room.” Fergus laughed and maneuvered his mattress and things into the third bedroom.


	20. Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my fantastic readers,
> 
> Thank you for choosing to read this story!
> 
> Thank you Diana Gabaldon who created Outlander and actually has rights to these characters.

Thursday November 12th 1747  
Lallybroch

“If ye dinna settle ye will go straight to bed.” Jenny said to a sqirming wee Jamie. Ian was standing by the fireplace holding Katherine but he gave his son a stern look.  
“Alright.” Jenny said and opened the letter for today. They had been trying to space out the letters from Claire and Jamie over the week so they have something to read everyday.

  
_“Dear Jenny and Ian,_

  
_We took another ride today (in the car was written but they had previously read the letter and knew what to leave out for wee Jamie) and things are very different here. Life goes faster than I like, but we are safe._

  
_We had dinner with Claire’s friends; Violet and Reginald, the pastor. Murtagh is sweet on Violet and it is almost painful to watch him try to express it to her. Her cooking is amazing though, almost as good as home. It is nice to have people to talk to (who know where we are from)._

  
_The bairns have settled in and started to sleep through the night again. We miss ye’re advice very much._

  
_We think of ye both and wee Jamie and the girls everyday and we miss ye. Fergus talks about wee Jamie all the time and I know he misses his friend that was like a brother to him. Claire stares off in space, but doesn’t talk when she is remembering you Jenny._

  
_We are living in a house that needs a lot of repairs. (What was written was Lallybroch needs a lot of repairs in 1949 but we are still very grateful to be here.) It is challenging to learn new ways and Murtagh is enjoying his grumbling._

  
_(I know Claire has already told you about Faith. I keep thinking it’s not real but there she is with my hair and our Mother’s nose and Claire’s fingers. I dinna ken if it is right or not to have her, but she is here and I am grateful to God to have any time with her.) Jenny agreed with Ian that none of this was fit for wee Jamie._

  
_I love ye and miss ye very much. I know I already said it and maybe I should articulate it better, but simply we miss the rest of our family._

  
_Ye’re loving brother,_   
_J”_

  
Jenny wiped her tears and folded the letter back. “To bed.” Jenny said and wee Jamie got up and kissed his Mother on the cheek, then ran up the steps.

  
When wee Jamie was up the stairs Jenny held the letter to her heart and took a deep breath. She looked up to see Ian watching her.

  
“I ken, just give me a minute.” She said and closed her eyes again. She smelled the letter. It didn’t smell like regular ink and paper. Jenny held it to her heart and imagined hugging Jamie and Claire, then read it through a few times.

  
Finally she handed the letter to Ian. He gave Katherine to Jenny and he read the letter once more. Then he tossed it in the fire and the two of them watched it burn.  
Jenny was silently crying.

  
“It’s for our safety.” Ian said.

  
Jenny just nodded because she didn’t trust her voice. This was the fifth letter they’d burned and it was getting more difficult, not easier.

Thursday November 10th, 1949  
Lallybroch

  
Written from Jamie’s point of view. Why? To see what it sounded like and I like it. Let me know what you think.

I’d woken early this morning, before anyone else. I slipped out of our bedroom and went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Showers were wonderful. I’d like to thank the person who figures out how to pipe clean water into a house but Claire had no idea who that would be. I tiptoed back into our bedroom hoping to wake Claire with my head between her thighs but I was too late. She was sitting naked in the rocking chair we’d found, nursing Brianna. I closed the door as quietly as I could; she hadn’t heard me yet.  
I took a step into the room so I could see her better, The morning light was coming through the window and it lit her hair, all those wonderful unruly curls. Her eyes were closed and she had one leg up on the seat to hold Brianna and the other touching the floor to rock. She was so beautiful. My cock grew hard just looking at her.  
She was humming very quietly. Brianna was asleep and had detached from Claire’s breast; one delicious drop rested on her nipple. I wondered again what I had ever done in my life that God saw fit to give me this woman.

  
She stood up and laid Brianna down. Claire stood up and crawled back into bed. When she realized I wasn’t in bed she popped her head up, eyes opened, saw me and smiled. I saw her look down at my cockstand and she smiled even bigger. Claire pulled the covers back on my side and I went to get back into bed.  
Instead of staying on her side she rolled over to the middle. When I got into bed she wrapped a leg around me and brought me towards her. I looked for her mouth and found it quickly. In the morning, Claire tasted like flowers, spring air and wild things. I gently bit her lip a bit and she opened her legs and took me inside her. She felt so good. I stayed still for a moment just feeling her but she whispered my name and squeezed my hand to let me know she wanted her pleasure. I started moving slowly because I knew what she would do. She tightened all around me and then I had to go faster. Claire pivoted her hips and she grunted as I went deeper inside her. She wrapped her arms around me and brought me closer to her. Claire’s release came quickly and in waves. Mine came a second later and was hard and fast.

  
I rolled to my side and brought her close to me so we could rest for a while. I held her hand and kissed whatever my lips could reach.

  
When I next opened my eyes Claire was gone and I knew it was late. I got up and dressed as quickly as possible and went to find Claire.

  
Murtagh was standing in the dining room looking out the window. I joined him to see Claire, Fergus and the children out walking.  
“What time is it?” I asked my Godfather.

  
“Well, good morning to ye Jamie, how are ye?” He said.

  
“I’m sorry, good morning.” I said.

  
“It’s almost lunchtime. Claire took the children out to make something called a daisy chain.” Murtagh said.

  
“What is a daisy chain?” I asked.

  
“Do ye think I ken?” He said.

  
I looked at all the papers on the table. “What’s all this?”

  
“Since we decided to try what the Reverend suggested, to have weekend lessons, Claire wants to ken what we will need.” Murtagh said.

  
I sat down to look at the papers and before I knew it Claire, Fergus, and the children were back. There was a small circle of daisy’s around all their heads except Fergus; his daisy’s were around his wrists.

  
“Good morning.” I said and got up to kiss my wife. She smiled her mischievous smile.

  
“Good morning, are you feeling alright? You sure were tired.” Claire said and her eyes twinkled.

  
Murtagh looked at me and looked away. I think he *almost* laughed.

  
“I thought after lunch, after the twins go down for a nap we could do some shopping for supplies.” Claire said. I nodded. I had no idea where we would go but I could protect my wife anywhere.

  
Claire and I ate sandwiches and went over the pages of ideas of things we would need to get the sword fighting lessons started and figured out lists we would need if we took five students or ten students. As it worked out I would need ten to be profitable. I didna think there would be ten people wanting to learn sword fighting so we didn’t plan to get anything.

  
Claire nursed the twins and Faith. The twins were asleep but Faith was still up. Claire was very hesitant to leave with Faith awake.

  
“Aye, the two of ye get out of here. Fergus and I can watch ye’re bairns. Two of ‘em are asleep!” Murtagh said and picked up Faith who was pulling on his kilt.

  
Fergus looked at Faith climbing all over Murtagh. “I will watch the sleeping ones milad-mother.” He said. I smiled and nodded at him. I should bring him something back.

  
“Aye Claire, the two of ye get out of here.” Faith said mimicking Murtagh. Murtagh laughed and I pulled Claire out the door.

When we went into the grocery store it was very hard not to gape in astonishment. Claire had already told me it was where you went to buy food, but I didn’t think there would be so much food there.

  
“Where does all this food come from?” I asked Claire.

  
“Large farms, companies that manufacture it, other places that I don’t know about.” She said and looked at the large pile of apples.

  
“If ye didna ken where it comes from how can ye purchase it?” I asked her. Then she told me about national standards and laws on companies that manufacture food. I didna say anything else but I would be happy when we grow our own food.

We were walking down the row with pieces of meat packaged up when I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and saw wee Roger running down the row. I put a hand down and picked him up easily. Children were easy to keep safe; it was all those other things you needed to do for them that was difficult.

“Hallo Mr. Fraser.” Wee Roger said with all the dignity he could muster while hanging upside down from my arm. I righted him and stood him up.

“Hello Roger, what are ye running from lad?” I asked with Claire looking at us.

“Mrs. Graham is making me take a bath when we get home.” He said, like it was the most awful thing in the world.

I leaned down to him so no one else would hear me and said, “That’s because ye stink lad. Ye should take it like a man, and be glad of it.” I smiled at him as he nodded. Just then Mrs. Graham came around the corner and we said our hello’s.

“Murtagh isna with ye then?” She asked quietly.

“No, not today.” I said and tried to hide my smile. She thanked me for catching the lad and before turning to leave looked back at us.

“Have ye made a decision about sword fighting lessons on weekends?” She asked. I looked at Claire and we didn’t say anything right away.

“Because the Reverend has had people calling him all week. From as far as London!” She said. “He’s got a list of ninety people last I knew. Just something to consider.” Violet told us. We thanked her for the news and wished her a good day and we walked away calmly.

Claire nor I spoke the rest of the time in the store. We picked up a few more things; meat, ice cream and some sweets for the children. We purchased our food and got the bags in the automobile. As soon as the door closed we started talking again.

“Wow, eighty people!” I said.

“If even half of that comes for a weekend we would be set for the winter!” Claire said.

“How can I teach eighty people?” I said

“Ok, ok, we need to talk this through. We already have a new book for Fergus and bread from the bakery, a sport coat for Murtagh,” She was running a list in her head so I didn’t interrupt. “Okay, let’s get home and talk about this.” She said.

On the way home we talked about how I’d get started. I wanted to give a demonstration with Murtagh before I gave any lessons to be sure people knew what they would be learning. I’d seen the signs in town and there was a small fair at the catholic church we attended and I planned to call and talk to someone about putting on a demonstration.

Well, I would ask Claire how to call, I didn’t quite understand the telephone yet.

When we were almost home we passed the spot where we’d stopped on the way out to town. Claire had pulled the automobile over and not said a word. She didn’t speak when she parked, or when she situated herself, or when she leaned over and lifted my kilt, and she especially didn’t say anything when she took me in her mouth. I looked at her with a wide smile as I remembered it and I saw her smiling also.

When we got home I took everything in because she went to find the bairns. I knew it was hard for her to leave them. Fergus was in our bedroom trying to change the twin’s clouts and they were running everywhere and laughing. He was very relieved to see her, she told me later.

We didn’t see Murtagh or Faith but we heard giggling in the yard. We both looked everywhere to no avail. Finally I stood in the yard and bellowed, “Faith.”

“Aye lad, we’re up here.” Murtagh said.

Claire and I looked craned our necks to see Faith and Murtagh up a tree and I saw Claire visibly pale. “Come down.” I said and held Claire.

Murtagh jumped from about ten feet up, which I knew from experience he could do successfully. I’d never seen him do it with a passenger, but Faith was small and I hoped she made little difference to his ability.

He landed and the sound of his boots hitting the ground was a loud thud. Claire jumped at the sound and turned her head back to see Faith giggling and sitting on Murtagh’s shoulder.

Claire glared at Murtagh for a solid half minute and then she turned and went in the house after grabbing Faith.

“What did I do?” Murtagh asked. I looked at him and I knew it was a serious question.

“Come on.” I said and waved him over to continue working on the barn while I explained that taking our three year old up a tree is not a good idea.  
~

Before dinner Claire gave Murtagh a mouthful and he apologized. She forgave him then it was over and we had a peaceful dinner. That was one of the many things I admired about Claire; when she forgave it was over. She didn’t bring things back up later.

After dinner was cleaned up we all played hide and go seek. Claire was intent on teaching the twins this game. When it was time for bed I liked to watch Claire. Her breasts were fit to bursting. We took the children in to go to bed and she nursed them while I read a book. I usually kept a blanket over my lap because I didn’t want my bairns to see me with a cockstand.

After they were asleep we went out to read another letter. Claire really looked forward to the letters.

I read it that night, it was from Jenny;

_“Hello my family, I dreamt last night that ye came home. Ye’ll were fat and happy and had two more bairns for me to hug. Fergus was a man grown and Murtagh was marrit and had his own bairn. It was a happy dream but when I woke up I worried more because I thought mayhaps it was heaven I dreamed of because everyone was so happy. I will be glad to hear from ye, that is true. I didna ken what happened so I nae ken if ye’re safe._

_I will admit to something. I love ye’ll and I miss all of ye. But right now I miss Claire the most. Claire, we spent our days together, we talked and laughed together, we worrit together. I miss my sister, my friend._

_I pray every day, every hour really for the safety of my family._

_I love ye,_   
_J”_

  
I looked up to see Claire crying and I moved Murtagh over to sit by her.

Fergus got up to read us his letter to wee Jamie. It was all about his room that was his own; his comfortable mattress, the tall dresser, the mirror on the wall and the books he was reading. My ears perked up but he gave a very general description of the books. Claire laughed through her tears. We listened to a song on the radio and went to bed.  
We walked with Fergus to his room and let him show off a bit. Murtagh was standing back shaking his head; he was worrit the lad would get soft. I just wanted to get to bed, Claire needed comfort and I gave it to her the best way I knew.

  
Friday was calm, Murtagh and I worked on repairing the barn and figured out what we would do for a sword fighting demonstration and even had time to practise a bit. Claire had given me the number for the church office and I called to ask if Murtagh and I could do a performance. They were happy to have me perform and offered me money to do a thirty minute time slot two times on Saturday. I said nay to the money; how could ye take money from a church?

  
Saturday was dry and warm for November. We borrowed a cloth push cart with wheels the bairns could sit in but Faith would be walking. Well, walking whenever Murtagh wasna carrying her.

  
We went to the fair and checked in to let them know we were there. They gave us paper exchange slips for food and drinks and such. There was a machine that Claire called a ‘ride’ and Faith and Fergus went on it. It looked dangerous so Murtagh and I moved to opposite sides of the thing and were prepared to catch Faith and Fergus in case it collapsed. It was fine though and the lad said it was fun and Faith kept asking to go again so they rode it once more.

  
Claire went into the tent marked ‘Mothers tent” and it was as she thought; a tent for women to nurse their bairnes in private. She took the twins and went in, Faith wanted to stay with us. While we were waiting Reginald and Violet found us and we had a pleasant exchange of saying hello and watching Murtagh’s cheeks turn pink when Violet kissed his cheek.

  
“I’m surprised to see you at a catholic fair.” I said to Reginald. In my time the pastors and father’s would never have crossed paths.

“We worship the same God, aye? And it’s nae a mass, just a fair to raise money. Did ye see there is to be sword fighting in thirty minutes?” He asked.

  
“Aye, it’s us. Murtagh and I will be doing it.” I told him and he looked stunned.

  
“So, you’ve decided?” He asked me.

  
“Aye, we have. We would be very happy to teach young men to sword fight.” I said and nodded to Murtagh but he was speaking quietly with Violet.

  
“I’m very pleased Jamie, I think this would be an excellent source of income for you, that way Claire won’t go back to work. I know she said she wanted to and it’s a good source of income but…” He went on for a few more minutes but I didna hear it. I never thought of Claire working. Why had I never thought of it? She is a nurse, I ken it, and she loved to help people. I turned around to go in the tent to talk to her and remembered at the last minute it was for women only.

  
“Claire,” I called. “Are ye in there alone?” I asked. I hadn’t heard any talking so I thought she was but I didna want to open the door and break the privacy in a women's only tent.

  
“Yes, why-” She started but I was through the tent door leaving Reginald wondering what was going on.

  
Alex was sleeping in the push cart and Claire was feeding Brianna. I got one of the chairs and moved it close to Claire.

  
“Why didna ye tell me ye wanted to work?” I asked.

  
“What?” She said.

  
“Reginald and Violet are standing outside the door. Did ye tell Violet ye wanted to go to work?” I asked and she stared at me for a minute then looked away.

  
“Nae lass,” I gently brought her chin back up to look at me, “talk to me, tell me.” I said.

  
“Yes, I told Violet I wanted to work.” Here she whispered, “But it’s different here, I would have to leave the house alone and go to work alone. I didn’t want to bring it up because we are still new, I wanted to be sure you and Murtagh could manage before I brought it up, I wanted to be sure the twins would be alright without me.” She said.

  
“We can manage, go to work.” I said. “I’m a grown man, I can manage Claire.” I said. I ken I was out of my own time but it was humiliating to think my own wife thought she had to care for me like I was a lad.

“Wait,” She said. Brianna was finished and let out a loud burp and closed her eyes. Claire put her in the cart.

“I know ye can manage, but the twins, they are still nursing. How can I leave you when I haven’t shown you how to light the oven, -” She was listing things but I cut her off.

“Show me tonight.” I said.

“Or how to drive in case you need to get medical help and I’m not there.” She said and her voice quavered. This was it, this was the big reason. She was not only nursing the twins and making us food, she was the only driver and she worrit for our safety.

“Claire, ye must teach me. Unless ye want me to learn from someone else.” I said. She looked at me with a tear in her eye and nodded.

“Uh,” we heard Reginald clear his throat from outside the tent. “Sorry, but if Claire is too busy I can teach ye Jamie.” he said.

I looked at Claire and we both smiled and shook our heads. She buttoned her top back up and wrapped the blanket around the twins. We left the tent and it was agreed they would both teach me.

After that Murtagh and I went to prepare. We were dressed in full highland garb except for the heavy little clips Claire got us. We put them inside the kilt so they didn’t show but they were heavy to keep the kilts down in the wind.

When Murtagh and I came out there must’ve been fifty people or more to watch us. I was the one speaking as Murtagh made it plain he was not going to talk to this big group.

“Hello, thank ye for watching our little demonstration.” I said and turned back to Murtagh because I didna know what else to say.

Murtagh and I had worked on how to get started in the barn the previous day but we both forgot it because we started the same way we always did to get our exercise and before long someone blew a whistle.

When we stopped everyone was clapping, and the crowd had grown. The father came over and said to the crowd, “I know ye all have questions, but they went the 30 minutes so we have to get the next show started.”

Murtagh and I picked up our things and we went back inside to clean up a bit so we missed the rest of the exchange.

The Pastor had gone on to give the next time for our display. People had yelled questions and Reginald had announced he knew me and how to get signed up for lessons which got him mobbed by the crowd. Half of them were still there when we came out.

“What is going on?” I asked Claire, seeing the mob around Reginald.

“He is taking names and numbers of people that want lessons from you.” She said. I looked at her to be sure what she was saying was true and it was. She even looked at me and I saw she was proud of me. I think my shoulders grew an extra inch and I felt taller. My woman is proud of me.

“Uh, do ye mind teaching lasses?” Reginald asked much later that day when we were walking to our automobiles. I looked at him.

“I dinna think lasses would want to learn, nae I dinna mind. I will teach lasses.” I said.

“Then adding the one hundred and three names I have at the manse, you now have one hundred and ninety six possible students.” Reginald said and looked at me.

I stopped and looked at him. One hundred and ninety six? I knew it was not possible if Reginald had not suggested I go into that class and I nodded my thanks to him. He smiled and nodded back.

We said our goodbyes and we would see them the next day for lunch.

  
Murtagh and I talked all the way home about how to get started and we wondered if a full weekend was the way to go. Maybe we could get ten wooden swords and have a short, one or two hour introduction course for a small price so people could try it. To be sure they wanted to commit to a weekend.

  
We got home and I helped Claire get the children fed and down before showering myself. I was very proud of what we’d done to get students but I wanted to be sure I talked to Claire about her going to work.

  
She was sitting on the porch drinking a cup of tea and I kissed her and sat next to her.

  
“How do we get ye to work?” I asked.

  
“Are you absolutely sure Jamie? Because once I start-” Claire was saying.

  
“Sassenach, stop. Do ye want to work?” I asked.

  
“Yes,” She said.

  
“Then it is simple ye ken, if ye want to work then ye will work.” I said and held her hand.

  
She looked at me and raised her eyebrow. “Some men do not want their wife to work.” Claire said. I kent that, I had known men that didna allow their wife off their property let alone to earn money.

  
“Ye are not a regular woman, ye are my extraordinary wife. If it is my choice then I say ye can do anything ye want, well, that's reasonable.” I said and kissed Claire’s hand.

  
“I will call the hospital in the morning and inquire about available spots.” She said and sat her cup down and sat in my lap. She kissed me and I returned it. She smelled of herbs and I knew she had been working in the kitchen.

  
“Let’s. Go. to. Bed.” Claire said each word then accentuated it with a kiss. How could I not agree?


	21. Effects on a Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the updated and completed chapter!  
> I am excited for my lovely readers to read this one!
> 
> Thank you Diana Gabaldon who created Outlander and these characters.

Sunday November 13th, 1949

Lallybroch

(Back to Claire’s point of view)

I woke up early today for some reason and put my robe on, made myself some tea and sat on the porch. I loved this view; I could see the sun rise.

I was thinking about starting work this week. I had called the hospital Friday and they had several spots available and they asked me to come in Tuesday to talk. I knew I had to start with part time; I would miss everyone too much if I worked full time. I would probably be fine with part time; I still had a lot of time with my family and I would be working and bringing in money.

As I was sitting there I saw a person walk up over the hill. I watched him for a while and when I saw he was coming my way I started to stand up and go into the house to get a weapon but as soon as I stood up I saw it was Murtagh. 

He came to the porch and dropped his things. There were four dead pheasants…? Quail… ?

He sat down next to me and a big drink from my cup.

“Ach, I thought ye had whiskey lass!” He said and swallowed it gingerly.

“The sun is barely up, why would I have whiskey?” I asked him, but Murtagh just looked at me blankly. I knew that look; I’d traveled with him long enough to know when a question just didn’t seem valid to him.

I stood up, “I will go get you whiskey.” I started inside.

“Lass, sit down.” Murtagh said so I sat down.

“See,” He made that deep Scottish noise of disapproval in his throat. “Claire, what is wrong with ye’ lass? He asked.

“Nothing is wrong with me, why?” I asked.

He made the noise again. “See, again. What are ye doin? Ye were never a meek little lass, where is ye’re fire? A few years ago ye’d never get you to get me whiskey, especially if I didn’t ask for it yet. If ye were in a good mood ye might bring me a bottle but only after I asked ye twice.” Murtagh said and looked in the distance.

“I didna think I even heard ye say curse words since we’ve been here?” His voice softened and he asked, “What has changed Claire?” Then he looked at me.

I didn’t know what to say at first. Initially I thought I hadn’t changed, but the more I thought about it the more I knew he was right. By a little.

“You’re right.” I said and looked in the distance. Why have I changed, and why didn’t I realize it myself?

Murtagh coughed and spit my tea out; he was taking a drink when I told him he was right. I handed him my napkin and looked back in the distance.

“I’ve tried to stop cursing since I had the twins. I don’t want to have young children getting confused with sailors.” I said, still looking in the distance. Maybe I was a little defensive but what parent of young children ever went around cussing?

“What?” Murtagh asked.

“You know, because sailors curse a lot, that's the saying.” I said.

“Lass, I dinna ken what ye’re talking about, but if it helps ye get yerself right, just go on about it.” Murtagh said and put his feet up.

I didn’t say anything for a long couple of minutes. “Maybe for multiple reasons; I wanted to be sure you and Jamie would be happy here with me.” I said softly. 

Murtagh didn’t move but he said, “Jamie would be happy to be with ye in any situation, as long as ye’re wit’ him. Don’t go changing for him, he loved ye as ye were lass. I like ye well enough and ye ken it.” Murtagh didn’t look at me. 

“My Mother died when I was very young and I don’t know how to be a wife and mother without turning into a regular Betty crocker I think.” I said slowly, like I was pulling the thoughts out as they came.

Murtagh gave his scottish throat noise that sounded like he agreed with me. I wondered if he knew who Betty crocker was anyway.

I stood up quickly and Murtagh looked at me in surprise. “I’m going to talk to Violet. She is a widow and raised children, and she didn’t lose her identity.” I said and walked to the door.

“Lass,” Murtagh jumped up and grabbed his...rabbits!? Why did I think they were birds? “Can I come with ye?” He asked.

“Sure, but today’s Sunday, it’s Church first, and we all are going.” I said and smiled. He gave me the scottish noise again.

I went to the kitchen to make coffee as Jamie and Murtagh liked it- dark and rich. I was looking through the cabinet thinking about stopping at the grocery store when I heard noises then the children started crying. I ran to my bedroom. They didn’t wake crying anymore; usually the children woke in good moods. 

When I got there I saw Jamie still on the bed, having what appeared to be a seizure and the twins sitting on their beds crying. Faith was sitting next to Jamie on the bed patting his hand. I stuck my head out of the door and yelled for Fergus.

I got his pillow under Jamie’s head and I put mine behind his head so he didn’t hit the wall. He seemed to calm a bit when I touched him. I looked at Faith and she nodded. Did she realize that too? 

Fergus came in the room and I had him get the children out. I was keeping both hands on Jamie and I was still running seizure issues through my head... _no previous seizures known, no seizure disorder, no recent bumps on the head… and then it hit me… damn! I had only opened it once._

“Murtagh, get the little package that is in my old cloak.” I said quickly. Murtagh gave me a look. “Just do it, please!” I said. He went and got the little package from Master Raymond and brought it to me. He was looking very curious.

“Open it.” I said and nodded to the bed right in front of me. I didn’t want to take my hands off Jamie. Master Raymond usually wrote instructions on the inside of packages and this one was no different;

_Changes to time can cause problems for travelers and can manifest by headaches, nausea, even as much as seizures for untreated symptoms. A pinch under the tongue every 12 hours will hold the symptoms at bay until the memory straightens itself out._

I read it quickly to refresh my memory and took a generous pinch and got it near Jamie’s tongue at least. His seizure lasted about thirty seconds more, then was completely gone.

When Jamie stopped seizing Murtagh let his breath out and sat on the floor, right where he was standing. I looked at Murtagh and he looked at me. Jamie hadn’t opened his eyes.

I checked his pulse and he had one. “He has a pulse.” I slapped Jamie across the face. I don’t know what compelled me to do it but I slapped him before I even thought about it. “Wake up you damned stubborn scot.” Murtagh picked me up and set me about 2 feet further back from the bed. We stood there for a minute, then we heard;

“Sassenach, ys dinna hav’to slap me again.” Jamie said.

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and Murtagh hugged me. We both made the sign of the cross. This was not natural behaviour for me and I knew I would think about it later.

Jamie sat up but he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. I refused and told him to get dressed because he was going to the hospital. This was my time and we were going to do this my way. I felt the fire coming back already. I don’t think I actually lost it, maybe it was just dampened. 

Jamie was stable so I got everyone loaded up in the automobile then came back for him. After I got him in we left for the manse. My plan was to leave Murtagh, Fergus and the children with Violet while I got Jamie checked out.

Thankfully Violet was home. I should’ve called before I left but I just didn’t think about it. She was very nice about me leaving my group with her and I set off to the hospital with Jamie to get an EEG.

I parked the automobile and we were walking up to the building when I said, “There is a lot of advancement in medicine, please just stay quiet when you are surprised.”

Jamie nodded and took my hand. I was more nervous even though he was the one having a new experience. We entered the hospital and went to the emergency room. They weren't busy, so we were taken straight back. Vitals and blood were taken. Jamie was very quiet through it all. The doctor did recommend an EEG. 

After the transport person took Jamie back for the test the Doctor and I talked. Doctor Curraigh knew me from when I worked at the hospital last year and he also knew I was looking for a job. The nurse brought information in the room and the Doctor arranged a schedule for me. I made sure I had almost two weeks before I planned to return to work because I needed to sort Jamie out first. I felt only a little guilty but he had to have the actual test taken by himself anyway. I knew they didn’t allow family with them. I was worried about how he would do but I trusted Jamie to keep his astonishment to himself.

As soon as we got in the automobile Jamie let loose on the advancements. “I canna even imagine how all these things came into being.” He took my hand and said, “I am so proud to have a wife who knows how all those things work.”

I looked at him for a minute and I felt warm all over. Then the reality of what he said sunk in and I told him, “I don’t know how all those things work, just some of them. You see-.” But I didn’t get to finish my explanation because Jamie kissed me.

Back at the manse Violet and Murtagh were sitting in the front yard enjoying the unusual warmth of a November noon. Faith was sitting in Murtagh’s lap and Violet was holding his hand. 

I started to open Jamie’s door for him but stopped myself. He only fumbled twice. Fergus is the only one who got in and out of the car without issue. Come to think of it, Fergus was doing quite well in this time. 

Everyone swarmed to Jamie as soon as he was in the yard. I could see his balance was still a little off and he took the twin’s hands instead of picking them up like he would normally do.

We got inside and we were sitting around the table drinking tea and eating sandwiches that Violet already had made for us when Murtagh said, “Well, what happened?”

Everyone got quiet and looked at Jamie. He looked around the table. “I’m fine, I ken something’s not right, but I feel fine. My brain is trying to bust out of my skull sometimes, but I am alright.” He emphasized the ‘alright’.

Violet looked at me. I explained further, “He had an EEG and it was clear. He had an xray of his skull and it was also clear. He’s been having headaches and an upset stomach. He hasn’t communicated this so I was unaware. I think it is a problem related to time travel.” I took a drink of my tea and told her about the package from Master Raymond.

“How long hav’ye had the symptoms Jamie?” Violet asked.

“Just a couple days, two or three.” Jamie said.

“But ye’ve been back thirteen days.” Violet said and looked at me. 

I nodded. I was very worried about these symptoms that seemed wrong. If Jamie had problems from changes in time why didn’t he have them when we first got here, after I killed Jack Randell.

The Reverend came home and insisted we stay for dinner. Jamie, the twins and Faith took a nap in our old room. Violet and I talked and we went over home remedies for nausea. I told her about acting like Betty crocker and we talked about her married life.

The twins and Faith got up in an hour or so but Jamie slept until dinner. Fergus and Roger had a grand time playing together.

Dinner was made for us and another ten people. There was so much food it didn’t fit on the table; Violet had a row of dishes on the counter. It was delicious. Maybe I should ask her for lessons.

While we were eating dessert Violet brought up an interesting idea. “Claire, if ye would like to have a girl out to Lallybroch while ye work I can give ye a few names of local girls I ken.”

“That’s a great idea-” I started to respond but wasn’t able to finish because a fork clattered to the ground.

“Do ye think I am not able to care fer my own bairns?” Jamie asked me slowly.

“Of course you are, but you have your own work, getting the sword fighting lessons off the ground.” I said. I really never thought he wasn’t capable, just that things would be busy.

He looked at me for about half a minute and it was silent. I stared right back. I was telling the truth; I just thought things would be busy and it might be nice to have help. He finally saw I was telling the truth and he nodded.

“I see yer point, it might be nice to have help if we can afford a servant.” Jamie said and started eating his cake. Then we had to explain the differences in servants of his time and a sitter or housekeeper in this time. It was very difficult to not laugh during this part of the evening.

After dinner I had a quiet moment alone with Jamie and I opened the pouch so Jamie could take a pinch to put under his tongue. He was reluctant but he took it. When we got ready to leave Violet loaded us up with leftovers that I tried to give back, but was grateful when she refused. I thanked her again for today and expressed my apology for her not going to Sunday service. She was nice about it, and told me God understood.

We were coming back in three days because Jamie and Murtagh were giving an introductory lesson to a group of ten people. I hoped Jamie would be ready.

We loaded ourselves in our car and I drove home. I saw Jamie watching everything I did and made a mental note to not let him drive for at least a few days. The children and Fergus fell asleep in the back seat. Faith was on her ‘Muta’s’ lap and was very cute holding onto him.

We pulled up in the dooryard and we started to get out of the car. Jamie pushed the children back into the car and whispered, “Sassenach.” I knew what that meant and I quietly opened the glove box and handed him his dirk. I looked around… a snake? A wild animal…?

Then I looked to the door and the steps and yelled for Jamie to wait. 

Master Raymond was sitting on the steps.


	22. A murder reversed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love hearing back from the readers so please feel free to drop a comment.
> 
> Diana Gabaldon is the creator/owner of Outlander.

**Sunday November 15, 1747**

**Lallybroch 9:59pm**

Ian and Jenny sat where they had been sitting last week with their letters and the rock. She was so excited and nervous it was difficult to wait.

**10:00pm**

Jenny had to remind herself to breathe. In a minute she would be touching Claire and getting more letters from her family. Maybe more buttons, the ones from last week were wonderful and they were on Ian’s good coat.

**10:02pm**

Jenny was starting to get very worried now. She looked up at Ian and he shrugged.

“What could be holdin’ them up?” Jenny let out a long breath.

**10:05pm**

“Maybe they canna send it today?” Ian said. He’d already fallen asleep downstairs and the sun was up early even in November. Jenny said nothing.

**10:08pm**

“Ian!” Jenny said excitedly. He’d dozed off with his head against the wall. He sat straight up to see the rock lit up. It sparkled with a bright light.

Jenny held it and stroked the part where Claire’s fingers had come through last week and she was not disappointed this week. She saw two fingers come through; Claire’s long graceful fingers that smelled like herbs. Jenny grasped them like last week but it was more than two fingers. Claire’s whole hand came through the rock and she grasped Jenny’s hand and Jenny held it in both of hers. Jenny saw the ring her brother had given Claire and she held tight.

Ian was just watching. The rock was shining a little bit blue now and he was worried about the change. Ian moved closer to his wife just in case something happened.

“Jenny, sister, I’m sorry we were late.” Jamie said with tears in his throat.

Jenny gasped her surprise. “Jamie, it’s alright, just don’t forget about me.” She managed.

“Never Jenny, but I can’t hold this for much longer, read the pouch tonight, please. Can we do this again tomorrow at the same time?” Claire asked.

Jenny looked at Ian and he nodded. “Yes, yes.” She said while nodding.

Claire released her hand and grabbed the large stack of letters and pouch of powders and instructions. Not thinking about it, she pushed them through the rock with both hands. Jenny laughed on the other side.

“Sister, ye ken we really need to talk!” She smiled wide while she traded letter stacks.

“We will Sister, tomorrow.” Claire said. Jenny barely heard the word tomorrow as the rock darkened and then went dull and quiet.

Jenny looked at Ian and then leaned in to kiss him. “I am going to go through this pouch tonight, go to bed man.” 

Ian thought about trying to wait up but nodded and went to bed.

**Sunday November 13, 1949**

**Lallybroch 7:38pm**

Jamie stood there and I worried what his reaction would be to Master Raymond. He didn’t move for a minute; Jamie just stood there and looked at Master Raymond. “Good evening Master Raymond,” only he said it in perfect french. Master Raymond replied the same way. They spoke for a minute, on the steps,

Finally Jamie turned around and came back to the car. He handed his dirk back to me.

“Claire, you take this. I decided I dinna want to stab him.” Jamie said and handed me his dirk. I put it in my bag, I didn’t want to leave it in the car. 

We got the children and our things out of the car and walked up the steps. 

“Madonna.” Master Raymond said and bowed.

I nodded and unlocked the door. Jamie and Murtagh took the children and went in first. Fergus carried the food and I saw Master Raymond look at the bags. After everyone was in I invited him inside.

“Have a seat.” I said and motioned him to the table. He sat down and I unpacked our leftovers from the manse and got Master Raymond a plate. He ate heartily. I saw Master Raymond as a French person with the highest of manners. To see him now with meatloaf on his chin and shoving green beans in his mouth with speed made me pause and I stopped blaming him for Jamie’s seizure.

When he slowed down I decided it was to talk. “When did you get here?” I asked.

Master Raymond swallowed and thankly wiped the meatloaf off his face. “Four days ago. I had to travel on a regular day, instead of a feast day so it was exhausting. I slept on top of the hill for the first night and I’ve just been trying to find you ever since.” He took a big drink of milk.

“Why did ye come here? Why did ye go through on a regular day?” Jamie said from the doorway.

Master Raymond had startled when Jamie spoke. “Oh, please come sit with us.” Master Raymond said, standing. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus came in and sat at the table. Had they been lurking outside the doorway?

“I came here now because I had to…” Master Raymond looked at me, “Change what we did Madonna.” He said.

I looked at him without saying anything. The only thing we’d done is kill Jack Randall and get Faith.

“Killing Jack Randall at the time we did it,” he motioned to me, “Had to be undone.” He said quietly.

I stood up. “Faith.” I said. Okay maybe the monster lived but what about my wonderful, strange little girl. Murtagh and Jamie stood with me.

“I do not know Madonna.” Master Raymond said. Murtagh went for him over the table and Jamie had to pull him back.

“Tell us what ye do ken.” Jamie said, still holding a grumbling Murtagh. I was glad he asked because my hands were shaking.

“Killing him so early had other problems, problems that couldn’t stand. I know you remember killing him Madonna, because you did, but that was changed. I injured him, badly. He could not rape anyone nor could he do anything with his right hand because it is gone.” Master Raymond said. He finished looking like he was proud of himself.

“Faith.” I said again. Jesus H Roosevelt Christ if I didn’t get a better answer I was going over the table myself.

“I do not know Madonna. This happened two days after you killed him so I would think if she is still here then there was no sword fight between Jack Randall and Jamie Fraser that day in Paris. If there was no fight, you Madonna would not have miscarried, so Faith is here and will stay with you. That is my assumption.” Master Raymond said.

The tension went out of Murtagh. Jamie and I looked at each other remembering that dark time in our marriage. The moment was a long one, but I turned when I heard Faith’s voice.

“Yes Momma?” Faith said while she rubbed her eye and stood at the doorway.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry,” I picked her up and held her close, “I was just saying what a good girl my Faith is.” I said and kissed the top of her head.

Murtagh took her for me, “Come on ye wee lass, it’s off to bed fer ye.” He said.

“I want to sleep with ye Muta.” Faith said and nuzzled into Murtagh. He looked at me and I knew he wanted it. I looked at Jamie who gave a slight nod.

“Jamie would you please put Faith’s mattress in Murtagh’s room.” I said and Faith cheered.

“No playing!” I said to her and kissed her on the forehead. Jamie, Murtagh and Faith left the room.

I sat at the table and looked at Master Raymond. I had always found him so elegant and wise. He looked dirty, rumpled and I think he’s aged quite a bit since Paris. There was no reason to be angry at him. He wasn’t in control.

“Jamie had a seizure this morning. He’s been taking the powder today but is there anything else I can do?” I asked.

“Talk to him about his memories, that helps them to... straighten out so to speak.” He said and reached into his bag bringing out two pouches.

I looked up at the clock. It was almost nine thirty and I needed to put an end to this conversation. I still needed to gather the letters and prepare to send them through the rock to Jenny and Ian and bring ours back.

“I brought more powder for you and your family, and I have a small pouch for you to send Jenny and Ian. Since there were changes to Jack Randall twice they might be experiencing symptoms.” Master Raymond said.

“Thank you. I’m sorry we were angry at you, it felt like you were threatening Faith.” I said, hoping he didn’t carry a grudge.

“Of course Madonna, it is alright.” Master Raymond said and smiled. “Perhaps you should write a letter to Jenny and Ian to explain the powder. I spoke with Ahote who told me you used the rock on Sunday nights.” Master Raymond said. I nodded and went for pen and paper.

___________________

**Lallybroch 1949 November 13**

**9:59pm**

“It’s too much, you do it.” I said to Master Raymond.

“No Madonna, you can do it.” Master Raymond said.

I looked at the bundle of paper; in 1747 paper was very difficult to come by. I knew I should send it, but that and the letters and the pouch… it was just too much. 

Jamie was watching me and we locked eyes. Fergus was long asleep and Murtagh had fallen asleep reading Faith a book. He smiled and nodded. It was amazing to have Jamie in my corner; I felt like if I had the support of a man who could do what he could, then I could do anything.

“How?” I asked Master Raymond and I saw him smile

**10:05pm**

“I know I’m late, give me a minute.” I told Jamie. I knew Jenny wouldn’t give up, she would wait.

I closed my eyes and asked for help. I took a few breaths and opened my eyes. I held the rock and felt the energy. I stared at it and thought of Jenny and Ian and wee Jamie and...

**10:08pm**

The light was bright now, I knew I needed to put my whole hand through and grasp Jenny’s hand so she knew it was me. I was sending her medicine and she had to be secure about where it came from.

Jenny held my hand between two of hers and I turned my hand to be sure she would see my wedding ring.

Jamie walked up next to her and said, “Jenny, sister, I’m sorry we were late.” He had a soft look around his eyes thinking of his sister.

Jenny’s response came loud and clear, “Jamie, it’s alright, just don’t forget about me.” 

“Never Jenny, but I can’t hold this for much longer, read the pouch tonight, please. Can we do this again tomorrow at the same time?” I asked.

“Yes, yes.” Jenny said.

I released her hand and grabbed the large stack of letters and pouch of powders and instructions. Not thinking about it, I pushed them through the rock with both hands. I heard Jenny laugh.

“Sister, ye ken we really need to talk!” Jenny said.

“We will Sister, tomorrow.” I said. 

I pulled my hand back through and the rock dulled. I tried to put it back on the table but I swayed and the table seemed to move. 

“Sassanach.” I heard Jamie say from far away and the next thing I knew I opened my eyes and I was laying on the floor with Master Raymond’s glowing blue rock.

I have to get one of those!

“Madonna?” I heard Master Raymond say.

“I have to get me one of those glowing blue rocks.”I said.

“Madonna, you must rest, we will speak more in the morning.” Master Raymond said and I closed my eyes. I was exhausted.

Jamie picked me up and took me to bed where I was back to sleep in about 4 seconds. 

That night Jamie called Violet and agreed to a trial run of one of the women she’s chosen as possibilities to come help us. She had to be able to cook and Jamie told Violet that would be most of the job. 

He also got Master Raymond settled in a mostly finished room with a mattress on the floor. I found out later they talked a bit and made their peace. Jamie blamed Master Raymond for giving me the name of the  L'Hôpital des Anges in Paris and keeping me away from home. Master Raymond didn’t apologize but asked why should a ‘master’ healer be kept away from patients. I laughed when Jamie told me he used the word master.

The next day I woke up feeling wonderful and I reached for Jamie because if he was feeling good too, then maybe we could even feel better together. He wasn’t there. Faith was sitting by the open door and when she saw me she yelled out the door that I was awake then she ran to me and sat on my lap.

“Momma, you come meet Lily.” Faith said and bounced. Jamie and Murtagh came to the door. Murtagh stayed at the doorway but Jamie came in.

“Sassenoch, are ye alright? How do ye feel?” Jamie asked and sat next to me.

“I feel fine, very good, who is Lily?” I as ked.

Jamie smiled, “Get dressed Mo maise” he said and left the room.

I looked around and the twins were already up too. I got up and went to the window trying to gage the time. As soon as I got to the window I remembered I had clocks.

I got dressed and went out to the kitchen to see it full. Violet, Murtagh, Jamie, Fergus and the children were at the table talking. I’m guessing the strange woman at the stove was ‘Lily’.

I walked up to her, “Hi, I’m Claire.” I said.

“Hi Claire, I’m Lily. Give me a few minutes and I will shake that hand.” She was cooking pasta and grilled sandwiches. There was a pot of soup at the back of the stove.

I smiled at her and went to sit at the table. I found out Jamie had called Violet last night who’d called Lily this morning. She served lunch and served the children grilled cheese sandwiches. Fergus got an adult portion and I could see him sit a little taller.

Faith was sitting next to Murtagh who helped her and Lily was sitting between the twins. I ate heartily and Jamie looked at me often. I knew he was worried about me but I felt fine. Lily fit, and it was comfortable having her there. We couldn’t speak openly about travel and differences in time like we were used to, but it would help us immensely. 

In five hours time she bathed all the three of the children, washed a load of laundry and hung it outside, cooked lunch and ate with us and helped the twins, and prepared dinner. She left dinner in the refrigerator with cooking instructions. At the end of the day I asked her how often she could come and she was easy to work with our schedule. Lily was fine with the housekeeping/cooking and child care ratio and we agreed on a fair pay amount.

“Is Miss Lily gone?” Master Raymond asked.

“Yes, she just left. Why?” I asked. 

“Madame Graham is knowledgeable about what we do?” He asked me.

“Yes, she knows it all but she left with Lily.” I answered.

“Please, come with me, I want to show you something Madonna.” He said.

I followed him to the table and sat next to him. Everyone else sat back down at the table and looked at Master Raymond. He pulled out two large pieces of almost clear colored quartz or quartz like rock. I didn’t know rocks and minerals well but I could guess a few common ones. He handed me one of the rocks and held the other. 

It was the blue rock healing method he used. Master Raymond was teaching me to create it and use it. I was very happy because there were so many uses for it.

That night I was able to hold the communication rock open to talk for three minutes; Master Raymond was timing me. Jamie and I were both exultant to speak with Jenny and Ian. 

The next night it was four minutes.

The next was five minutes, and so on till I got up to eight minutes. I didn’t seem to be able to go above eight minutes but Master Raymond said I would be able to hold it open for longer with time. 

The blue rock healing method had a much higher learning curve. I was getting rather discouraged on this one.

I had been taking Jamie out driving multiple times a day. One the second day we started taking a trip to the hospital every day. I wanted to be sure he could bring anyone in our family to the hospital if they needed it. SInce Lily was coming everyday I started also teaching Murtagh to drive and he drove multiple times to the hospital. I wanted to be sure I had all my bases covered.

That Saturday Master Raymond left. It was funny; when he came I was mad at him for Jamie’s seizure - even thought it was not his fault, Jamie was mad at him for giving me the name of L'Hôpital des Anges in Paris, and Murtagh gave him the stink eye just because he was an outsider. On Saturday when Master Raymond left we were all sad to see him go.

After Lily got there Jamie and I drove him to craigh na dun. It was a sad parting, but Master Raymond pulled out a stone and told me if I had absolute need of him to knock twice and wait, he would help. I was surprised, but very glad and I told him so.

Master Raymond pulled out two large emeralds and did something that I unfortunately couldn’t see. He turned and smiled at me, “ Au revoir Madonna!” and he was gone.

Jamie pulled me away from the stones because I not only felt their pull, so did my clothing. I had a simple dress on and you could see the skirt pulling toward the rock. He got me away and we made our way down the hill and sat on the car to catch our breath. 

Jamie was looking at the rocks on the hill. “Are you sad you aren’t going back to your own time?” I asked him.

He made the scottich noise deep in his throat and I took it for no. “I am happy here with ye, my Sassenach. I ha’na seizure since the one. I do feel out of place still, and I ken it is because it is not my time. I will go back soon enough, but for now I have my Sassenach and my family. I am teaching a sword fighting lesson this eve, and making money for my family. For my bairns. Two of which my stubborn wife had in a cave and the other one that my wife stole from death. I am thanking God for my happiness.”

And then he kissed me, a long kiss. We got off the car onto the grass and didn’t get in the car for an hour later.


	23. Faith explained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers,
> 
> I had planned to write this much later but due to confusion I thought now might be a better time. 
> 
> This is short and the timeline is out of sequence, but I hope everyone understands why Faith had to be. Maybe she is spurred to do what she does because it affects a member of her family... wink wink
> 
> I hope she makes more sense now.

**Boston Massachusetts**

**Massachusetts General Hospital**

**Wednesday May 3rd 2007**

Faith put her glasses down after reading the report. She’d done it. Faith put her glasses back on and re-read the results of the study. Everything was exactly the same as when she read it the first time.

Faith picked up her phone to make a call but stopped. Maybe she would savor it for a few minutes before she made the calls. If her Mother were here she would be ecstatic. Faith took a minute to think about Claire; she was the reason Faith was a doctor, a researcher. She remembered those hands that would cradle her and her siblings and stitch up knees after we fell from trees. Faith shook her head to clear away the cobwebs.

Faith reached for the phone on her desk but there was a knock at her office door and she said, “Yes?”

The door opened and her first born son came through the door. “Late night Mom?” Murtagh asked as he walked in the office and kissed her cheek before sitting in the chair on the other side of her desk.

“Aye, but I got the report.” Faith said and waited for Murtagh to ask.

He looked at her for a minute and said nothing. “Well, goodness you’ve got me on the seat of my pants, what does it say?” he asked.

“I did it Murtagh. I know there are all sorts of terrible diseases and sicknesses in the world. But I have the cure for internal cancers.” Faith said slowly.

“Cure? Are you sure?” Murtagh asked.

“This is the third trial, this is the third time we have one hundred percent of the treatment group cured.” Faith said.

Murtagh jumped up and hugged his Mother. “Are we going?” He asked.

“Yep, we are going back.” Faith said and hugged her son again. 


	24. Frank comes to Inverness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!
> 
> I wrestled with this chapter a bit, but I really like it. As I am about a third of the way through this little adventure I hope you are loving it as much as I am!
> 
> As we all know Diana Gabaldon is the genius behind Outlander

Lallybroch, 1949

Jamie and Murtagh’s first sword fighting lesson was a huge success. Twenty students were invited and not only did all of them show up; four brought a friend who want ed to sign up too. Jamie and Murtagh were tired, but happy afterwards. Violet and I served sandwiches and lemonade to the students and the teachers. 

Sunday we went to church and to the Manse afterwards to have lunch with Violet and the Reverend. They were both, understandably so, full of questions on our eventful week . We had to leave early because we were getting a furniture delivery at Lallybroch this evening but I was trying to answer all their questions.

Violet and I got up to get dessert when I froze at the voice that came through the front door. Jamie saw my reaction and stood up and reached for his sword which wasn’t there and then he reached for his dirk that wasn’t there either. We’d made it a Sunday rule to leave weapons at home. 

Jamie looked to Murtagh and each took a door. I shook my head and looked at Jamie whispering, “It’s Frank.” Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! Why the hell did Frank come without planning it with the Reverend?

Jamie stayed where he was at the door. The Reverend got up and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry Claire, Jamie, I had no idea he was coming. I will get him to my study and close the door so you can leave.” I nodded at him and tried to smile.

“Why is everyone so quiet?” Faith said in a loud voice. Murtagh went to get her and told her they were playing a quiet game. Fergus, always picking up our moods so well, picked up Brianna and was bouncing her. I picked up Alex and Jamie had our bag with the children’s things.

The Reverend opened the door to see Frank two steps from opening it himself. “Hello, it appears you have guests, I apologize for coming without…” and here his voice faded out as he saw me. “Claire.” He whispered.

The Reverend started talking, trying to get Frank into his study but Frank might as well have been deaf. He just stood there and stared at me. Jamie and Murtagh were staring at Frank, likely due to his looks being so close to Jack Randell. We were stuck there for what felt like forever but was really only about thirty seconds. Then, like a guard, Jamie got on one side of me and Murtagh the other.

Fergus and Brianna were behind us and like a wave, once we passed Frank we moved to the side and Murtagh said, “Come along lad.” and Fergus and Brianna moved in front of us.

I knew Frank had a temper but I also knew this protective behavior was due to his resemblance to his ancestor.

I nodded to Frank and we pivoted to walk out when Frank put his hand on my shoulder. 

It took Jamie one second to get Frank's hand off my shoulder.

“I’ll thank ye to keep ye’re hand off my wife.” Jamie said in a controlled voice. “What do ye want of her?”

I saw Frank’s face grew red. “She is my wife.” He spat out.

“Was Frank. I was your wife, but I am no longer. Good day.” I said and turned to leave pulling on Jamie’s hand.

“Are those your bastard children?” Frank snarled.

“That’s two Frank.” Jamie said. “Get to three and we’ll see what happens.” Jamie looked down on Frank who was nowhere close to his size. 

Frank turned around and punched a hole through the Reverend’s wall. Murtagh had dropped my hand and I reached it out thinking to try to stop it, then the Reverend stood between Frank and I.

“It’s okay Claire, you go, I will take care of this.” The Reverend said and nodded at me. Jamie and I stood at the door and waited till everyone else was through it before we left. All three of the children were crying.

Frank was yelling, “Claire what’s his name? Whose children are the older ones? Where are you living? I can’t believe you left me for this low life!” Frank was very angry.

We got in the car and Jamie was driving. My hands were shaking but Jamie appeared to be calm; he was very focused on the road. Faith was on Murtagh’s lap in the back, Brianna was back with Fergus and Alex was in my arms. Eventually they all calmed down.

When we got home I took the children into the bedroom to try to get them to sleep for a nap. Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh said they were going to take care of things and I knew they would be locking doors and checking windows. They were securing the house; they were warriors and Frank’s resemblance to Jack Randall shook us all up. 

I got the children to sleep and I waited in the kitchen. Lily didn’t come today so I was making some tea to serve with the cake Violet had tossed in our bag.

Seeing Frank was traumatic, and I was worried at the time, but at Lallybroch with Jamie and Murtagh checking our doors and windows I felt safe. 

“Are ye worried Saaenach?” Jamie asked me. 

Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus came back into the room and I served them cake and tea, then added a nip of whiskey to Jamie and Murtagh’s cup.

“No, Frank has a temper but he is nothing like his ancestor.” I said

“He looks like his ancestor.” Fergus said. I patted his hand remembering what Fergus went through.

“Aye,” Murtagh said, “I even remembered that mad bastard's voice when I saw Frank.” Murtagh shook his head. 

“Frank doesn’t know where we live, and even if he found out you are securing Lallybroch. Everything will be fine. I was thinking of lying down for a little bit, anyone need anything?” I asked. They shook their heads no so I went to take a nap. 

As I walked down the hall Murtagh, Jamie and Fergus made a plan to repair a window and tighten a lock on the back door. 

Clothes in this time were immensely more practical but sometimes I missed my shift. Sleeping in my shift was always comfortable. I fell asleep and when I heard talking and the twins babbling. I looked up to see Faith sitting with the twins trying to teach them patti cake. I watched for a while; Faith was infinitely patient with her little brother and sister. I wondered if that had to do with Murtagh. Faith adored him and Murtagh is always extremely patient with her. I put my head back down on my pillow and I wondered if Frank would really leave us alone. I started work in one more week and I was sure he would be back to work by then.

While I was lying there Jamie tiptoed in thinking I was still asleep. 

“Ach ye wee lad and lasses, come on, let ye’re Momma sleep.” Jamie said. He’d picked up both the twins and Faith had a hold of his pant leg. He grabbed the bag with diapers and such in it and turned to walk out of the room. His eyes met mine and I smiled. He looked so happy with his children and there was so much warmth in his eyes.

“Come on wee Faith, let's go.” Murtagh said from the door and she went to him. Jamie winked at me and left the room. I got up and dressed but slowly. I think all the excitement with Master Raymond and the dang rocks had me exhausted. I paused and pondered something… I wondered what time he was really from… if he was from this time or close to it he might’ve been a Geologist or something similar and discovered the rocks he used.

I went to the kitchen to hear a ruckus coming from the front room. There was no furniture in that room, what was going on? I went to the front room.

I saw Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh trying to get the twins to walk. They were almost walking; they could take a few steps and fall over. Alex was doing better than Brianna but I think it was because she was so chubby. Faith was standing in the middle of it all yelling, “Let’s go bairns!” She was likely mimicking Murtagh.

I knew they just needed practice and I wasn’t going to miss anything so I went back to the kitchen and got a cup to go express milk from my breasts. None of my children were really nursing anymore and I kind of missed the bond. I didn’t make the choice to stop; life just got busy and they had a difficult time staying put long enough to nurse without falling asleep. My breasts didn’t want to give up, that was for sure.

I heard something large pull up and I knew it was the furniture truck. I was very excited to get highchairs and proper baby beds. They were also delivering bed frames and headboards, a toddler bed for Faith, a bicycle for Fergus and a little pink bike for Faith, and two adults bikes for Jamie and Murtagh that was a surprise. 

When I came out everyone was outside admiring the size of the truck and peering inside. I went to stand beside Jamie who was holding Faith. She was kissing him on his cheek.

“Thank ye Da, kiss for a new bed.” Faith said and kissed Jamie’s cheek.

“Thank ye Da, kiss for a new bed.” Faith said again and kissed Jamie’s cheek.

“Ok honey,” I took Faith from Jamie, “Da is going to have to sign the clipboard.” I said. I saw the delivery man trying to figure out if Murtagh or Jamie should sign. They heard me and went to Jamie. I’d made sure to put the order in his name only the day we shopped for our new furniture; it was common for things like this to be in the husband’s name. I didn’t want it to be in my name in case the delivery men said something. Jamie always made sure I was respected in his time and since we were in my time I wanted to return the favor. 

The high chairs were the first thing brought in and assembled. Jamie and Murtagh watched them closely as they put them together. I was so thankful to have highchairs as soon as they were assembled I put the twins in their chairs. I gave them lunch and I sat down with a sandwich. We had one for Faith that was for older children but she was so excited there was no sitting still right now.

Items continued to come in the house and get put together with Jamie and Murtagh watching them like hawks. Fergus had sat down to eat lunch with me and we talked about the sword fighting lesson from yesterday.

“Sassenach, bring Fergus and Faith.” I hear Jamie call from outside. I looked at the twins and laughed a little. Fergus picked up Alex and I had Brianna and we walked outside.

The delivery men walked out the bike for Fergus and the small pink bike for Faith. 

Fergus was just staring at it. “Lad, this is for ye.” Jamie said to Fergus. Jamie stood there and watched Fergus take the bike from the delivery man and walked up to Jamie to thank him. He probably didn’t know how to ride it. Jamie had rode one all around the store and decided Fergus had to have one.

Next was the surprise. The delivery men wheeled the large bicycle out and looked at Jamie who looked at me. “You had so much fun, I added to the order.” I said to him. Jamie took the bicycle and laughed when they wheeled one out for Murtagh who grumbled about it.

“It will be good for your health.” I said and the delivery men tried to hide their smiles.

They next wheeled out a small pink bicycle and Faith squealed with delight when Jamie told her the bike was hers. 

I took the twins inside after they started bringing in the headboards. I had a plan of course. Murtagh and Jamie could put the twins in the carriers and ride with Fergus and Faith. I didn’t want them at home with nothing to do while I was working. 

It was a fun evening getting all the new furniture and the boxes of new books we’d ordered. Violet had talked to me about putting Fergus in school and I needed to talk to Jamie about it still. 

So later that night when the children were asleep and Fergus was reading  _ A Tree Grows in Brooklyn  _ I decided to bring up the idea.

“What do you think about Fergus going to school?” I said to Jamie with an eye on Fergus. His eyes got big and he looked at Jamie.

“What kind of school?” Jamie asked.

“Here older children go to school to learn reading, writing, history, mathematics, and government. We could go to see the local school?” I said. Fergus was nodding his head up and down.

Jamie looked at him. “I want ye to be educated, but education is a privilege and if ye go, ye must treat it as such.” Jamie said.

“Of course Milord, I would be very happy to go to school.” Fergus said.

“And ye must remember to call us ye’re Ma and Da.” Jamie said and smiled.

“Yes, Da. Uh, do ye think me being french might be an issue?” Fergus asked.

Jamie looked at me. “I’m sure it will be questioned, but if you say you lived in France most of your life, that should explain it.” I said. It was the truth after all.

Jamie and I were going to look at the school the next day and if we liked it we’d try to get Fergus back after that.

Finally we all went to bed. I didn’t know it then but Murtagh took the first watch keeping an eye out for Frank.

Faith slept in her new bed in Murtagh’s room. She’d apologized to ‘Muta’ because he wouldn’t fit in her new bed so he had to sleep on his bed all alone.

“Sassenach, I like the beds for the bairns. I dinna have to wait until they’re asleep to do this.” Jamie whispered as he kissed my neck. We were laying in bed and momentarily I wondered if they were asleep but knowing they were safe in the baby beds helped take my mind off them. Jamie mistook my silence and got up to check on the twins. He nodded at me to indicate they were both asleep. When he got back in bed I made sure he understood exactly what I wanted.

Jamie and I made love that night. It was sweet and slow and felt so natural I cried at the end because it was over. He held me tight against him and we fell asleep that way. I woke some hours later to use the loo and he was awake when I returned. I kissed him, long and hard so he was gasping for breath. He entered me fast and hard; just what I wanted. This time it was over in minutes and we both fell asleep shortly after.

The next day we did go look at the school. It looked great but unfortunately they thought Fergus might have problems keeping up because we told them his schooling was ‘intermittent’ which was to say, taught at home. They did enroll him as an at home student and we left with Jamie carrying an armload of books and work for Fergus to do. They expected everything to be finished in a week and the teachers wanted to meet him then. 

Fergus was disappointed not to be going to school but he was happy doing the school work. 

The rest of the week passed quietly. I took Jamie and Murtagh out driving a lot. They kept trying to get the twins walking. Fergus, Faith and Murtagh learned to ride a bike and I was glad to see how much Murtagh enjoyed it. He actually laughed. Laughed. Murtagh. More than once.

Frank didn’t make an appearance. I called Violet and was told Frank was staying at the manse through the weekend so lunch was off. Wednesday night I held the stones open for eight minutes to talk to Jenny and Ian. They kept us up to date on the kids and the farm. On Sunday I opened it again and we passed letters and I sent about thirty buttons. I didn’t understand the fascination, but I had felt the same about penicillin. 

Lallybroch 1949

November 21, Monday 

I woke up a little past five am panicky because I dreamt I slept through the alarm and when I got to work Jenny was my boss. In the dream my boss Jenny said, “Love forces a person to choose.” 

I lay in bed and thought about that for a long while. Finally Jamie sat up, kissed me and told me it was time to get up. It didn’t matter what time he was in, Jamie had a good sense of time. I was frequently lost without a clock.

We s nuck out of the bedroom; we’d put everything we’d need to get dressed in an empty room. An empty cold room. We dressed quickly and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Murtagh was already there and had gotten some water started for tea and coffee. 

“Good morning Murtagh.” I said to him. He looked at me and was going to reply but he just kept looking at me. 

“What?” I looked down at my uniform and checked for spots.

“Lass, that is the longest dress ye’ve worn since we’ve been here. It looks verre nice.” He said and put bread in the toaster. 

I looked at Jamie who was obviously laughing but trying to look like he was checking out the window.

“This is a standard nurses uniform.” I said and looked at the plain dress with the long white apron that tied at the back. I looked at both of them and neither would meet my eyes.

“Oh enough” I said and went to the bathroom to put my headpiece on. I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like it either. They broke out in full laughter when I came back in with the headpiece on. I ignored it, but I was smiling. It was funny. 

After I ate my breakfast I got my lunch and Jamie and I got ready to leave.

I went to Murtagh and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me seriously. “We’ll be fine, and your bairns will be fine too.” Murtagh said.

“Thank you.” I said to him and kissed his cheek.

Jamie and I left. The plan was for Jamie to drive me to work then pick up the grocery order I’d called in Friday and drive back home. 

“Sassenach.” Jamie said to bring me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?” I said.

“What are ye nervous about?” He asked me.

“Nothing.” I said and realized I just lied. “Everything.” I said and knew that to be the truth. “I know everything will be fine, I know you will keep our family safe, but I’ve never been away from the children this long.” I said and I looked out the window.

“And Murtagh made me realize I do not like my uniform.” I said.

Jamie laughed a little and held my hand, “Sassenach, if ye’ve changed ye’re mind it’s okay.” He said and squeezed my hand a little.

I thought for a minute. “No, I haven’t changed my mind, I want to work. Nursing will keep my skills sharp for when we go back. I can learn of any new things that come up, things that might help our family.” I said and thought of my other reason, “I know you will be making enough money to support us with your lessons and we won't really need more income but we could save the money I make and travel! I would love to take you and Murtagh and Fergus through France and Italy.” I finished and wandered off mentally.

Jamie parked in one of the hospital parking places; he was really very good at driving. Especially when he wasn’t calling it a confounded machine. 

He turned to me and held both my hands. “That sounds wonderful. But if we dinna go, our life is wonderful now. Work or don’t work, it is ye’re choice.” He leaned towards me and we kissed. He got out of the auto and came to my side to open my door. I got out and he spanked my bottom lightly.

“Go do ye’re healing Claire Fraser.” Jamie said and kissed me again. He handed me my lunch and I went to work.

I turned at the door and he was still standing by the car so I waved and smiled at him, then I went to work.

Jamie stood by the car waving until he didn’t see her anymore. He smiled and shook his head, thinking about women.  _ Claire was just missing her bairns,  _ he thought. He got back in the car and started on his way to pick up the grocery order. 

What Jamie nor Claire saw was Frank. He was sitting four rows over and he spilled his coffee when he saw Claire. He knew she would work; she loved helping people. He had talked her into botany to satisfy her brain and it had for a while. He knew she would make it back to nursing and he was right. 

Frank ducked low in his seat and watched the exchange. As soon as Jamie started their car back up and set off on his way to the grocery store, Frank was right behind him.


	25. A Wedding is Planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!
> 
> I thought to get this chapter out as soon as possible 👩💻🤔🤔
> 
> Happy reading!  
>  And let's thank Diana Gabaldon for creating Outlander!

Lallybroch 1949

November 21, Monday 

Frank had followed Jamie to the grocery store and parked several cars away so he didn’t get discovered.

“Getting groceries is a woman's work.” Frank said to himself and smirked. He watched Jamie put the bags in the car and wondered how many people they fed. He thought back to the night at the manse...three adults and four children but two were infants. Briefly Frank wondered if the older two children were the other man’s, but the red hair on the girl...

From the grocery store Jamie walked to the small bank. Frank thought about going in to try and see what he was doing but didn’t because the likelihood of being spotted was too high. Jamie came out of the bank smiling and Frank gritted his teeth. The little scene in the parking lot where Jamie smacked Claire’s bum kept replaying in Frank's mind. Frank never expected to find her with another man. She was a divorced woman with two children! What man would want her?

Jamie drove away and Frank pulled in behind him. Frank let some distance accumulate between them because they were the only two cars driving out of town. After some distance Jamie pulled over and Frank had to drive past him or it would look suspicious. Frank wasn’t too worried because he knew he could find the car. Frank looked in his rearview mirror and saw Jamie picking wildflowers and Frank punched his own leg.

Jamie picked a good bunch of wildflowers and drove the rest of the way home. He’d thought maybe they had a visitor following him home but the auto had driven by so Jamie figured it was a neighbor he hadn’t met yet. 

“Da!” Faith ran to Jamie as soon as he got through the door.

“Good morning my Faith, how are ye?” Jamie said, picking up his daughter.

“I’m fine, thank ye.” She said in her toddler accent of not quite pronouncing everything. Faith hugged his neck then looked at him. “But Muta is having a bad morning.” She said and kissed his cheek. Jamie hugged her again and sat her down.

“Let’s go find Muta.” Jamie said and Faith led him to the bedroom where the twins were awake and running around. They apparently thought it was hilarious that they were naked. They were both running around Murtagh.

Jamie tried to hide his smile. “Murtagh, I’m back.. I’ll get the bairns if ye get the food from the car.” Jamie said.

“Done.” Murtagh said and immediately got up. On the way out the door Murtagh stopped and looked at Jamie. “Did Claire get off to work alright?” He asked.

“She is fine, just missing her bairns.” Jamie said and went in to dress the twins.

The day passed quietly. Violet called and (after having to call three times to get someone to answer the phone) Murtagh answered. They made polite conversation and Jamie watched Murtagh try to flirt over the phone. Violet told Murtagh that Frank left the day before and they would like to come over and bring dinner. Murtagh graciously accepted and let Lily know she could go home early if she wanted. 

Lily was happy to go home early; she had been chasing after the children a lot more than she usually did. Violet and the Vicar got there just as Jamie was leaving to go pick up Claire. 

“Welcome, thank ye for coming.” Jamie said to Violet and the Reverend. He showed them into the kitchen and dining room area. “Please make yourself at home, but I need to leave to get Claire.” He said and they nodded.

He made a mental note to ask Claire about shopping for a sitting bench, like the one that was in the front room at the manse.

Roger and Fergus already found each other and Fergus wanted to show off his bike so the Vicar and the boys went outside while Jamie left to pick up Claire.

Frank had fallen asleep on his watch under all the blankets he’d brought with him . He woke up when the lights on the car lit up and moved. It was dark early in November. Frank saw the car leave and knew there was only one man and the children left. In his sleep deprived state he forgot to check for another car.

Frank sat there for a while trying to come up with a plan. How could he get Claire back? Frank rubbed his face and wondered again how she was married to another man?! Claire was a divorced woman! He just wanted a chance to speak to her without the other men present. If he could just talk to her maybe he could talk her into coming back to him.

The children. They had to be it. Claire is a mother now. If Frank could get the children away from the house maybe Claire would go with him… It would prove he was more clever than the man left in charge.

Frank got out of the automobile. He thought about driving closer to the house, but didn’t want to start the engine. He stretched and slowly walked to the house. He stopped every few feet and hid behind a bush just in case. 

Frank tiptoed around to the back door and heard children. He peeked in a window and saw them almost by the door; this was going to be too easy! He eased the window up higher and climbed on the wide sill. Frank came through the open window and slipped in right behind the older girl. Frank pulled the tape out of his pocket, ripped off a generous portion and quickly covered the mouth of the tall girl. He put his hand over the mouth of the baby. He picked them both up and slipped out the door and ran to his car.

~

“Oh, thank goodness you are on time, my feet are killing me.” I said as I opened the hospital door and took two steps into Jamie’s arms. I laughed as Jamie carried me to the auto. 

“Your chariot Madame.” Jamie said, imitating a French accent.

“Home driver, I want to see my children!” I said. We talked about my work all the way home and Jamie listened and asked all the right questions. The November air was cold but it was warm under the car blanket snuggled next to Jamie. 

We made it home and jumped out of the car as we saw Frank in the dooryard holding a knife to Alex. The Vicar was there and Violet, Fergus and Roger.

Jamie got out and took my hand. “Frank, what are ye doin here?” Jamie yelled. He saw the Reverend and Violet, where were his other two children? Where was Murtagh?

Frank backed up a little bit to see Jamie and I. “Claire, leave with me now and I will give you back the children! I have two more. Leave with me.”

I looked at him in shock. This man that I thought I loved for years was holding a knife to my child! My mind quickly went to several scenes of our life together and not one of them suggested he might be in the position he was now. My face heated quickly and my hands became fists. I whispered to Jamie who was holding on to me. “Jamie, let me go, I’m going to kill him before he kills Alex.”

“Frank, give me my son! She dinna love ye, she loves me, let us be!” Jamie said to Frank. Jamie looked to the Reverend and made a height motion for Faith and Brianna and the Reverend shrugged his shoulders.

“Frank, we talked about this all week, remember? Let the baby go.” The Reverend said.

“Not until I get Claire!” Frank yelled and a small spot of blood appeared on Alex. I saw it and inched forward. No one was going to hurt my child. “She is supposed to be ready to take me back” Frank said angrily as I inched forward. 

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Jamie saw Murtagh. He was crouched down, but trying to run through the tall grass across the street. Jamie saw Faith and Brianna in his arms.

Jamie nodded at Fergus. Fergus raised an eyebrow and raised a finger. Jamie nodded and so did Fergus. I had locked eyes and Frank who was spewing garbage about how he loved me and I missed the exchange between Jamie and Fergus. I inched forward a little more. Alex was crying but he looked okay physically.

Jamie pushed me behind him whispering something in Gaelic. In an instant Fergus had distracted Frank and caused him to raise the knife hand then Jamie rushed to Frank and got his son right before shoving Frank to the ground. Frank got up and held the knife like he was going to use it and Jamie punched him hard in the face. Frank passed out.

I got a knife from the car and I was going to kill Frank.

“Claire!” Jamie said. “Sassenach stop!” I heard him but I kept moving, no one was going to hurt my child. Ever. Jamie grabbed the knife from me and put Alex in my arms as he went to help Murtagh and I went into nurse mode looking at Alex and checking his cuts.

Frank stirred and Jamie got to him fast. ‘Ye’ll never call my children bastards ever again.” Jamie said and shook Frank. He started to apologize but Jamie punched him and he passed out again. 

Faith and Brianna were very cold and upset but okay, Alex had three cuts on him from the knife but nothing that wouldn’t heal. The children and I sat inside the front door on the floor. The fire was built up and we warmed ourselves. Murtagh, Jamie, Fergus, Violet and the Vicar waited outside for the police they’d called when Murtagh found Frank with Alex and a knife.

I occasionally stood up to be sure Frank hadn’t gotten away.  _ Put a knife to my son’s throat, lucky I didn’t gut you . _

I didn’t get to gut him. The authorities came and put Frank in handcuffs. They looked at Frank’s face and looked at Jamie but didn’t say anything. The officers took statements from everyone and examined Alex, Brianna and Faith. Faith gave the officer an earful about the ‘bad man’ and wasn’t shy at all. They took photographs of the cuts around Alex’s neck, and of Faith’s and Brianna’s face where we had to pull tape off.

They took Frank into custody and left. Everyone was in the house and it was very quiet. 

“He took our children Jamie. Why is he alive?” I asked quietly.

“Claire, you can’t mean-” The Reverend started but Jamie intervened.

“Sassenach, I did it like ye told me things are here, remember? Ye told Murtagh and I many times to not be violent here, that we would end up in jail.” Jamie said. 

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. “I know, but I am so angry.” I said.

Murtagh had carried in a stick and handed it to me, then knelt before me. “Take ye’re anger out on me lass, it was my fault. I was supposed to be watching the bairns but my mind was occupied elsewhere.” He paused here and looked at Violet. “I’m sorry lass. I’ll take my punishment.” Murtagh finished.

I looked at him and looked at the stick in my hand. I jumped back and dropped the stick in horror. I heard Violet sigh with relief. “Murtagh, don’t be ridiculous! It is not your fault.” I said but I caught Jamie’s look. I knew that look. A punishment had to be rendered in order to feel like the debt was paid. Sometimes I absolutely knew men from the seventeen hundreds were completely strange.

“Murtagh, It could’ve happened to Jamie or me.” I paused here because that sunk in. I grew less angry, but more afraid. I will think about it and get back to you.” I said and patted Murtagh’s shoulder.

Violet and I walked out together and I explained the need for some sort of punishment so she would understand and she tried to talk me out of it. I knew she was really starting to care for Murtagh.

I heard the end of the conversation between Jamie and the Vicar. He was pleading with Jamie to help me see that justice would be done. I wasn’t that angry anymore; my children were safe and Murtagh had pulled what anger I had left out of me. I didn’t say anything though.

Jamie got the children's beds and our bed and moved them all together. He had Murtagh and Fergus pull their beds in our room again too. It was a night for us to stay together. 

In the morning it was just Jamie and I in the room. I kissed my husband and said, “Good morning.”

“Mmm, good morning.” he said and pulled me tighter. 

“I think I am going to ask Murtagh to consider marrying Violet.” I said and felt Jamie jerk out of his stretch.

“What?” He asked me.

“I’m going to ask Murtagh to-” I said.

“Aye, I heard ye, why?” Jamie asked.

I got up on an elbow so I could look at Jamie. “Because Murtagh needs a woman, and Violet is the only one who will understand when he disappears in a few years.” I said. I knew she was older than he was, but I didn’t think that would really matter.

“So ye are going to ask Murtagh, to make a woman his wife, then leave her in 4 years?” Jamie said.

“No, I’m going to ask him to think about it. I think.” I said and my thoughts wandered off. I still hadn’t thought of the ‘punishment’ and would need to ask Jamie about that. Later. Jamie's mind had wandered and he was thinking about marital roles. Our marital roles in fact.

Much later Jamie and I came out of the bedroom together and saw Murtagh and Violet in the kitchen with the twins and Faith in the highchairs and Fergus and Roger looking over a toy plane on the table.

We exchanged pleasantries and then Murtagh and Violet went for a walk. Jamie and I talked about buying more furniture.

When Murtagh came back I pulled him aside. “Murtagh, there is no punishment because you did nothing wrong.” I looked at him and some seconds passed.

“Then I will just have to be in ye’r service lass.” Murtagh said, then he hugged me.

~~~~~

A few days later we had a small birthday party for the twins. Violet and the Vicar came with ice cream and I made a cake. Jamie and I had new toys for them and we had a wonderful dinner.

I only worked one day this week because of the twin’s birthday but after that I was set to work two days a week. The week passed quietly but the officers kept us up to date with news of Frank in case we didn’t read the papers, which we did whenever we went to town. 

That Saturday Violet picked Murtagh up and they were gone all day. Jamie and I and the children were all in the front room on the two new couches.

Murtagh and Violet came in and didn’t say anything for a few seconds, then-

“Violet and I are to be marritt.” Murtagh said and put an arm around Violet.

“Congratulations!” I said and got up to hug them both. Jamie shook Murtagh’s hand and kissed Violet’s cheek. There was a lot of talking about plans and time frames, and she wanted to live at Lallybroch after they were married to which Jamie and I agreed to right away.

“I still have my house, we will need to go there sometimes. Maybe on weekends.” Violet said with a sly look at Murtagh and I almost laughed. Murtagh agreed without catching any of it.

Violet and I went to the kitchen to get a snack and as soon as we were out of earshot I asked, “Well, how did he ask? Was it romantic?”

“I asked.” She said and smiled at me. I was very surprised. She sighed and said, “I knew he wouldn’t because ye’re family is leaving. Losing my husband taught me to seize whatever life I can. Why shouldn’t we marry because he is leaving in four years? That would be four years of happiness I might be giving up.” She beamed at me and I hugged her.

They were to be married in January.

~~~   
Somehow I managed to go to work the following week. Murtagh was eager to prove himself and I had to take mercy on him. After the first day it got easier.

December turned into Christmas and we got snowed in for almost two weeks. I managed to send fruit through the rock for Jenny and Ian. They were amazed at how pretty the fruit was, and wee Jamie was very fond of oranges. It felt good to send them things I knew would be beneficial. 

Christmas was cozy, warm, and full of family. Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus were amazed at the celebrations. Fergus got more books and some toys. He was so grateful he cried when he hugged Jamie.

Jamie and Murtagh were still giving lessons when it was warm enough, which was still very cold. They’d cut wood for days and have roaring fires outside and shelters set up. 

January came and preparations for Murtagh and Violet to be married kept us very busy. Jamie and I had talked and except for a little pocket money Murtagh hadn’t kept any money. We agreed on a good sum and took it out of the bank.

“Murtagh,” Jamie said coming into the living room. Murtagh was reading the newspaper and watching Faith play with dolls on the couch next to him.

“Aye” Murtagh said, putting the paper down and standing up.

“Here is your share of money from the lessons.” Jamie said and tried to hand him an envelope.

“No,” Murtagh said and shook his head, “No, what we earned is for food and the house.” he said.

“A portion went to the house account, this is ye’re portion, it belongs to you.” Jamie said and Murtagh took it.

“Thank ye.” Murtagh said and nodded. “Claire” He called while Jamie looked on.

“Yes?” I said appearing in the living room.

“Can ye go wit’ me to buy a ring?” Murtagh asked me with red cheeks. 

I looked at Jamie who smiled and nodded. “Let me get my coat Murtagh, will you please start the car?” I said and left the room smiling too.

Murtagh picked his coat up by the door and the auto keys on the hook and winked at Jamie before turning to stroll out the door.


	26. An announcement from Jamie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you will like this chapter! I am excited to put it out!

Lallybroch January 1950

Murtagh and I went into town. I knew Frank was getting sentenced soon, so when we bought the paper I immediately put it in my bag. I didn’t want the news to spoil our ring hunt.

When we went into the tiny jewelry store Murtagh stopped. I had to pull him to keep walking. I got him to one of the cases and asked him if he had something in mind.

“Aye.” He said.

“Can you please let me know what it is?” I said, mustering my patience.

“It’s special Claire.” He said and touched a pair of earrings.

“May I help you?” The clerk asked.

“Aye, I need a ring for me’ bride.” Murtagh said.

“We have a good selection of wedding sets-” The clerk started to explain.

“No, it has to be special.” Murtagh said and rummaged through his sporran. He pulled out a very old piece of paper with a rough design on it and handed it to the clerk.

The clerk took it gingerly and turned it around. “Sir, how old is this paper? Looks to be…” The clerk trailed off, turned the paper around and set it down.

“Can ye make it?” Murtagh asked.

The clerk looked at him and nodded. He got a piece of paper and sketched the design. He asked Murtagh a few questions about the setting and Murtagh pulled out a rock. It was old and had been smoothed by years in a person’s hand.

“Can ye get this out?” Murtagh said, showing him the stone. There was what appeared to be a small diamond in the rock. I looked at it and looked at Murtagh.

The jewelry clerk was almost as surprised as I was. He had us wait and went to get the owner.

“I’ll explain it later lass, so hold yer questions.” Murtagh whispered to me and I said nothing. 

The owner came out and introduced himself to us.

“Certainly Sir, I can get the stone out and add it to the ring. Can you wait for me to calculate the price?” The gentleman asked.

“Aye.” Murtagh said.

Murtagh pulled me over to look at something. “If the price is reasonable, pull on my finger, if no squeeze my hand.” Murtagh whispered to me.

The price was given and I pulled one of his fingers because I thought it was very reasonable. Murtagh also bought a necklace and earrings for Violet. We completed our transaction and got the receipts. We had to come back in a week to pick up the ring. 

We left the store and Murtagh was smiling. “Thank ye lass! I would no be doing that by myself.” He said and patted my back. He gave me the car keys, “You drive, I will tell you how I came by the rock.” Murtagh said, still smiling.

I drove home and Murtagh told me how he won the stone from Ahote. They’d been gambling and Ahote bet the rock and when Murtagh won it Ahote told him the stone should be given in love or gambled away.

“Did he say anything else? That sounds odd.” I said.

“He said it was given to him by a man who was rejected by his choice for a wife. The man was a miner and found the stone in a foreign country. The man told him it should be given in love because that is why he found it.” Murtagh said and looked out at the countryside.

I thought about how sad that was; a man found the stone working in a different country. I had a whole story in my mind of how he brought it home to give it to his love, who he wanted to marry, and then he got rejected. No wonder the rock had been smoothed.

We got home and Jamie had the children down for a nap. He’d built up the fire in the front room and he had a pot hanging there cooking.

“I did no want to try the stove.” He said looking at me apologetically.

“But, we’ve been through that, you know how to use it.” I said.

“Aye, but I didna want to.” Jamie said and smiled at me.

Murtagh showed Jamie the necklace and earrings he bought for Violet and Jamie made appropriate sounds of approval.

“I’m going to put these away and then get Vi on the tel.” Murtagh said.

I smiled and nodded. For some reason Murtagh refused to say telly for telephone. It was always tel. He also called Violet Vi. In a way, it fit.

I took my coat off and hung it on the hook by the door along with my bag. I took the paper out and gave it to Jamie, then we both curled up on the couch. I couldn’t figure out if Jamie or the stew smelled better.

Frank was sentenced to five years in jail. Jamie read the story and when I heard it I didn’t outwardly react. My brain was shouting ‘five years’ over and over again.

“Sassenach, are ye alright?” Jamie asked.

I took a deep breath because I felt like all my air had left me. “Yes, I suppose.” I said and curled closer to Jamie. “Five years for holding a knife to our son’s throat doesn’t seem enough does it?” I asked and stared into the fire.

“This is ye’r time, wrong is punished in a different way here.” Jamie paused. “Look at it like this; by the time he is out we will be gone to get prepared for whatever we need to prepare for. Frank is out of our lives, and he is still alive.” Jamie said.

“Does he deserve to be out in five years?” I asked and stared at the fire for a while. “Does he deserve to be alive.” I said. It sat on the air like bad food. “Maybe I don’t belong to this time anymore, maybe your time is my time because we are one.” I said and closed my eyes. 

When I next woke up Faith, Brianna and Alex were crawling on me, laughing and squealing and Jamie was standing next to the couch smiling at me.

Murtagh, Fergus, Jamie, the children and I ate Jamie’s stew in the living room on the floor out of wood bowls with wood spoons. Jamie and Murtagh had carved the bowls and spoons for me for Christmas because I said I missed wood bowls. I forgot about Frank and talked to my family and joked around with my family. Fergus brought toys for the children to play with when they finished eating and we sat on the floor for the rest of the evening and told stories and laughed. It was balm for my soul.

Jamie and I carried the children to bed and they went easily. We’d finally made an official nursery room for the children. The door was kept open but I’d bought a child safety gate so they couldn’t get out of the room and there was nothing in the room to hurt them. The windows were nailed shut.

After the children were in bed Jamie and I tiptoed out of the room and went next door to our room. Jamie closed the door, turned around and kissed me. He backed me up to the bed and started to remove my clothing. I helped him to shed his own quickly. He was inside me before we were on the bed and we both sighed with relief. We just breathed for a moment; it was recognition of the feeling of right. I took a deep breath and rolled Jamie so I managed to end up on top. I went nice and slow until he flipped me and we both ran to our release. We made love two more times that night and in the morning Jamie got up with the children; invigorated and happy. I slept three more hours.

I woke up and heard Lily telling Murtagh to get out of the kitchen. I sat up, then flopped back down on Jamie’s pillow so I could smell it. I needed to ask Jamie about more children. We made love so often I was likely to get pregnant if we didn’t do something. I wasn’t opposed to more children but I recalled how much Jenny had helped me in the first months after the twins and I didn’t see how I could do it alone. 

Thinking about it made me cross. I was just supposed to do it all alone according to Jamie? Raise the three we have, grow another one and add it to the bunch? I threw my shoe across the room.

Jamie walked in and stood at the door for a moment looking at me.

“What has got ye fired up so quickly, Sassenach?” he asked me.

Without saying good morning or anything I launched at him verbally. “What if I get pregnant? How can I have another child, and what if it is twins again? You weren’t there during the day and Jenny helped me a lot, I mean a lot. Now you want me to do this all by myself?”I said in a single breath.

Jamie waited a moment to be sure I was finished. ‘Why don’t you finish getting dressed, I will get some food and we can take a drive.” He said very gently.

“Fine.” I said. Why was I angry? 

He left and I finished getting dressed. When I came out Violet was there and I was mortified because I knew she’d heard me. She was nice though and promised they would help Lily watch the children, which I was grateful for and told her so. Faith wanted to stay with her Muta anyway.

We got in the car and drove for a bit to the little cabin Jamie, Murtagh and Fergus had been building. There was a hearth and firewood and Jamie had a fire going in no time. We hadn’t spoken to each other.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help ye with the twins during the day.” Jamie said quietly.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I was angry. I was thinking that we have to decide if we want more children, and I got really nervous thinking about having an infant without Jenny.” I said. The anger was gone; I think I was just nervous.

We were sitting on the wood floor in front of the fireplace watching the flames. Jamie sat behind me and gathered me in close to him with his long muscular limbs and I went willingly. 

“Sassenach.” Jamie said softly.

“Mmm” I said. I was very comfortable surrounded by Jamie.

“Do ye remember when ye last had ye’r courses?” He asked even softer.

“Sure, it was the first week of December, we were out buying a toy for…” My voice faded as I realized it was the last week of January. I didn’t say anything for a while; I was thinking of December. Jamie and I had made love almost every time we were alone. It had been like, all the anxiety of changing time and then Frank, it had all left and we realized we needed each other as much as we needed air. I smiled thinking about December.

Jamie had a weird turn to his neck; he was trying to watch me so I turned around to face my husband.

“I’m pregnant?” I asked Jamie. Not realizing how odd it was to ask one’s husband this question.

“Aye.” He said with a nervous smile.

I started crying and Jamie held me. “No, it’s okay, I’m happy!” I said, laughing a bit.

“Are ye sure? I will be there this time, all day long.” Jamie said.

“I will need you!” I said. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was nervous; I held on tightly to Jamie. Knowing it was our December love that made a baby warmed my heart.


	27. Ginger tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,
> 
> Thank you so much! You are wonderful!
> 
> So is Diana Gabaldon, who actual wrote the fantastic story we all love!

**Sunday February 12th 1950**

Violet and Murtagh were married by a Catholic priest. It had been a sticking point in their plans but Violet agreed to it, mostly because the Reverend had married them privately afterwards. After the wedding s there was a gathering at the manse that I was sure all of Inverness had shown up to. 

Fergus and Roger were in the yard playing and getting their nice outfits dirty. Jamie was downstairs eating and trying to keep an eye on the twins. Violet and I were in the bedroom she was using to change and get nervous.

“What if I’m just too old Claire?” Violet said looking at her face in the mirror.

“If you were too old we wouldn’t be here. Do you love him?” I asked.

“Aye, of course I love him, that’s not the question.” Violet said. “I've restricted my food since January so I could maybe be firmer.” She said and turned, looking at herself.

Before I could express my concern the door opened.

“Why, why did ye do that my lass?” Murtagh said in a softer voice than I’d ever heard. He pointed to the door, “I was waiting for ye and I heard everything.” He was carrying Faith but he put her on the bed and she laughed.

“I wanted to look better for ye.” Violet said.

“Ye looked better before, I dinna like a tiny lass. I love ye as ye are Vi, don’t do that again, aye?” Murtagh said. I heard a soft aye in response and I picked Faith up and slipped out the door. I went downstairs and found my highlander.

“They are about to leave, did you get food packed up?” I asked.

“Aye.” He said and nodded to two large bags. I almost laughed but didn’t. I’m always ravenous after lovemaking so I kept quiet. Faith went to play with two other little girls she saw.

They came down the stairs together, hand in hand, to loud cheering. Murtagh looked at Jamie who looked at the bags of food and Murtagh nodded. Murtagh carried everything to the car then came back in to wait for Violet who was talking to some people. 

After a few minutes Murtagh grew impatient and picked Violet up and made for the door to gales of laughter and good wishes.

Jamie and I waited for the crowds to disperse and we started cleaning like we promised Violet and Murtagh. 

Later that night we were home and having a late night snack after our own lovemaking and waiting for the ‘communication hour’ as I have come to call it.

“I am happy ye are pregnant. I am happy we are to have five children.” Jamie said and fed me a bite of cheese.

“So am I.” I said and leaned in for a kiss. “Where are we going to put those five children when we go back? I know Fergus would be fine with wee Jamie, but Faith, the twins, and a new baby. It’s a lot of people in Lallybroch.” I said and gave Jamie a bite of bread.

“Aye, ye’re right and I’ve been thinking about it.” Jamie said and fed me a grape.

I swallowed the grape and asked, “Did you come up with any ideas?”

“Maybe. I thought about building a cabin on the land like Murtagh wanted for his honeymoon, but I dinna like the idea of you alone if I have to hide during the day again. What if we send Jenny and Ian money to build on to Lallybroch?” Jamie said and drew a little plan on a piece of paper. 

I was eager to talk to Jenny. We’d decided to not tell anyone about the new baby until after the wedding so we didn’t take any attention that rightly belonged to Murtagh and Violet. But we’d agreed to tell Jenny tonight and I was eager.

When it was time I got the rock and Jamie put it hand through to hold his sister’s hand. This was something we’d talked about and while it was difficult for me I knew it would be a magical experience for Jamie.

“Brother!” Jenny said and took his hand. She put his hand on her cheek and he felt the tear.

“Sister! How do ye fair?” Jamie said; a tear on his own cheek.

“We’re alright, how do ye’ fair? How are the bairns?” Janny asked.

“They’re fine Jenny, as a matter of fact there is going to be another one.” I said. I looked at Jamie and he was almost bursting with pride.

Congratulations were passed and we talked about Murtagh’s wedding and the seven minute mark came. I looked at Jamie, then looked at the clock we kept near to remind us of the eight minutes I could hold this connection open. 

“Ian, Jenny, what do ye think about adding two rooms on Lallybroch? One room right on top of the other…” Jamie said and went on to explain where he thought it would work. Jenny and Ian were very amenable to the idea. They refused any more money though, they said they had plenty to build the addition and would start on it in the spring.

I’d held the rock for nine and a half minutes by the time we said our goodbyes and sweat was pouring down my face. After Jamie’s hand was back on this side of the rock and goodbyes were said I released the connection and fell back on the floor. 

“Sassenach!” Jamie yelled and picked me up. I only heard him as a whisper. He took me into the shower, turned the cold water on and we sat down in the tub until I came back around. 

“We can’t go past nine minutes Jamie, I’m sorry but it is too hard to hold it.” I said, shaking with the cold. 

“Nay, I’m sorry Claire, it is my fault. I was so surprised to hold my sister’s hand and touch her face.” He said and shook his head. 

There was a knock at the door. It was Fergus and he looked at us oddly as we passed him in towels and wet clothes. 

“Didna say anything.” Jamie said.

“Who, moi? Never Da.” Fergus said with a little smile. Sometimes I wondered if he was older than I thought but then I remembered he was raised in a brothel until he met us. He was definitely older than I thought.

Sunday February 12th 1950 - Some hours earlier 

Violet walked into the little cabin and remembered she loved Murtagh. She’d agreed to stay two nights here because this and being married Catholic was the only thing he’s asked for. 

Violet put her small suitcase on the bed and turned to Murtagh.

“Cozy, isn’t it?” She said and nervously wrung her hands.

Murtagh took each of her hands in his and kissed her. “Aye, I ken it’s small. I wanted some time with ye, just ye, and we shut the world out.” Murtagh said then he kissed each of her hands and released them. Violet’s breath caught in her throat.

Murtagh was staring into her eyes and he bent his head to hers and paused; asking permission, asking for access. Violet leaned into him and had the kiss of her life. Their kisses had been chaste compared to this kiss. Murtagh leaned back, gasping for air. Violet sat on the bed.

“I…” Murtagh said and trailed off staring into Violet’s eyes.

“Mmm mm” Violet made that Scottish noise of agreement.

“Aye.” Murtagh said. He shook his head a bit and stepped back. “I’ll make us a fire.” He said. Violet nodded but she hadn’t noticed it wasn’t already lit.

Murtagh lit the fire and laid the little table with some food from the reception. He looked at Violet who still had pink cheeks.

“Why don’t we eat?” Murtagh said and winked at his new bride.

Violet smiled and came to the table. They both ate heartily, and spoke about the wedding. After they ate, Murtagh insisted on cleaning up. They had water; there was a large container full of water on the roof and he was turned on and off by opening the nozzle. Murtagh washed the dishes. He put the rest of the food away in the makeshift cooler. 

Violet was still sitting at the table. Murtagh went to her, kneeled in front of her and kissed her soundly. His hands went down her arms and she felt his callouses. Murtagh’s hands rested on Violet’s knees.

“May I take ye to bed mo luaidh?” Murtagh asked.

“Yes, please.” Violet said in a strong firm voice.

Murtagh picked up his wife and took her to bed. 

Sunrise Monday February 13th 1950

Jamie was at the agreed upon place at sunrise. Murtagh had wanted to meet to be sure everything was fine. An hour passed and Murtagh hadn’t shown. Jamie had killed three rabbits but had not seen Murtagh.

Jamie walked to the cabin. He just wanted to assure himself everything was fine, then he would go home. When he was a quarter mile away he saw the cabin and Murtagh was leaving it. Violet, wrapped in Murtagh’s plaid, leaned out the door and told him to hurry back. Jamie turned abruptly around.

He waited until Murtagh was almost next to him then decided to scare him.

“Everything alright?” Jamie said and jumped back, ready for Murtagh’s swing.

“What are ye doing here? We were supposed to meet-” Murtagh started but Jamie cut him off.

“Aye, I ken where we’re supposed to meet, but ye wernna there, so I had to be sure ye and ye’re wife were fine.” Jamie said and smiled as Murtagh looked down. 

They walked a quarter mile further so they weren’t overheard by Violet. Jamie had to ask something that Murtagh had once asked him.

“Is ye’re marriage bed making ye soft already?” Jamie said and grinned.

Murtagh gave him the look like he didn’t know what he was talking about. A few minutes passed then Murtagh spoke.

“Jamie lad, after ye’re Mother didn’t choose me I never thought I would marry for the love of her and the oath I made to you, for you. But here, I can marry and still fulfill me oath.” He said, looking anguished.

“Aye, of course ye can man.” Jamie said and pounded Murtagh’s back.

“Then why do we hav’ta leave?” Murtagh said, deep and gravely. He rubbed his face with his right hand. “In a couple years we have to go back to live in a cave and only see ye’re bairns from a distance. In a couple years I will have to leave Vi and go back to a life of scrounging and scraping to survive. We could stay here. We could live safely and have plenty of food.” 

Jamie didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “I canna stay here man, this is not my time, just a place to stay for a while.” He said and looked in the distance.

“Aye, I am tired and drunk with love, dinna mind me lad.” Murtagh said. “Is everything fine? Is Claire still fine? The bairns and Fergus?” Murtagh asked.

“Aye, verre fine.” Jamie said.

“Well, thank ye” Murtagh said as he picked up one of the rabbits. Of course he picked up the one Jamie had already skinned. “I will be getting back to my wife. We will be at the house by noon tomorrow.” Murtagh said and went back to the little cabin. 

Jamie watched him go back until he went into the cabin. He remembered what it was like to be a new groom and it was a wonderful time full of possibility. Jamie hadn’t been looking at the expiration date of his marriage though. Jamie hadn’t known he had a limited time to be with Claire. 

Jamie turned and walked back to the house, stopping along the way to skin the other two rabbits. What if Murtagh decided to stay in this time? What if he wanted to stay with his wife? For the first time he wondered what life would be like without Murtagh and he skipped a step and almost fell.

I was watching him from the house and I saw him skip the step. My breath caught in my throat to see it. Jamie was sure footed and walked the earth solidly and with confidence; what would cause this?.

As soon as Jamie got back to the house it was time to leave to get Fergus to school. The lad had started going to school in January and Fergus loved school. I held my questions, just finished packing Fergus’s lunch, put a hat on him and kissed his cheek. He was waiting at the door for Jamie. Fergus loved school.

When he got back I was sitting at the table talking to Lily. I had Faith in her booster chair and the twins in the high chairs. They were clean and ready to start their day. We’d recently bought a playpen, which Jamie was theoretically against. It was quite handy when you were alone with three young children. Fergus had been a big help but he was in school now.

After Jamie got back it was time for him to take me to work. Jamie used the restroom, grabbed a biscuit and got back in the car.

“Do you mind driving so much on the days I work?” I asked Jamie.

“Nay, it is what needs to be done. That is what I do. I willna say I like it though.” He said with a smile.

“How was Murtagh and Violet?” I asked.

He paused before answering. “Murtagh was late meeting me so I had to chafe him a bit. I only saw Violet from a distance but she looked fine.”

“Do they need anything?” I asked.

He paused again. “More time.” Jamie said and I looked at him oddly. “Murtagh asked why we have to leave this time. He said here he can marry and have a woman and still fulfill his oath to me.” Jamie said. He didn’t look at me, Jamie was watching the road intently. 

“Wow.” I said. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. This would cause me to miss a step too.

“Pull over. Now.” I said. Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! I had looked down too long. As soon as the car stopped I jumped out and vomited. Jamie rubbed my back and when it stopped he handed me a tissue and a cup of water to rinse my mouth.

“When does the sickness stop?” Jamie asked softly.

“Soon I hope, but I don’t think it will for another month.” I said. I rinsed my mouth and stood up. “I’m alright. Let’s go.” I said and Jamie looked at me and smiled. 

We pulled into the hospital lot and Jamie walked me to the employee door. He’d been doing that ever since the Frank incident and I didn’t think it would stop anytime soon.

Jamie dropped me off and went home to eat his breakfast. Murtagh was on his mind and he thought about him staying here. Jamie tried to imagine life without Murtagh but it was hard.

Jamie had mastered peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He and the children ate that for lunch and tried not to listen to Lily on the telephone. She took an hour or so everyday and talked on the telephone while she ate her lunch. First was always a boy she was sweet on when he got his lunch break from work. Next were two different friends; both were married and weren’t supposed to stay on the phone in the evening.

After Jamie got them cleaned up from lunch he laid the twins down for a nap. Faith had what they called ‘quiet time’. She sat in bed with a book of pictures and her tin of crayons. She almost always fell asleep, but this way she felt like she had more freedom. 

Jamie sat in the front room and read the newspaper until it was time to go get Fergus. He was folding it up when an idea struck him that he got very excited about.

Jamie got his things together and picked up some money from his and Claire’s hiding spot. He waved at Lily on his way out of the house because she was still on the phone. He picked up Fergus who was eager to talk about school and everything he learned that day and the teachers and his friends. They got to the grocery store and Jamie realized he hadn’t said a word since he said hello to the lad.

Jamie and Fergus went through the isles and got everything on his list and a few extra things. He bought extra soap hoping he could send it through the rock to Jenny. He also bought extra candy and toothpaste. Fergus asked for a few extra things and he got that also. When he paid for the groceries and took them to the automobile it just fit in the storage compartment, or the boot as Claire called it.

They left the store and got to the hospital. Jamie got out of the car and got Claire’s raincoat because it was drizzling. He stood by the employee door and waited for his wife. Jamie was very eager to talk to her. He waited some more. 

Finally he went to the car and sat for a minute thinking.

“Where is she?” Fergus asked. “Where is Mere?”

“I dinna know.” Jamie said. He rummaged in the middle compartment of the car and pulled out the name that Claire had written down for him. “Stay here.” Jamie told Fergus.

Jamie entered the hospital and found the information desk Claire had pointed out to him months ago. He impatiently waited his turn.   
“My wife Claire Fraser is a nurse here, she didn’t leave when she was supposed to. I was wondering if she left a message?” Jamie said. He could feel the flush creeping up his chest and tried to calm himself. “I have the name of her boss if that helps.”

“It’s not necessary Mr. Fraser, she is in room 112.” The man said.

“Meaning what?” Jamie asked.

“Meaning you need to go to room 112. Down the hall to your left. Next.” The man answered.

Jamie moved away from the desk and reminded himself Claire would not be happy with him if he lost his temper. He went down the hall and found the room. The door was closed and Jamie paused. He opened the door and, seeing Claire, rushed to the bed.

“Sassenach!” Jamie said. Claire was lying on the bed and she was white as the sheets. There was a man at the end of the bed and another woman sitting in the bed holding her hand.

“Jamie!” I sat up and held my arms out. There was nothing more I wanted that to be held by my husband.

I buried my head in his chest.

“What is going on?” Jamie asked the room as large.

“Hello, I am Dr. Patterson. You are her husband?” the man said.

“Aye, I am her husband.” Jamie said.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her. She apparently has been sick all day, and this has been going on for a while. I have a medication which has worked wonders but she refuses to take it.” Dr Patterson said.

“Lass?” Jamie said. He stroked my cheek and I looked at him.

“No, no medication, it’s not safe for the baby.” I said.

“I give it to pregnant women all the time.” Dr Patterson said.

I looked at Dr. Patterson. “Then that is on you. I will not take it.” I said firmly.

“Then you must go on leave. I won’t have a fainting nurse who refuses to help herself.” Dr Patterson said.

I looked at Jamie’s eyes. I knew what they said, ‘ _ whatever you need, I will support you.’ _

“Fine. I am on leave then. I will be back tomorrow to pick up my check and sign the papers.” I said firmly.

Dr Patterson shook his head and left the room.

“Oh lass, I will miss ye!” Nurse Drever said to me. She handed a small piece of paper to Jamie. “When she is feeling better,” She turned to me, “Call her, she is… natural. I ken she can help ye.” She said. Nurse Drever squeezed my hand and left the room.

“Take me home please.” I said to Jamie. He picked up my bag and we walked out of the room and out of the hospital.

Fergus waited till I was close then got out of the car and ran to me. “What is going on? Are you okay Ma?” He asked quickly.

“Yes Fergus” I said and kissed his forehead. “I’m just sick from the baby.”

“I will make ye some ginger tea when we get home.” He said and opened the door for me to get in. I smiled and my heart contracted. He’s going to make me ginger tea.

We got home without me having to get out of the car and vomit. I had nothing left in my stomach. Fergus talked about what happened at school and I tried my best to listen. I was so tired and nauseous I just wanted to go to bed.

We got home and I sat on the couch in the front room with a bucket Lily brought me. Jamie and Fergus brought the groceries in and I fell asleep. I fell asleep right there on the couch with the twins and Faith running around and Jamie and Fergus bringing groceries in the house.

Jamie let me sleep until I woke which was at nine at night. The nausea had passed and I was ravenous; I ate 2 bowls of the rabbit stew, four pieces of toast with jam, and two pieces of leftover wedding cake.

“I am glad to see ye have an appetite.” Jamie said sitting at the table with me.

I looked up from the second piece of wedding cake. “How was your day? You know all about mine.” I asked.

“Aye Sassenach, I’ve had an idea. What do ye think about hiring an artist to draw pictures of us? We could put an ad in the paper looking for someone who could draw with pencil.” Jamie said.

“Do you want to send it with the soap?” I asked, smiling.

“Aye it’s for Jenny and Ian. it will be something verre special to them. The soap will be nice too.” He said.

“That’s a great idea, we’ll start on it tomorrow.” I said and smiled at him. I finished eating the cake and took my plate to the sink. I washed it and my fork then went to sit on Jamie’s lap. I kissed his neck and rubbed his back.

“Will ye miss work too much? Should we find ye some other work?” Jamie asked, a little breathless.

“No, I think I will keep busy right here.” I said and started a slow hand walk under his quilt. Jamie growled and stood up, picking me up with him. He took us to bed.


	28. Family and Horses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy November Readers,  
> I hope everyone is safe and healthy!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always let's thank Diana Gabaldon who wrote Outlander and made these wonderful characters!

**Tuesday February 14th 1950**

**Lallybroch**

I got up early the next day because I was nauseous. I slipped out of bed, trying to not wake Jamie and surprisingly I managed. I got sick then brushed my teeth. I put my coat over my robe to get some fresh air.

I walked out in the dooryard and thought about the day. St. Valentines day with Frank had no meaning; I didn’t recall ever being with him on St. Valentines day. I knew the day has origins in the Roman Festival of Lupercalia and Pope Gelasius changed it from the pagen holiday to a day named for a saint, so it really didn’t matter. I told myself it was foolish; Jamie showed me he loved me every day. He didn’t need to do anything special.

My walk was pleasant, and when I made it back in the house I was in a wonderful mood. I felt much better thinking about what Jamie did for me everyday. When I got back Lily was there and Jamie already had the children cleaned up and dressed at the table. Fergus greeted me warmly; he was eating and reading a book at the same time. As soon as I saw him Jamie went into the bedroom. My peaceful mood vanished in a moment. Not even a good morning? I followed him into the bedroom to give him a piece of my mind and a lesson on manners. I closed the door and opened my mouth and stopped. Jamie was standing with a small box held out to me.

“Happy St. Valentine's Day Sassenach.” Jamie said and handed me the box. I had no words. I opened the box and saw beautiful red heart earrings. My breath caught.

“They're beautiful.” I said, still a little breathless. 

`”I’m glad you like them.” Jamie said.

I went to the small mirror on the dresser and put them on. They sparkled and I loved them. He not only remembered the day but he also bought me a gift.

“They look more beautiful on you.” Jamie said and kissed me softly. I kissed him back, strongly and passionately; trying to get rid of my guilt for my thoughts earlier.

“I didn’t think… you show me you love me everyday…” I babbled.   
“The last time I was in town there were signs up and gifts available to purchase so I figured that was the way of it here. Since I have the means now I wanted to get ye something.” Jamie said. His voice got very low at the end. “Did I do wrong Sassenach? I’m sorry.” He said and put his hands on my face to wipe away the tears.

“No, No Jamie you did perfectly. I just didn’t expect anything.” I managed through my tears.

“Were your St. Valentine's Day gifts more extravagant?” Jamie asked.

“This is the first St. Valentine's Day gift I’ve ever received.” I said and kissed him. I tried to put my gratitude in the kiss; he made me feel very special and I needed to let him know I appreciated it. I broke the kiss and had an idea.

“I’m taking Fergus to school.” I announced. This was something I could do for him; he said he didn’t care for driving.

“Are ye nay sick? I dinna mind Sassenach.” He said softly.

“I’m fine right now, and I’m driving him. I had a nice walk and I think you should have one too.” I said, looking for clean clothes and trying to dress quickly.

I took Fergus to school and Jamie took his walk. I knew exactly what I wanted to get him: horses.

I dropped Fergus off and went to a farm I saw that had a ‘Friday-Horses for Sale’ sign and there was some Gaelic I didn’t understand. I pulled into the large farm and saw they operated a bed and breakfast also. I made my inquiries and then I made my plans.

That evening we got the children to bed and Fergus was still at the table finishing his homework.

“Do you want a steak? I’m putting some on the fire outside.” I asked him.

Fergus looked up and smiled. “No, I couldn't eat if I tried.” He said and patted his tiny stomach. 

“Do you need any help with your homework?” I asked.

“No, but I do have something I want to talk to you about Mere.” Fergus said. He went on to ask about creating a library in one of the empty rooms and him having a desk or a table to do his homework.

I told him that was an excellent idea and I would talk to Jamie about it when I went outside. Jamie had the fire going and I gave him the steaks. He loved the idea of having a library and planned to start work on it the next day.

We ate steak and asparagus outside. We were cuddled together by the fire.

“This takes me back Sassenach. Eating next to you by a fire.” Jamie said softly and looked in the distance.

“Me too. Do you miss it?” I asked.

“Do I miss what? Spending so much time to find food and hiding all day long? Sleeping on the cold ground, nay, I dinna miss it.” Jamie said. He was still looking in the distance. “I will tell ye what I do miss though; I miss the smell of wild Scotland, I miss that there was so much more countryside and so fewer people, I miss the quiet, I miss having a slower day without a schedule, I miss riding a horse so fast my hair blew in the wind.” Jamie said and sighed. He looked at me and said, “And I miss seeing ye in dresses, pants are so much harder to get you out of.” Then he kissed me.

We made love that night, sweet and slow. I was bursting to tell him about Friday but I wanted him to have a surprise. 

The week passed slowly. I drove Fergus back and forth to school all week. That way I could go into town and go to the bank to withdraw money. I got more than I thought we would need because I didn’t know if the barn would need repairs.

We didn’t see Murtagh and Violet until Wednesday. I was getting nervous because I planned on them going with us. When they came into the house they were hand in hand and laughing. Marriage agreed with them both. When I got her by alone I told Violet my whole plan and she loved it. She was in with me. I arranged Lily to spend Friday night and she did but she wanted her younger sister to be able to stay also. I agreed; I’d already met her and knew it would be fine.

  
**Friday February 17th 1950**

**Lallybroch**

Friday evening finally came and Violet and I were in the front room with the overnight bags and more than ready to go. Murtagh and Jamie were still getting dressed. I think they were a little nervous because they didn’t know where we were going.

Murtagh came out first and looked at Violet, then did a little turn. “Will I pass?” He asked.

“Aye, ye look verre fine my husband.” Violet replied and went to kiss him.

Just then Jamie came around the corner with Faith in his arms. As soon as Faith saw Murtagh and Violet kissing she got angry.

“No, he is my Muta.” Faith said and wormed her way down and went to put her arms around Murtagh’s leg.

“Agh, lass,” Murtagh said and picked up Faith. “Violet is my wife and she makes me very happy, ye ken. Can ye not see ye’re way to sharing me?” Murtagh said and waited. Faith still looked angry and I thought I might have to pull her off him, but she thought of something and her look instantly changed.

“May I call ye Gran?” Faith asked Violet.

“I dinna think-” Murtagh started but Fergus cleared his throat. We were getting a room ready for a library but it wasn’t finished so he was still at the kitchen table reading.

“Excuse moi, but maybe think about it? We are a family, even if we are not defined by blood. We are a family and we function well as one. Maybe calling people by traditional titles would help?” Fergus said.

No one said anything for a minute, then Jamie hugged Fergus and said, “When did ye get so smart lad?”

“I was born this way.” Fergus said, always  _ so  _ humble.

Violet was smiling when she looked at Faith in Murtagh’s arms. “I would be very happy if ye called me Gran.” Violet said to Faith, and she also looked at Fergus and nodded.

“Will ye please walk me to bed Gran?” Faith said. When Violet nodded Faith ran to me and hugged me. She ran to Jamie and hugged him too, she also whispered something in his ear.

Then Faith took Violet's hand and they walked to her room. Violet came back in a few minutes and we left without saying anything.

When we got in the car I asked Jamie what Faith said.

“I canna break the confidence of my daughter.” He said not looking at me.

“Keep your secrets, that's fine with me.” I said and laughed at him.

Murtagh and Jamie made wild guesses about where we were going. When I pulled up and they both saw the large sign, “HORSE AUCTION” they grew quiet and looked at each other.

“Sassenach, what are we doing here?” Jamie asked me.

“I thought the two of ye might miss riding, and I didn’t want to forget anything I learned….” I said and trailing off. They were both still looking at me.

“We are here to buy some horses.” I said plainly.

Jamie kissed me and jumped out of the car. Murtagh was right behind him and the two of them headed to the barn.

Violet and I laughed and made a few remarks about true highlanders. We got ourselves checked in and went to the rooms. They were very nice and we were both pleased.

We checked out the auction and registered ourselves. We both had a paddle with a number so we set out to the barn. We found Jamie and Murtagh quickly; they were the ones not politely observing from afar like the rest of the buyers. They were the ones with the hands all over the horses and speaking to the stable lads. They were both dirty already. We got them back from the horses.

“Well, how are the horses?” I asked. Jamie answered quickly and thoroughly. Apparently there were five, maybe six good looking horses and they wanted to buy a pony for Faith. I thought about telling him she was too young but I remembered where she would be in a few years and I thought the younger she started the better she was likely to be.

They had one more trip around to see all the horses and they had their plans set. Violet and I talked about her experience with horses which was substantial. She would be a fine riding partner for Murtagh.

The auction was fun. Jamie and Murtagh bid on six horses and two ponies but we won three horses and one pony. We also got four pigs and a dozen or so chickens in the ‘warm up’ auction. Jamie and Murtagh were very excited and planned how they were going to separate the barn.

After it was over we lingered and talked about how the auction went. Finally it was our turn to pay. 

“Fraser and Fraser?” The auctioneer asked, approaching us.

“Yes.” Jamie and Murtagh replied together. The auctioneer smiled. He gave us the total and I paid. Violet insisted on paying for the horse Murtagh wanted for himself and I could see he was touched.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t get everything delivered for almost two weeks, will that be alright?” He asked.

“That will be fine, thank you sir.” Jamie said, taking the bill of sale and the paperwork on the horses.

I found out Jamie and Murtagh had us hang back on purpose. By getting the latest delivery, the animals would be fed and kept while Jamie and Murtagh had almost two weeks to get the barn ready.

We had a drink and talked over the action. We were all happy on how it went but I expressed my surprise on the pigs and chickens.

Murtagh looked at me oddly. “How long did ye think we would live at Lallybroch without making it a farm?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I hadn’t thought of it yet.” I said.

“Well, it is a farm and that's what it was built for. It’s good for our children to get used to animals and to start riding again.” Jamie said and took my hand.

“You’re right, that’s why we’re here.” I said and smiled. I had little to no idea of how to take care of chickens and even less on pigs.

“I’m ready to go whenever ye are lass.” Murtagh said and squeezed Violet’s hand.

Violet looked at me. “Well, we aren’t going anywhere tonight.” I said and nodded at Violet. We both produced our room keys at the same time. Not surprisingly, they had no effect.

“We are staying the night. The family made their manor house into a bed and breakfast.” I said and looked at Jamie, “We are in room number three.” I saw him getting the picture and a wide grin was on his face.

“And we are in the cabin next to the house. It has electricity though.” Violet said.

Jamie and Murtagh stood up at the same time. Violet blushed and I smiled. We said our goodnight and went to our respective rooms.

“Animals and a night away from the children. Quite a gift Sassenach.” Jamie said as he locked the door to our room and turned around.

“I thought so.” I said as I sat on the bed and took off my shoes. I’d worn a dress and heels all night and my feet were killing me.

Jamie walked towards me slowly and knelt in front of me by the bed. He took my right foot and started massaging it. “Ye looked mighty nice in your dress and stilts, verre bonne.” He said. Jamie knelt on the floor in front of me and kissed the inside of my calf. He picked up left foot and massaged it for a few minutes then kissed the inside of my other calf.

“Lay back.” Jamie said and pushed me over gently. Jamie folded my dress up and his hands went up my legs…

“Sassenach!” Jamie said in surprise. “Ye didna wear the…” It took him just a second while he thought of the current word. “Knickers! Ye’re honeypot isna covered.” Jamie said while putting his hand over said honeypot.

“It is now.” I said and wiggled. I wanted my highlander very much.

“Mmm I will have to administer tongue lashings for that.” Jamie said right before his head went between my legs.

I received my tongue lashings willingly and lustily. At one point I threw up my skirt and grabbed Jamie by the hair so he wouldn’t move while I climaxed and moaned deeply.

Afterwards, while I was still stretching my legs Jamie got up and drank some wine. “Ye are mighty beautiful Claire.” He said softly and deeply.

I noticed the use of my actual name and looked at him. He was staring at me, and was obviously ready for more. I sat up and took my dress and bra off slowly. I lay back on the bed and beckoned him. He practically jumped on me. We made love fiercely and I enjoyed it very much.

We made love two more times that night. It was so nice just sleeping naked and feeling his skin next to mine. It was like when we were first married and we had three days to spend by ourselves.

Breakfast was delivered to our room and Jamie peeked out of the door before getting it because he only wore a shirt. I was sitting naked on the bed giggling. It was a hearty breakfast and we ate everything before making love one more time. We bathed together and got dressed quickly because the check out time was fast approaching.

When we checked out Jamie made sure to get a list of the coming available nights for the bed and breakfast. I blushed a bit.

We met Murtagh and Violet, the latter who was blushing madly. I said good morning and kissed her cheek. Murtagh never let go of her hand.

On our way to the car Jamie and Murtagh started to talk about the barn when a man ran out of the manor and looked around. Spotting us he ran right to us.

“Excuse me, are you the Frasers who give demonstrations and lessons on sword fighting?” He asked.

“Aye.” Murtagh said and stepped in front of Violet.

“I mean no harm sir, my name is Malloch, Henry Malloch, I own this property.” He said and extended his hand. Jamie and Murtagh shook his hand.

“Jamie and Murtagh Fraser.” Jamie said.

“I was wondering if you would consider giving demonstrations here?” Henry Malloch said.

Jamie and Murtagh looked at each other. I didn’t think they wanted to do it. They had two weekend days planned and booked for March already.

“Could ye come back Monday? Say… six o’clock? Bring ye’re wives and we will talk?” Mr. Malloch asked.

“Aye.” Jamie said and shook Mr. Malloch’s hand. The man looked at Murtagh and received a slight nod.

Mr. Malloch looked very happy and nodded back, then went back inside. We got in our car and as soon as the last door was shut it began.

“I know ye dinna want-” Jamie started.

“Why did ye agree to more-” Murtagh started.

“I had a great time. Did you have a great time?” I asked Violet.

“Oh, aye, it was verre nice.” Violet said and took Murtagh’s hand.

“That’s great, Why don’t you two settle this when we get home?” I said and cuddled against Jamie who was driving. It was quiet the rest of the way home. 

Jamie and Murtagh took our bags inside then went back outside to get some issues worked out I guess.

“What room will you and Murtagh want to keep?” I asked Violet.

“The one he is already in I suppose.” Violet said. I looked at her and smiled.

I took her to Murtagh’s room. Murtagh had a twin size bed and Faith’s bed in his room. His clothes were in a pile next to his bed, The windows were bare.

“This won’t do at all will it?” Violet said. “I still have my house that I want to keep and we will be there sometimes but this room is too small.” She said, shaking her head.

We’d finished a few of the rooms and I took her to the largest which happened to be a few rooms away from us. I thought that was a good thing for newlyweds.

“This would be nice!” Violet said. She went on to tell me where she would put certain furniture and we made plans.

Murtagh and Jamie came in and they were both smiling so an accord had been reached. About fifteen minutes after that the children ran in followed by Lily and her sister. They’d been bike riding and we heard the step by step from Faith. We paid Lily and thanked her and her sister who was sweet, then they left.

Fergus told us everything that happened and we paid attention. It was all fine but in our absence Fergus was the self appointed caretaker of the children and he made sure to let us know he was watching. We were trying to figure out a way to let him be more of a kid here, because this was the only chance he would likely get, but we hadn’t got there yet. 

We told Fergus we had horses coming and he was excited. I hadn’t realized he enjoyed riding, but after hearing him talk about it I realized it wasn’t exactly a matter of enjoyment. He felt like a man who knew how to handle a horse held a certain status. After all the news was exchanged he asked to go read a book which Jamie approved. Jamie looked at me and we had a nonvocal conversation

_ Jamie - did ye ever think Fergus would be so scholarly? _

_ Me - No, but maybe just because he didn’t have the opportunity _

_ Jamie - I like it _

_ Me - Me too _

We got unpacked and I found Violet in the kitchen. “I was thinking Murtagh and I could stay at my house until we get a bedroom together here. Do you mind?” She asked me.

“No, of course not, you two are husband and wife. I know I am the one who got a divorce but I truly respect marriage. I thought you two would be staying the week at your house and the weekends here because you are still going to be working for the Reverend aren’t you?” I said.

“Yes, but Murtagh won’t have anything to do there during the weekdays. He’d be driving out here anyway.” She said.

“Well,” I whispered and took a step closer to her, “Maybe think about letting him drive out here. You two will have your privacy there, and that is valuable.” I said.

She smiled. “You might be right.” Violet said.

Murtagh walked in and I finished, “Whatever you two decide will be fine. You know you are welcome here.”

“Of course ye are welcome here, ye’re my wife.” Murtagh said in his no nonsense way.

“And where did ye plan for me to sleep, in Faith’s bed?” Violet asked. I left the room to let them figure it out but I was inwardly cheering for her. Violet tended to be so quiet, and I was happy she was speaking up for herself.

I found Jamie, Fergus and the children in our makeshift library. Fergus was laying on the couch reading a children's book out loud and all three of the young ones were laying on him. Faith was the only one not asleep. Jamie was making a plan for bookshelves and was planning to put an order in for wood. I sat next to him and was looking at Fergus and the children. It was a beautiful sight and once again I reminded myself I needed to purchase a camera. Fergus was fine with three children laying on him; just that fact warmed my heart.

“Fergus” I said softly and he looked at me.

“Yes,” Fergus said.

“You were right yesterday. Completely right. We may not all be related by blood but we are a family and you are our son.” I said quietly, but firmly.

“Aye, I am proud to call ye my son.” Jamie added.

Fergus looked at us and nodded. I could see tears welling up a bit in his eyes but he held the book back up to read. I walked over to him, kissed his forehead and wiped his eyes.


	29. The period is important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope my readers are safe and well.
> 
> Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to Outlander
> 
> 11/08 - corrected a few errors

Monday February 20th 1950

The Health Van was parked where the assistant told me it would be, at the opposite edge of town as the hospital. We had a nine am appointment and it was eight thirty. Fergus was due at school at eight so it was easy to come here after. Jamie stopped the car and I got out and vomited. I’d brought my toothbrush and toothpaste and I proceed to brush my teeth.

Jamie was a little nervous about coming with me because in his time having babies was a woman’s job and he didn’t know what would happen after we told them our twins were born in a cave. We didn’t know what to say about Faith but I told him I would ‘wing it’.

“Jamie and Claire Fraser?” A very short black haired woman said.

“Yes, that’s us.” I said after I spit my toothpaste out and wiped my mouth.

“Hello,” The woman smiled and shook my hand, “My name is Tayen and I help out. Please have a seat.” Tayen said and led us to the makeshift waiting area.

I filled out basic information on the intake papers and as soon as I was finished Tayen told me I could go in.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Bolin, but please call me Alice.” Jamie and I shook hands with her.

“I understand you are pregnant?” She paused for a confirmation, “Congratulations! Is this your first?” Alice asked.

“No, my first child is Faith, then I had twins. We also have an adopted son who is the oldest.” I said and looked at Jamie. Okay, maybe I was nervous too and babbling a bit.

“Okay how is this pregnancy going?” Alice asked.

I burped and put my head down and closed my eyes. If I were to vomit now it would be so embarrassing. Jamie took over.

“Dr. Alice, she is sick all the time. Claire has lost weight,” Jamie pulled out the waistband of my skirt a bit and it had plenty of give. I thought I just forgot to wear a belt. “I am worried about Claire ye ken. She is getting sick so much canna be good for her or the bairn.” Jamie finished and waved air at me. 

“Ok, so your morning sickness is in overdrive?” Alice asked.

“That is correct.” I said.

“Can I get a look at you?” She asked. I looked at Jamie and he helped me to get on her makeshift cot. She washed her hands, (I started to like her here) and felt all around my abdomen. She got an odd looking stethoscope and got it a few inches away from me when Jamie put his hand on it.

“Excuse me, what is this please?” Jamie asked nicely.

“This will help me hear the baby’s heartbeat, like this,” Alice put it on Jamie and he nodded.

“It will nay hurt the babe Sassenach.” Jamie said.

I didn’t know what to say. ‘Of course it won’t hurt the child’ sounded rather…bad.

“It’s good to have a protective Dad.” Alice said and shook her shoulders as if to shake it off.

She put her odd stethoscope on my abdomen and felt around. Alice got to a spot and stayed there for a while. I started to get worried when she took them off and said, “Everything seems fine and I think there is only one baby, but I am not positive.” 

I was hoping for one but I guess it really wasn’t in my hands anymore. Two is just such a handful. “I’m fine with one instead of two.” I said and Alice smiled. She washed her hands again and looked at Jamie.

“Would you like to listen? The fast heartbeat is your child’s.” She said. Jamie took the stethoscope from her willingly and put it on the way she showed him.

I was just laying on the table trying to decide between eating or vomiting but Jamie looked at me with watery eyes. I watched him and saw the tears fall. He leaned nearer to me and put one of the ear pieces in my ear and I heard it. I heard the heartbeat of the baby inside me and everything suddenly felt worth it. I vomit probably four to five times a day but it is because this being can live so it is fine. Everything was worth it. 

“Claire…” Jamie said. He held my hand and stared in my eyes.

“I know…” I said and squeezed his hand.

It took me another minute, but I did remember we were seeing a doctor. I sat up.

“Dr. Alice?” I asked and looked around.

  
“Over here.” She said and waved. She was directly behind us and I apologized.

“Not at all, please. I wish every couple were as touched to hear their child’s heartbeat.” Alice said.

“Alright, this is what I recommend we try; Claire you are to get a full night’s rest every night, you should lay down once or twice a day for at least thirty minutes to an hour. Keep crackers or something like that by your bed and eat something before you even raise your head off your pillow. Dad, this may mean you caring for the other children in the morning.” Alice said and looked at Jamie.

“Of course, I do now anyway because Claire vomits. I’d much rather do it so she can be well.” Jamie said. I think Dr. Alice was used to men who weren’t as involved as Jamie.

“You also need to snack often, healthy fruits and vegetables. An empty stomach is your enemy right now. I’d also like you to try increasing your vitamin B6 intake. These include seeds, nuts, bananas and other fruits, fish and lean meat.” Dr. Alice said. She looked at Jamie who was writing madly.

“I have a handout Mr. Fraser, you don’t need to write it down.” She said. He looked up and thanked her. I didn't think he quite understood handout but I know he was glad he didn't have to write it all down.

“One more thing, I have no idea of your means, but if you are interested in hiring help I have a list of people I have taught first aid too who are looking for work.” She said.

“Aye, can we get that list please?” Jamie said. I was thinking we were fine because we already had Lily to help us, but we could discuss that later.

We paid for the visit, a remarkably small amount, and went to the car.

“That was so nice hearing the baby’s heartbeat.” I said and closed my eyes reliving it.

“Aye, it was.” Jamie said.

We didn’t say anything for a while but the turnoff to go to Lallybroch came and went.

“Jamie, that was the turn for home.” I said, thinking maybe he missed it.

“Aye, I ken.” He said, matter of fact in his tone.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the food store to get the foods the doctor said for you to eat.” Jamie answered. So we went grocery shopping in two different stores. Jamie insisted on getting everything on the list so I could try it. I was eating peanuts on the way home and ended up thanking Jamie for insisting we buy them.

We made it home at lunchtime and Murtagh helped to carry in the groceries. Violet was working at the manse but she left us a soup with a lot of fresh vegetables in it and it looked delicious. I looked outside to see what was taking Murtagh and Jamie so long. Jamie was standing by the car mimicking the big stethoscope being put on an exaggerated belly. Murtagh looked excited about the story. They looked like they might be a while so I helped myself to some soup.

That night Jamie, Murtagh, Violet and myself were sitting at the dining room table. We were trying to decide if we should hire more help.

“I have a suggestion,” Violet said, “This is something that is being done in the states and Inverness has two of them.” She paused here and took a breath. “Have ye thought about preschool? It’s like a daycare but the children get taught like school. The twins are likely too young, but Faith is the right age. They have morning and afternoon sessions and it lasts for three or four hours.” Violet said.

No one said anything for a full minute. Jamie looked at me and I looked at him.

“What kind of things do they learn?” Murtagh asked. He was always the skeptical one.

“Colours, numbers, how to write their names, things like that. Also Faith will learn how to play with other children her own age.” Violet said.

“I like this idea, maybe we can go there and look at it?” Jamie said.

I was nodding, I knew Jamie was right, it was a good idea. _My child was going to be in the hands of someone else for hours a day!?_

Two days later Jamie, Murtagh, Faith and I were walking through one of the preschools. Faith loved it. She immediately started talking to other children and looking at the papers on the wall.

“Faith honey, we are going over here to talk.” I said so she wouldn’t be scared.

“Ok Mama” Faith said. She didn't even look at me but went to pick up an abacus. 

When Jamie and I were away from the teachers he said, “Look at her, she loves it! What do we know about the people who work here though?”

“Exactly, she loves it now but what happens when we are nay here to watch?” Murtagh said.

Unfortunately, I realized I had to be the voice of reason. I had to be the one to offer trust where my Faith was concerned and it didn’t sit well.

“If this works out it will be good for Faith. Maybe it will start her education early and I think, considering our future plans, starting it early is good for Faith.” I said and looked meaningfully at Murtagh and Jamie.

“Aye.” Jamie said and Murtagh nodded then wandered a bit.

“Sassenach ye’re right,” Jamie said softly, “We teach our barins so they can be good without us. This is a good step for Faith.” he finished. Murtagh had wandered back over.

“What do you think about her staying here without us Murtagh?” I asked. He paused before saying anything and he looked around.

“It’s clean, the teachers watch the wanes, there are a lot of toys, Faith likes it, they will help her learn. The paper by the door says it is approved by Scotland.” Murtagh said. “Aye I think she should try it, if ye dinna let her ye would be holdin her back.” He finished.

“Just so you know the paper by the door isn’t approval, it’s a license.” I said.

“Murtagh has the decided vote?” Jamie asked and looked at me astonished.

“Yes.” I said and turned around to find the office again to pick up the papers I would need to fill out.

“Is this with all my bairns? Murtagh gets the final vote on what happens, not me, their Da?” Jamie asked, still a little shocked.

I stopped and turned around to look him in the eye. “No, it is just with Faith.” I said and turned back around.

I got Faith and she didn’t want to leave. We stopped by the office and got the paperwork to fill out so we could register her for preschool. Faith could join the afternoon session which would work out well at home. She was getting too old to nap, but the twins still napped. I could nap with the twins and she could go to school.

I stopped our little group on the way out. There was a help wanted sign up at the door. I took the sign and went back to the office.

“Excuse me, what position are you hiring?” I said and showed the sign.

“Sassenach, ye aren’t supposed to work.” Jamie whispered.

“We need a clean up person for the afternoon, that’s all.” The lady said.

“That’s wonderful, Murtagh is looking for a job!” I said.

“I am?” he said.

I turned around to face him and whispered, “Please, you could be here when Faith is here to make sure she is alright. Please, just for a little while?” I said and took his hand.

He gave me the smallest of nods, squeezed my hand then let it go and stepped up to the small office. “Aye, I am looking for work.” He said in a strong voice.

“It’s just a cleaning job. You would be dusting and sweeping and mopping floors, that type of thing. We pay you daily when you leave, and oh, I almost forgot! If you work here your granddaughter Faith would attend for free.” She said. I was hoping Murtagh didn’t correct her about Faith being his granddaughter.

“Aye, that sounds fine. When can I start?” He asked.

“How about next Monday? Faith can start then too if you can bring the paperwork back at the same time.” The office lady said. I wished I had remembered her name.

“That will work out great, thank you.” I said and shook her hand. I shuffled our crew out the door. We got in the car and I expected Murtagh to complain but he didn’t say anything.

“You’re sure you are okay with the job?” I asked Murtagh. Faith was sitting next to him holding his hand.

“Aye, I ken why ye want me to work there. I ken why ye canna do it. I will do it, dinna fash lass.” He said and stroked Faith’s hair.

Violet was pleased that Murtagh had an official job. She told me privately that she was glad Murtagh had something of his own and I agreed but honestly I didn’t see it that way. He was still helping us; he was making sure that one of Jamie’s children was safe and happy. Over the next week I found myself watching Murtagh a lot more than usual and I saw how he lit up with Violet. I thought Violet was the first big thing he’d done for himself in his life. I knew Ellen had been his first love, but I was glad he saw his way to open his heart again.

Next Monday Faith and Murtagh left right after lunch to go to school. Faith was very happy to be going and Murtagh was smiling too.

I watched them drive away then I cried.

“Dinna fash Sassenach, Murtagh would never let harm come to our Faith. He would die first.” Jamie said and put his arms around me.

“I know, I don’t know why I’m crying.” I said hiccuping.

Lily cleared her throat at the door to the hall. “I’m going to read to the twins then put them down for a nap.”

“Aye, thank ye Lily.” Jamie said. “Come one Sassenach, let’s get some rest.” Jamie said and took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

He undressed me and we lay down. He pulled me tight to him and put his arm around me. I cried a little more but I did fall asleep.

I woke up to Faith yelling, “Momma!”

She burst into my room and just started talking.

“Momma, at school today teacher wrote my name and I traced it. First I traced it in red, that's spelled r-e-d, then I traced it in yellow, that's spelled y-e-l-l-o-w. Faith is spelled f-a-i-t-h, that's my name. My teachers name is Ms. Patricia and that’s spelled m-s-. And you aren’t supposed to forget the period, p-a-t-r-i-c-i-a. She has brown hair and she is nice. We get to pick a piece of fruit for a snack and we get milk and it comes in these little containers…” and she kept going. Jamie was waiting at the door watching me put my clothes back on and smiling wide at Faith. 

We came into the dining room to marvelous smells and Murtagh and Violet were sitting at the table. The twins were sitting in the high chairs eating cereal. I looked at Murtagh and smiled. He looked at me and nodded.

“I got scared after snack.” Faith said and looked at the floor.

“What?” I said and looked at Faith. 

“I was scared, just a little bit. I told teacher I had to go potty but I went to find my Muta because he said he would nay leave me and he didn’t Momma, he was right there.” She said and waved at Murtagh who winked at her.

“Muta told me I just had the wigglies though, and after I shook them out I was fine.” She said and took her seat.

“The wigglies?” I asked. I was looking at Faith but Jamie was looking at Murtagh.

“Yep, he said my Daddy had the wigglies when he was little and he told me just how to get rid of them.” Faith said. “I’m hungry, can we pray?” She looked at everyone like they were keeping her from eating, then folded her hands and bowed her head.

“Aye” Jamie said, closed his eyes and prayed for the room. “Lord, we thank you for this day and this food. Please bless the hands that prepared it. Thank you for the many blessings we have, especially for those we dinna always realize. Amen.” And then we ate.

The weeks passed and our family fell into a routine. Jamie and Murtagh always got up first and went outside to check and care for the livestock. Jamie used to get back in first to get the children up, but after three days following Dr. Alice’s advice I hardly ever vomited. I told him to do what he wanted to do because I could get the children. Fergus got himself up though, he was very independent. We all sat down to breakfast, except Fergus who’d already eaten because he was always worried about being late for school even though he’d never been late.

Jamie got Fergus to school and came back to work either on the house or the barn. The jobs requiring two people got done in the mornings while Murtagh was still here. I’d made flashcards and some things I found in some books. Faith was bent on learning as much as she could and I worked with the twins too because now I worried about their education also. Brianna was using words well but not putting them together yet. Alex knew about four words.

After lunch Faith and Murtagh would leave and the twins and I would lie down for a nap. Lily would likely start dinner and maybe the grocery list. Jamie would finish working on whatever needed done.

Once a week Jamie, Murtagh and I would sit down and go over the money. Usually on Monday mornings because Lily wasn't there yet. They were unaccustomed to doing this but they did alight. Murtagh continued to throw in his money for working at the preschool even when we told him time and time again to keep it. We told him he was doing us a favor by watching Faith and staying there to begin with- and he cut us off.

“Just stop with the favor.” Murtagh said. He got up and walked to the window. “I was there more than ye were man when Claire was pregnant. Ye were off with that blasted Charles Stewart at whorehouses and since he nay liked me, when I wasn’t standing guard over you I was singing the old songs to ye’re barn.” He turned again and looked out the window.

Jamie looked at me and I nodded my head. I opened my mouth to say something but I shut it. Murtagh didn't speak a lot; I didn't think I should interrupt.

“Many a night I sent the servants away because Claire was crying. I would tend the fire and she would lie on the chaise and I would tell her stories from when you were a boy.” Murtagh said and suddenly turned around to us, “So no more calling it a favor.”

“Aye” Jamie said.

“Of course” I said. I smiled thinking of those nights. I would fall asleep to Murtagh’s voice. I missed Jamie, but I wasn't alone. Murtagh made sure I wasn't alone.

“You know I thank ye-” Jamie started.

“I didna want ye’re thanks.” Murtagh said, still looking out the window.

“So you can sing the old songs?” A new voice asked. We all turned to see Violet in the door holding a suitcase and a baby. Violet was obviously upset.

“Violet!” We all said and got up to help her. Murtagh took the baby and Jamie took the suitcase and I led her to sit on the couch.

Violet told us of how she was at the manse when a lawyer showed up with a woman and the baby. Violet’s niece Helan was driving when another car hit her and she and her husband were killed. Since Violet’s sister was already passed, the baby went to Violet until Helan’s brother George marries and then only if Violet gives him the child.

Jamie stood up and checked on Lily and the children outside. 

“If it makes ye uneasy to have the babe-” Violet started.

“No.” I said and stood up. I don’t know why I felt so strongly about this, maybe because I was a mother myself.

“Violet, it does not make us uneasy at all. The baby is welcome.” I said with strong emphasis on the word welcome.

“Aye.” Jamie said strongly.

Murtagh sat next to her, the baby still in his arms. “Of course the bairn is welcome Vi, one problem though.” He said.

Violet paled a little. “What?” She said.

“What is the bairn’s name?” Murtagh asked.

“Benjamin. Helan named him Benjamin.” Violet said and sniffed a little. We have a new baby to add to our clan but there is a young woman and her husband who died.

Just then Lily came in with the children. Jamie and I picked up the twins and Faith went right to the baby.

“A little bairn! Is it yours Gran?” Faith asked and cooed over it.

“Aye lass, it is mine and Murtagh’s now.” Violet said and looked at Murtagh who smiled at her.

Plans were made and Murtagh and Violet were driving Faith to school. Murtagh wasn’t going to work today, instead they were going to the lawyers office to sign the papers. After that they would stop at Violet’s house and gather some items then do some shopping before picking Faith up and coming home. 

The twins went down for a nap but I stayed up today to care for little Benjamin. I had already shortened his name to Ben. He was a darling boy with light red curls and bright blue eyes. Jamie and I finished dealing with our bills in the library. Jamie was giving a lot of sword fighting lessons and Murtagh and he had decided to give the presentations at the bed and breakfast. The first presentation was a huge hit and the next one was Friday. I wondered when the funeral for Violet’s family would be held and if we should cancel it now.

Jamie left to get Fergus and he explained about the baby on the way home so that when Fergus walked in he asked to see our family’s newest addition.

As it turned out Helan had been buried in England where she lived. That was hard on Violet; she didn’t get to say her goodbye. 

Ben fit into the household just fine. We did end up hiring extra help from the list Dr Alice gave us. We hired a woman about my age named Flora. She was unmarried but really wanted children. Flora and Lily got on well together and on the few occasions when all four adults went out together we had both of them at the house. I knew Fergus was independent and would fend for himself just fine, but there were four young children.

February somehow turned into April. I know March was somewhere in between but the house was so busy it flew by.

I had a play yard set up for Brianna, Alex and Ben outside. This way I could put the children in the play yard while I gardened. I was very excited about my garden. This worked well for a few weeks until one day I noticed Brianna looking at all the toys and trying to put something together. I turned back to pull some weeds around my budding basil plant and heard a bang!

I jumped up, this was getting more difficult to do with my increasing belly, and looked at the children. Brianna was laughing! She had found a way to pop open the lock that kept the play yard together. I was proud that my daughter had figured it out but a little put out because I couldn’t just let them roam while I worked on my garden.

I had Flora and Lily come get them and keep an eye on them until lunch. I wasn’t supposed to be picking the babies up anymore. That night Jamie laughed until he cried when I told him.

“I guess ye canna put the bairns in a cage anymore.” He said, still laughing.

“It’s not a cage.” I said.

He kissed away my annoyance. We made love that night, as we did most nights. Jamie was always careful of our growing child. After I have this baby, as soon as I am able, I am going to ask Jamie for some roughness. Not that I didn’t appreciate the consideration but we usually made love with a passion that sometimes involved rough play. I missed it.

That night I rolled on top of Jamie and had my way. I wasn’t sweet or nice; I put my hand on his chest to hold him in place while I got my pleasure.

“Sassenach, I need to-” Jamie tried to say.

“No, not yet.” I said.

Jamie grabbed me by the neck and gave me the most passionate kiss, and I didn’t need to hold him in place anymore. Our release came at the same time and it was beautiful and sweet, and this time I liked the sweetness.


	30. Fireflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers,
> 
> This chapter is a little long; I thought about splitting it but didn't. 
> 
> Please excuse the lack of the le trema,the French accent marks over letters. I can get them on the words, but they don't seem to stay when I post the chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Monday, April 10th 1950

Lallybroch

I woke up before Jamie today. My nausea was absent again this morning and I smiled wide and put my hand on my not quite flat abdomen in thanks. Dr. Alice said, and I agreed, that I was likely entering my second trimester and nausea would not be my daily companion anymore. 

I was naked and fresh from a night of lovemaking with Jamie. I smiled at my husband; he had hair covering his eyes and I really wanted to move it but I knew better. As soon as I touched him he would move. I grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I came out of the bathroom Fergus was up and sitting at the table with Faith. They were both eating toast, likely because Fergus could make that. 

“Good Morning Mere.” Fergus and Faith said together. I briefly wondered if Faith would have Jamie’s flair for languages. 

“Good morning my darlings! How did you sleep?” I asked, making my own toast.

“I dreamt I was stuck in the in-between again.” Faith said, happily chewing away.

I froze and looked at Fergus. He was calm; she must’ve told him already. As if to illustrate what I already thought Fergus said, “Tell Mere what else happened, Faith.” Fergus was looking at me all the time.

“You, Momma came in to the in-between, and you had white light all around you. You saved me.” Faith said and smiled at me.

I put my milk and toast on the table and tried to play it calm. “That’s a nice dream Faith.” I said and reached for the marmalade.

“It’s not a dream Momma, I know it happened. I just dream of being there again, but you always save me.” Faith said and then she hugged Fergus. “What is brother in french?” she asked.

“Frere.” Fergus said and Faith repeated it. 

I finished my toast watching them and drank my milk. Faith asked Fergus one thing after another about the french language. The girl was like a sponge. 

I heard the twins up and I put my glass and plate in the sink and went to get them. They were awake and throwing their pillows at each other and laughing hysterically. I wished little Benny was here; he laughed at the antics of the twins all the time. Murtagh and Violet had decided to spend the weekend at her house to give them some privacy. Murtagh and Ben would be here in an hour or so when Violet went to work at the manse.

I had the twins changed, fed, cleaned up and dressed for the day by the time Jamie was up. I had both the twins in their walkers and they were bumping each other like they were in bumper cars. I hoped the walkers would strengthen their legs; the company that made the walkers claimed to strengthen the baby's legs. They were desperately trying to walk. We will see I guess.

Jamie was still in the shower when it was time to take Fergus to school, but Lily had just arrived. Fergus and I left and had an interesting conversation on the way to school:

“Mere, are you a fairy or a witch?”

“No Fergus, I am not! We’ve had this conversation before… I am just a woman who believes in science.”

“You are a woman who believes in science who brought us through stones and went back though to bring the babe she lost back to us but she is a three year old girl.”

I paused here. What did I say? “Yes.” What else could I say?

“Okay.” Fergus said, and didn’t ask any more questions. He laughed a little bit and I thought I heard ‘fairy’ under his breath but I didn’t say anything. When I was in this time before and pregnant with the twins, many people called me the fairy woman. Maybe I got used to it?

When we got to his school he hugged me and kissed my cheek, then whispered in my ear, “You’re majick, even if you don’t want to be.” He went to school happily, having the conversation finished to his pleasure.

I drove out of the school wondering if he was right. Surely not. Everything had a reason, a logical way to explain it and a purpose. I went to the grocery store and saw a notice pinned on the billboard by the medicines. 

“Help wanted. Assistant to Dr. Alice. Pay is low.”

I took the paper off the billboard. I loved Dr. Alice; she washed everything often and was very kind and respectful. Jamie and Murtagh were keeping the cash flow coming with their lessons, so maybe I could volunteer?

I took the groceries home and started to unload them but the house was empty. I walked out back and saw Jamie trying to mend the chicken coop with Faith, Brianna and Alex with him. I couldn’t help myself; I laughed. I walked over and he saw me coming.

“Maybe ye could buy another one of the bairn cages?” He asked and kissed me after he picked Faith up so she didn’t take off.

“I already have one ordered. One that Miss Brianna won’t be able to get out of.” I looked at her when I said it. Jamie took the children in for me and carried the groceries to the kitchen.

“I know Flora is off today but what happened to Lily?” I asked Jamie.

“Her sister is nay feeling well.” He said. Jamie went back outside to get the coop mended and I slid the bolt on the door that was at about five feet high. We were trying our best to keep our young magicians in check. 

At about eleven when we hadn’t seen or heard from Murtagh Jamie took Faith to school while I laid down with the twins. I only slept about thirty minutes and was up eating when Jamie got back home.

“Why are ye nay sleeping Sassenach?” Jamie asked as he kissed me.

“I did for a little bit, I’m hungry.” I said and when he leaned in for another kiss I put a piece of ham in my mouth. The blackguard kissed me anyway and took my ham.

“Hey!” I said. Jamie was laughing so hard he bent over. He got another piece of ham and put it on my plate still laughing. I didn’t see what was so funny.

Violet and a crying Ben arrived in the late afternoon, and Murtagh and Faith an hour later. Apparently Ben was crying most of the night so they had to take turns sleeping. They seemed a little tired still, but very happy.

We were all outside in the evening playing games and enjoying the warm spring air. Violet and I were talking about what to plant and watching the children. Faith and Brianna were both walking but Alex preferred to crawl. Brianna would walk a few steps then sit down and look around to scope out the new landscape. We had old blankets on the grass and I was holding Ben. He was content with me. Jamie and Murtagh had gone to put the livestock up so when Faith wandered too close to the road I handed Ben to Violet and went to chase Faith back.

“Momma, the big fireflies are over there.” Faith said.

“Alright, then I will go with you.” I said and motioned to Violet. She nodded her head so I took Faith’s hand and we left the dooryard and crossed the road. We caught and released a few fireflies then crossed back into the dooryard just as an automobile was driving up the road.

Faith went to tell the twins about the fireflies she’d caught and I was going to take Ben back because he was crying when the auto slowed down and pulled to just inside the dooryard.

A man got out and walked up to with astonishment in his eyes. I was surprised also. His hair was as red as Jamie’s and he stood six feet tall.

“Claire Fraser?” He asked.

“Why?” I replied warily.

“Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser, Born October 20th 1918 in London?” The man said. He had an excited look about him.

I turned a little and yelled as loud as I could, “Jamie! Murtagh!” and then turned back to look at him.

“Who are you?” I asked. The man was too close to me, just too close. Somewhere behind me I heard Jamie and Murtagh’s voice.

“I am Murtagh James Fraser McKeag, your grandson.” He said. At least I thought that was what I said. I couldn’t hold myself upright anymore and my head felt so heavy. I had a brief thought that I heard pounding footsteps but I heard nothing else.

Murtagh James Fraser McKeag caught his Grandmother. As expected Jamie was at Claire’s side the second after she went down with a dirk in his hand.

“You will unhand my wife before we have to cut your pretty face.” Jamie said. Young Murtagh felt the point of his namesake’s blade in his back.

“I’m letting go, I’m backing up.” Young Murtagh said and tried to not have an expression on his face. He was told they would be intense but this was real and not coming from his Father or in any of the letters.

Violet walked over and Murtagh took Ben who calmed down.

“Is that Ben?” Young Murtagh said before realizing he should be quiet until Claire came too. She would be more kind and they would be more wary, he knew that from all he had been told and read. When Murtagh held up his dirk, young Murtagh realized he could hold a blade and a baby.

I opened my eyes on the grass with Jamie and Violet looking at me. I drank a sip of wine and sat up; yep, the man was still there. 

“He said he is our Grandson.” I said to no one in particular as I stared at him. Violet asked if he had any way of proving who he was and he pulled out a driver's license dated 2018 from the state of Massachutes. There was his name ‘Murtagh James Fraser McKeag’ in small print. I handed it to Jamie as it seemed like we were passing it around.

“Let’s go inside.” I said and held my hand out for Jamie to help me up. Murtagh carried Ben and Alex, Violet carried Brianna, Faith walked, Jamie carried me even though I insisted I could walk. Murtagh James Fraser McKeag carried our bag of snacks and the old blankets. He kept looking around and everyone kept an eye on him.

He seemed interested in Faith and I saw he was staring.

After I was up the steps Jamie put me down. We had our visitor sit while we put our children to sleep, then the five of us sat on the table.

“Who are your parents?” I asked. We were sitting at the table but no one had said anything.

“Daniel Edward McKeag and Faith Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser McKeag. My Aunt is Briana Ellen Julia Fraser and,” He paused here, “Brian James Alexander Murtagh is my uncle.” He said and took a sip of the whiskey they’d given him and he almost choked.

“Two things,” Jamie said, “Wee Faith doesna have a middle name.” Jamie said. He knew his bairns were getting baptized next sunday but he and Claire hadn’t talked about Faith’s name. 

Claire got up and went to the little roll top desk she had that was by the door to the library. Jamie and Murtagh were planning to move it tomorrow morning. She brought a piece of paper back to Jamie that had her to-do list on it. Claire pointed to the top and Jamie read,

_ “Ask Jamie about christening Faith, Faith Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser, so she will carry on my name” _

“That is fine Sassenach, verre bonny.” Jamie said.

Young Murtagh saw the paper and tried not to smile. “And the second thing?” he said.

“Why would a grandson of mine not be able to drink whiskey?” Jamie said and stared at young Murtagh.

In answer, young Murtagh took a sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to Jamie. He pointed to a specific paragraph. Claire leaned into Jamie to read it,

_ “Da especially, but maybe Murtqagh too will wonder why you don’t drink. Explain it as best you can and pray they believe you. Try to get Mom in the conversation; she is a doctor and can back up what you say. _

_ Most of all, be as honest as you can without telling them the future. Da and Murtagh can spot a lie a mile away. Show them the pictures, take some more, and remember everything.” _

“I didn’t see who the letter was from.” I said, hoping he would show me again.

“You’re not supposed too.” Young Murtagh said and he looked sorry.

I sighed with disappointment.

“Alright, why dinna ye drink?” Jamie asked.

“Because alcohol isn’t good for you, it hurts your stomach and can ruin your liver.” Young Murtagh said and Jamie laughed a bit and looked at me. I nodded.

“Most importantly though, my wife is pregnant and we are giving up drinking together. I took a sip not because I didn’t know what you would do if I didn’t.” Young Murtagh explained.

“Okay, can we go back to the way you said Brian’s name-” I said.

“I know, I’m sorry, I ken you call him Alex.” Young Murtagh said.

I didn’t say anything but I noticed he had paused and I wondered if I would lose a son. Young Murtagh pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. It was a copy of his family tree but only filled out to the present.

“I have this, here are your parents sir,” and young Murtagh pointed out his great Grandparents.

Jamie looked at him and looked at the paper and saw his hand shaking. “Are ye afraid of me lad?” Jamie asked.

“Of course, yes sir, both of you.” Young Murtagh said and looked at Jamie and Murtagh. Jamie smiled a little bit but both he and Murtagh were silent.

It proved too much. Young Murtagh jumped up and stuffed the paper back in his pocket. “I’m sorry I bothered ye good folks, my brother might be right, I might be an eejit for trying this, I nay meant to cause such a -, I will be on my way.” He said and stood up clumsily.

I stood up. “Young Murtagh, please sit down. You came for a reason and I for one would like to hear what it is please.” I said and pulled his chair back.

He looked to Jamie and Murtagh and they both nodded. Young Murtagh smiled and sat down.

“Thank you Mam.” He said.

“Claire, please call me Claire. My oldest child is Fergus and he is twelve. I cannot conceive of being a grandmother right now.” I said. “Can you please tell us why you are here, and where you came from?” I finished and patted his hand.

Young Murtagh took a breath and started to explain himself.

“Tomorrow Ahote is going to come to tell you that you have to go back to Grandda’s time, huh, Jamie’s, and try to be seen. Ian has been taken to prison because the redcoats think they are hiding you and the redcoats don’t stop. Ian will get taken to the tollbooth and he will get a wasting disease and he will slowly and painfully die from it. He-” Young Murtagh stopped here because Claire was crying and Jamie was looking at him with eyes that told him to stop. Jamie was holding Claire, Murtagh got up and walked outside.

Claire got herself together, always a little angry at herself for letting hormones get the best of her. She called for Murtagh and assured Jamie she was fine. Violet was sitting silently sipping on whiskey and seemed in awe of the conversation entirely.

“Okay, go back to why you are here, and please remember we know these people ye are speakin of.” Jamie said.

“I’m sorry G-Claire and Sir. Ian passes and it causes … terrible weight. Ahote is coming tomorrow for Master Raymond, they want to help you change it because if it stands as it may, It changes you, things, forever.” Young Murtagh said. “If you can change things Ian, very likely, will die at the same time but he will not suffer for years.” He said. Young Murtagh offers, and Jamie nods his consent, then pours his whiskey in Jamie’s glass. He got up then and got water instead. 

Tears were pouring down my face thinking of Ian suffering for years. “You came to warn us of Ahote coming?” I asked.

“Nay.” Young Murtagh takes a breath, “I came because while you and, and Jamie are gone, M-Murtagh and G-Mrs-” Ahote said, stumbling over his words.

“Call me Violet dear.” Violet said and smiled at him.

“Thank you,” Young Murtagh said and smiled in relief, “Murtagh and Violet care for the children. I ken ye have two house staff also. It is no one’s fault but the twins catch influenza and, and, and Brian dies from it.” He said and I saw a tear come down his cheek.

“Nay.” Murtagh stood up and pointed at what was apparently his namesake. “Nay, ye are a liar. I would never allow any harm to come to one of these bairns.” Murtagh grabs young Murtagh by the collar. Jamie gets up and gets them apart.

“I’m sorry, but it is true, and it was no one's fault.” Young Murtagh said and produced a large picture of the graveyard out back and handed it to me. This picture was different though; Ian was in a different place and there was a gravestone with a picture of a baby on it. I read the name on the baby gravestone, “Brian James Alexander- No, I won’t finish that name.” I said and handed the photograph to Murtagh as Jamie had been looking at it with me. Another tear fell just thinking I might lose my baby and Jamie wiped it away and sat with his own thoughts.

Murtagh had finished looking at the picture and looked at the young man. He really looked at him now, from his red hair to his odd shoes. “Ye must have an idea to stop this? Is this why ye came?” Murtagh said.

Young Murtagh got up and said awkwardly, “I do, I have to get some things from my car.” He said and left the house and returned with three odd looking duffle bags and a very interesting backpack. He went back and brought in more bags. 

He put two bags on the table and everyone sat back. “Okay, this we will use to keep fluids and electrolytes in the bairns.” He pulled out packets and packets of powder. I picked up one and read it.

“This would be wonderful for sick children.” I said, somewhat impressed in spite of myself. Young Murtagh pulled out item after item and I was more and more impressed. 

“This is our best weapon.” He said holding up a small box full of twenty or so smaller boxes. He pulled one out and gave me one of the smaller boxes.

“For the Flu? It’s curable?” I asked with immense relief.

“Not exactly, but it does shorten the life of the flu considerably. Only the elderly die of the flu in my time. Children's tylenol and ibuprofen to bring down the fevers, medicines to treat the symptoms,” he said and waved at the boxes that filled the counter, “And I need to take the Xofluza -an antiviral, Tamiflu and Relenza down to a children’s dose. I have Baloxavir marboxil, but that might be overkill.” Young Murtagh said and saw the faces looking at him, “Too much. It might be too much.” He said and stepped back for the group to examine his treasure that will hopefully keep Brian alive.

"Antiviral..." I said and looked at the box.

“These say only for people over 12 years?” I said, in the form of a question.

“Yes, there is nothing that I could get my hands on that is given to children. I’m sorry, I thought I had-” Young Murtagh was saying but I cut him off.

“Are you a doctor?” I asked.

“Nay, but my Mother was.” He said.

We all caught the word was and stared at him.

“My Mother did something miraculous, she was a genius and found a cure for something that will help hundreds of thousands of people all around the world.” He said. His voice got louder and I saw the pride. “ She got on a plane to come back to Scotland to share her news, and go back to you, but I didn't come right away because I had to get my family ready to travel. I have a wife and four bairns of my own.” Young Murtagh said between tears that are flowing down his cheeks and Violet hands him a handkerchief. “The plane goes down and there are no survivors. Mom must be stopped from getting on that plane.” His tears are still coming down his cheeks faster now and he gasps for air as thick sobs come from him.

Jamie pats his back and seems a little surprised at the display. “Alright man, alright, how long ago did this happen?” Jamie asked.

“Five weeks.” Young Murtagh answered and we suddenly understood his fresh sobs. Jamie and Murtagh both have him and young Murtagh is slowly getting control of himself.

“We can change this’” I suddenly said in a loud voice to get everyone’s attention. 

“Wh-what?” Young Murtagh said and looked at me.

“We can change this, you have given us the information we need and the tools to get through this. We need some rest now.” I announced. I wanted him to have something to look forward to and be able to count on; he was so distraught. 

“Aye,” Young Murtagh said and took a breath to help stop his tears, “Aye.” he said stronger.

We got everything put away and young Murtagh into a room of his own with all his bags. As the four of us walked away I saw Murtagh look at Jamie and Jamie gave a look of undecidedness, but then shook his head no. We said goodnight and went to our own room.

“How can you not believe the man?” I asked Jamie.

“I nay said I didna believe him!” Jamie said. Indignant to be misunderstood.

“Then what was all that with Murtagh in the hall?” I asked and did my best imitation. Jamie laughed and then I laughed too. 

“That was a question of trust, should we guard the lad.” Jamie said.

“Oh, sorry.” I said.

“Ahemm mmm” Jamie made the scottish noise in his throat.

“Where do you think he was raised? Scotland?” I asked.

“Aye, and somewhere else. His Scottish accent seemed to come out when he was nervous.” Jamie said and undressed.

I had my own clothes off and put a nightgown on that reminded me of my shift.

“Sassenach, do ye think he is telling the truth? I think he is but he was so upset about his mother. There was something else there.” Jamie said.

“Maybe guilt? He did say he wasn’t with her because he had to get his family ready to travel. I think he is telling the truth. We will see if Ahote turns up tomorrow.” I said.

Jamie and I got into bed and he held me. We both lay there with our eyes open thinking about the turn of events this evening.

When my eyelids finally felt heavy I heard Murtagh singing in a low voice an old Scottish song to Ben. I drifted off to sleep and dreamt about the first time I heard that song; in a pub with Jamie and all the men on our rent collection trip.


	31. Will there be travel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,
> 
> I apologize for the delay, there was technical difficulties 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Tuesday April 11, 1950

Lallybroch

Jamie was gone when I woke up. I was determined to embrace our grandson, even if it worried me that our line would be time travelers. I thought about it a lot overnight and Iwas excited to talk to him about the medicines he’d brought. When I was going to the kitchen I saw the front door was open. I went to the door and saw Jamie and Ahote sitting on the steps; each had a cup of coffee in their hands. I didn’t know what to think. Jamie was sitting on the front steps drinking coffee with a man that by his very presence confirmed our grandson's story. They were drinking coffee like this was any other day but this day was going to change our lives one way or another. I stood at the door trying to let it sink in that what young Murtagh said was true. 

Sunday had been Easter Sunday and we’d had such a nice day. I felt like I could tackle the world on Sunday. Right now I wanted to go crawl back into bed.

“Hello Claire.” Ahote said without turning around.

“Good morning.” I said. I stood for another minute, then went to shower.

After my shower I came into the kitchen and Fergus was awake and at the table. He was reading a book, like usual.

“Fergus, put the book down please.” I said.

“Yes, Mother?” He said looking at me oddly.

“Someone arrived yesterday-” I said.

“Is he the man sleeping next to Murtagh’s room?” Fergus asked. 

“Yes, I guess you’ve already seen him. He is a traveler, like us.” I said and Fergus looked at me.

“Who is he?” Fergus asked and took a bite of toast.

“He is, he claims to be our grandson.” I said and took a breath, “He said he is here to help.”

“Help what?” Fergus said.

“Alex, we think.” I said. I told him we would have more information tonight and to have a good day at school.

Jamie and Fergus left to go to school but when they went down the steps he saw Ahote. Fergus stood for a minute and stared at him.

“Hello.” Fergus said warily.

“Hello.” Ahote said back to him and bowed his head.

“Have you come to take us back? I thought we had more time.” Fergus said. I knew he loved school and would miss it terribly.

“I have not come to take you back.” Ahote answered. Fergus nodded and left with Jamie. It struck me that Fergus hadn’t asked why Ahote was here. 

Murtagh came out of his room and stood beside me looking out the door. “Well, now we ken it wasna a clipe.” He said. Murtagh squeezed my hand and went to the bathroom to shower.

I took breakfast to Ahote and asked if he wanted to come in. Ahote thanked me for the food and said he would come in when it was time to talk. I nodded, glad he was alright to wait. I didn’t want to start any conversations without Jamie. 

I got the twins and Faith up and fed. Alex and Briana were in their high chairs and I stared at Alex. How could I lose my son to influenza? In my mind I saw my babies sick and I felt like screaming. I became aware of someone talking to me.

“Wh-What?” I said.

“I was talking about Ben, Claire. Would ye take a look at him? I dinna ken why he fusses so much.” Violet said.

I stood up and took Ben in my arms and she let Faith out of her booster seat. Ben stopped fussing when I held him but I listened to his breathing, checked his throat and didn’t see anything. I watched Ben for a few minutes and saw him twist his head and grimace.

“Violet, you’re right, I think it’s his ears.” I said trying to see as much as I could.

“Do you have a doctor for him yet?” I asked.

“Nay, I haven’t thought-” She said but I cut her off.

“Take him to Dr. Alice, she will see him. I’m going today, you can go with me.” I said and Violet nodded.

Lily was off today but Flora was supposed to come. Violet called off with the Reverend today and promised to explain herself later. Murtagh got the replacement to work for him today.

Violet, Ben and I went to my appointment with Dr. Alice.

The doctor was slightly out of sorts with the change of patient, but since I was feeling very well I was perfectly fine with missing an appointment. Ben needed it more than me. He did have an ear infection and a slight fever. We thanked Dr. Alice, paid for our appointment and left. I still had the advertisement Dr. Alice had put up in the grocery store asking for help. I still wanted to apply to work with her but with a possible trip upcoming I didn’t think now was the right time. I shook my head because I didn’t want to think about going through those stones again; I didn’t want to think about leaving my children for weeks, months. I briefly thought of years but I stopped. 

We got home and Murtagh was just trying to put the twins down, but I took over so he could take Faith to school. Ahote was still sitting outside. I brought him a sandwich and a glass of lemonade and he thanked me. After the twins were asleep I tried to sleep but there was no way I could even keep my eyes closed. 

The Reverend came over for dinner. Violet had asked if it was alright for him to come over and we all agreed his opinion would be valuable. When the Reverend arrived he sat outside and spoke with Ahote.

The children were fed first then Flora took the twins and Faith on a walk. Jamie and I agreed that Fergus had a right to stay.

Ahote and the Reverend came in for dinner and things started right away. When he came inside and we started to introduce him to young Murtagh when I realized I had no idea how to introduce them. I didn’t have to though. On the way to the table they ran into each other.

“Excuse me-” Young Murtagh started but Ahote cut him off.

“You’re a traveler.” Ahote said and it wasn’t a question.

“Yes…” Young Murtagh said.

“Who are you? Where did you come from?” Ahote asked quickly and took a step back to stare at young Murtagh.

“I am, Murtagh, they,” He nodded to Jamie, Murtagh and I, “ are calling me young Murtagh. I am Faith’s second son.” Young Murtagh said and Ahote seemed to get agitated.

“Why did you come? What is going on? Where did you come through?” Ahote asked quickly.

“I came for my own reason, to help my family, I came through in England.” Young Murtagh said and his head raised. There were both tall men but young Murtagh was just a bit taller.

“Enough,” I said, “Both of you wash, so you can sit down and we can eat.” What was the harm in telling Ahote, I wondered. I looked at Jamie and he shrugged. He didn’t know either.

Thankfully the Reverend had all the right questions to ask during dinner so it didn’t feel awkward. Conversation skills during awkward dinners must be taught to Reverends and Priests.

After the plates were cleared the Reverend got us started, “Ahote, can you tell us why you are here?” 

Ahote looked at young Murtagh and he obviously didn’t trust him, but he spoke openly anyway. “I am here to let Jamie and Claire know that Ian is getting taken away from Lallybroch by the Redcoats. It will continue and it will cause problems for Ian and Jenny. Master Raymond said a good way for this to stop was for you two,” Ahote nodded to Jamie and I, “to go back in time and be seen somewhere prominent, like a large party. It may even be possible to get the two of you captured and released. That way you have the time to tell someone of rank that you would never go back to Lallybroch.” Ahote said and looked at the two of us for a reaction.

“What type of problems does it cause for Ian and Jenny?” I asked

“Multiple problems actually. I understand it sounds a little crazy to allow yourself to be captured but Master Raymond plans to stay with you and to help you. If you are at a remote outpost, he could get you out before anything happened.” Ahote said.

“What type of problems does it cause for Ian and Jenny?” I asked again.

Ahote raised his eyebrows. “As I said, multiple. Financial, physical and it hurts the family to be without Ian.” 

“What type of physical problems?” I said, pushing him further. I felt Jamie and Fergus’s eyes on me but I was still staring at Ahote. I wanted young Murtagh’s story confirmed. I had a feeling he was telling the truth and I didn’t want any further doubt.

“Significant.” Ahote said, staring at me. 

“Exactly what is significant?” I said. He was giving us the information; I would drag it from him if I had too.

Ahote stared at me for another moment, but then sighed and he finally told us. “Ian is sent to the tollbooth and comes back with consumption. It takes twelve long years of suffering, but Ian dies from it. Master Raymond wants to offer you the option to take those twelve years of suffering away from him. He will likely die at the same time because that is how fate and destiny work.” Ahote explained all this while staring straight at me.

He finally looked around and said, “You need to know this will cost you a great sacrifice. I don’t know what the sacrifice is, I wasn’t told.” Ahote said and stood up. “It feels different to be here, I do not feel like you trust me.” He said and picked up the thin jacket he brought and put it on. “I will sleep in the barn.”

I was staring at Jamie. This was our choice. We had to choose between letting Ian suffer for twelve years - TWELVE- or face the possibility of losing Alex and not being here to be sure that everything was done to help him. Our son. I stood up.

“No, please, please stay. Please forgive my rudeness. We wanted to hear what you had to say before we said anything because our grandson, young Murtagh,” I nodded at the young man.” Came through and told us yesterday that you were coming and I wanted you to confirm his story, which you have.” I said. I was still standing up looking at Ahote. He gave me the smallest of nods and I gave it back to him.

Ahote sat down and so did I.

“What do you know that I do not?” Ahote asked.

“The sacrifice,” Young Murtagh said the word ‘sacrifice’ very distastefully, “Is the bairn, Alex.” Young Murtagh said and looked like he wanted to hit something.

“Nay, it is not.” Murtagh said. We all looked at him. He and Violet were sitting back from the table a bit holding hands. “The sacrifice is not being here to fight for his life.”

I nodded because I couldn’t speak. Murtagh was right. That was the world; most babies are born and grow to people but some do not. Alex may be one of those that do not. His life isn’t the sacrifice, it is not being here to care for him.

Jamie spoke next and he had been quiet for so long I jumped when he spoke. “What if I go without Claire? I canna bear for Ian to suffer for me and I canna bear to lose a son. I know Claire would do everything possible to save our bairn.” Jamie said to Ahote.

I started to speak but Ahote held up his hand and I was quiet. “You need Claire to travel, I cannot take you through the stones, I don’t have the strength.” Ahote said.

I looked at him in surprise that he couldn’t take someone through the stones. Ahote looked at me and shook his head no. I nodded.

“It’s getting late, Reverend would you like to stay?” I asked.

“Thank you, but no. I have someone sitting with Roger that needs to get home tonight.” The Reverend said and pulled his chair back to stand up.

“Roger? Wakefield, yes! Could I meet him?” Young Murtagh asked.

We all looked at each other around the table. I wondered who was going to ask.

“Now we know that Roger is important to the Fraser family's future. Please think before you say things. Knowing some things before they happen is just not advisable.” Ahote said.

The Reverend stood up, “Young Murtagh, you are welcome to come home with me tonight and meet Roger. I hope you would speak to him as the child he is if you accept my hospitality.” The Reverend said.

“Of course sir, my mistake. I will just put my bag in my car and I can follow you.” Young Murtagh said. 

Violet packed up some leftovers for them and I gave young Murtagh a stern warning about his behavior.

“Yes, Gra-Claire, I will watch what I say. I’m sorry.” Young Murtagh said.

I tried my best to hide my surprise at his apology. “Alright, just watch yourself.” I said and was ready for that to be our goodbye when the boy put a light hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

I heard him whisper, “See you tomorrow Gran.” He turned to go with the Reverend.

Murtagh and Violet went to bed while Jamie and I went to sit on the front porch. Ahote wandered out also and sat on the steps.

“It’s an impossible situation.” I said to no one in particular.

“How does your Grandson plan to help?” Ahote asked.

“He brought medicines from his time that impressed Claire.” Jamie said.

Ahote looked back at me and asked, “Does he have medical knowledge?”

“He denied being in the medical field but he knew what each item was to be used for.” I said, feeling hopeful.

“Did he say what year he was from?” Ahote asked.

“He didn’t say but he has a drivers license dated 2018.” Jamie said.

“Ah,” Ahote said like that explained everything, “He lives in what can be called the information age. Everyone has or can easily get basic medical knowledge.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine medical knowledge being something that was widespread.

“Imagine having a cold or a cough and being able to go to the local grocer or drug store and getting medication that actually help. You can purchase bandages and salve for cuts, medicine to stop diarrhea or stomach upset and a whole list of things. A person only sees their doctor for things that last for many days or acute problems.” Ahote said.

I sat and thought about being about to go into the grocery store and bandages and salves. Now I get a headache and have to lay down after I take BC headache powders.

“That is a nice thought. The medicines are all good? Or is half of available products just whiskey with a different label?” I asked thinking of what was available today.

“There will be strict rules about alcohol content soon. Medicine gets better.” Ahote said.

“I’m glad everyone will learn how to care for themselves at least a bit.” I said and smiled, thinking about Jamie getting cut and putting filthy rags on it to stop the bleeding.

Jamie made the scottish noise in his throat that might’ve meant anything but I took it as agreement. 

I made up the couch for Ahote and we went to bed.

As soon as Jamie closed our bedroom door he quietly said, “I dinna have an answer Sassenach” He sighed and said, “I wish I could go without ye, I could make sure Ian doesna hav’to go through the suffering and ye can keep our bairn well.” Jamie said and sat on the bed.

“I don’t know what to do either.” I said and put my arms around him. I kissed him and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next day Jamie had an answer. 

“Today Sassenach, spend the day with young Murtagh and talk to him about what he would do when the bairns get sick. You will know if he can help them.” Jamie said.

I looked at my highland warrior husband from the eighteenth century. “You are giving me the decision to make?” I asked in disbelief.

“Nay, we will make it together because if we are wrong the consequences are too heavy for one of us to carry. I just want ye to talk to him and get his plan. See if it is sound.” Jamie said.

“What are you going to do with your day?” I asked.

“Talk to Ahote and ask why we have to go now.” Jamie said. I could’ve hit myself in the forehead, of course, couldn’t we go back when the children are well?

“Excellent question, the past will be there!” I said.

“Aye, I will find out what I can but right now I have to get Fergus to school.” Jamie said and he kissed me. I didn’t realize we’d slept so late.

I got up and got my day started. As I was eating breakfast with the twins and Faith, young Murtagh came into the kitchen. He was polite and got his food then sat down and watched Faith.

“She is just a little girl now, she isn’t your mother yet.” I said to young Murtagh in a low voice.

“Aye, I ken, it’s just so amazing to see her this young.” Young Murtagh said, still looking at her. Faith finally caught him staring.

“It’s not polite to stare Charlie.” Faith said.

“This man’s name is Murtagh, we told you Faith, we call him young Murtagh.” I said patiently.

“Nay, it canna be Murtagh, he is nay my Muta.” Faith said. Her brogue got worse when she was upset.

“My mother is going to call me charlie.” Young Murtagh said and instead of being upset he was hard pressed not to laugh.

I got the conversation back around to the medications he brought and young Murtagh was very happy to talk about his supplies.

Flora and Lily came in and one started cooking and one took the children outside to play. Young Murtagh and I went to the library where he could spread everything out.

He went through all the medications that were to control symptoms. He said he brought as much as he did because he didn’t know what symptoms the bairns would have.

“Alright, so these control symptoms of the flu and fever. How did you get these?” I asked.

“These medications are available in any large store.” Young Murtagh said in a low voice. 

We went through everything again and created scenarios. Hours later when I left the library I felt confident he could handle it.

That night, when we went to bed I excitedly told Jamie that young Murtagh would be very helpful if the children became ill. Jamie didn’t have good news. 


	32. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers!
> 
> This chapter is very different. I won't repeat this style because I don't think enough information gets into dialogue, but this was fun.

Wednesday April 12, 1950

And

Wednesday April 13, 1748

Lallybroch

Jenny - “Claire, Claire, are ye there Sister?”

Claire - “Yes, I’m here, we’re here”

Jamie - “Aye, hello”

Ian- “Aye, hello” (This was almost a laugh)

Claire - “How are the children?”

Jenny - “Everyone is alright, we are fine. How is everyone there?”

Jamie - “We are fine too, everyone is well. Fergus studies so much he will be smarter than all of us”

Ian - “Good, we need a smart lad.”

Jamie - “We have some news.”

Jenny - “Twins again?”

Claire - (laughing) “I don’t think so, and I am okay with that.”

Jamie - “Ahote has visited us and told us we can go back to stop something. It would just be Claire and I, we would be leaving Murtagh and Violet with our bairns and Fergus if we go. We don’t know for sure yet, but it’s a possibility”

Ian - “If ye come back will ye be coming here? I can help ye do it safely”

Claire - “Yes, I would be going to Lallybroch first, I could bring you more livestock and, thank you, but we have a plan.”

Jenny - “What? Why?”

Claire - “So you have more food, and more bargaining chips for the English bastards”

Jenny- “Claire, your own countrymen!” (Laughing)

Claire - “I said what I meant and I meant what I said. Besides, I am a proud Scot.”

Ian - “Hear hear!”

Jenny - “If ye come, when will it be?”

Jamie - “We would be passing through the stones on Beltane, we would likely be at Lallybroch three or four days later. Claire is traveling with Master Raymond.”

Jenny - “He gives me a bad turn.”

Jamie - “Aye, me too, but he is helping us.”

Ian - “When will you know for sure?”

Claire - “Soon, we have to decide soon. We are running out of time here and I want to try something, Jenny, put the rock on the floor”

Jenny - “Aye” 

“Claire, it’s an egg!”

Claire - “Is it whole? Does it look right?”

Ian - “Aye lass, it looks just like an egg.”

Claire - “Ok, leave the rock on the floor.”

Jenny - “Aye, it is.” 

“Sister, six more eggs and carrots, it is a funny thing to see food from a rock!”

Claire - “Ahote said it is fine to pass food through the rocks but please check them- “ 

“Who is eating the carrots right now?”

Ian - “Me lass, and they’re braw, very tasty.”

Jamie - “Alright Ian.” (more laughing)

Pause

Claire - “Does it all look alright?”

Jenny - Aye Sister, it looks like a feast! Carrots, potatoes, onions, oranges and a roast! ”

Claire - “Good, can we meet again tomorrow night at nine? I will have more food.”

Jenny - “Aye sister,that would be verre fine!”

Claire - “I love you both, until tomorrow”

And the connection was broken amidst a chorus of Aye’s.   
  


****************************************

Thursday April 13, 1950

And

Thursday April 14, 1748

Lallybroch

Claire - “Jenny, Ian” A minute passed and the rock dulled. Claire took a bite of a sandwich and tried again.

Claire - “Jenny, Ian”

Jenny - “Aye, we’re here, the bairns didna wanna settle.”

Jamie - “Good day?”

Ian - “Aye, I got repairs on the barn finished.”

Claire - “ I have something for you Jenny” 

Jenny - “Oh, fabric, so much of it, what is this for, it’s so light”

Claire - “I thought a summer dress for you maybe, and the girls”

Jenny - “Thank ye kindly sister”

Ian - “Make any choices?”

Jamie - “Aye, we are coming.” 

Jenny - “Ye dinna sound happy”

Claire - “It’s a hard choice because we have to leave the children, and there is a big chance they will get sick.”

Jenny - “Then why are ye coming? Can ye stay there for a while and come later to stop what ye want to stop?”

Jamie - “Nay, we tried that. Time travel is not an exact science, not knowing when the redcoats decided, nay, it has to be Beltane.”

Ian - “Claire, Jamie, are ye sure it’s worth it? Ye’re bairns maybe getting sick…”

Claire - “Yes, we are sure it is worth it... it's the right thing to do. And since we know there may be sickness we can prepare and take precautions”

Jenny - “Alright, if ye’ve made the choice, ye have ye’re reasons.”

Jamie - “Aye, we will explain more when we get there.”

Jenny - “I will hold ye to that explanation brother.”

Claire - “Can I pass some food through?”

Jenny - “Aye, we are alright though, the money you keep giving me has kept us fed. If ye have extra though, we will take it Sister.”

Claire - “Okay, here it comes”

Jenny - “Green beans and venison?”

Claire - “Yes, and asparagus, and muffins and bread”

Ian - “The bread smells good”

Jamie - “We have a cook who makes it”

Claire - “I have a few buttons then I have to close it”

Jenny - (Laughing) “ Thank ye Sister”

Claire - “You’re welcome, can we meet again” but the rest was cut off because the connection ended.

***************************

Friday April 14, 1950

And

Friday April 15, 1748

Lallybroch

Claire - “Jenny, Ian”

Jamie - “Maybe they didna figure out-”

Ian - “Yes, we figured out ye’d want to meet again tonight”

Claire - “Hello”

Jenny - “Hello Sister”

Jamie - “Good, I’m glad ye are here and we can talk”

Ian - “Of course”

Jamie - “Have the redcoats been around lately? Is anything different?”

Ian - “They are in the area, their captain ate with us two days ago. It is much the same, they come and take what isn’t theirs, then leave and come back at their pleasure.”

Jenny - “They look for tartans and weapons now too.”

Jamie - “Can ye wear a kilt at all”

Ian - “ Aye, as long as it is plain.”

Claire - “I’m sorry you are living through that.”

Jenny - “It is a sorry time, but we are not wanted so it is nay so bad.”

Ian - “Claire, do ye have any more of those muffins?”

Claire - “No, but I will Sunday. I have ham today and cheese”

Ian - “That smells mighty fine Claire”

Claire - “ Good, until Sunday.”

Jenny - “Until Sunday Sister”

***********************************

Sunday April 16, 1950

And

Sunday April 17, 1748

Jenny - “Claire, Jamie”

Claire - “Yes, we’re here”

Jamie - “Did ye have a good Sunday?”

Ian - “Aye, we made a picnic outside and watched the bairns play. Young Jamie can climb”

Jenny - “Aye, he can climb, just like his Uncle and Father used to.”

Claire - “I’m glad you had a nice day. Do you need any more money? I found some more yesterday” Clink, Clink Clink

Jenny - “Sister, thank ye for the coins.”

“And the muffins”

Ian- “Definitely the muffins”

“They smell good.”

Jamie - “Is there anything else we can get for you?”

Pause

Jenny - “Blankets, the soldiers have taken almost all our blankets.”

Ian - “Aye, blankets would be helpful. We dinna need them until it’s cold, but we can hide them.”

Claire takes the blanket off their bed and pushes it through the rock.

Jenny - “Thank ye. They dinna need to be so fancy.”

Claire - “We will bring more when we come.”

Jamie - “Are ye well Ian?”

Ian - “Aye, of course, why are ye asking me that?”

Jamie - “Ah, your throat, sounded funny for a minute.”

Jenny - “How is Murtagh and Violet? I canna imagine that old coot marrit.”

Claire - “They are very sweet! I never thought to see it either, but they both seem very happy. Did I tell you about Ben?”

Ian - “Aye, the bairn Violet and Murtagh adopted?”

Claire - “Yes, that’s him. He adores Murtagh, and seeing him with a baby in his arms is surprising but it’s right.”

Jenny - “ I’m glad, he deserves to be happy, he has protected my brother long enough. Is Fergus still reading everything?

Jamie - “Aye, we had another book shipment a few days ago and he walks around reading. I almost forgot what his face looks like I havna seen it in so long.”

Claire - “We have to make him stop reading to go outside and play for a bit.”

Ian - “That’s good, I’ve wondered how he would be. If he becomes a learned man maybe he will have an easier way of it, aye?”

Jamie - “Aye”

Claire - “ I have some more fruit… and we will talk again Wednesday?”

Jenny - “Aye Sister”

*************************************

Tuesday April 18, 1950 and

Tuesday April 19, 1748

Jenny - “Claire, Claire”

Ian - “She canna hear it, we have to send for someone”

Jenny - “No, Claire is the best, she will hear me, CLAIRE!”

Claire - “Jenny… Is that you?”

Jenny - “Aye, Sister, ye have to help me! It’s wee Jamie. He fell out of his chair and hit his head. He’s burning up with fever because his arm is inflamed where he scratched it on a tree last week.”

Claire - “Take a breathe, give me minute”

Claire - “Take this and put the needle in his bottom, then push the top down. It’s penicillin and has to go into fatty tissue”

Jenny - “You’re sure?”

Claire - “Absolutely.”

Jenny - “Alright… it’s done. What’s next?”

Claire - “Crush this and put it in preserves… Get a cold rag on his head to bring him around, then get him to eat the preserves.”

Ian - “We dinna have any”

Claire - “I’m breaking the connection but I will be right back.”

Jamie - “Claire, what do you need that for?”

Claire - “No time, sorry”

Claire - “Jenny, Ian, take this”

Jamie - “Are ye crazy lass? It’s the middle of the day and people are in the house.”

Claire - “Them turn on the radio, wee Jamie is hurt”

Jenny - “I dinna wanna ye not to be safe-”

Ian - “He’s waking up!”

Jenny - “It’s...hard... to...got it, hear lad, eat this.”

Ian - “Thank ye God, ye’re not as warm as ye were.”

Claire - “one hour” sigh.

One Hour Later

Claire - “How is he?”

Jenny - “He’s good, thank ye Sister, can ye reach for this back?”

Claire - “Sure- got it”

Ian - “That’s a mighty fierce thing, but my son is sleeping on the couch with no fever, thank ye”

Claire - “It was-”

Jenny - “Didna say it was nothing Sister, ye saved my wee Jamie, thank ye.”

Claire - “You are welcome of course, but it is what you do for family - anything you can.”

Jenny - “Ye are nay in trouble?”

Claire - “No, it’s fine, some people think I am rehearsing for a play that’s all. Here, you want to crush one pill up and have Jamie take it in the preserves every six hours until tomorrow night.”

Ian - “I don’t think we will need four jars?”

Claire - “No, but it’s mighty good on toast.”

Laughter

Claire - “Until ten tomorrow?”

Ian - “Aye”

**********************

Wednesday April 19, 1950 and

Wednesday April 20, 1748

Lallybroch

  
  


Claire - “Jenny, Ian, how is Jamie?

Jenny - “Ach, he is fine. He chafed about being kept in the house all day.”

Claire - “Here are two more pills, but only use them if his fever returns. I don’t think it will, but in case it does.”

Jamie - “I’m glad my nephew is recovering.”

Ian - “Aye, it was a scary thing Jamie, his arm was inflamed and he fell out of the chair and hit his head.”

Jamie - “Claire told me, we had roofers here patching a hole on the south side.”

Jenny - How is the planning going for your trip back? How many nights do ye think ye can stay with us?”

Claire - “The planning is going well. We hired a seamstress to get ‘period clothes’ it’s called, made for Jamie and I. I was thinking if you both send me some measurements I could get clothes made for you too.

Ian - “That is nice, but we dinna need any-”

Jenny - “Speak for yourself, I will send the measurements. What about shoes? Wee Jamie is growing like a weed.”

Claire - “I will see what I can do!”

Jenny - “I will send ye a tracing of his foot.”

Ian - “How about nails and a hammer?”

Jamie - Aye, I will see what I can do!”

Jenny - “What about your other plans? For the bairns?”

Claire - “We have a good plan. Murtagh is quitting work and Faith is leaving school until we get back. Violet has her daughter to replace her at the manse until we get back, where she works for the Reverend. Our Grandson is here with medications-”

Jenny - “Wait - your Grandon?!”

Jamie - “Aye, we thought we would explain that when we got there, but… Aye, it appears he is our Grandson. He brought proof. Apparently our whole line will be time travelers thanks to Claire.”

Claire - “It’s not my fault, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Jamie - “Aye Sassenach, I was just stating a fact.”

Ian - “Wow, what a thing to pass on.”

Jenny - “Ye’re right, we will need to talk when you get here. Only having eight minutes at a time is frustrating.”


	33. New lads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello wonderful readers!
> 
> I know, it's been a two weeks instead of one since my last chapter but I, like many of us, got busy with the holidays. I hope everyone is doing well and ready for another chapter!
> 
> Just FYI, for anyone unaware, 'chumma' is slang for a kiss.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Claire, can ye come to the library please?” Jamie said as he popped his head around the door. I looked up but he had disappeared.

I got the flashcards together and put them in the little box. I knew neither Flora or Lily approved of trying to get Faith to read early. Feminism had not traveled to Scotland even in this time.

“Flora, would you please take the children outside for some air?” I asked.

“Of course.” Flora said.

I helped to get the children together to go outside and Jamie popped his impatient head around the corner one more time.

“Yes.” I said entering the library. I felt summoned but stopped short seeing Jamie, Violet, Murtagh, and young Murtagh all sitting. Jamie waved me to sit and I did.

“Now that we are all here, I was in town last week getting groceries and I saw children walking all in a line. Older children, and when I inquired-” Jamie said but was cut off.

“They are from the orphanage. Orphaned from the war.” Violet said.

“Aye, that’s what I was told. Now today is Friday the twenty first which means we have only ten more days before Claire and I leave for likely seven weeks and we still don’t have a plan for more help outside the house.” He said and sat down.

“I ken it, we have made inquiries but everyone has their own place to seed.” Murtagh said and looked at Jamie.

“What if we adopt two or three older boys? They could care for the livestock and we could help them get a good start.” Jamie said hopefully and looked around the table.

I had a flashback to asking Frank about adopting orphaned children from the war and him telling me he couldn’t love a child that wasn’t his. It was before I went through the stones. I was going to ask Jamie if he could love a child that wasn’t his but thankfully I stopped myself.

“Adopting children is a lot to take on.” I said to the room in general.

“In the past I know, you didn’t adopt anyone except Fergus.” Young Murtagh said. “I think it is a fine idea.”

“Aye, we could get rooms ready, or” Jamie was gathering speed as he spoke, “They could stay in the cabin if they want and we could give wages to them. They would be older, and likely distrustful so the freedom would help. We need to be upfront from the start though. I think it will work for both us and the lads.” Jamie said. He was so excited; he had been thinking about this for days.

“Aye.” Violet and Murtagh said together and Violet laughed and took Murtagh’s hand.

Jamie looked at me, I hadn’t said anything. I was still so surprised.

“Everyone think about this, pray about this, we will decide tomorrow morning.” Jamie said and knocked the table twice. Murtagh and Violet wandered off. Young Murtagh was reading a book he’d brought.

I was more than a little stunned. I got up, looked at Jamie and we went to our bedroom.

“What is it Claire? I think this is a grand idea; it will help some lads and help us.” Jamie said.

I turned around and surprised him by kissing him. “I suggested adopting an orphan to Frank years ago and he said he could never love a child that wasn’t of his blood. This is happening so fast, I am surprised that’s all, in a good way.” I said and kissed him again.

“So ye are with me?” Jamie asked.

“Of course, yes.” I said and hugged him. “Why do you want to offer them the cabin? I think they would want to stay in the house.” I said.

“They dinna have to stay in the cabin, I thought they might want to, give them some freedom, aye?” Jamie said and I nodded. He looked very content. “I wasna in a position to help anyone after Culloden. I can help people now, after your war.” Jamie said and held me. 

“How can we be parents when we are leaving?” I asked. I thought it was a marvelous idea, but maybe not the right time.

“Well, I think Murtagh and Violet will have to adopt them. But we will look for older boys. They already had parents, they don’t need parents. They need purpose and hope and we can give that. We can give them everything they need and a good start. Isn’t that what they lack? You said a few weeks ago that orphans get too old for the orphanage and they just get put out. We can keep that from happening for a few boys.” Jamie said.

I was touched that my words were so important; maybe he had been thinking about this longer than days. ‘I’m with you Jamie.” I said.

The rest of the day was a normal one and that night we made love slowly and passionately. The morning came and since everyone still felt the same. He had talked to Murtgh and Violet and they were fine being the ones who adopted the boys. Jamie was ready to head out to the orphanage at nine am.

I dressed quickly and made a few quick sandwiches, thinking of food scarcity that was likely in an orphanage. I also grabbed my medical kit, just in case. Then I sat down on the couch in the front room.

“Sassenach, are ye ready?” Jamie asked.

I looked up to see Jamie and Fergus, young Murtagh, Murtagh and Violet all looking at me.

“I don’t think I’m going, but please go ahead.” I said. 

Fergus sat on the couch next to me. “I will wait with you Mere.”

“Fergus, go outside so I can talk to your Mam.” Jamie said and Fergus went outside.

“What is it Sassenach?” Jamie asked as he sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

“Orphanages are usually dirty, awful places. They have to feed many mouths with little money and don’t have adequate cleanliness. I’m sorry Jamie, I don’t want to risk it.” I said. I was firm at the end; I knew we were inviting people into our lives but I wouldn’t risk getting sick. I would meet the boys Jamie chose.

“Ye are right, I’m sorry I didn’t think of that.” Jamie said and stared off into space as if he was trying to figure out how he missed this. 

“How can I make sure you are safe when I get back?” Jamie asked. I stood up and hugged my highlander.

“Just be careful when you are inside, and make sure Fergus is too. Have the boys take showers when they get here.” I said and he nodded.

“I’m sorry-” Jamie started to apologize again but I cut him off.

“Oh my goodness, Jamie love, you didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t even think about it until we were leaving and I’ve fought the wee beasties, as you call germs.” I said and tucked my head under Jamie’s chin.

“Thank ye Claire,” Jamie said and kissed my forehead, “for everything you go through for our children before they are even born.”

“Oh, it’s a lot, and I will need more than a forehead kiss but I can wait until tonight for a proper thank you.” I said with a wide smile, bringing my lips to my husbands.

“Oh, proper it will be.” Jamie said, then he kissed me and sat down bringing me onto his lap and never breaking the kiss. This man had skill.

Some minutes passed, and I heard a continuing, loud forced cough. I broke our kiss and looked up.

“Is one of the children coughing?” I asked, not having heard it thoroughly.   
  


“ Nay, we are waitin’ for ye two to come along, ye ken.” Murtagh said loudly from the porch. We tried not to laugh but Jamie’s ears turned the slightest bit pink. We heard Murtagh walking toward the auto’s saying, “Jamie was gettin’ a chumma before we left.” and then we both giggled. 

I walked out with Jamie and told everyone I wasn’t going. I offered to keep Ben and Violet gave him to me. His ears were still bothering him a little and she didn’t want to leave him but I didn’t want him going to the orphanage.

I handed the money pouch over to Violet as it would be her and Murtagh who would formally adopt the boys. I also gave her the bag of sandwiches and she looked at me strangely.

“In case they are hungry.” I said.

“Ach, aye, of course, good thinking Claire.” Violet said.

“Don’t forget to stop in town on the way home and buy them new clothes and shoes, and more food. Bicycles for them would be a good turn too.” I said, trying to think of everything.

They left and Ben and I sat on the back porch and enjoyed the mild weather for a bit. I walked to my herb garden and saw I needed to weed already. Ben seemed to be tired so the two of us took a nap while Flora and the children had lunch.

When I woke up I knew something had changed. I sat up and saw Jamie’s clothes he had worn this morning in the hamper and Ben was gone. I got up and saw Lily feeding Ben. Jamie was in the shower; young Murtagh was freshly showered.

I sat at the table and Fergus stood up quickly. I must have looked crushed because he quickly said, “Mere, non, Da told me about the germs and I haven't showered yet so I will go to my room.”.

“Fergus, no, please tell us about our new lads.” I said and motioned for him to sit back down but he stayed where he was by the door.

“Weelll,” Fergus started and I thought about how much Scottish slang and pronunciation our French lad was picking up.

“The orphanage was dirty, Lewis Puller is seventeen, his brother Martin is sixteen and the youngest brother is Gordon and he is fifteen. Lewis was about to be whipped when we walked in and Da stopped it!” Fergus said and beamed with pride.

“Good!” I said. I abhorred corporal punishment.

“Martin was in class and I’m going to lend him one of my books. Gordon, they call him Gordy, has trouble breathing.” Fergus finished a little sad.

I stood up. “What do you mean he has trouble breathing?” I said. I was already thinking about common breathing issues and going through my stock of medicine.

“Alright, Fergus, your turn.” Jamie said coming around the corner and Fergus went to shower. “Hi Sassenach.” Jamie leaned into me for a kiss.

“Where are our new additions?” I asked.

“They went with Murtagh and Violet to their house to shower and change, then take the youngest lad to see Dr. Alice for his breathing. He wheezes.” Jamie said then demonstrated the wheezing and looked at me questioningly.

“Yes, that's wheezing.” I said.

Jamie came over to me and touched his forehead to mine. “Dinna fash a leannian ghrinn, we are following your orders and the boys are being cared for.” Jamie said.

“That's a new one I think…” I looked at the ceiling trying to remember all the gailic Jamie was teaching me. “Ghrinn… darling!” I said feeling accomplished. 

“Aye” Jamie said softly and kissed me.

“The sandwiches were a verre good idea, the boys practically ate them whole.” Jamie said and laughed.

“When are they coming back?” I asked.

“Probably tonight,” Jamie said and saw my worried face, “Lass, Murtagh and Violet are the ones the boys will be with first, they need to get to know each other.” Jamie said and I nodded. 

The phone rang and it was Violet checking in on Ben. They would be coming home after they saw Dr. Alice. I heard laughter in the background and I released the rest of my concern.

Fergus got his shower then worked on his homework in the library. Faith, Brianna, Alex and were all still sleeping and Jamie, Ben and I went to our bedroom and pulled out everything we had for our upcoming journey while Lily started dinner for us.

“Do ye think we are ready Sassenach?” Jamie asked.

I looked at everything on the bed and my bag of medication I was taking back to Jenny. 

“Are ye sure we need to bring this extra fabric? It’s from this time and might be an issue.” Jamie had picked up the flowered cotton.

“I think Jenny could make it work, and besides you don’t have to wear the dresses and everything under it in the hot summer.” I said and put it back on the pile.

I looked at the pictures I was bringing and saw Jamie was looking at them too. “I know, they are dangerous. But these are duplicates so after Jenny and Ian see them we can burn them.” I said and Jamie nodded.

A tear escaped and went down my cheek. I wiped it away but Jamie noticed. “It will be okay, dinna fash, they will take care of our children.” Jamie said and held me.

“I can’t stand the thought of being away from them for weeks. I know we can’t let Ian suffer for you but, weeks without knowing how they are, if they are well,” and the last came out through an anguished sob, “If they are alive.” I said and cried for a while.

After some minutes passed Jamie and I had slid to the floor. He was holding me, wiping my tears and whispering Gaelic to me. I took a deep breath and was ready to tell Jamie I couldn’t go, I couldn’t leave our children. I knew what was going to happen to Ian was terrible, but maybe if we could warn them somehow, maybe it could be avoided anyway. I couldn’t leave my babies and my sweet Fergus.

Then I saw it. The rock; the rock I used so we could talk to Jenny and Ian. I could leave that rock here with Violet and Fergus and borrow Jenny’s for a while. I could use it to talk to them and if something was wrong I could come home immediately.

I explained this idea to Jamie and he thought it was a great idea to reassure us the children were fine. As soon as Jamie agreed I went to get Fergus and brought him to our room.

“I see you are preparing for your trip Mere.” Fergus said blandly. He didn’t want us to go either.

“Fergus,” I held onto Jamie’s arm and the three of us sat on the floor so we could talk quietly. “You know I can use this rock to talk to Jenny and Ian right?” I asked to be sure the basics were understood.

Fergus looked at me and had a little smile. I was reminded of how many times he called me magic and I smiled. “Oui Mere, of course, I have seen you send things through a rock and talk through it.” He said. He still had the little smile.

I smiled back and gave him a shrug. Maybe, maybe I was magic. He nodded. Jamie was watching the back and forth but he didn’t say anything.

“Here is my question, when we go through I can borrow Jenny’s rock and use it to talk to you, will you talk with us?” I asked and held my breath.

“Of course Mere, I will hold on to your rock and talk to you through it. Why do you not ask Ms. Violet or Murtagh?” Fergus asked.

I sighed. I didn’t know how to explain my doubt that I would get the whole truth. I was afraid Murtagh and Violet would try to spare our feelings.

“Because you are our son, our oldest son and we trust you above everyone. We will need the truth, do not try to spare our feelings.” Jamie said. Fergus sat a little taller and his shoulders seemed a little wider.

“Aye, Mere, Da, you can trust me.” Fergus said but looked a little confused.

“What is it son?” Jamie asked.

“It’s only… what if something happens, what if one of us gets sick?” Fergus asked.

“I will come back.” I said. I sounded confident. Jamie looked at me.

“I thought we could only go through the stones on certain days.” Fergus said.

“If you are sick, or Faith, or Brianna, or Alex, if any of my children are sick I am coming back to care for you and I will find a way to get through that damned rock.” I said. There’s that confidence again.

Fergus hugged me and whispered in my ear, “I believe you Mere, you just have to use your magic.” Then he kissed my cheek and left the room.

Jamie didn’t say anything and that was good. He looked at me and I looked back at him and silently dared him to contradict me. He pulled me to him and kissed me passionately.

After a few minutes I broke the kiss and said, “Now we are ready.”

*****

Murtagh, Violet and the Puller boys made it in time for dinner. Lewis was tall and looked strong, Martin had the same height and strength, but Gordon looked young and small for his age. They were polite and very hungry.

They were very eager to see the cabin so Jamie and Fergus showed them after dinner and the Puller lads loved it and wanted to live out there. Even though they had to warm the water for bathing and keep a fire for heat. Jamie was right; they wanted their freedom.

Murtagh, Violet and Ben went to bed early. Jamie and I packed two carts full of food and supplies they would need at the cabin. I went with them to see if anything triggered Gordon’s wheezing but he was fine.

Jamie had twine and material and he was marking the trees. This was so the boys could find the way back to the house in the morning.

Martin and Gordon planned to sleep on the bed and Lewis on the couch. Jamie helped them bring in plenty of firewood and showed them how to heat the water for a shower. 

“Sir, you don’t expect anything from us but to work in the barn and help with the crops?” Martin asked.

Jamie sat next to me on the couch. The boys were already sitting on the bed. 

“Lads, I know ye dinna trust me, and I understand. I promise ye, we only want ye’re help, ye’re honesty. In exchange ye will have plenty of food and ye’re own place. If ye want to add onto it we can do that this summer after I’m back.” Jamie said. 

“If you change your mind and want to sleep in the house, that’s fine too!” I said and they laughed.

I took out some money from my pocket and handed it to Lewis. 

“What is this for?” Lewis asked.

“Murtagh said you talked about running away, and while I want you three to stay you need to understand you have control now. We need your help, and I hope you stay.” I said.

Jamie gave them the keys to the cabin and they were beaming when we left.

They didn’t leave. The next morning they were on the back porch waiting for breakfast.

****************

We all went to church on Sunday and saw the Reverend. Lewis thought Catholics having a friend who was a Protestant minister was funny.

Lewis and Martin were constantly hungry and ate all they could. Gordon was more cautious and I started to wonder if he had stomach issues.

On our way home the boys asked to be let out by their cabin and Jamie let them out, reminding Lewis about their driving lesson after dinner. We wanted to be sure there was another driver just in case. I made my mind up and got out of the car.

“Gordon, wait up.” I said.

“Yes Mam.” Gordon said and bowed his head. Whenever they acted meek I wanted to punch someone at that orphanage. They were teen boys; they should be running wild and acting disrespectful.

“Claire, please call me Claire.” I said and smiled. Gordon met my eyes and smiled back at me.

“Gordon, I was wondering if your stomach pained you?” I asked him. He looked at me oddly. His brothers were only a few steps away and they looked at me.

“You don’t seem to have the strong appetite of your brothers, I was just wondering if I could help.” I said.

“Oh, no, my wame is fine. At the orphanage all I got was thin soup to eat.” He said like that explained everything.

“Why?” I asked.

Lewis stepped up and answered. “They said Gordy would likely die any day so they wouldn’t waste good food on him. They only ever gave me bread and milk for nie on two years because they said I would wind up in jail. Martin got good food and he shared it with us.” Lewis said and nodded to me.

I was somehow able to speak. “If you need anything overnight remember the key is to the back door of the house.” I said. A chorus of ‘Aye’s’ answered me.

I got in the car, turned to Jamie and he said, “Aye, I heard Sassenach. I will write the governor tomorrow for Murtagh.” He said and I could see the whites of his knuckles on the steering wheel.

***************

The next few days passed quickly. On Monday Jamie went to the grocery after dropping Fergus off at school and bought plenty of supplies. That day we made forty sandwiches and I cut twenty oranges in half and wrapped up the halves. Lewis and Jamie went to the orphanage and passed out the food. That night in bed he told me he is not able to adopt forty boys, but he would be damned if a lad in his city said he only ate bread and milk for years ever again.

Tuesday Murtagh and Martin lit a charcoal grill in the front yard of the orphanage and made hot dogs for all the boys. They passed out soda pops and saw the boys smile.

I was proud of what they were doing. I didn’t worry about the money because my Uncle Lamb had left me so much. On Wednesday Jamie was going to take a day off.

“Why, I thought you were doing amazing work!” I said.

“Well, I dinna have too many more sword fighting lessons before we go and I want to be sure we leave Murtagh and Violet with enough money.” Jamie said.

“Love, look at me.” I said and waited for him to look. “My Uncle Lamb left me a lot of money and more than half of it is still left. Feeding neglected boys is a wonderful thing to do with that money.” I told Jamie.

So Wednesday the boys of the orphanage had spaghetti and sauce with giant meatballs they all tried to cram in their mouths whole. It was a funny story. I hadn’t gone myself yet as there was news of the flu in Inverness.

I was spending as much time as possible with the children. Fergus played with Lewis, Martin and Gordon in the dooryard quite a bit and Jamie and I loved to see it. They were rowdy and loud and I bought them different kinds of balls to add to the fun. 

This led them to explaining American football to Jamie, Fergus and Murtagh on a bright afternoon. Violet and I sat on the steps with the children and tried not to laugh out loud watching them try to play.

The last Saturday we were in 1950 for a while Jamie and I took the children on a picnic and we were gone for five and a half hours. Fergus brought a book because he thought it might be boring or maybe because he just always has a book now. He never opened it. We played and ate and played and ate. It was a glorious time. Monday was the first of May and we would be leaving that night. On our way back I was able to speak to Fergus.

“Fergus, are you still alright with talking to me through the rock?” I asked. I wanted to be sure I would know what was going on with my children.

“Aye Mere, every night between nine and ten, as early as you can get to me. And I tell you the whole truth through your magic rock, I remember.” He said and we walked.

I stopped and looked at him through watery eyes. “One of the best days of our life was when you came into it.” I said. He’d stopped with me and looked seriously at me. Jamie was ahead of us but he’d stopped and looked back at us. The twins were in a stroller Jamie was pushing and Faith was trying to keep up with her Da.

“I know Mere, mine too.” Fergus said and took my hand and we went to the car.

That night, as I was getting ready for bed I was trying not to cry. I planned to talk to Jamie and get his promise that we’d try our best to be home on the June solstice. When I got to the bedroom, Jamie was the one with tears on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Sassenach.” Jamie said and looked away.

“No,” I said and put a hand on his cheek to make him look at me, “I’m sorry. I’ve been tied in knots knowing I would be leaving the children and I didn’t realize you felt the same.” I said and tried to put my forehead on his as was our usual first step in calming each other. But Jamie drew back and looked at me.

“Ye didna think I would have a hard time leaving Fergus? Ye didna think I would have a hard time leaving our bairns? Our Faith who you pulled from rock? Our twins that I first held when they were born, bringing life to my cave. Do ye think I am a monster?” Jamie asked.

“No, that’s not it. I thought you just saw the rightness of making sure Ian didn’t suffer for you.” I said. “I would never think you were cold.” I said and he allowed me to put my forehead to his.

“Good, because it is tearing my insides out. We are leaving our bairns in good hands, but I am still eaten up with it.” Jamie said growling the last bit in my ear.

Jamie bit my earlobe and took my mouth in a searing kiss. I tried to match Jamie’s strength and passion but I barely kept up. After a few minutes he had me naked on the bed.

“Claire, I am hurting and I can nay be gentle. If it be too much-” He said, sweating and looking at the cleft between my legs.

“I can handle my husband.” I said and stroked his hair.

A second later his month was on me. He hand a finger inside me and spread me wide to find that little nubbin with his mouth. He stubbornly set up camp between my legs and had me writhing and begging for him to enter me. My release came twice before I heard him tear his clothes then he was inside me. My highlander was rock hard and seated himself in me as far as he could. I gasped and Jamie held me to him as if we were one person. I think somewhere in our lovemaking I actually fainted.

He was wild and in need that night and I woke bruised and bit. I didn’t mind; Jamie was the love of my life and I would take what he had to give, but I was sore the next morning. 

*****

The Puller boys were settling in well and they worked in the barn with Murtagh and Jamie very well. Jamie was confident they would work out and they’d promised they would stay until we returned. Lewis turned eighteen in mid June and they wanted to leave afterwards, but they were very nice to have at the house and Murtagh said they treated the animals well. Martin was amazed at the sword fighting lessons and Jamie and Murtagh agreed to teach him.

On Monday May first I woke up very early. Faith was awake and standing next to me, speaking.

“Momma, can we watch the sun rise?” She asked me.

I almost told her to lay down with me. I have never been an early riser, but this day was different and I got up.

“Let’s go honey.” I said.

I pulled on some clothes that Jamie had thrown off me the night before and followed Faith down the hall.

“Can we get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast?” Faith asked.

I nodded but due to timing just took the supplies with us. We went to the little hill behind the house where we had a good view of the sun rise and Faith handed me a pair of my sunglasses and she put the other pair on.

I made sandwiches and she sat in my lap as we ate and watched the sunrise in silence. This was one of those things...you love your children but they have all these wonderful qualities that you like about them too. I liked this about Faith; she didn’t fill every second. Brianna and Alex were younger but it was usually a constant stream of babble because they were learning to talk.

After the sun was up Faith wiped her hands in the dirt just as her Father would. She turned halfway around so she could look at me.

“Ye and Da are going through the stones.” She said. It wasn’t really a question, she knew. I decided not to tell her the truth.

“Yes, we are going today.” I said.

“Aye, beltane.” She said and nodded. “Keep my Daddy safe, okay Momma? The stones are a terrible place to live.” Faith said quietly.

I hugged her. “Of course I will. I will miss you my girl!” I said and we stayed like that until Jamie found us there ten minutes later. Faith climbed on his lap and I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

We went back to the house and the twins were awake. Jamie and I both walked in the nursery and the both said, “Mommy up” over and over.

“I’ll get Brianna.” I said. Not that I loved Alex any less, but when his diaper was changed if he had to go again he could spray that three feet in the air. I knew I would be potty training when we returned.

Fergus was out of school for the summer. Their year was a little short but a lot of farmers' families sent their sons there and they were needed. Fergus had an extensive packet about work he would need to do over the summer and Fergus didn’t mind. He was actually glad his learning would continue.

There was a small beltane festival we found a little north of us and the six of us went. Murtagh and Violet stayed because she had see to the Reverend's house and Murtqgh took care of Ben. Normally I would offer to keep Ben so Murtagh could go with us. I think he knew it too. When we were leaving I looked at him and I looked at Ben. He’d told me it was fine, he had some reading to catch up on and to go have fun with my family. I told him he was my family too. He’d walked me out and told me it was fine and he understood we needed to soak up enough memories to last for some weeks. Young Murtagh didn’t want to come either. He was always reading or writing. I got the sense that he was trying to remain, at least a little, detached. Maybe he didn’t want to change history, except keeping his uncle alive. I think Ahoye had talked to him and dampened his exuberance for us and for the time period. 

Ahote had come back two days ago. He was sleeping in the woods; we offered him a room but he refused it. Murtagh said he was probably up to all sorts of things. Jamie had looked away because he was smiling.

The fair was fun and the kids loved it. We came home with little toys and games and a bag full of candy. Jamie had asked her for a piece and she had given him the bag and told him to take it to her cousin. Jamie had looked at me with shock in his eyes and I was the one to shrug my shoulders this time. Faith was like a little force of nature; you took her as she was and no one could influence her. Fergus was an amazing big brother to her.

The dreaded time had come. The children were in bed except for Fergus who insisted on staying up to be awake if his siblings needed him since Murtagh and Violet would be driving us. Flora was spending the night and she thought they were dropping us off for a night train.

“Claire, ye must let the lad go.” Jamie said to me as I was hugging Fergus.

“No.” I muttered into Fergus’s shoulder and he tightened his hold on me.

But I did have to let go and we left. As I got in the car I turned to see Fergus in the window waving at me. I waved back and tried to smile through my tears.

“Murtagh and Violet will care for them as if they were their own, Young Murtagh is here with medicines from the future. I know in my heart they will be okay.” Jamie said to me.

“I know, it doesn’t make it easier to leave them for weeks.” I said.

“I keep telling myself they will be safe and I have to go make sure the other part of our family will be safe.” Jamie said.

I turned to look at him. That was an amazing way to look at it and completely honest.

I nodded and got in the car.


	34. Pleasant Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers,
> 
> I'm going to warn you know -> Any vegetarians may not approve of this chapter, but I was trying to stay practical. It was a 'what would they have done then' question. If it was a question for our time it would be very different.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

To my surprise Ahote was in the car. I thought he was meeting us there. Young Murtagh was also here but I knew he wanted to see us go through. I nodded at Ahote and he nodded back at me. 

I was sitting between Jamie and young Murtagh and I held both their hands.

“I will do everything to keep your children well.” Young Murtagh said.

“Ye willna need to lad, I will protect the children with my life.” Murtagh said from the front seat.

I looked at young Murtagh and nodded. He had proven himself and I trusted him. 

The ride to the stones was slow in the dark but it didn’t feel slow. All too soon we arrived and Jamie and I were standing behind the open trunk to change into our eighteenth century clothing. He had wanted to wear his kilt but knew it was a bad idea so he wore breaks and his boots that he loved. Jamie helped me with my layers and then we were ready.

I hugged Violet first and wasn’t able to say anything but she smiled and nodded back at me. I hugged Murtagh who looked uncomfortable.. I kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear that I trusted him with those beings most precious to me. He whispered back to me ‘Aye, me too a nighean’ and I thought about all Murtagh and Jamie meant to each other. I hugged young Murtagh and he held me tight. I wondered if I would get to meet this man as a lad, but I didn’t have time to wonder that now.

We had a toast to a safe trip and I had half a dram since I was pregnant. In a flash Jamie and I were holding hands at the traveling rock. Jamie carried four of the satchels we made but I only carried one. The rock called to me so loudly, it felt like the rock was screaming. Young Murtagh heard it, he covered his ears and took a few steps back. Ahote heard it too, but he was mostly still. We stood at the rock and Jamie looked at me. We kissed and Jamie nodded that he was ready. So many nods tonight. I might become an expert at them the same way I have learned to decode the Scottish shrug and the Scottish noise that comes from a throat. My dress was being pulled into the rock like there was a wind blowing it. Jamie had a ring on that carried a stone and I had a necklace.

Ahote told us it was midnight and stepped in front of us and just as he’d done before. He slit a rabbit’s neck and sprayed the blood on the stone. He looked very regal in his native garb and I knew he was going to a different time right after we left. He stepped back and I stepped into the loud stone holding onto Jamie who stepped into it right behind me.

There was immediate chaos and I was getting pulled on from every which way. I yelled stop, then returned to thinking about the date we needed to reach. A second later Jamie and I and five bags tumbled out of the rock onto the ground. 

-Jamie’s POV-

In my mind I had begun to think of the trip through the stones like a trip through purgatory. When we stepped in the stones I realized I had underestimated it. It was immediate screaming and pulling and chaos and darkness. Claire yelled to stop and a small white light came from her hands, then we were out of the rock falling into grass. It’s the most terrible thing ye can imagine, then it’s over.

I got to my hands and knees, then jumped up to vomit in the bushes. 

“Sassenach” I called. In my rush to empty my stomach I hadn't seen her.

“Claire!” I called a little louder but still a loud whisper. I didn’t know for sure what time we were in and who was in the area. I knew she’s been successful getting us somewhere for sure because all the noise of her time was gone. I could see smoke from the little abandoned cabin that didn’t exist in her time either. Smoke. People.

It was pitch black but I got on my hands and knees and started looking for my wife. I was used to the electric lights and my eyes hadn’t yet adjusted from the flashlights Violet and Young Murtagh carried up the hill.

A foot! I found my Sassenach on the ground much closer to the stone than where I had landed. I picked her up and sat back down with her on my lap.

“Sassenach! Wake up my love” I said and kissed her cheek and her forehead. She didna rouse so I shook her a bit at the shoulders.

“Madonna” Some called near us. I didna call back at first because I didna know who it was calling. “Madonna, it’s Raymond.” He called again.

I stood up and said, “We are here.” I still had an unconscious Claire in my arms.

“Oh dear, get her away from the stone, bring her to the cabin.” Raymond said and started picking up our bags. I took them from him and carried the bags and Claire to the cabin. I sat her near the fire and put the bag that had fabric in it under her head.

“She is breathing, can ye help her?” I asked the little frog man. He wasn’t my favorite person but he knew many things I did not. I would not choose his company but it was because I was uncomfortable, not that anything was wrong with Raymond.

“May I examine her?” Raymond asked. I stepped back and he checked her pulse, her temperature, her eyes and her throat.

“She seems fine- but-” Raymond raised his voice when I was going to interrupt to ask him why my wife was still unconscious if she was fine. “Did she go through the preparations? Did she eat a lot of meat in the last few weeks before you traveled?” He asked me.

I looked at my Sassenach’s ghostly white face. “No, fish and red meat still made her nauseous, she ate a lot of fruit and vegetables.” I said and might’ve kicked my own arse. We forgot that she needed extra protein before traveling.

“She has likely just fainted from anemia then. She was anemic when she was pregnant with little Faith” Raymond said and before I could ask him what I could do for her he got up and left. 

I kept speaking to Claire, and touching her. I wanted her to come around as soon as possible, I needed her. It felt like I was without my heart for hours but it was likely only a few that minutes passed.

Then she grasped my hand as I ran it down her arm. “Jamie” I heard her whisper.

“I am here Sassenach, come back to me my love.” I said and stroked her face again.

After another few seconds Claire opened her eyes and looked at me. She tried to sit up. “Wait, please, just take it slow.” I said.

“Where are we?” She whispered hoarsely. 

I got the flask with juice in it and gave her some. “I love this juice.” She whispered after she took a drink and I smiled. I knew this was her favorite and since she didna want to drink spirits on account of the bairn I packed it for her.

She cleared her throat a bit and sat up to look around. “This is that little cabin by the stones, right?” Claire asked me.

“Aye, your Master Raymond is here. I carried ye here then he looked at ye. We forgot the meat Sassenach.” I said.

“I didn’t forget, but I couldn’t keep it down.” Claire said and I gave her a look of disapproval. She shrugged at me and I almost smiled. 

The door swung open and I had my dirk in one hand and my sword in the other. It was Raymond.

“Peace lad! The redcoats passed this way three days ago and do not plan to be back for weeks.” Raymond said. He had a canvas bag that was bloody. Claire gagged.

“Go to that side.” Raymond said pointing at the other corner.

I picked up Claire and arranged her by the other fireplace. It was out but I lit it and had a small fire going. It wasn’t very cold outside but Claire tended to run cold.

Raymond came over to us and sat down. “Hello Madonna, I am glad to see you made it through again. Why didn’t you eat the meat you needed to make it safer?” Raymond asked.

“Hello Master Raymond.” Claire said and smiled at the little frogman then touched his arm . “I couldn’t keep it down. I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables and I thought it might be alright.”

“You must cover the protein in some manner. I can make something with protein in it but it will taste like something else. Do you want to try?” He asked.

Claire nodded, “Yes, I would be happy to try it. Thank you.” She said and they smiled at each other.

“Are ye okay Sassenach, truly?” I asked. 

“Yes, just tired.” She told me.

“I will be right back.” I said. I walked over to where Raymond was to see what he was doing.

“Did ye just kill an animal?” I asked, seeing him cut pieces on the wood table.

“Yes, I did. Claire needs protein and red meat is the fastest way.” Raymond looked up and laughed a bit.

“What is funny?” I asked, feeling a little tense.

“Nothing, but there is a time where we can get protein from powder. In another time I might be making her a shake.” He said and laughed a little again. “Will you please build up the fire a bit so I can cook this?”

“Aye” I said and built the fire up. Raymond refused any help so I went to sit with Claire. She had her eyes closed and I sat next to her and rubbed her temple like she had asked me to before. I closed my eyes for just a second and then Raymond was trying to wake me.

“Here is the meat, please take a bite.” Raymond said and I looked at him. He sighed and took a bite himself, then I took a bite. It tasted like good meat, it was safe to give Claire. Then he took some powder and sprinkled it over every piece of the meat and took a bite himself.

“Hmm, toll house chocolate chip cookies.” He said.

I took a piece and closed my eyes as I tasted the cookies that only my Mother made. They were the most wonderful cookies I had ever tasted though it had been many years since I had eaten one.

“How do ye do that?” I asked. 

“Science.” He said and left us to eat. 

I looked at the plate full of meat. “Claire, wake up, ye have to eat.” I said.

She sat up and opened her eyes. I fed her a bite of the meat. “Cotton candy!” She exclaimed. “My Uncle Lamb would take me to any festivals or fairs in the area when we traveled and this is cotton candy.” She said and ate a good portion of the meat. I didn’t tell her about Raymonds cookies or my Mother’s cookies; that could wait. She was still so pale and I was worrit.

Claire grabbed my hand and held it to her stomach and I held my breath. I felt a tiny little movement, more like a quiver. ‘He’s alright Jamie, he’s alright.” She said and closed her eyes. 

Raymond had told me we should sleep as much as we could so I got our bedroll and we slept right there by the fire. I pulled Claire close to me, put a blanket over us and my arm around her. I slept well until I felt Claire moving and sat up with my dirk in my hand.

“Jamie, it’s fine, I have to go pee.” She said.

“Okay Sassenach, let’s go.” I said. She looked at me funny but we were back in my time and I didn’t trust the woods were scoundrel free. 

We went outside and I held her skirts with one hand and my dirk in the other. Claire was still a little wobbly but seemed much better. She finished and used one of the little soaps she brought with some water to wash.

The sun was just coming up and we noticed how many animals were around. Not forest animals but cows, chickens and pigs and then we remembered the animals we were bringing Jenny and Ian. We went in the little cabin and I was determined to be nice and respectful to Raymond. He was still asleep but Claire tilted her head like she could hear something. I tried but didn’t hear anything.

“Raymond, Raymond,” Claire said, trying to wake the little man.

“Yes Madonna” He said sleepily sitting up and rubbing his face.

“The stone, do you have one, I can hear my children.” Claire said, almost pleading.

I looked at her; I still heard nothing. Maybe she’s hit her head?

“Yes, I thought you would want it.” Raymond said and reached down into his bag and brought a rock similar to the one we’d left with Fergus.

“Thank you!” Claire said and kissed his forehead. I was wondering why I couldn’t hear my bairns if Claire could. 

Claire ran over to me with the stone.

-back to Claire’s POV-

I was ecstatic that I didn’t have to wait until we got to Lallybroch. Jamie was looking at me strangely but I didn’t really care right now. I took his hand and walked back to where our bedroll was and sat down.

I held the rock in both my hands and willed it to open. I saw Jamie’s face light up when the rock lit. Maybe he could only hear through it when it was lit?

“Fergus.” I called softly. I heard him and Faith talking.

A door slammed then “Mere! Are you and Da alright? Are you safe?” Fergus asked.

“Aye” Jamie said almost laughing and I saw a silent tear roll down his cheek. “We are fine, we are safe and whole and in the right time, Master Raymond is here to help us too.”

“Fergus, how are you, what are you doing today? Is Faith with you?” I asked.

“Yes Momma, I am here.” Faith yelled so loud I almost dropped the rock.

“There is no need to yell mon cher, just talk like they are sitting next to you.” Fergus told her and we heard the tiny ‘yes frere’. A door opened and closed and I heard Murtagh.

“Are they safe, did they arrive at the right place?” Murtagh asked.

“Yes, Murtagh, we are safe and in the right place.” I said.

“Aye, dinna fash, we are fine. How is everything there?” Jamie asked.

“Claire, ye truly are a fairy, ye have my thanks, and Jamie, a dhia, you’ve been gone less than eight hours. It’s fine except for the house being awake at seven in the morning. Fergus and Faith are reading together and Vi is doing flashcards with the twins. She has an idea to surprise you a nighean by teaching the twins to learn to say their colors. Wele, I just told ye that one. Wee Ben is in my arms. I am glad ye both are safe.” Murtagh said and he walked out.

Fergus was laughing. “Is he mad Momma?’ I heard Faith ask.

“No, not really, it’s just his way, it will be fine.’ I said. Fergus asked about seeing a school friend at the movies later today and I told him that was a wonderful idea if transportation could be arranged. I was very glad I had taken everyone to the movies already so he would be more prepared.

All too soon our time was over and I had to close the rock. We planned a meeting for this evening when Fergus returned from the movies and I told him around nine but the truth was I could hear him anyway. I didn’t tell him that.

I closed the rock and looked at Jamie. A moment passed.

“Fourteen minutes. You held it open for fourteen minutes.” Raymond said and stared at Claire for a moment. Then he turned around and went outside. I leaned against Jamie and we sat that way for a few minutes just thinking about our family in 1950. We had a household that seemed to just grow and I was proud thinking about the Puller boys and Fergus, Jamie and Murtagh playing in the dooryard. 

Master Raymond came in and I got up to talk to my old friend but he had a giant piece of meat and I gagged.

“I’m sorry, we really appreciate you helping us.” I said as I opened the door for fresh air.

“It is alright Madonna, Jamie would you please build up the fire so I may cook us breakfast.” Raymond said.

“Aye” Jamie said and went to the fireplace. I watched Jamie for a few minutes; he was so good at lighting fires and I was always impressed at his speed. He was good at so many things.

“How’ve ye been since France Raymond?” Jamie asked. I was a little surprised because I knew Jamie wasn’t comfortable with Raymond. I stayed at the door smelling all the wildflowers that were coming up so quickly.

“Thank you for asking. I have been alright, just very busy.” Raymond said.

“What do you do when you are not running an apothecary or racing through time?” I asked.

“Oh, I long for the days when I may run an apothecary. I help travelers as best I can, I try to change the things I can, I interfere in small ways.” Raymond said and smiled at me.

He handed meat to Jamie to cook and washed his hands.

“Have you been practicing with your blue healing crystal?” Raymond asked me.

“I have but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I cannot get any better.” I said, a little disappointed.

“It takes time, experience and patience. Stay with it Madonna.” Raymond said. “Uh, may I?” He asked and pointed to the ever enlarging area of my abdomen. I nodded.

“Oh, energetic little guy eh Madonna?” Raymond said laughing a bit.

“Yes, very.” I said.

Soon our meal was ready. We had beef(mine still tasted like cotton candy) muffins and strawberries that I’d packed. The meal was good and when we were finished Jamie and I sat next to Raymond.

“What is the plan Raymond? Je suis pret.” Jamie said and I was very proud at that moment. I’m not sure why, maybe just because Jamie said the Fraser Clan motto. 

“I need to tell you something that will happen.” Raymond said and looked at both of us. He got up and moved away from Jamie a little bit.

“I’m nay going to like this eh?” Jamie asked.

“On the contrary, in the end you will like it very much, we just have to get to the part you like.” Raymond said and grimaced.

I took Raymond’s hand and squeezed it. He squeezed it back before he let go of it.

“Redcoats are not in this area. There will be redcoats on the way to Lallybroch because they are going to Inverness. The only way I have to avoid this is a portal.” Raymond said and took a breath.

“Is the portal like what you did for us when I poisoned Randell?” I asked. 

“Yes Madonna, that is exactly it. As you know but Jamie doesn’t. It feels like you are going through the rocks again.” Raymond paused here and Jamie swore under his breath in gaelic. “I have it all set up and I would like to travel through at midnight tonight.” Raymond said and took a drink from his flask.

“Here is the maybe problem. Jamie, I am sure you have noticed your scars on your back are less and your memories of Randell are fuzzy.” Raymond said.

“Aye, I dinna remember the second flogging at all, but I know it happened. Also Wentworth is very different.” Jamie said.

“Ah yes, that is because Claire wounded Randell so much as to change him. History does not record him as the sadistic bastard he was. Randell was unable to flog you the second time, he was unable to be, as, well as vigorous at Wentworth. Several other situations with Scots went with a lighter experience or none at all from him.” Raymond said. He looked down at his flask.

“Aye, good, thank ye Claire.” Jamie said.

“What else? Why didn’t he die?” I asked.

“Ah yes, well he vomited the poison in enough time to not die. The goal was achieved at any rate.” Raymond said. He looked up into Jamie’s eyes. “I’m sure you know what happened during your second flogging, even if you were unconscious.” Raymond said, hinting of something more. A few seconds passed.  
  


“Your Father.” I said standing up.

“My Father.” Jamie said at the same time, also standing.

I made the calm down motion. “Is Brian alive Raymond.” I asked.

“Yes and no. He is in the veil, just as little Faith was when the reason for her death was gone. Black Jack never raped Fergus, so Jamie never had the duel with him but Faith was in the veil and you Madonna had to bring her out.” Raymond said.

“So Claire has to pull my Da out?” Jamie said, getting excited. Then looked at me and his excitement faded.

“Yes.” Raymond said and looked at me.

“Then I need more food.” I said. Raymond got up to get things started. Jamie went to help him and I stepped outside for air.

We would need to go through the chaos again to get home. I sat down in a patch of heather and flowers and I thought back to when I got Faith. I think I yelled for quiet… or yelled something. I didn’t even recall. Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! It was hard enough to find my child, how will I find a man I’d never met?

“Sassenach.” Jamie called quietly as he opened the cabin door. I held up an arm so he would see me. He walked over and sat behind me and gathered me to him. I nuzzled close to him and sigh.

“Are ye missing the bairns?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, and I’m scared that I may not be able to pull your Father out.” I almost whispered.

Jamie hugged me tighter. “Ye will be fine, and if ye can nay, maybe we can pull him out next time we go through.” Jamie said.

I got up and looked at him. “You know what it’s like for ten seconds as we pass through. Your Father has been there for years.” I said.

Raymond was coming behind us and he cleared his throat. “That’s not entirely true. He has been in somewhere different until Jamie passed through. Blood called to blood. So he will only have been there for twenty four hours.” Raymond said. Twenty four hours sounded like it was a short enough time one could recover.

“Where has he been?” Jamie asked.

“I don’t know, I only know he wasn’t in the veil until you went through.” Raymond replied.

“If blood calls to blood, why canna I get him?” Jamie asked.

“It is Madonna’s gift, I do not make the rules.” Raymond.

“Why didn’t you get him out?” I asked Raymond.

“I can create extensions, that is how we will reach Lallybroch tonight, but I can't pull someone out.” Raymond said.

I swung to look at Raymond; that surprised me. He looked at me and nodded. “We all have our different gifts Madonna.” He said.

Jamie cleared his throat. “Raymond, when we went through Claire’s hand seemed to have a light coming from them, Do ye know why?” Jamie asked.

“Light? What?” I asked.

“Ah, Madonna, ye must try to not do that.” Raymond said.

“I didn’t even know I did, so how can I stop something I don’t realize I’m doing?” I asked, getting frustrated.

“It is because you are a healer. The souls in the void can be whole and fine, or they can be broken things left for centuries. Healing them will take a lot of energy.” Raymond said.

“How do I stop?” I asked.

“I don’t know, as I said-” Raymond said but I cut him off.

“We all have our separate gifts. I have to figure it out for myself.” I said.

“There is more beef ready and I already powdered your’s Claire.” Raymond said.

That was how the day went. Sleep, wake, eat, repeat. By nightfall I was feeling better; talking to everyone back home really lifted my spirits. Fergus enjoyed the movie and time spent with friends; Faith ‘read’ me a story, and Violet told me about Murtagh, Fergus and the Puller boys playing in the dooryard. I reached my hand through and touched Fergus’s cheek and Faith gave me an apple ‘for the new bairn’. 

Jamie and I napped. Raymond fell asleep again but he was up way before we were. Time moves so fast when you want it to go slow.

“Madonna, Jamie, it’s time.” I heard Raymond say but I didn’t want to open my eyes; I was warm and safe in Jamie’s arms and I had sweet dreams of the children. Eventually I got up and we got our things together quickly. We really hadn’t unpacked much.

When I stood up I started to go outside and Raymond yelled to stop. I froze.

“The portal is by the door Madonna, go out the back door and go around, please hurry.” Raymond said. Now that I was really looking out the door I saw him pushing cows and chickens through the portal. I almost laughed to see him pushing a pig.

I realized I was wasting time and took Jamie’s hand and we went out the back door and ran to the front. I looked to Raymond and he said, “I will see you on the other side.”

Jamie held me tighter and we stepped in.


	35. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers!
> 
> I want to apologize for not replying to everyone's comments but I got behind with the holiday. I will get to you.
> 
> I hope everyone is happy, healthy and safe.
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than normal, mostly because the next chapter is longer than normal. New questions will come up but I hope to have them answered in the next two chapters.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I was racking my brain. When I went through with Raymond it hadn’t seemed too bad; how do I make it easier to pass?

Jamie and I were almost instantly at the other side and I saw the Lallybroch dooryard. Jenny and Ian were standing amongst so many animals I think I laughed. I couldn’t look for Brian with Jamie; it was so much easier to ferry one person at a time. I knew I had to look for Brian alone and that my husband wouldn’t like it one bit. 

I went almost to the edge and released Jamie’s hand so he stepped out then I went backwards and he yelled for me.

**Jamie’s POV**

We made it. It was the end. I stepped out and turned to Claire but she was going backwards.

“Claire!” I yelled over and over again trying to get back in the portal. I couldn’t get in and I couldn’t see Claire.

“Jamie, Jamie man, it is so good to see you!” Jenny yelled as soon as she was able to make her way to him through all the animals.

“Aye Janet, but Claire didn’t come out.” I said.

There was cow after cow, then a couple goats, then more damned chickens that kept coming out. After another full minute Raymond came out of the portal driving a team of horses pulling a wagon and surprised us all.

The portal was starting to close and I yelled to Raymond, “Claire isn’t through yet!”

“Madonna?” Raymond asked, then looked around the crowded dooryard. It was like he thought I missed her coming through.

Raymond ran back to the portal and started using powder and something that shined a bright light, he was trying to keep it open I realized. He was doing something on the ground and I fought my way through the animals to get to him and tried to watch to see if I could help.

“He already drew it on the ground, he told us this was how ye’d get here.” Ian yelled to me through the noise. I would remember this for later and wonder how Jenny and Ian had responded to Raymond drawing something on the ground in the dooryard and telling them Claire and I would come out.

I was sweating now and really afraid. Claire had not come out and I was realizing there was nothing I could do to help her. I looked at Jenny who seemed to be almost as worrit as I.

In another few seconds three people stepped out of the portal with ropes around them. Then I saw it wasn’t ropes but some kind of light. When they fell on the ground I saw it was my Da, Claire and a stranger.

“Claire!” I said and she sat up.

“I’m alright, just spent.” Claire said and tried to stand up but fell back on her bottom. I picked her up and held her. Raymond offered my Da a hand. I looked at Jenny and Ian and they were obviously in shock. Raymond hadn’t told them Da would be coming.

“Thank ye sir, does the angel go back?” Da said. 

“The angel Da?” I asked. He nodded to Claire.

“No Sir, the angel, as you call her is your Son’s wife.” Raymond said.

The stranger was coming around and he looked at us. He was a young lad, maybe sixteen years old.

“Who are ye? Where am I” He asked.

“My name is Jenny, who are ye?” Jenny asked.

Da went over to the lad and put his arm around his shoulders. “This is Stephen, he was killed by Black Jack. Could ye help us with these animals and my daughter Janet will make ye a bed in the barn.” Da said.

Raymond came over to Claire and raised his eyebrows. “Another life wasted by that bastard.” Claire whispered back.

It took some doing but we got all the new animals safely put away for the night and Raymond decided to stay with Stephen in the barn so they could talk.

Claire and Jenny were sitting on the steps waiting for us. They were talking and holding hands. We got inside and Jenny had rabbit stew on the fire for us. I dished out bowls and gave Claire a bowl first. 

“I love Jenny’s rabbit stew.” She said and drained the bowl. She didn’t realize her hands were still glowing until she put the bowl down.

My Da was in the dining room and I could hear Ian and Jenny in the kitchen. I got up to talk to Jenny but stopped when I saw my Da get on his knees in front of Claire and asked if she was an angel of the Lord.

“No, No Sir, I am not. I am just a regular woman.” She said. Claire stood up and held her hands out to help him up. Her hands were still glowing when Da put his hands in hers. Da had a few cuts on his arms and face and they healed right in front of us. Claire turned three shades of red and put her hands in her pockets. Jenny and Ian and Raymond were at the door and saw it all. Raymond chuckled and came in to get food for Stephen and himself. Ian and Jenny were still standing mouth agape.

“Janet, Ian, sit down and close yer mouth before ye collect bugs in yer trap.” My Da said and he took a place next to Claire, not at the head of the table as he would normally.

“I will start our saga and give our fair couple time to catch their breath,.” Raymond said and he started the story of who he was and what he did. He went on to explain how he tried to make small changes and knew Black Jack was a task he had to take on. Raymond told them we’d traveled through the stones and were living safely in 1950.

“So, ye can travel, though stones a’mac.” Da asked me.

“Nay Da, this is my wife, Claire, she can travel.” I said.

“And take passengers which is not an easy tack.” Raymond said. Jenny gave Raymond a tray to carry the food on and added a few pieces of bread. Raymond said goodnight and Ian helped him out the door.

Claire looked at me and I saw how tired she was. “Jenny, where can we sleep?” I asked.

Jenny had us in our old room and Claire and I said goodnight. Claire took three steps and got wobbly, so I picked her up and we went to bed. Claire was asleep when I lay her on our bed. I took her clothes off and striped down to my shirt then got into bed and held her close. Her bottom was lined up with my cock and she wiggled a bit then went to sleep. I had a cockstand to wish away so I went to sleep much later.

We both slept soundly all night and I was the first to wake in the morning. Claire was lightly snoring and her hair was everywhere. I wanted to wake her with kisses but I knew she needed to sleep. She was so beautiful.

I dressed quietly and went downstairs. I thought about seeing if I could get a few rabbits but Jenny was up and sitting at the table.

“Is Claire asleep?” Jenny asked.

“Aye.” I said. She obviously had something on her mind so I sat down and took a bannock to eat.

“What is she? How did she bring Da from the dead? Did she take him from Heaven, from his rest?” Jenny asked, growing louder with each word.

“Nay Jenny, stop it. You know who she is, you know what she is, there is nothing new.” I said.

Jenny stood up and said, “Our Da back from the dead would say that is not true.” and Jenny left the room.

I had no reply. When Raymond explained the reason for death being gone and Da being available to come back to the living it seemed logical. Looking at it through Jenny’s eyes I understood it was less than logical.

I went outside with every intention of going to the barn to talk to Raymond when I saw my Da. He was walking towards the graves and I followed him.

He saw my Mothers grave and he ran his hand over the top. He bowed his head and I knew he was praying. When he lifted his head I said, “Good morning Da.”

“Good morning son. How is your angel wife?” Da asked. I heard someone behind me and knew without looking it was Jenny.

“I left her sleeping. She doesn’t enjoy the mornings, and she is not an angel, just a woman.” I said.

“A woman that can’t sew.” Jenny said, finally reaching me. Jenny was looking in the distance, likely remembering when they had first established that fact and smiled.

“Are ye going to list the faults of the woman that saved me?” Da asked Jenny. Jenny took a step back.

“Da, it is a wee joke between Claire and Jenny and Claire would laugh at too. She would say that she can-” I said but Jenny cut me off.

“Only sew skin.” Jenny finished and smiled as she looked at me.

“I thought my last son had died, but he lived. I thought I died, but was left in some place worse than purgatory. That woman saved me from staying in that mess so ye two dinna mind that I choose not to laugh at her.” Da said and turned back around to his wife’s grave.

I nodded to Jenny and we walked back to the house. We didn’t talk until we got to the barn and saw Raymond and Stephen laughing.

“Hello Frasers!” Raymond said. I looked up and Stephen nodded at us. He seemed in a much better mood today. 

“Hallo Raymond, did ye sleep well?” I asked him and nodded back to Stephen.

“Oh yes, very well. May we come in for breakfast?” Raymond replied.

“Yes, please. Mrs. Crook was going to lay it out then go to the nursery.” Jenny said. We four walked to the house and I saw that Da was making his way down the hill.

Raymond, Stephen, Jenny and Ian, Da and I were sitting at the table waiting on breakfast. I thought about waking Claire but I could get her food anytime; I didna want to disturb her rest.

The food was passed around the table in silence. Da kept looking at the empty place next to me but he didn’t say anything.

“Raymond, perhaps you could explain things a little more?” I asked.

“Where is Claire?” Da said loudly.

“I’m on my way.” I heard her say from somewhere in the house. I stood up and went to find her.

When I did I crushed her to me in a hug.

“What was that for? Sleeping late?” Claire asked with a smile.

“It is tense at the table, I’m sorry Sassenach.” I said.

She took a breath, “I thought it might be. Big things have happened.” Claire said and hugged me back. “Let’s go, I’m hungry.”

We went into the dining room and Stephen and Da both stood as Claire approached the table.

“Good morning Claire.” Ian said and Claire returned the sentiment.

Stephen and Da sat when Claire did and I filled her plate. She noticed Da and Stephen staring at her. She looked at Raymond who was looking at her too and gave a little jerk of her head that I didn’t understand but Raymond did because he started speaking.

“I’m sure everyone has questions. Jenny, Ian, I apologize for not telling you about the possibility of your Father coming back when I drew the portal window. I saw your Father a few weeks ago when I went through and I realized what must’ve happened.” Raymond started and then took a drink of milk.

“A few weeks ago, I thought he was only in the veil for a day?” I asked and Claire nodded. 

“I… lied. I did not want Claire to be discouraged. Your Father has been in the veil ever since Black Jack was poisoned. He’s been there ever since the reason for his death was gone. Ever since Claire poisoned Black Jack.” Raymond said.

“Lass, ye poisoned that bastard?” My Da asked.

“Yes sir.” She said.

“Good, good, I’m glad.” Da said and patted her hand. “So Jamie was never flogged?” He asked Raymond.

“He received the first hundred. History has recorded that you sir, received the pardon from the Duke of Argyll and Jamie was released.” Raymond said and waited for that to sink in.

Jenny and Claire both looked at me. “I am nay a wanted man?” I asked.

“Not for that, but for fighting at Culloden” Raymond said.

“There is nay a price on my head?” I asked again to be clear.

“No, but you are wanted, just as Murtagh is wanted for fighting against the English.” Raymond said.

“Sir, how are you feeling?” Claire asked my Da.

“First lass, dinna call me sir. Ye are my new daughter so call me Da. How many grandchildren do I have?” Da said and looked at Jenny and I.

“Uh, wee Jamie, Maggie, Kitty…” Jenny said.

“Fergus, Faith, Brianna and Alex. His name is really Brian.” I told him. Da looked in the distance and smiled.

“Ye’re Mam would be so proud.” Da said.

“So, back to the explanation,” Raymond said and looked at me. “When history is changed and it is the reason for a person’s death, then that person is no longer dead. If you can, it is a good idea to save them from the veil. This is where Madonna comes in; she can get people out.” Raymond said and took another drink of milk. I noticed Claire and Raymond were the only ones drinking milk and smiled.

“That is why I am here then. That… Randell killed me for refusing… him and if he couldn’t...offer that I would nay be killed.” Stephen said slowly.

“Aye lad, I know what Randell was, in the timeline before it was changed he offered the same to me and when I refused I got another one hundred lashes.” I told the boy. He was so young and I was trying to make him feel more comfortable.

We finished breakfast and Da, Jenny and Ian went to the living room because the children were coming downstairs. Da wanted to meet his grandchildren. Stephen, Raymond, Claire and I, went outside.

“I will be taking young Stephen here home now.” Raymond said and Stephen smiled. Raymond reached into his bag and gave Claire two glass jars. “The light colored is to put on meat to change the taste, and the dark is in case your Father experiences the effects of time change.” Raymond said and patted Claire’s hand.

“When will ye return?” I asked.

Raymond looked at Stephen who shrugged. “In a few days, maybe a week. We will see.” Raymond said and smiled. “I will return.”

Claire and I sat on the steps and saw the stable hands already had his wagon ready. I guessed he was traveling the regular way then and waved to them as they left.

“Stephen looked happy to be going home.” Claire said.

“Do ye blame him? It is not too calm here, and he is young, I can see how he would be missing his home. I hope his parents are still alive.” I said and Claire looked at me.

“I hadn’t thought of that.” She said and looked in the distance, like she was checking.

“Da reprimanded Jenny and I this morning for saying ye canna sew.” I told her and put my arm around her to draw her closer.

Claire snuggled into me and said, “Why? It’s the truth.”

“I think he may hold ye in some esteem for saving him.” I told her and smelled her hair.

“Then at least he will be easier to win over than Jenny was.” She said and we both laughed.


	36. Shenanigins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I wrote the last chapter and this chapter together but separated it due to the length.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Side note - Does everyone remember Nayawenne?

After lunch I gave Jenny and Ian the livestock receipts. It appeared they were bought by Jared in France and shipped over as a gift. It didn’t matter why they had them, just that it looked legitimate. They had the animals, they could prove they belonged to Lallybroch, and they could eat them or bribe the redcoats. Jamie and I were happy.

Brian, Ian and Jamie went to check on the livestock and I stayed with Jenny after lunch. 

I was desperately tired but after lunch I went to the living room and played with my nieces. Jenny decided to try and teach me to knit and I actually caught on! After about an hour I had a few inches of...something and was very proud of myself.

“Claire, ye look like ye were up all night, go lay down sister.” Jenny said.

“But, I can knit.” I said. I was content to stay up for hours now I told myself, to knit whatever I could knit.

“Aye, and when ye wake ye will still be able to knit. Go on sister.” Jenny said and smiled at me.

I got up and walked to the door. I looked at Jenny and said, “I’m sorry it was a surprise. If I’d known ahead of time I would’ve told you.” I said.

Jenny nodded. “I ken.”

I got to our room, removed my shoes and lay on the bed. I was asleep in seconds.

I was dreaming I had knit a blanket as big as Fergus’s room. He was trying to thank me and not hurt my feelings but it was way too big.

I opened my eyes and almost laughed. I missed him and his brother and sisters. I had only spoken briefly to Violet this morning but everyone was fine and well. I got the rock out now and listened to see if anyone was near it.

I heard a door open and close. I thought someone picked up the rock and was carrying it but I couldn’t be sure. Another door closed and I heard Alex saying ball over and over.

“Here Alec, here is ball.” I heard Faith say and I smiled and tried not to cry. I could imagine Faith giving Alex a ball in her fashion and Alex missing it because he wasn’t coordinated enough to catch it yet.

“Mama, this is Faith, are ye there, it is me and the twins.” I heard and lit the rock up quickly.

“Faith, it’s Mama, are you alright?” I asked, a little concerned why she would have the rock alone.

“I’m fine Mama, but I’m lonely. Fergus and the other boys are playing outside.” Faith said and sighed.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“I’m in the nursery, the twins just woke up. When are ye coming home, I miss ye and Da.” Faith asked.

“Oh, my love as soon as we can but it will be a while still.” I said, trying to hold a tear back. ‘Your Da and I miss you very much.”

“Miss Faith, where have ye gone off too?” Lily said. She wasn’t close but I turned the rock off quickly and stood up.

Jamie was at the door and he gathered me in his arms as I tried and failed to not cry.

“Are ye alright Sassenach?” He asked as he was rubbing circles on my back.

“Yes, I just miss the children so much. I need to stay busy I suppose.” I said. I was about to tell him that I could knit but he was quicker.

“Speaking of busy, we had a mean chicken that pecked a hole in Ian and I was wondering if ye could see to him.” Jamie said, still holding me.

I leaned back and looked at him. “Had?” I asked.

“Och, aye, it’s dinner.” Jamie said and smiled.

I went downstairs and Jenny was waiting for me.

“Claire, can ye do what ye did for Da? With the light?” Jenny asked. I looked at her. “I sent Mrs. Crook outside with the children and the servants are all out of the house, no one will see, ye ken.” I opened my mouth to say I would try but Jenny said, “I don’t ken how long ye will be here and what if it gets inflamed?”

I held her hands. “Where is Ian?” I asked and she took me by the hands and led me to the kitchen.

“Dinna fash Claire, it’s only a small bite.” Ian said and I sat next to him and saw the two inch long gash that was still bleeding. I briefly wondered if the animal that did this was safe to eat.

“Ian, -” I was about to tell him that I would wash it and stitch the wound when my hands lit up again. I looked up at Ian and he was looking at his arm so I looked at it too and watched his wound heal. It was like watching the damage in reverse.

I heard Jenny gasp or maybe it was me but the wound was healed and my hands were still bright. I looked at Ian and he was moving his shoulder up and down. I tried to pull back and I desperately looked for Jamie.

“Claire” I heard Jamie say before I heard nothing else.

*****

“No, she has never done this before. It must stop, she is carrying my bairn, I willna have her exhausted like this. In two days she has fainted twice. It is too much.” I heard Jamie say. I tried to lift my head and protest but my mouth wouldn’t open and my head wouldn’t lift.

“Jamie, I ken alright, but Ian’s cut is healed. His shoulder does nay pain him.” Jenny said and I wondered what the hell they were talking about. What was wrong with Ian’s shoulder?

The conversation continued but I dipped back into sleep.

A while later my nose twitched at the wonderful smells. My goodness I was hungry!

“Jamie!” I heard Jenny yell and soon I felt Jamie helping me sit up. I was in the parlor and Jamie’s Da, Ian and Jenny were all standing around me. Jamie was looking at me.

“How do ye feel mo leannan?” He asked me.

“Hungry. How are you Ian?” I asked since he was looking at me.

“Braw lass, I am braw.” Ian said.

They were all still looking at me and I looked at Jamie. “Is it time to eat?” I asked.

Jamie laughed and looked at Jenny who was nodding and smiling. “Aye sister, it is whatever time ye want it to be.”

We were all seated at the table and I looked at the food. No stew. I knew I smelled Jenny’s rabbit stew from last night.

“Jenny, do you have any rabbit stew leftover?” I asked. 

“Aye, but the servants are eating that in the kitchen.” She said.

“May I have some? Your stew is delicious.” I asked and I heard Jamie’s Da laugh.

“Aye Janet, it is good stew and I wouldn’t mind some either.” Brian said.

“Mrs. Crook.” Jenny said and had Mrs. Crook trade bowls of stew for a large piece of chicken.

Dinner was delicious and I ate a lot. After dinner Brian asked if I would take a walk with him.

“Yes sir” I replied and looked at Jamie and Jenny. They shrugged.

“Da, not sir.” He replied and held out his arm. I took his arm and we went outside and walked.

He didn’t say anything for a while.

“Tell me about yerself Claire. Tell me about my new daughter.” He said.

I wondered what he would want to know about me, but I started with the basics; what was easy for me to tell. “I’m an only child and my parents died when I was five years old. My Uncle Lamb raised me, sorry, his name was Quentin Lambert, but Uncle Lamb to me. He was a bit unorthodox, as an archeologist he traveled quite a bit and I learned from tutors before I went to University.” I said and took a breath before continuing.

“Ye went to University?” Brian asked.

“Yes, in my time. I was born in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighteen.” I said and waited for that to sink in. Brian didn’t react though.

“I’m glad Jamie chose an educated woman.” He said and I smiled.

And so it continued. He asked me questions and I answered. I asked him questions about what I knew of his history and he answered them.

“Claire, do ye love my Jamie?” He asked me and I stopped and looked at him.

“With all my heart, he and our children are everything to me.” I said looking in his eyes. I needed him to know I spoke the truth.

“Aye, good, tell me about how you realized you could travel through stones.” Brian asked and helped me over a rocky patch of ground.

I told him. I told him everything. I wanted him to know he could trust me.

It was dark before we started home and he stopped me while we were still under the cover of trees.

“Claire, stop lass. Ye can see them sitting on the steps but they canna see ye yet. Watch Jamie. He loves ye too.” Brian said and smiled. Jenny and Ian were on the steps and the children were playing in the dooryard. Jamie was pacing back and forth. Every few seconds he would look around for a sight of me then keep pacing. I tried to go but Brian held onto my arm.

“I want to go to him, he’s worried.” I said.

“Just one more question. Do ye believe in God lass?” Brian asked. He needed to know that I wasn’t some heathen or witch I suppose.

I looked at him and briefly thought about the right answer that would be honest and prove my devotion to God. Of course I believed in God, we had lots of loud talks. Very loud. Suddenly I knew. I said, “ Credo in unum Deum, Patrem omnipotentem, factorem caeli et terrae, visibilium omnium et invisibilium-” I went on to recite the entire Nicene creed in latin. While I was speaking he bowed his head as if he was praying it as I spoke. When I finished he nodded and smiled at me.

“Lass, ye are educated, ye know God, ye saved two people who were strangers to ye and ye healed Ian and myself. I am honored to call ye daughter. Go to him.” Brian said and realised me. 

I started down the hill and Jamie ran up to meet me. He swept me in his arms and I was home.

“Sassenach, ye two were gone so long. Are ye alright?” He asked.

Brian was close enough to hear and I saw him smile but he kept walking to the house.

“I’m fine Jamie, take me to bed please.” I said.

As we were walking to the house we saw Brian sit on the steps and put his arm around Jenny. I was glad. I felt like I was getting too much attention.

We said goodnight and Jamie and I went to bed. I felt like I was not taking care of my husband but I was so tired all we did was fall asleep again. 

I woke early the next day and used the chamberpot and brushed my teeth. I looked at Jamie sleeping and was once again struck with how lucky I was having such a handsome husband who loved me the way Jamie does.

I took off my shift and slowly got back into bed facing him and kissed his cheeks, his neck and his chest.

“Hallo Sassenach. How do ye feel?” He asked me.

“I feel like I want some time with my husband.” I said. I kissed him on the mouth and put my leg over his hip. We didn’t get up for a while.

Afterwards, I lay in Jamie’s arms and tried to catch my breath. Jamie kissed me and got up to use the chamber pot. 

“The rock, pass me the rock please.” I said as I heard Fergus and Murtagh.

I lit it quickly. “Good morning.” I said and there was silence on the other side. I saw Jamie put his breeks on and he handed me my shift.

“Haloo lass, the lad and I are just having a disagreement.” Murtagh said.

“Can I help?” I asked.

“Aye, as we discussed it is time to plant. One of the Puller boys volunteered to help but I need Fergus to help too and the lad is refusing.” Murtagh said.

“Fergus, why are ye refusing?” Jamie asked.

“It’s going to be hot today and I don’t want to work in the mud. Can’t we just buy our food?” Fergus asked. My heart smiled to talk to him even though it was over something like this.

“Fergus.” I said in a disappointed voice.

“Lad, ye will get off yer arse and help Murtagh, and ye will do it now or I will ask him to punish ye and ye do nay want that.” Jamie said.

“Yes Da, yes Mam. Here’s Faith.” Fergus said and I thought I heard him walking out of the room.

“Haloo Mama, Haloo Da.” I heard Faith say and my heart smiled again.

“Hello darling, how are you today?” I asked.

“I’m good but Fergus is not happy. Violet is taking Miss Lily and I to the grocery store today and if I am good I might get ice cream.” I smiled at her toddler way of saying things.

“That sounds like fun, wee Faith! How are Brianna and Alex?” Jamie asked.

“They are fine but Alex is grumpy. He didn’t sleep good last night.” Faith said.

“I have some cards for ye Faith, oh are ye talking to yer parents?” I heard Violet say.

“Violet, how are you, how is everyone?” I asked, hoping for some information to put my mind at ease.

“We are fine Claire, dinna fash. Faith had a nightmare last night and woke up her younger brother who refused to go back to sleep, but everything is fine today. I have Lily and Flora coming in to help today and everyone is healthy dear.” Violet said.

“Thank you, it is good to know. So Ben is feeling better?” I asked.

“Aye, he is growing very attached to his new Da too. It means I can sleep more at night so I don’t complain.” Violet said.

“Thank you Violet, I have to close this now but thank you for talking to me.” I said and faintly heard her say of course.

I looked to Jamie to hand him the rock to put away and saw the open door behind him. Brian was standing there and so was Jenny and Ian.

*

“Okay, we can explain this before ye think anything bad Da.” Jamie said and stood in front of Claire.

“Why would I think anything bad? Your Sister explained Claire can speak through the certain rocks last night, and it seems a right nice talent to have. I enjoyed hearing my other grandchildren.” Brian said then pulled the door closed and I heard him walk down the hall.

Jamie got back in bed and held me to him. I was shaking; the witch trial had come to mind and I was very scared of going through something like that again.

*

The days passed quickly after that. Brian told us he didn’t remember anything before he was in the veil and that satisfied Jamie and Jenny. They worried I had taken their Father from heaven.

We were at dinner four nights later when Raymond showed back up. He’d taken Stephen home and his parents were both alive, but he’d lost a brother at Culloden. He told us he wanted to leave the next morning to scout the outpost he thought would be the one to infiltrate. 

I remembered the actual task we had and why we came back. It was easy to forget; I worked with Jenny in the house and Jamie worked with Brian and Ian in the fields every day and it felt so comfortable.

Jamie and I talked to the children morning and night and they were well and mostly happy. Faith asked us to come home every time we talked. 

“When are you returning Raymond?” I asked.

“Likely in a week or week and a half. I have a specific outpost in mind to ‘find’ red jamie but I need to scout a bit.” Raymond said.

“Ye never did tell us what was the original reason ye came back.” Jenny pointed out. “I’m excited by all measure to have Da back but I ken there is something else.”

I looked at my food; I was still eating as much as I could. I took a breath and looked up. 

“I’ve got this Sassenach.” Jamie said. 

“Ian.” Jamie said, unable to say more so he took a drink. “The redcoats take Ian to the tolbooth to try to get ye to tell them where I am hiding.” He paused and took another drink so I took it from there.

“While you are at the tolbooth you catch a wasting sickness. You are fine for a while, then you suffer through it for twelve years before you die. We thought if Jamie is almost captured,or captured at a remote place then escapes he can let them know Lallybroch is happy under British law and he never plans to return here. Then Ian will never be taken to the tolbooth.” I said and took a sip of my juice flask.

There was quiet for a minute, then Jenny, astute as ever said, “What else?”

“Our son dies.” Jamie said and Ian stood up.

“Jamie man are ye daft? I will go to the tolbooth a hundred times to keep a bairn alive!” Ian said and Jenny stood with him looking unsure. She walked over to Claire.

“Ye wouldna leave yer bairns without a plan. Ye are a mother, like me and I would see to what's right but ye protect yer bairns.” Jenny said.

I told everyone about our Grandson from the future coming with the medications. Then I pulled out the stone and told everyone that Fergus had my stone and we talked to our people at home twice a day. “I feel that I would know if something was wrong because Murtagh and Violet promised to tell us right away if one of the children got sick.” I said.

“Murtagh, our Murtagh?” Brian asked, looking at Jamie.

“Aye Da, my Godfather. He has been at my side all these years as he promised and he and his wife are taking care of our bairns why we try to save Ian.” Jamie said.

“I dinna need saving, I will go to the tolbooth to save yer bairn Jamie.” Ian said, sounding a little upset.

Jamie just held my hand for a minute and nothing else was said. 

When we were finished Raymond said, “Thank ye for a wonderful meal. Since I am leaving early tomorrow I thought I would just sleep in the barn again.”

“Nay, please, we have rooms, I will show you to one.” Jenny said and Raymond followed her.

We finished dinner and decided to go through the bags. Jenny was very happy with the fabric and everyone loved Lily’s banana bread. I dumped out the bag of medications and started explaining everything to Jenny and she took notes. We’d given our gifts from our time and Jenny was happy with more money. Construction on the extra rooms had to be halted for materials and now it could be restarted. Da and Ian loved the peanut butter.

“Sister, I am truly glad ye are Jamie’s wife.” Jenny said, “But I am glad we taught ye to knit so yer only work isna only that of the fairies.” Jenny finished and we both laughed.

I took her hand, “I have missed you.” I said quietly and she squeezed my hand.

We all went to Jenny and Ian’s bedroom since it was the largest when it was time to talk to the rest of our family in 1950.

“Mere, how are you and Da? Can we make more cows in the dooryard jokes?” Fergus said and laughed.

‘Why is there a french lad calling you Mother?” Brian said.

“Who is that? Does someone question that you are my parents?” Fergus said, instantly riled up.

“Aye, calm down lad, yer a child of my heart, it is your Grandfather. We told him about you but forgot to tell him you were french.” Jamie said.

“My Grandfather? Ye mean Muta” Faith said speaking up. Brian’s eyes looked watery at her voice. 

“Nay lass, my Da, not my Godfather.” Jamie said.

“Well, I forgive him. My family is the best thing about me, being french is only the second best thing.” Fergus said with an exaggerated french lilt.

I asked him about planting and I guess he found his peace with it because he was laughing about Murtagh. 

“Will Lewis stay?” Faith asked.

“That is up to him Faith dear, he may have places he wants to go.” I replied.

“I don’t want him to go.” She replied.

“I know, we will see.” I said and she went to get Murtagh.

Fergus told us about two books he wanted to order and I told him we would ask Murtagh or Violet to order them for him when they next went into town.

Faith had come back to Fergus’s room without Murtagh so Fergus had to go.

“I'll get him.” Fergus said and while he was gone Faith sang her ABC’s for us and we told her how well she was doing.

“Aye, I’m here, is everything alright?” Murtagh said.

Before I could tell him yes Brian spoke up. “Murtagh FitzGibbons Fraser!” Brian said and started laughing.

“Aye, who is that, it sounds like... lass who is that?” Murtagh asked.

“Brian Robert David Fraser! Murtagh how are ye?” Brian said laughing.   
  


“Claire, Jamie, is Brian alive?” Murtagh asked.

“Aye, but it will take longer to explain than we have time for, Claire is looking pale.” Jamie said. Jamie made sure that everyone was fine, asked Murtagh to order Fergus’s books when he could, then goodbyes were passed. Then I fainted.

I woke up to anxious faces around the bed. “I’m sorry.” I said.

Jamie picked me up and took me to bed.

“Claire, ye are mo cridhe, please take better care of yourself.” Jamie said and cradled my head. He touched his forehead to mine and I sighed trying to relax myself. All too soon I was asleep.

*****

Jamie’s POV

Claire fell asleep and I ushered everyone out of our room that had followed me. I walked out with them but I wasn’t going far.

“Jenny, Ian, Da good night. I am going to bed with Claire.” I said.

Jenny and Ian gave their goodbyes and left but Da lingered. “It is early yet. We could have a dram and ye could tell me how ye met yer wife.” He said.

“Another time Da, sorry but I nay want to leave her alone long.” I told him and he smiled at me.

“So ye found a true love aye?” He asked me.

I looked him right in the eyes so he knew how serious I felt. “Aye Da, she is my heart.” then I went back to our room.

I slipped everything off but my shirt then tried to undress Claire a bit but she woke up and wanted everything off. I lay next to her on my side and she nuzzled in close to me. I could not help but to rise. She wiggled that beautiful arse right up on me and kept trying to get closer to me. She felt how hard I was and turned over to kiss me.

“Yes Jamie, fast and hard.” Claire said as she was nibbling my bottom lip. 

“Sassenach, are ye sure, ye just fainted.” I asked. Of course I wanted her but I wouldn’t hurt my wife. 

“That was my fault, I held the rock open too long. I am feeling fine now.” She said and as if to prove it she climbed on top of me.

********

I was awake before Claire and I went to the kitchen to see Jenny and the children eating. Wee Maggie and Kitty were eating and getting everything messy. 

“Let me help.” I said and started to feed the girls.

“Thank ye brother, I feel like I never have a minute of peace. But I guess ye know about that eh? How many bairns at your Lallybroch then?” Jenny asked.

“There is our Fergus, he is twelve though so he’s a lad now. Faith is three, the twins are one and a half. Those are mine. Murtagh and Violet adopted a wee bairn name of Benjamin and we call him Ben. We also adopted three older lads, but it was more to get them out of an orphanage and get us some help. Murtagh said the older lads are getting along good.” I told her.

“What do ye mean by his Lallybroch?” Da said. 

Jenny looked up. “I just mean, in his time, same building, different time.” Jenny said, then started to cut a potato.

“Can I visit with ye son? Meet my other Grandchildren?” Da asked.

“Ah, I think so, I will have to talk to Claire because she is the one that can take people through the stones. It is hard to travel, and even she can only go at certain times of the year so ye would have to stay with us for some months.” I told him.

“That is fine. Jenny and Ian are managing very well here and they didna need me.” Da said.

“Da, we need ye very much!” Jenny said.

Da went to Jenny and put his arms around her. “Mo nighean, ye have always been strong and ye were when ye and yer man had to do the running of Lallybroch.” Da let her go and I saw tears in Jenny’s eyes.

“I will have weeks here?” Da asked me, holding Jenny’s hand.   
  


“Aye, we canna travel until the summer solstice. After that I think it is Samhain, then Yule.” I said. I wondered what Claire would think about taking him.

“That will do, that will do fine. Ye never know what will happen tomorrow, I want to get to know all my grandchildren.” Da said and he walked into the other room following wee Jamie.

************

A week and a half passed by quickly. I briefly wondered if we’d tampered with the speed of time by traveling through it but dismissed the idea as fancy. We missed the children desperately but talking to them twice a day helped.

Claire had to give Raymond back his rock before he left but we had Jenny’s to talk to the children. Da thought about going with us when Raymond came back from his scouting mission but I talked him into staying to be with Jenny and her family. 

Raymond had finally returned from his scouting mission late one night and told us we must travel at first light. That night was a short one; Claire slept fitfully and I tried to comfort her.

Goodbye’s were harder this time, since Da was there. I was used to it with Jenny and Ian. When Claire hugged Jenny I saw her wipe a tear away when Claire turned.

Raymond rode ahead of us but Claire and I were soon ready. 

Claire made her goodbyes and when she was ready, I sat her on Donas and my Father stepped up.

“Lad, ye canna put my new daughter on that beast. Get her a different horse.” Da said.

“Da, we ride together.” I told him.

“We have plenty of horses, take two.” Da said.

I hugged him. “We take one because it’s easier and the lass hardly weighs anything.” I told him and he sighed.

“Alright, ye have yer own way of doing things, ye are a man grown.” Da said and hugged me back.

After my goodbyes were said I got up on Donas and we left the dooryard. Jenny, Ian, Da and wee Jamie were still on the steps waving.

“Janet, will they be alright?” Da asked.

“Aye Da, dinna fash. We ken Claire has a bit of the fairy about her. She will see him safe. They will be back in a few weeks.” Jenny said.

Donas turned from the dooryard and they were out of view.

******

I was sad when we left, kind of like stepping down into the muck. We were in a house with my family and my Da was back then we are traveling by horseback and Claire is with bairn so I am worried. 

Claire relaxed into me and I put my face in her hair a few times. She always smelled wonderful. Eventually she fell asleep and I was glad for her to get some more rest. It was getting late and I wanted to get Claire off the horse to eat. Before I could do anything about it Raymond appeared and told us to get off the road now. So I held Claire tighter and we went as he dismounted, followed us for a minute then turned around and went back to the road. I realized he was hiding the trail we’d left.

Claire and I hid in the underbrush and we dismounted letting Donas graze. We heard horses coming and we ducked down lower.

“You there! State your name and business.” One of the redcoats bellowed.

Raymond threw his hands up and looked down. “I am Raymond Tyree, from France.” The leader looked at what seemed like the second in charge.

They proceeded to ask Raymond about where certain buildings were located in France and apparently the redcoats were satisfied because they rode on. It was a group of four.

Claire and I let out the breath we were holding in. “Hey, about what ye said to yer Da before we left, I’m very substantial.” She said and I smiled at her. She was such a brave wee thing.

We decided to move on another two miles then camp for the night. Claire ate another plate of meat that Raymond had kept miraculously cold on the trip. Claire cut up some fruit and we had raspberries and apples along with a plate of meat. This would likely be very similar to all our meals.

I got our little tent up and covered the canvas with branches to hide it. Claire and I crawled into bed and had a short talk with Violet since the boys were all still in the barn building something. Everyone was still well and we went to sleep happy.

I woke a few hours later to the horses sounding upset. I slipped away from Claire and put my boots on. When I emerged from the tent I had my dirk in one hand and my pistol in the other. 

“Don’t shoot, I’m sorry but we are starvin ye see!” A small dirty man was going through the bags on the horses. I put my pistol down but not my dirk even though I noticed he didn’t seem to have one.

“Are ye alone?” I asked him.

“My wife and bairns are just over the ridge. They canna see if ye are going to kill me.” He said and I smirked. The Scots must truely be downtrodden to give an easy way to commit murder.

“I’m nay going to kill ye. Here, take these bannocks and come back in the morning for breakfast.” I told him. After the man thanked me ten times he left and I got back in the tent and lay next to Claire. Shockingly, she was still asleep.

******

Claire’s POV

I woke up and stretched next to Jamie. He was such a joy to wake up to: warm, and always ready to satisfy me. But we were in a tent and I could hear movement outside so we couldn’t enjoy each other. 

I woke Jamie with a kiss, that he intensified until he remembered where we were. “Ach, I have to get up, there was a man trying to steal our food for his family and I invited them for breakfast.” Jamie said and slipped his breeks and boots on.

“Sassenach,” He said and put the rock on my lap,” See if ye can get some ham or something from home.” Then he kissed me and was out of the tent speaking loudly to cover for me talking to people from our time.

Violet was changing Fergus’s sheets thankfully and she was able to give me bacon, a dozen eggs, and a breakfast bread.

After I got dressed and came out with breakfast I saw the little family. They gasped when they saw what was in my hands.

“Ach, I left the food bag in the tent, thank ye.” Jamie said and took the food from me. 

I went back in the tent to get my boots but I heard Violet and Murtagh speaking about sending me another flask of juice. I lit the rock back up and reached through to get the juice, then whispered thanks and gave the thumbs up sign.

Our visitors were very hungry and ate everything they were offered. We gave them the breakfast bread and they were gone.

“We need to pack up and go now.” Raymond whispered to us and we did. We were on our way to the road less than five minutes later.

It took us five long days to reach the outpost Raymond had spoken about. It was on the border between the lowlands and the highlands but not on a main road. 

When we arrived and were ready Raymond and I watched the outpost in plain sight but Jamie had to stay hidden just in case. They seemed very relaxed; like their presence there was just a courtesy. It was also rather small; it likely sat six people at the most. There was a window on each side and I didn’t think there was even a cell. It was just too small.

Raymond and Jamie were both dressed well in outfits of a gentleman. I had an overlaced dress that I didn’t care for but it helped me to play the character. 

It seemed crowded with people walking around and at first I thought it was a mistake. But there was nothing for the redcoats to do but socialize. There were only two men stationed there and they frequently left the small outpost unguarded.

As soon as it got dark one of the men left his post unguarded to go drink with a woman. Raymond was right, this was the place.

“Are you positive you can get him out?” I asked before I took part in this escapade.

Raymond looked at me and said, “Absolutely.”

I left Raymonds side and went to talk to Jamie. He agreed if we were going to do this, it was the right time and the right place.

I took his arm and we walked past Raymond who was still sitting where I left him. When we walked by he got up.

We walked right by the red coat and when Jamie looked up he was spotted.

“Hold on right there!” The red coat yelled. I acted bewildered. It was part of the plan.

“What do ye want ye lobster back?” Jamie said in his most disrespectful voice. The redcoat grabbed Jamie’s wrists and Jamie allowed it. The red coat looked at the broad sheets hung all over the little outpost building.

“There you are, you are red Jamie of Lallybroch. Shit I’ve caught red Jamie.” The red coat said. 

The other red coat came up and I grew worried. One was easier than two.

“Look here, I just caught red Jamie.” The other red coat was a little drunk but he read the broadsheet and looked at Jamie. The few people around scattered at the commotion.

“Why aint you at home, at the Lallybroch? It says here you are likely at home.” The drunk red coat said.

This was our chance! Could Jamie say bad things about our home to save Ian?

“Home? What home, Lallybroch?” Jamie almost yelled. Then he spit on the ground. “There is nothing there but a lot of traitors, all english lovers there, God save the king and everything. I would never go back to lallybroch, it is tainted with redcoat lovers!” Jamie yelled and broke free and took off.

They finally noticed me. “Mam, are you unharmed by the criminal?” The drunk one asked me.

“Yes, thankfully! I’m so glad you fellows are here to save us from criminals like that!” I used the fan Raymond had provided me and looked down to seem demure. The drunk one then took off after Jamie.

Raymond came up and pretended I was his daughter so he could take me. They couldn’t wait to issue the order for me to stay away from those with a Scottish accent.

“What are you going to do about that man? He almost absconded with my daughter?!” Raymond sounded outraged.

The drunk redcoat had chased Jamie into the bushes and the sober one was talking to us.

“Where did he say he was going?” He asked me.

“To London, he said he was going to make some money then get on a boat to somewhere warm.” I said in my most rescued lass voice. “What are you going to do?” I asked breathily.

“Well Mam, I am writing up a report of this sighting and the criminals' words to send to our superiors with the criminal when he is brought back.” The young man said. I almost felt sorry for the young man.

“May I take my daughter or do you need us for anything else?” Raymond asked like an entitled gentleman.

“No, I don’t need you for anything, please get yourself to safety.” The man said and we left.

It was finished, I kept thinking that as I walked away surprised at how easy it was to accomplish. Over a week at Lallybroch, five days to get here and it was over in ten minutes. As long as Jamie didn’t get caught or hurt. Perhaps Raymond was thinking the same because he said quietly, “Just keep walking, don’t look around.”

The plan was to go to the tavern where Raymond and I had rooms. I was to go to my room and change my clothes and wait until midnight. Then I was going to sneak out the window and get into our wagon where Jamie would be waiting under the blankets. Raymond was going to get out by going outside for a stroll and a smoke. He smiled when he told us that part of the plan; like he was looking forward to a stroll and a smoke.

We got to the tavern and Raymond had a tray sent to my room but he ate at the bar. Waiting was very difficult because I didn’t know if Jamie was safe or not. After I got my dinner tray I took out the rock and tried to talk to Murtagh. I told him the plan and he told me we were mad. But the children were safe and well. Faith had sneezed a lot that day and Violet said she might have allergies because although she’d checked multiple times she did not have a fever.

I heard the noise from the tavern below get less and I checked my watch that I kept hidden. It was eleven. I changed my clothes and walked around the room a bit. I had my little bag ready to go and finally it was almost midnight.

I got out the window and walked to the edge of the roof. There was the ladder Raymond had promised me and I went down it.

“Wonderful Claire!” Raymond said. We both went further down the alley to our wagon and Raymond went to hitch the horses back up.

I pulled back the blanket in the wagon. Jamie wasn’t there.


	37. Jamie is alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers,
> 
> I hope everyone had happy and safe holidays!
> 
> I am getting a little far from canon, but Nayawenne was a character that had more potential. I hope you agree.

I looked around wildly. Where was Jamie? I checked the bench seat but I didn’t see him anywhere. Raymond had the horses hitched and came back to me.

“Are you ready Madonna?” He asked.

“No, Jamie isn’t here.” I said.

“What?” Raymond asked and looked through the back of the wagon, as if I could miss a Scot that was over six foot tall.

I turned and looked around. Could he have been caught? No, one man was chasing him, one drunk man, surely he got away, didn’t he?

“Raymond, you have to go thank the redcoats.” I said.

“Thank them?! For being bloodthirsty-” Raymond started but I cut him off.

“So you can see if they have Jamie, you have to go find out. What bloody bird sings at midnight?” I said getting frustrated as I tried to whisper over the noise. 

Bird.

Bird calls.

Jamie.

“No, I’m wrong, wait here.” I said then I started to walk to the end of the ally. 

I looked across the street where the bird calls were coming from. I just looked and tried to calm myself. There he was! I saw the outline of Jamie’s face coming through a bush across the street and I saw he was bloody. In an instant my damn hands lit up and I tried to hide them before anyone saw but I was too late.

“You there, what was that light? It was very bright.” One of a pair of redcoats said as they stood in front of the tavern.

“What? I saw no light.” I said in reply.

“It’s there, in your pocket, give over girl.” One of the redcoats said and just then Raymond came tearing down the alley and essentially separated the redcoats from me since they were on the other side of the wagon.

“Ugh, servants, they never obey do they? Get in, girl.” Raymond said, complaining to the redcoats. I got in the wagon and made my way towards the front with my head down to look the part. Luckily drink or women were more important as the redcoats went into the tavern.

“He’s across the street and in the bushes.” I whispered to Raymond. He pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the bushes and got out to examine a wheel. I felt the  _ thud  _ of Jamie’s weight in the back of the wagon.

Raymond got back in and we set off again. It was all I could do to sit still until we were well away from the little village. Finally Raymond pulled over and got out. I got out and went to Jamie; my hands were still bright.

“Where are you hurt?” I asked Jamie, pulling the blanket off him.

“I’m fine, is it really safe so close?” Jamie said sitting up warily.

“Yes, even if it is not it is dark so let Madonna fix your injuries so you may ride.” Raymond said.

I was trying to find the wound on Jamie’s face and he sat still. “I only fell in some bushes, no bullet wounds or stabbings.” Jamie said and Claire put her hands on his face and his small cuts and abrasions faded and were gone. Jamie sighed.

“It was but scratches and I would rather ye keep the energy it must take from ye to heal Sassenach.” Jamie said and took my hands from his face.

“Well, I would rather not have a husband that is bleeding.” I said.

“James, your horse is saddled, you need to ride so we can move out of here.” Raymond said and Jamie was on his saddle in a few steps.

“Why were there extra redcoats?” I asked Raymond. He had assured us of only two on duty.

“A messenger was sent to let them know I was in the area. They arrived but apparently didn’t think I was all that important.” Jamie said and started to ride.

I decided to stay in the wagon. It was about half full with ale and wine and other household needs but I could also stretch out. And think. 

I should’ve been thinking about how close Jamie had just been to getting caught. I wasn’t; I was thinking about the witch trial. Would I end up at another witch trial when I couldn’t control light that came from my hands? Would my children, my family be ostracized in the twentieth century when someone saw my hands light up.

Fergus attended a very good school and they could easily not accept the child of the fairy woman who had light coming from her hands. I could lose Flora and Lily. Jamie and Murtagh could lose their students and they earned quite a bit of money from teaching sword fighting. 

I needed to do something but I didn’t know what.

******

We rode for hours until out of nowhere Ahote showed up on the side of the road on a horse.

He bowed slightly to Raymond and Raymond bowed back. Then he rode with us until almost sunrise when we camped off the rode.

“Hello Frasers, how are you?” Ahote asked as he helped me out of the wagon and Jamie was just catching up to us.

“Fine, I didn’t know you-” I was going to say I didn’t know he was traveling to this time but my hand lit up as he grasped it. He gasped slightly.

“Thank you, that was-” Was all I heard Ahote say before I fainted.

I awoke on a pallet by a small fire alone. I opened my eyes and looked at the fire. Raymond and Ahote were right behind me and I heard their conversation.

“Claire wasn’t supposed to heal until she was much older, Nayawenne said her full power would come when her hair is white. What happened?” Ahote asked.

“I haven’t the slightest idea. I had thought it might be pulling Brian out but it happened on her first passage, before Brian. I am concerned this might endanger the child.” Raymond said.

I closed my eyes and worried for my unborn child. 

Jamie came back with a rabbit and put it to cok on the fire. I pretended to ‘wake’ and looked at Jamie.

“Sassenach, are ye alright?” Jamie asked me.

“Yes, I’m fine, just hungry.” I said and sat on my pallet. Jamie brought me a few pieces of beef jerky we brought from our time and a bannock from Jenny and I sat quietly and ate them. 

When I was finished I stood and walked to the wagon. After I woke Raymond and Ahote had migrated to the wagon to talk so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Who is Nayawenne?” I asked and they both went silent.

“Look, I have light coming from my hands that heals and I can’t control it. I need answers. My family might suffer because of this and I won’t have it. If we make it through our time in the twentieth century what happens when we come back? Another witch trial for me? I don’t think I will be as lucky as I was in the last one, maybe they’ll actually burn me this time.. Talk to me.” I was frustrated and I got louder as I spoke. I felt Jamie take my hand from behind.

“Do ye two know something to help Claire?” Jamie asked. When they didn’t answer Jamie said, “Claire and I will be by the fire, when ye decide to help let us know.” and he pulled me to the fire with him. I looked back at Raymond and Ahote and they were shrugging at each other.

“Sassenach, it will be alright. We will figure this out.” Jamie said and I put my head on his shoulder. I wanted to believe him, but of all the problems we faced nothing was like this one. 

Finally, Raymond and Ahote came to the fire and sat down.

“Madonna, we don’t want to hide things, merely to keep information about the future as much a secret as it can be kept. But you’re right, you need to know some things.” Raymond said.

“Nayawenne is a medicine woman, a wise woman, of the Tuscarora. In a timeline we’ve seen you meet her in the colonies, in North Carolina in about twenty years. She says that you will achieve your full power when your hair is white. She dreams of you.” Ahote told her and Jamie.

There was silence for a few moments. “I would like to speak to Nayawenne.” I said and no one replied.

“Madonna, she is not a traveler. I don’t know if she’s had her dreams yet to impart the wisdom I understand you want.” Raymond said.

“There is a way.” Ahote said quietly.

“No, there is not. Madonna is with child.” Raymond said.

“I am right here, let me decide for myself.” I said.

“Claire,” Jamie said and I looked at him in surprise. It was so rare I heard him say my first name. “Maybe we wait on this until after our bairn is born.” He rubbed my arm.

“Maybe my hands glow when I am in the hospital giving birth. Maybe we try a home birth and the midwife sees my hands glow. Maybe they won’t let Fergus back into school, or Faith back into preschool. Maybe people cross the street to get away from us when we take a walk in Inverness. Maybe the government decides something is off and decides to take me away.” I said and was in tears by the end.

Jamie had his arms around me and was telling me that he wouldn’t allow any of those things. I knew he would try, but how could he keep us safe when my hands were glowing and healing?

*****

The other four days it took to get to Lallybroch passed quickly. I rode with Jamie or in the back of the wagon to sleep. I reminded myself we’d done a good thing and now Ian wouldn’t have to suffer. I was glad we’d done what we could to save him from that fate; for a man like Ian to suffer with an illness for twelve years seemed so cruel.

I spoke with our family in 1950 as much as possible. The children all had colds but they were managing well. On the last morning before we were to reach Lallybroch I woke to hear someone yelling my name.

“What is it?” Jamie said. I’d jumped up and he’d woken and grabbed his dirk.

“Someone is yelling for me.” I said softly as I tried to figure out the voice. “Murtagh!” I practically yelled and pulled out the rock from my bag and lit it quickly.

“Murtagh, I’m here, what’s the matter?” I said.

“Ach, lass, thank ye God. It’s the wee lassie, Faith, a fever has her.” Murtagh said with obvious distraught.

“Let me, Claire, Faith is breathing poorly and her fever is high, I am taking her to the hospital. Alex has a fever also, but it is nay so high and young Murtagh wants a few more hours to try to manage it. What say you?” Violet asked. “What do you want us to do?”

My response was automatic. “Put the rock near Faith’s chest, I am going to reach through it.” I said and gave them a few seconds, then reached through the rock and laid my hand on Faith’s chest. I knew they were glowing even though my eyes were closed.

I heard her cough and she was spitting up. I knew what she was spitting up, it was the infection leaving her. 

“Mamma?” I heard Faith say.

“Hello my dear, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m alright, are ye coming home to play with me?” She said and I heard her stand up and Murtagh was praying to a saint.

“Not just yet my darling, but soon.” I said.

“Muta, I’m hungry. Can ye make me a grilled cheese again?” Faith asked.

“Aye ye wee lass, anything ye want.” Murtagh said and I was touched at the emotion in his voice.

“Now Alex please.” I said, feeling my energy wane.

We repeated the process with Alex.

“Claire, what is going on?” Violet asked.

“I will explain it to you when we get home.” I said. “I have to close this now.” I closed the rock and went immediately back to sleep.

I slept for about an hour and was listening to the rock as soon as I woke. I heard pages turning, lit the rock and whispered, “Fergus?”

“Mere! Hi, how are you?” He said and I did my best not to tear up. 

“I’m fine, how are you? How is Faith?” I asked.

“I’m fine, I’m looking through my reading packet from school and I’m going to need so many books.” Fergus said almost defeatedly.

“I will speak to Murtagh and you can have any book you want mo’mac, How is Faith and Alex?” Jamie asked.

“They are doing better, we’ve all had colds and Murtagh is making snot jokes. I will take you to Murtagh and Violet, no one else is in the house.” Fergus said and he carried the rock to the kitchen.

“Fergus wash up please, I want you to eat some more.” I heard Violet say.

“Aye Grandmere, Mere and Da wanted to speak with you.” Fergus said. I think he handed the rock to Violet and she went to a quieter area.

“Claire, I dinna know what ye did, but Faith and Alex are doing much better.” Violet said.

“Did the fevers break completely?” I asked.

“Aye, neither has a fever. Brianna has a runny nose but no fever. Fergus is fine, that is a strong lad. Murtagh has a fever.” She said.

“Dinna bother the lass, I’ll bide.” Murtagh said in the distance.

“Murtagh, we thank ye for caring for our bairns.” Jamie said and made a motion to me to shake hands. It took me a few seconds before I picked up on it. Then I put a hand through the rock and it was glowing. Murtagh shook my hand; I knew it was Murtagh from the calluses. 

“This is strange, a hand coming fr-” He stopped and coughed.

I pulled my hand out and let the rock go dim and my head fell back on our makeshift pillow. Jamie kissed me, my lips, my cheeks, my neck.

“I dinna know how to thank ye Claire, first ye give me bairns and then ye heal them and Murtagh.” Jamie said and kissed my forehead.

“I have to check back with Murtagh.” I said, thinking logically and reached to hold Jamie’s hand.

I did check back and Murtagh’s fever had broken also. By the time we arrived at Lallybroch later that day I was sure that everyone in 1950 was fever free and feeling better.

I was riding with Jamie and I was asleep in the saddle when we arrived.

  
  
  
  


***Jamie’s POV***

I thought about waking my Sassenach as we got closer to home so I squeezed her hand and rubbed her leg but she didna want to wake. I knew she was exhausted holding the rock open so often today as she healed our bairns and Murtagh. I held her close and wondered what we were going to do about her hands.

I knew she was afraid and I hoped she didna anything drastic but if Claire is anything, she is practical. I didna worry too much.

I couldna imagine anyone calling her a witch after she might heal their bairn or their loved ones. I couldna imagine being anything but grateful, of course I didna think that wicked bitch Laoghaire MacKenzie would do as she did either. Maybe because Claire is more practical she can truly see people and all their wicked intentions.

I didna know. All I did know is that she is my Sassenach and we will work it out together as we do everything. I didna want our win to be overshadowed - Ian would not be imprisoned because of me and my choices. He would be safe from the disease that would cause him to suffer for years. I was very happy about that. I had done what I could to keep them safe. I could hardly wait to see my Da again and describe what happened.

We went around a small bend in the road and I saw Lallybroch.

We entered the dooryard well before the wagon to see Mrs. Crook hanging laundry with wee Jamie running around. As soon as she saw Claire and I, surprise showed on her face and she shook her head no and waved at me to get back. I looked around and saw horses. I turned and caught Ahote.

“Someone is there. Mrs. Crook waved at me to go, I’m taking Claire to the woods.” I told Ahote.

“Here, take the food bag. Raymond and I will go on in case they’ve heard us. We aren’t on any broadsheets that I know of anyway.” Ahote said.

I took the food bag and nodded to Ahote, then I took to the trees so I wouldn’t be seen. We rode through the woods for about an hour and I stopped by a creek. I was able to wake Claire and we dismounted.

I sat her down and we ate a bit. I could see her thinking madly away.

“Where are we? Where is Raymond? Or Ahote?” She asked.

“We were almost in the dooryard when Mrs. Crook waved me away. I didna know who was there but it may be redcoats. Ahote and Raymond road on, they will pass news that we are alright.” I told her and she nodded and looked around.

“This is beautiful. I wonder what it looks like in 1950.” She asked.

“It is still beautiful Sassenach. We own the land and it is still like this. I’m so glad to have this finished, to know Ian willna suffer for my crimes.” I told her hoping to get a smile.

She gave me half a smile. “So am I, I’m glad Ian will be safe and I will be glad when we can go home to the children.” she said and then gave a real smile. 

A moment passed and the smile faded. “Do you want to come home?” She asked.

“Of course I want to come home, I want to get back to our life with our family.” I said and kissed her.

“No, I mean you aren’t wanted for murder anymore, just being a jacobite. Do you want to come back to your time?” Claire asked me.

I looked at her and I didn’t have an exact answer. I sat next to my wife and looked at the creek. “Yes and no. Yes because this is my time and I am most comfortable here but no because of the advantages of your time. Fergus is learning so much, and I know you are working with Faith and the twins. The medical care is so much better, and that is a big concern as ye are having another bairn.” I said and kissed her again. She tasted like sunshine and she smelled of summer. She got up and sat herself in my lap.

“We willna be there forever, just a few more years. I would vote to stick to the plan and stay for the four years. What say ye Sassenach?” I asked her. She was making circles on my chest and kissing my neck.

“I agree. We will be there only a few more years. It will give the children an educated start and the medicine is better. What do you think Murtagh will vote?” She asked me. My cock was hard as she kissed my neck and put her hand behind my head to bring it down to her for a kiss.

I kissed her and lifted her skirts to hold that beautiful arse. “I think he will vote to stay too, remember Violet isna traveling back with us.” I said as I watched her breathing heavy.

I rubbed her legs and she gave that little whimpering sound that I love. “Jamie, now.” She said and I pulled my breeks down and entered her. She gasped at the joining but I felt like I was coming home. She was warm and slick and I could’ve come as soon as I entered her. She was on top and set a slow, pained pace but I saw it was only because she was tired. I found that little bud above the entrance to her honeypot and I rubbed gently at first, She gasped and rode me harder so I rubbed her harder. I knew she was ready so I held her waist with my other hand and rammed it down on my cock. It was a beautiful finish.

We sat curled together for a while until she fell asleep. I took a rag and wiped my seed from her thigh, then kissed her forehead.

I took care of my ‘beast’ as Da had called him and set our tent up for the night. I covered it with sticks and branches like I had every night and took our things into the tent. I laid our bedroll out and got it ready for Claire, then I carried her into the tent. She woke up to see where we were going but closed her eyes almost immediately.

I lay next to her but I didna sleep. I wondered who was at Lallybroch and how it was going. After a while she stirred, grabbed my hand and went back to sleep.

She woke later and we ate the rest of the jerky and dried pineapples. This wasna my favorite fruit but Claire enjoyed it so I got a few down. After we ate she fell asleep again, and as it was starting to get dark again I slept also.

I woke in the wee hours to Claire crying and I held her close. “Sassenach, what is it?” I asked.

“My hands, the light, the healing, what are we going to do? I can’t make our family suffer because of me.” She said and cried some more.

“Dinna weep  mo nighean donn, we will figure this out. I don’t know how right now but dinna fash, we will get an answer.” I said and she nodded and tried to stop weeping. I held her until she hiccupped and fell back asleep.

In the morning we broke our fast and after so much sleep it looked like Claire felt better so I was glad. We ate and spoke to Murtagh, Violet and Fergus. They were all doing much better and no one had a fever. Violet said young Murtagh was a little odd but didn’t know what was bothering him.

We packed up and decided to try and go home again. Claire was asleep again when we arrived but Jenny was sitting on the steps watching her bairns play.

“Jamie, Claire - come on, it’s safe.” Jenny said and yelled that we were back.

I smiled and woke Claire.


	38. A Scolding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. Between working long hours recently and decided to change the idea I had for this story it has been several weeks in the making.
> 
> Thank you to all my wonderful readers and thank you to Diana Gabaldon for these characters.

We dismounted and Jenny swept us in hugs. “I’ve been waiting on ye, are ye both alright?” Jenny asked.

“We’re fine, just tired and hungry.” I said and looked at Jamie who nodded.

“Aye, Janet.” Jamie said, and put an arm around his sister and kissed the top of her head.

Jamie took the horse to the barn and I saw Brian coming toward the house. He waved and I waved back and Jamie met him on his way to the barn.

I looked at Jenny, who was looking at me. “What’s wrong? Was my brother a clot hede again?” She asked me and I smiled.

“No, he was great, I’m fine.” I said and looked at the door.

“Come.” Jenny said and took my hand. 

Mrs. Crook was watching the girls and I guessed wee Jamie was with Ian. I waved to them and Jenny steered me up the steps and we went to a room that wasn’t used and Jenny closed the door behind us.

“What is it? Whatever is going on if ye tell me maybe we can figure it out together.” Jenny said. I brought so much into her life that she didn’t understand and she still wanted to help me. I blinked away my watery eyes.

“It’s the healing. I know it’s helpful, and it may have saved at least one of my children, but I can’t control it. I’ve already gone through one witch trial and I would prefer to keep that at once in my life. Even in my time, my family could be ostracized and at worst I could be seized by the government.” I said and I tried to stop rubbing my hands.

“Well, I have been thinking about it and I think the first step is gloves and a muff.” Jenny said.

“Gloves and a muff?” I asked, wondering how that could help. 

“Yes, I went visiting and made some trades while ye two were gone and I have ye two pair of fine black gloves and a muff to put your hands in if the gloves need to thicker. That should hide the light if ye need to be hiding it.” Jenny said and looked at me with the face of determination. 

I took a breath to control my rising emotion. This, this is what I needed, practical ideas! Jamie had the best intentions in his heart and I knew it but I needed a plan and Jenny gave me a start.

“Thank you, thank you, this will help a lot. Do you think Mrs. Crook is safe if it happens in front of her?” I asked. I knew the woman had worked at Lallybroch for a long time.

“Aye, it would be better if it did nay happen in front of her, but she would likely call ye a fairy before a witch.” Jenny said.

“That’s fine, I’m still called a fairy in my time.” I said and shrugged. Jenny looked like she was going to ask me something but the door opened.

“This is where ye went Sassenach, come downstairs, Da said they have news.” Jamie said and waited for us to leave the room.

Downstairs the table was set with a heavy lunch and it was all I could do not to dig in. Everything looked and smelled amazing. Brain said the blessing and we filled our plates.

News had traveled fast. Their visitors had been redcoats coming to apologize. Jamie almost choked with the word apologize. Apparently the redcoats had come with a small sum of sterling meant to offset holding Ian and told them they were sorry for assuming the family was hiding Jamie.

“They told us new evidence let them know Red Jamie wouldn’t come home, so they said except for friendly checks they would be leaving us alone.” Ian said.

Jamie sighed audibly. “That is a relief. I didna want ye to suffer for my crimes.” Jamie said and he looked like a weight had lifted.

Jamie told them about our trip and they told us more about the redcoat visit and the new livestock. Just when I was ready to fall asleep at the table Raymond barged into the dining room.

“Madonna, I need to use your rock. The one we have won’t open.” Raymond said and I got up and went through my bag until I found my rock. Really Jenny’s. I handed it to him and he tried to open it right there.

“This one won’t open either. I don’t know what has happened.” Raymond said.

“It does that sometimes, what is the name of the person you are trying to reach?” I asked.

Raymond looked at me suspiciously. “Lily.” He said and handed me the rock back.

I took it in my hand, lit it up and called for Lily. As soon as I handed it back to Raymond it went dark.

“Claire, how often are you using the rock to talk to your family?” Raymond asked.

I thought there might be repercussions from the communication, but I felt like I had to check in with my children. I was ready to face the music. “At least once a day, most of the time twice a day but there were two days when it was four times.” I said and waited.

Raymond looked at me for a full minute and I saw everyone wander in to see what was going on. 

“The reason, Madonna, that I told you to use it once or twice a week is there are many rocks connected to each other. They are from a traveling stone that broke. If everyone who has the stone pieces uses them twice a week it’s fine. If one person uses it twice a day no one else can use the rocks for days, maybe weeks until the energy builds back up.” Raymond said and I saw a red flush on his face. He was angry with me.

“I’m sorry, but if you need to contact someone I can make the stone light.” I told him.

“You can make it light here, but the person on the other end can not. You have halted the communication between travelers.” Raymond said.

“Wait, then how come I can talk to my family that’s in my time?” I asked.

“I don’t know how it is working for you, but it has to stop.” He said. “Once more now, to tell them it will be a week before you can talk.” Raymond said and handed me the rock.

I held it and heard the children playing. I lit it and spoke with Fergus, Faith and Murtagh to check on them and let them know it will be a week before I contact them again. Thankfully, everyone was well. Jamie had held my hand and we talked to our family. At the end I handed the rock back to Raymond, told him I was sorry once more and went to my room to lie down.

I felt like a lifeline had just been taken away from me. I knew I shouldn’t be contacting them so much, but when it worked without any issue I just kept on using the rock. It would be seven days until I could talk to my children now.

I undressed to my shift and was crying when Jamie came in. He undressed to his shirt and he held me until I fell asleep.

Jamie woke me several hours later.

“Sassenach, it’s time for supper.” He said and kissed my forehead.

“I’m not getting up. I’m sleeping until I can talk to the children again.” I said through the sheet.

I felt Jamie smile. “Do ye want me to have words with Raymond for scolding ye?” He asked and I took the sheet off.

“No, he’s right, I didn’t use it like he told me. In my defense I didn’t know there were a bunch of other people who used it.” I said.

“Aye, more of an explanation would be helpful on a lot of things from Raymond.” Jamie said and he kissed my cheek.

Despite the shame I felt from being scolded in front of the family, Jamie’s kisses had me stirring. “If we are going to be on time for supper you better stop that.” I said.

“I thought ye were staying here for a week?” Jamie said and kissed my neck again.

I got up and dressed for supper.

***

I expected Jenny, Ian and Brian to avoid me or discuss around what had happened after lunch but I was wrong. Jamie and I sat down, Brain said the blessing and it started.

“I had words with your Mr. Raymond.” Brian said, looking at his plate.

“Over what?” I asked.

“Over scolding my new daughter because she used what she could to talk to her children. How dare he come into our house and talk to ye like that.” Brain said and he looked angry.

“Aye, he should’ve explained his reasons to use it less right from the start.” Jenny said.

“Aye, that is why I asked him to leave.” Ian said.

“What?” Jamie asked.

“I thanked him for all he’d done for our family but told him the way he treated my Sister was unacceptable. I asked him to leave and give us some time with just family.” Ian explained.

“How did he take it?” I asked.

“Raymond said nothing, but Ahote apologized and told us he would be back in time to go with ye to the stones.” Brain said.

I looked at Jamie and smiled. I was still embarrassed, but my in-laws had my back and I was so proud to be one of them.

***

The weeks passed quickly and I spoke to my family back home once a week. Jamie and I played with wee Jamie and the girls as much as we could, likely because it eased the ache of missing our own children. Jenny and Ian were fantastic as usual and the more I got to know Brian the more I liked him. The time we spent with the family was wonderful, but I was ready to go home. I missed my children so much I felt it like a physical ache.

My middle seemed to jump out one morning. The baby seemed to be growing normally, then one day people could tell I was pregnant from yards away. It was almost like he had a growth spurt. I wrote it off to the clothing of the time; you could hide a pregnancy under a dress for months. Everything seemed to be going fine with the pregnancy, except I could tell he had leg muscles already due to his kicking.

If the family we left in 1950 was with us those days would’ve been perfect. 

Even though Jenny tried, Brian couldn't be talked out of wanting to go back to my time with us. I’d agreed to take him through the stones with us and Jamie loved the idea of more time with his Father. I wondered how Murtagh would take it as he was currently our resident elder. Maybe it would be for the best because Murtagh and Jamie were more like friends.

***Jamie’s POV***

Ahote showed up alone five days before the solstice. Claire and I were packed and Da said he was ready. 

Ian, Da and I were in the fields working when we saw a rider going straight to the barn so Da and I went to investigate. When we saw it was Ahote we greeted each other and I asked when we were leaving.

“First light tomorrow if you can be ready in time. The earlier the better. We need to try to go through on the stroke of midnight when it becomes the Solstice.” Ahote said.

“I though ye went through at midnight the night of the solstice?” I asked.

“Yes, that is the best way, but I found out redcoats are expected to pass that way on the solstice, so we have to go through the night before.” Ahote said.

“Is that still safe? My new Daughter is breeding.” Da asked.

“Yes, I know, this is why I am going back through with you. I had planned to wait a day but I think I could help Claire. Do you mind if I speak to her?” Ahote asked.

“Of course, I’d like to check on Claire anyway.” I said and Da pushed my arm good naturedly.

On the walk to the house I asked Ahote how long he’d been traveling through the stones and he astonished me with his answer.

“Eight!?” I asked, thinking I had heard wrong.

“Yes, my father was a traveler and I inherited the ability from him. He taught me a lot and I’ve been traveling ever since.” Ahote said. I looked at him trying to gage his age. From his face I would guess maybe five and twenty, but he seemed like he had more life experience.

“Thirty four, I am thirty four years old.” He told me.

“Aye? I would’ve guessed five and twenty.” I said, looking at the path ahead.

We found Claire and Jenny in the sitting room knitting. I tried not to look at Claire’s hands but the urge was too strong. They weren’t lit. They actually hadn’t been lit since she healed Murtagh through the rock. She saved my children and probably my Godfather, but I would have this burden lifted from her. Claire was already so tired from the bairn she carried, and when she healed it was too much. I wanted her rested and plump.

“Ahote, hello.” Claire said and stood up. Ahote gave her a small bow. He looked at Jenny, who was looking at him, but she turned back to her knitting and said nothing.

I cleared my throat and finally Jenny said hello. Ahote smiled at me, likely to tell me her rudeness was okay but I wasn’t having it.

“Are you and Raymond alright?” Claire asked.

“Yes, I am fine and the last I saw of Raymond he was doing well. I would like us to leave tomorrow morning, will that suit?” Ahote asked.

“Of course, that will be fine. Early I suppose?” Claire asked and smiled. Ahote knew from the last time he took us to the stones, Claire was not a morning person.

“First light would be-” Ahote started to say but he was interrupted by Jenny.

“Wait, tomorrow?” Jenny said as she stood and took Claire’s hand.

“Aye, it’s five days to the Solstice.” I said and looked at her. Janet was not given to displays of emotion and I wondered what had gotten into her.

“Right, right.” She said and slowly let go of Claire’s hand.

Da came in and suggested we go outside and go over the plan where we wouldn’t be overheard, but Jenny said it might be easier to send Mrs. Crook and the kitchen lasses outside to start some laundry so a few minutes later we were sitting around the table eating biscuits and Ahote told them about going through at midnight.

“But, isn’t it usually midnight after the Solstice?” Claire asked.

“It is, but redcoats are scheduled to be in the area on the solstice so it would be a better idea to be gone from there.” Ahote said.

“What about our horses?” Da asked.

“I was thinking maybe Mister or Mister and Mistress Murray could see us off and bring the horses back.” Ahote said and looked at Jenny.

She smiled. I think she’d wanted to see this for a while. “I will speak to Ian and let ye know.” She said, like she’d give Ian a chance to say no.

***

Supper that night was quiet. I know my mind and probably Claire’s was on seeing the children, and we were both eager to be home. As much as this was my family too, I missed my children so much I felt it in my heart.

I know Jenny was worried about Da going with us, and the fact we wouldn’t be able to speak to her but once a week now.

I got Claire to bed early because I wanted her to rest but I also wanted to talk with her. I’d been worried about her hands lighting whenever she tried to heal but it hadn’t happened again, not after Murtagh. She seemed happy about it.

I got her undressed and she undressed me and we got into bed. I sat down first and spread my legs and she sat between my legs and I rubbed her back. This had become our routine because her back hurt so much.

“Mmm, Jamie, that feels good.” She said and her body relaxed back into mine. I couldn’t get to her back anymore so I rubbed her shoulders. 

I kissed her shoulder and asked, “What else hurts Sassenach? What can I do?” I asked her. I liked being her comfort. She was heavier everyday with our bairn and it was my job to bring her physical ease.

She took my hand and kissed my fingers. I leaned into her hair and inhaled the sweet scent of my wife. Then she took a finger into her mouth and sucked it, then lightly bit the tip and I inhaled deeply. She took my hand and put it between her legs, still holding onto a finger. She swirled my finger right around her pulsing bud but never touched it, then she pushed my finger inside of her and I took over. I brought her to climax once and then almost a second time, but I got in front of her and seated myself deep in her.

Claire squeezed my hand and said, “Fast Jamie, hard and fast.” 

I put a pillow behind her and I took her hard and fast.

***

The next morning arrived and Claire and I were both ready. We left quickly, and it helped that Jenny and Ian were both going with us so there were no goodbyes because the children were still asleep.

Claire was in the wagon because she was too far along for a horse to be comfortable. Jenny drove the wagon for a while and she and Claire talked quite a bit. 

“Do ye ever want to ken want the women talk about?” I asked Ian. He laughed and shook his head.

Da was on my other side and he answered, “Trust me son, ye dinna want to ken.”

Ian and I laughed which made Jenny and Claire look at us. This made us laugh more. I saw Claire smiling. As much as this was my time and my people, we were going home and we were happy.


	39. Back to 1950

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!
> 
> I hope every is healthy and happy! 
> 
> There is a part in this chapter where I wanted to make it plain Jamie and Claire's open affection wasn't normal for the time (because it wasn't) but it shows the strength of their relationship and it could be inspiring to another couple. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

It was our second day of travel and it was going well. We hadn’t seen anyone yet and I knew, unfortunately, the Scots traveled in secret during this time if at all. After Culloden the English had devastated these people, my people. Jenny and Ian were doing all they could by hiring as many people as possible. Jamie and I made sure they had plenty of sterling, but we knew too much would look suspicious.

Jenny and Ian were riding with Brian and Jamie and I were driving the wagon. We saw Ahote coming back to us and we all stopped to see what was going on. Ahote rode bareback and he was almost as good with horses as Jamie. He stopped a few feet from us.

“Is everyone alright?” Ahote asked.

“Aye.” Jamie said, looking at his Father, Jenny and Ian to be sure.

“I think we should stop for the night. I know it’s early but we made good time and if we continue it will be dark before we get to a good spot.” Ahote said.

“Aye, that’s fine.” Jamie said and looked to Ian and Brian, both nodding. We made camp for the night and had a small fire. It was plenty warm but we needed to cook the fish that Brian and Ian had caught. Jamie stayed with me; he had been no more than a dozen feet away from me since we left Lallybroch. Jenny had teased him about it once or twice but she told me in private before we left she was really proud of the husband he’d become. I agreed.

That night we were all sitting around the fire telling stories and laughing when Ahote asked me to speak in private. Jamie and I were holding hands and I let go of his hand to stand. Jamie stood and looked at me, then he sat down. I knew what he was saying without saying it. He would let me go if I thought it best but he was asking for no secrets. I looked into his eyes and I knew he was right. 

“It’s okay Ahote, we are family and have no secrets.” I said and Ahote smiled at me.

“Aye Claire.” Ahote said and sat down.

“Aye,? Where are ye from lad?” Brian asked.

Ahote smiled. “I was born in Scotland, just about two hundred and fifty odd years in the future. My Father is a Native American, what you call Indians, but my Mother is Scottish. He visited on vacation, holiday,” He tried to explain at the blank looks, “And he fell in love with my Mother and the land.

“That’s a nice story.” Jenny said.

“Yes, thank you. What I wanted to talk to you about Claire, is I spoke to Nayawenne.” Ahote said and stopped. 

“Who is Nayawenne?” Jenny asked, and “How?” I asked at the same time.

“Let me go back a bit, I’m sure Raymond has given you the ‘everyone has their own special gifts’ speech?” He asked me.

“Yea, it just felt like more vague nonsense.” I replied.

“Claire!’” Jenny said, still surprised at my sharp tongue. I saw Jamie smiling.

“No, she’s right. It isn’t helpful. I look at it this way; God, or whoever your deity is, made sure the fish that Ian caught were fed and fat and in the right place to be caught. Is it really so far-fetched to accept that the same God made sure you would have the skills you need when you traveled through time?” Ahote asked and looked at me.

“When you put it like that it seems almost normal.” I replied. “What is your skill?” I asked Ahote.

“I travel easier. I can travel place to place, like I can get in the stones in Scotland and get out in England, or France, or Italy, or North America. I can also steer the year as long as I have a stone.” He told me.

“That sounds incredible.” I said.

“Absolutely, but healing is also pretty incredible.” Ahote said and adjusted his left leg. He broke it two years ago and he would’ve loved to have been near a healer at the time.

“Sure, but I can’t control it. What if I put my family in danger?” I asked him and Jamie took my hand. Jenny scooted closer to me and took my other hand.

“Ye will nae put ye’r family in danger Claire, that is just not who ye are.” Jenny said.

“She’s right.” Ahote said and paused as everyone looked at him. “I spoke to Nayawenne. Raymond will be upset if he finds out I told you knowledge of your future, but I’m going to anyway.” He said and smiled. “The healing light from your hands, it is for your family only, it is only for the ones you love. They will not light for anyone else. If you are feeling a lot of fear, they willna light then either.” Ahote said. “I don’t think you have to be afraid.”

“What is Nayawenne? Is she a seer?” Jenny asked. I was still thinking about this revelation that my healing was only for my family.

“Not exactly, she is a medicine woman in the tribe. She is training under a wise woman at this time but I saw her at a point in the future when she is dreaming of Claire.” Ahote answered.

“Tis a good thing to have a people showing respect and calling them wise instead of burning them.” Brian said.

Everyone looked into our little fire and agreed with him.

There was quiet for a minute, then I heard Raymond calling for Ahote.

“Raymond is calling for you through the rock.” I said and Ahote looked at me.

“Ye can hear it when it isn’t lit?” He asked me.

“Yes, I hear my children a lot through it.” I replied. I saw Jenny look at Ian.

“Ian man, we are moving the rock to the priest hole when we get home.” Jenny said.

“I don’t listen to you until we’re talking.” I said quietly to Jenny. 

“Weel, I’ll be moving it all the same.” Jenny said. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

Ahote got up to get the rock and light it. Raymond was just checking in to make sure everything was going fine.

After Ahote put the rock away, he came back over and looked at me, then looked away. Then he looked back at me. “Claire, if you can hear through the rocks without lighting them you can pass letters though without lighting them also. You will likely be tired after, but you can do it.” He told me.

“Good to know, thank you.” I said.

“What about food? Can she pass food without lighting the rock? “ Jenny asked Ahote. She looked at me, “We really love the sausage ye sent us.” Jenny told me.

“You can pass food through the rock?” Ahote asked, seeming surprised.

“Didn’t I just tell ye that, we ken she can do it, she sends us food.” Jenny said and looked at Ian.

“I don’t know anyone who can pass food through the rocks.” Ahote said looking at me with large eyes. “You should be able to pass anything though without lighting the rock, it’s the back and forth conversation that drains it,” Ahote said, trailing off, then asked, “ Claire, can I contact you if I need food?”

“Sure, you’ve helped us so much I would gladly help you.” I said and tried to smile but I yawned and stroken the baby that was kicking inside me.

“Bed.” Jamie said and stood. He helped me stand and we washed up, then went to our tent. I was so ungainly with our growing child Jamie had to help me into the tent. We slept in the wagon the first night but when we woke I wanted him, badly. Making love in a wagon doesn’t give a couple any privacy, so we were in a tent tonight.

“Help me.” I said, trying to get my clothes off. He helped me get down to my shift but I wanted that off too. I lay on our bed roll and waited for him. When he lay down with his shirt on I started pulling it off.

“Sassenach, will ye leave me my shirt?” He asked.

“No, I need you naked.” I said and he smiled at me, but he did take his shirt off.

We lay down and spooned. Jamie grunted as I pushed my bottom farther into him. I felt his hand rubbing our child. I also felt his erection.

“Jamie.” I said and wiggled the plump arse he loved so much on him. I tried to roll over but Jamie held me in place.   
  


“Sassenach,” He said softly in my ear, “Da is nay ten feet away.”

“But Jamie,” I said ready to argue.

“Shush,  mo ghràdh, I will nay leave ye wanting.” He said very low, and very softly in my ear. I felt gooseflesh on my shoulder from his breath. He moved around me so he was in front of me and his hands were on my breasts, then he took my mouth in a searing kiss. I felt a tingle all the way down my spine and I sucked his tongue while I pulled him closer.

He skimmed over my protruding belly and he found me hot and wet between my legs.

“Sassenach, ye are so wet.” He said smiling, he loved to find me ready for him.

I had my hands in his hair pulling his mouth to me. He had two fingers inside me and I was not able to speak, but I did wrap my hand around his very hard erection and maneuvered myself closer to it.

“Vixen.” Jamie said as put one hand on my back and pulled me to him so he could take my mouth again and he entered me hard. He put my legs around him and took me exactly the way I wanted. If I could have, I would have sighed with relief feeling his cock in me. 

Someone was moaning. Me? “Be quiet Sassenach.” Jamie said and tried to kiss me again but my release had hit me quickly and I started to groan while Jamie covered my mouth to quiet me. He sped up the pace and I felt his release.

Afterwards, he wiped me between my legs but I was already falling asleep.

***

Jamie’s POV

I woke before Claire which was normal. I dressed and left the tent to check the few trap lines Ian had set yesterday. We were running low on meat and Claire needed it to take us through the stones.

“Braw morning, is it no.” Da said. He was sitting a few feet away and was smiling at me. My mind immediately went to last night and I got embarrassed.

“Aye, ‘tis. I’m going to check the trap lines.” I said and didn’t look at him. I was happy with the intimacy between Claire and I but it was a private thing and I guessed Da had heard us last night. 

“I’ll go with ye.” Da said and we left camp. 

Nothing was said for a while, but as soon as we were far enough away from camp he said, “So ye and Claire are mighty close?” I could hear a smile in his voice and knew he heard everything. He is my Father and I respect and love him, but I am a man grown and would not accept disrespect to my wife. I stopped and turned to face him.

“Aye, we are mighty close, and she is with bairn so I will give her anything she wants even if it seems ill timed. If ye want to have a go teasing me it’s fine, but I tell ye now say nothing to Claire because I willna stand it. Sir.” I told him. My face was hot and I am sure quite red. Da looked surprised.

“Mo mac, I willna tease ye, I am proud of my son who has such a way with his wife. I am proud ye choose such a wife; I am sure it was difficult because she is English.” He said and put his hand on my shoulder.

“It never was, not for me anyway. I didn’t care she was English. I knew, as ye told me I would, I knew she was the one for me and nothing else mattered.” I told him, thinking about the time before we were married.

“I am proud of the way ye are with ye’r wife, ye two are a good match. Ian and Jenny are a good match too, but they are more subdued and fine to be so. Yer Mother would be proud of the families ye both have made.” Da said and patted my shoulder before removing his hand. “Now let's go check the trap lines.” he said.

I followed him somewhat surprised. We had three rabbits, and we headed back to camp. 

When I got back Claire was trying to get out of the tent. Jenny was standing next to the opening of the tent and I realized Claire couldn’t dress herself in the tent because she didn’t have enough space. I needed to convince her to get back in the wagon tonight.

I handed Da the rabbits and went to help Claire from the tent. When I got her out she was wearing her shift and I took the dress and things from Jenny who smiled at me and walked away. I helped Claire to dress and put her hair up. Afterwards, she put her arms around me and hugged me tight to her.

“I’m tired already.” She whispered in my ear. I smiled and kissed her gently, then reached in her dress pocket and handed her the extra pins for her hair.

“Good morning mo chridhe.” I said and kissed her lightly again.

“Good morning my heart.” She said translating my gaelic back to me. We turned around and started to the campfire ring only to stop and see Ian, Jenny and Da staring at us. Ahote was occupied with the rabbits.

“What?” Claire asked then her hands went to her hair, thinking it was standing up.

“Ye look fine siùir, it is only,” Jenny said but paused to find the right word, “Ye two are quite loving.”

“Are we no among our family?” I asked. Ian looked at Ahote.

“Ahote, ye are so much of our lives I consider ye family, but if we offend ye-” I was saying but he cut me off.

“No, you two do not offend me at all. Seeing affection between people gives me hope for people in general.” Ahote said and smiled at us. “Claire, what can I put in this to help you eat more meat?” Ahote was holding a skinned rabbit.

Claire swallowed. “Jenny, do we have any of your broth left?” she asked.

“Aye Claire, I will get ye some.” Jenny said.

And so the subject of our affection was put aside for the moment, which was a good thing. Claire was looking embarrassed so I was getting angry.

We ate and broke camp to keep moving. Ahote drove the wagon today so we walked behind the wagon and Claire rode with me. She didn’t straddle the horse, so it was a little more difficult but I was able to hold onto her even when she fell asleep.

Da rode next to me and smiled at us. I was excited for him to see the family that would be waiting for us.

Ian and Jenny kept to themselves, but there were a lot of looks and kisses between them. It was almost like someone had to do it first, then it was alright. 

That night Claire and I slept in the wagon and when my wife wanted me I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t try to keep her quiet either.

**********

Claire’s POV

I will miss Jenny and Ian very much. Being with them for weeks again and then traveling with them was wonderful. It was obvious they’d heard Jamie and I in the tent a few nights ago and it had been weird in the morning. I was embarrassed, but it passed and I saw Jenny and Ian kiss for the first time that day. I think it was worth the embarrassment.

The night before last Jamie and I slept in the wagon again and we made love. He didn’t even try to keep me quiet. Yesterday morning when we got up and made our way to the fire ring Jenny and Ian were sitting together and holding hands, and kissing. I saw Brian sitting near where he’d slept smiling a very proud smile. I think he was happy his surviving children were happy, or maybe I was just guessing at how I would feel.

***

Since I napped in the back of the wagon the trip was going fast for me. Somehow it was the day before the solstice and we were camped near the stones. Our group was subdued. We’d started with a different atmosphere; in the beginning of a journey one never thinks of the goodbyes to come.

We were waiting until midnight and Jamie and Ahote were patrolling the area to be sure we were safe. Jenny and Ian were sitting together and I was on the other side of the ring, Brian was walking around; I think he was restless with Jamie and Ahote gone.

At first I didn’t realize it but I’d started to cry. I’d told myself not to cry because it made Jenny uncomfortable. I put my hands over my face and thought again of Fergus and Faith, Brianna and Alex. I felt an arm come around me on both sides and looked up.

“So, how soon can ye send me some sausage siùir?” Ian asked and I laughed out loud.

Jenny wiped my tears. 

“Tomorrow mo bràthair,” I said, calling him my brother in the Gaelic,” I will get some tomorrow morning and send it to ye.”

“Ian man, we didna bring the rock, we will wait till Sunday.” Jenny said stroking my arm.

“Aye, I did bring it. I thought ye would want to know right away they arrived safe.” Ian said and I saw her thanks to him in her eyes.

I took each of their hands. “I’m sorry to be emotional, but I will miss you so much, Jamie and I both miss you so much.” I said, trying to stop my crying.

“Aye, we miss ye too, but we know Jamie is safe, Murtagh is safe, and ye do that Claire. You take him to safety and we will always be grateful.” Jenny said and I took her hand in mine.

I looked up to see Jamie and Ahote watching us.

“If you light the rock briefly, just a few seconds to let them know you are sending things through it won’t drain the rock as talking for a while does. I know I am telling you ways to get around Raymond’s rules, but,” Ahote shrugged his shoulders and trailed off, “This is what I do. If I keep the conversation to under a minute, it works out fine.” Ahote said and smiled at me.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I said and smiled. “Is it time?” I asked. I was still sitting there holding Jenny and Ian’s hands.

“Mmhm” Ahote made that Scotish noise signaling assent, “It will take an hour or so to get to the stones and we need to leave the wagon here.” He said. Jenny, Ian and I stood.

“Are you sure the two of you will be fine traveling back by yourselves?” I asked. I was worried about their safety.

“Aye Sister, we will be fine. We brought some sterling and we’re going into Inverness to buy some goods and fabric so we will have a verre good reason to be traveling in case we are stopped by lobster backs.” Jenny said. I was glad she had a plan and she sounded excited about the shopping.

We set off to the stones. Jamie and I walked because I wanted to. Ahote rode a horse and Jenny and Ian shared a horse. That way they would only have to bring two horses back to the wagon.

I thought Jamie and I would talk, but it felt right not to speak. We held hands and I was mentally trying to prepare myself to go through the stones again. 

Ahote had told me not to focus on the screams, or the pulling, or the feeling separated from yourself. He said to set your mind on where you are going and try to forget the rest. I didn’t know how I would do this, but I would try. Ahote was much more experienced than I was and much more helpful than Raymond. 

I was still feeling uncharital to Raymond. It was odd because I did what he told me not to do, so the scolding was well deserved. I just wished he’d told me the reason! I would never have used the rocks so much if I knew my actions would keep other people from communicating. I thought I used it sparingly because it wouldn’t work all the time, then when it did work more often I thought it was fine.

I will have to clear the air with Raymond another time. I needed to focus on the stone. I worried they would try to hold onto Brian because he’d been in the stones for a longer time before. When I asked Ahote what he thought, he had no idea. 

So we walked. I tried to breath in the silence, to absorb it almost. My time was so much noisier. I could tell Jamie was lost in his own thoughts too.

All too soon we were there, at the bottom of the hill. I could hear the stones already.

“Claire, I have the gemstones.” Ahote said and Jamie and Brian took rings with rubies in them. “I have a black diamond for you,” Ahote pulled a gold necklace with a large diamond in the center, “The black diamond offers more protection and since you're pregnant…” He said trailing off.

“Thanks.” I said and put the necklace on.

“Thank ye Ahote.” Jamie said.

“Jenny,” I said and hugged her, then Ian. “When we get to the top, the stones are too loud and I can’t hear anything. Please, keep each other safe.” I said.

“Ye do the same Claire, ye do the same.” Ian said and Jenny had a few tears on her cheek. 

Jamie wiped his sister’s tears away and hugged her for a long moment. He shook Ian’s hand, then hugged him too.

When Brian hugged his daughter he pulled her up into his arms and swung her like a child and Jenny laughed. “I will be back mo nighean, see about getting me another grandchild.” Brian said and I think Jenny blushed.

“Ian, mo mac, ye are a good man and I am glad my daughter chose ye.” Brian said and shook Ian’s hand.

Ahote shook hands with Jenny and Ian, then nodded at me. It was time.

We started up the hill; Jamie had to help me in many places. When we finally got to the top Jamie was one side of me while Brian was on the other and we linked arms as Ahote had instructed us. He would come after to be sure everything was fine.

I looked over at Jenny and hoped she wouldn’t judge me a witch for what we were about to do. She smiled and nodded to me, like she was ready for me to go and I looked at Ahote who was ready also.

I focused on my home, my children, Lallybroch in 1950, everything to get us to the right time and walked into the stone. Right before I heard the chaos in the stone I heard Jenny invoking the saints. I kept thinking of my children and not Jenny because I was afraid it would spit us out right where we came from.

The trip through the stones were like every other one and I was done with the chaos. Only a second through I yelled stop again, like I had when I found Faith and everything quieted long enough for us to step out and fall over.

***

Jamie’s POV

Claire brought us through the stone and I ended up on my hands and knees vomiting. As soon as I could get the words out I yelled for my Claire.

“Sassenach!” I yelled and looked around. 

I tried to stand but I was not steady yet. I saw Da and crawled over to him. “Da, are ye alright?” I asked. I saw he’d vomited also.

“Aye, a short trip but nay an easy one.” He said. I figured he was doing okay. 

Strong arms lifted me and I turned to see Murtagh. I hugged him then asked, “Claire, do ye see her?”

“Nay, Violet, turn ye’re light on” He said and I saw Violet a few feet away and she had one of those flashlights that she switched on. 

She moved the light over the area around the stones and I didn’t see Claire.

“Claire!” I yelled loudly, and again.

Violet handed us more flashlights and it became clear my wife wasn’t there.

Ahote stepped out of the traveling stone and looked at us. He didn’t look like it affected him at all. He turned and saw Murtagh and Violet.

“Is young Murtagh with you? We need him.” Ahote said.

“Aye, I’ll get him.” Murtagh said and went down the hill.

“Where is Claire?” I asked, grabbing Ahote.

“Young Murtagh can get her.” Ahote said calmly.

“That doesna tell me where she is!” I said and tried to grab him again but my Da had my arm.

“If ye throttle the man he canna get yer wife.” Da said and I took a few steps back.

In another minute Murtagh came up the hill carrying two large child seats and Fergus was pushing the stroller that likely had Faith in it.

“Why did ye bring our children when I canna give them their Mother?”I asked Murtagh.

“Because young Murtagh was watching them and I willna leave them alone.” Murtagh said.

“Where is Maman?” Fergus asked.

Young Murtagh came over the hill carrying what looked to be a heavy box. “What is it Ahote?” he asked. 

Ahote looked at Brian, and I think made a quick judgement to call young Murtagh’s Grandmother Claire to avoid the many questions Da would ask.

“Claire is stuck, I think she was conflicted or something and-” Ahote said but I cut him off.

“Conflicted, what do ye mean?” I asked him.

“Jamie, I could either answer your questions now, or we could get Claire and answer your questions later.” Ahote said and waited for me to back off.

Da pulled my arm so I stepped back and realized how close I was to Ahote. “I’m sorry, please just bring her home.” I said and went to Fergus.

I didn’t say anything, I just hugged him. Faith, Brianna and Alex were asleep, but I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for all four of my children and asked him to bring their Mother home. 

Young Murtagh and Ahote were talking then they rummaged through a box. Da came to stand next to me.

“Da, this is Fergus, our oldest son.” I said with both my hands on Fergus’s shoulders. I was very proud of Fergus and I wanted him to know it.

“Hello Sir, it is nice to meet ye.” Fergus said and offered his hand to shake. 

Da smiled at him, shook his head and brought Fergus in for a hug. “Your Da has spoken a lot about ye, he is very proud, and call me Grandda, not sir.” Da said.

“Aye Grandda.” Fergus said. He smiled at me, and came back to stand next to me. 

I was introducing Da to our other three children when I saw Ahote and young Murtagh go into the traveling stone. 

Fergus put his hand in mine and stood a little taller. “Dinna fash Da, Maman is strong and she is like magic, they will bring her home.” He said and I squeezed his hand.

It felt like hours passed holding that little hand in mine and watching the stroller and the car seats while keeping an eye one the stone. It was likely only a minute or two.

The wind kicked up and Faith woke up asking for her Muta. Murtagh picked her up, but then she saw me and jumped in my arms.

A second later Ahote stepped out of the travelling stone, then young Murtagh carried Claire out. 

I could see her head lolling and put Faith in Murtagh’s arms then ran to take Claire.

“Sassenach, wake up.” I kept saying. I went to my knees with her in my arms to touch her head.

“Maybe we just need to get her back home, to rest?” Violet said. I knew she was concerned for her friend but I didn’t want to just wait and see. Claire is my world and if she isn’t okay then nothing is okay.

“Ahote, do ye have the blue light stone like Raymond?” I asked, trying to sound civil.

“No, only Raymond.” He replied.

“Can we ask him for help?” I asked, looking at young Murtagh and Ahote.

“He scolded her for doing something completely-” Da was saying.

“Da, I dinna care if he can help her. I will apologize a thousand times if he will help her.” I said and cradled Claire closer to me.

“Aye Grandda.” Young Murtagh said and took a small rock out of his box. He had it lit and was speaking to Raymond in less than a minute.

Another minute later and Raymond walked through the stone.

“Raymond, where were you-” Ahote was asking but Raymond cut him off.

“Where is Madonna?” Raymond asked and looked at us on the ground.

Raymond got on the ground right next to me and opened his bag to pull out the blue stone. 

“This man-” Da started but I stopped him.

“Can help my wife.” I said and Da was quiet.

Raymond ran his blue stone over her and started talking to me. “She has a broken bone in her arm, her left ulna, and she has a concussion.” He said and looked at me.

“Can ye fix it?” I asked.

“I could make her wake, but she will be in a lot of pain. It might be better to take her to the hospital.” He said and waited for me to make the choice.

“I will take her, thank ye Raymond.” I said and he almost smiled at me. I could tell he was worried about Claire also.

“Murtagh, did ye bring both cars?’ I asked.

“We brought three.” he said and waited for instruction. I briefly wondered where the third car had come from but I let it go.

“Good, two cars can take the children home and one can take us to the hospital.” I said and looked at Murtagh.

“Jamie, do you mind-” Raymond started awkwardly but I cut him off.

“Ahote, Raymond ye are both welcome to stay with us if ye’d like.” I said and carried Claire down the hill. Murtagh, young Murtagh and Da were carrying the children. We loaded up and headed out. Young Murtagh, Da, Claire and I were going to the hospital.


	40. How to love fiercely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I want to thank everyone for the wonderful comments! I read every one of them and I appreciate it!
> 
> This chapter is a little busy and long, I thought about dividing it up but I couldn't find a good place.
> 
> Disclaimer- Diana Gaboldon owns these characters.

I was hearing a conversation and trying to open my eyes that felt like they’d been glued shut.

“You take your shots because they will help keep you well. I don’t have to know anything else, that is what my Maman said, and I trust her.” That was Fergus!

“I understand that, but the needle hurts, how does doing something that hurts help keep you well?” Another voice asked, Brian?

“You are going to be in for a surprise when you get the smallpox vaccine if you think that one hurt.” Fergus said and I heard him laugh.

“Fergus!” I said and reached for him. 

“Maman!” Fergus said and was in my arms. Well, arm, The other one was tied to me.

“Oh Fergus, I have missed you so much.” I said and was kissing his cheek. He giggled and put his arms around my shoulders.

“Brian, is that you?” I asked and opened my hand. 

He took it, “Yes, but ye must get used to calling me Da. Child, go get _your_ Da.” Brian said.

Fergus must’ve gone to the door and yelled ‘Da’ because that is what it sounded like. I then heard pounding footsteps.

“Is she alright?” Jamie asked.

“Jamie?” I asked and held my arm out.

“Sassenach” He said and came to me. He put his arms around me and lifted me off the bed a bit.

“Jamie, something is pulling on my arm.” I said and he let me back down on the bed.

“Why can’t I see?” I asked. “I can’t seem to open my eyes. What’s going on?” I asked.

“Weel, ye can’t open yer eyes right now because there is a bandage around yer head, hold on.” Jamie said and he adjusted it farther up on my forehead.

I had no words. I opened my eyes and Fergus was standing in front of the bed looking fearful.

“Fergus, will you sit with me?” I said and he smiled and came right to me. I put my arm around him and kissed the top of his head. “ I missed you so much.” I said and tried not to cry.

“How are we doing?” Said an unfamiliar nurse who came in.

“I’m very good, thank you. How’s the baby?” I asked.

“We’ve already checked the baby, he’s fine, it was you we worried about.” The nurse said.

I heard Jamie gasp. “He?” Jamie asked and I could’ve slapped the nurse.

“Yes, the child your wife is carrying is a boy.” She said and Jamie sat on the bed and held my hand.

“Another son Claire.” Jamie whispered and took Fergus’s hand also.

“I'll alert the doctor that you’re awake.” The nurse said and left the room.

“How do they know if the bairn is a lad or lass?” Brian asked.

“The modern age of science.” Fergus replied. I laughed and held Fergus closer to me.

“I will explain it later, when we are home.” I said and smiled at Brian. He looked like he was afraid to move the wrong way or he might break something. I felt for him. Jamie and Murtagh learned all this to stay safe but he came only to get to know his grandchildren.

I saw him adjust on the seat again and I had a thought. “Jamie, did you show your Da the restroom?” I asked quietly and Jamie looked blank.

“Nope. Good idea.” He said and got up.

“Da, let’s take a walk.” Jamie said and stood.

Fergus jumped up too. “I want to see this, be right back Maman.” He said and kissed me on the cheek.

I smiled watching them go. Fergus was so smart and full of energy. 

Once I was alone my mind went back to the stones. Why had I been so foolish? I didn’t berate myself for long because a familiar doctor came into my room.

“Claire, what happened? Is someone hurting you? That husband of yours is big.” Doctor Anderson asked.

“No, no one is hurting me, unless you count my liver then my soon to be footballer is to blame.” I replied and Jamie walked back in the room looking perplexed and I guessed he’d heard some of what I said.

“What happened then? And why are ye dressed that way?” Doctor Anderson asked.

“Weel, that would be my fault Doctor,” Jamie said, “I had it in my head to dress the family in costume and have a picture taken at the fairy hill, but then my wife fell.” Jamie said.

“Did ye get the picture?” The Doctor asked.

“Nay, when Claire fell we rushed here and the rest of the family went home.” Jamie said.

“That’s a shame, it’s a good idea.” Doctor Anderson said and smiled.

“I’m guessing you want to go home as soon as possible, even though I think you should stay the night?” He asked me.

“Yes, I want to go home.” I told him.

“Can ye be in my office first thing tomorrow? And can someone drive ye as we have to cast that arm before ye leave.” Doctor Anderson asked me.

I looked at Jamie, he was giving me the ‘what am I going to do with you’ smile. “Yes Doctor, what time works? Eight, nine in the morning?” I asked.

“Make it 9:30, I like my sleep.” The Doctor said and handed Jamie some papers. “These are the reasons ye will need to bring her back, and this explains how to care for her, can ye do this?” He asked.

“Yes sir, can ye give me the address of yer office?” Jamie asked.

Nurse Drever poked her head in, “Claire!” She came to my bed and gave me a gentle hug. “I’m here to get ye to put a cast on ye, let’s talk about yer babies.” She said and put me in a wheelchair and we left the room.

I looked back at Jamie, he was looking at me and seemed a little pale. I wondered if it was because he didn’t know what a cast is.

Another hour later and we were in the car heading home. Jamie was driving and Brian was in the front seat; they were talking about automobiles and Brian was impressed that his son could drive.

Fergus was laying in my lap and I stroked his hair and I closed my eyes. I was asleep in another minute.

Jamie was trying to wake me and from the other side I felt someone try to take Fergus. I was awake in a second and I yelled, “No!”

“I’m just carrying the lad to his bed.” Brian said

Fergus was awake and clutching me. “I’m sorry, I was dreaming. Fergus, your Grandda is safe, I’m sorry I yelled.” I kissed the top of his head, and Brian helped him out of the car.

Murtagh. Young Murtagh and Violet were on the porch. Murtagh came down the steps first and pushed Jamie out of the way. “What is it lass, what happened?” Murtagh said and helped me out of the car.

“Nothing, I was dreaming and I yelled in the dream, I’m sorry.” I said and I hugged Murtagh.

I saw young Murtagh behind him and I hugged him too. For a long time. Then I started to cry.

He was patient, and held me, rubbing my back. After a few minutes I drew back and said, “Thank you.” quietly but meaningfully.

I took Jamie’s hand and we went into the house. Brian was standing in the kitchen looking around. “Is there a bed for Brian?” I asked Violet.

“Och, aye, we finished the large room at the end of the hall upstairs.” Violet said.

“Thank you, will you please show him his room, I am exhausted.” I said and hugged both of them. 

I took Jamie’s hand and we went to our bedroom.

Violet, probably, had dusted and put fresh flowers on my dresser. I turned to face Jamie, who’d been so quiet. “I know I owe you an explanation, and I will give it to you, but for tonight can we just sleep?” I asked.

“Aye Sassenach, come here.” He said and I went. I would always go to him.

He helped me undress and then he undressed in half the time it took me. We crawled in bed and just held each other. I was asleep in minutes.

The next morning I woke listening to the noise of the house and I smiled. I couldn’t wait to see Faith, Brianna and Alex. I wondered if we could call him Brian now, since Brian was alive. Might make things confusing. Alex was fine, he looked like an Alex to me now.

Jamie stroked my back and murmured something. He smelled my hair and sighed, still stroking my back but making his way lower. I purred in response. I wondered if he knew I was awake.

I moved my hips back a little and felt his hardness, then rubbed myself on him and felt him throb. “Vixen.” Jamie whispered in my ear. He lifted one of my legs and he rubbed his cock where I was getting warm already. Everytime he got close my breath hitched a bit because I thought he would enter me but he didn’t.

“Jamie, now.” I said, wanting him inside me. He made that scottish noise in his throat and let my leg down and took his beautiful cock away.

“Jamie!” I said starting to get up but he had a finger inside me and he was kissing my neck. I was breathing heavy and then he inserted another finger.

I was moaning. “Sassenach,” Jamie whispered hotly in my ear, “Yer honeypot is so wet, so slick, it’s dripping.” he said and I moaned again.

“That is because you are supposed to be inside me.” I said a few words at a time because Jamie had increased his speed. Then he rubbed me with his other hand.

He kissed me as my climax took me.

A few minutes later I was reaching for my husband when he backed away from me. “Jamie?” I said in hurt confusion.

“The doctor said no sexual relations until he looks at ye this morning.” Jamie said and I groaned.

“I forgot about that.” I said in dismay. “Can you help me up? I want to go get a shower.” I asked Jamie and he helped me up.

I put a pair of pajamas on and my robe. I had gotten so big while I was gone I wouldn’t fit into much.

“Come on, I want to see the children!” I said to Jamie who was still finding a shirt.

When he was dressed I opened the door to see Fergus holding the group back. As soon as they saw me I sat on the floor to a chorus of “Mama’s and Dada’s”

Jamie was sitting behind me and he had Brianna and Alex now while Faith was trying to figure the new me out.

“Mama, what is this, why are ye fat? And take that off yer arm, I dinna like it.” She said. I laughed, I couldn’t help it.

“I’m not fat, this is your baby brother, he is growing inside me, just like you did.” I told her. I didn’t even approach the cast yet.

“It’s a boy…” Faith said and looked at Fergus, then smiled, “Okay, that’s fine.” She said and I looked at Fergus too. 

Faith switched with Alex and he had baby questions too, just less mature ones. After explaining it as well as I could he started talking to my stomach. “Baby brother, come out to play.” He said and I smiled. I hugged him again.

After I had three hugs from everyone, including Fergus, Jamie had to help me up, again. We went to the kitchen and I saw everyone sitting there. 

“Do we have any help coming in today Violet?” I asked as I sat down.

“Nay, I thought we might need some time to get back to normal. Lily is dropping off a meal at noon and Flora is dropping off a meal at five for supper, then they switch times tomorrow.” Violet said.

“Where are Lewis, Martin and Gordon?” I asked. I hadn’t seen them yet today.

“Gone,” Murtagh said coming back into the kitchen from his bedroom carrying Ben, “I drove them to the train station this morning.” I sighed and Murtagh went on to explain, “When their parents died they had grandparents alive but no way of contacting them so they went to the orphanage. We talked and they told me they wanted to go look for them.” Murtagh said and looked at me.

I took a breath to ask something, but he continued, “I made sure Gordon saw Dr. Alice before they left and I bought him a couple months worth of medicine for his breathing problems and I gave them plenty of money, and I told them if they needed anything to contact us.” Murtagh said, smirking at me.

“Thank you, you took care of everything.” I said and smiled at him. “I have to see a doctor this morning so I’m going to grab a shower and get dressed.” I said.

“In yer closet are a couple outfits for maternity. I thought ye might have grown some in the middle.” Violet said, smiling and looking at my middle..

“And what Murtagh didn’t think of you did, thank you.” I said to Violet and went to shower.

I heard Jamie behind me, “I hav’ ta help her, the cast ye know.” I smiled thinking of us both in the shower.

We did take a shower together. It took much longer than if I had been alone, but it was fun. We made it to the doctor’s office with five minutes to spare.

Doctor Anderson looked me over and asked about the medical care I was seeing for the baby. I told him about Dr. Alice and surprisingly, he knew her and approved of her. He told me I was fine and to be careful with my head.

Jamie and I went to the grocery store after the appointment was over. We thought about looking for clothes but I told him the children likely needed more things so I would just wait until we had them with us.

We did load up at the store. We figured we had another person to feed and we wanted Brian to know we could get plenty of food so he didn’t worry.

When we got home and Jamie was carrying the bags in Fergus, Murtagh and young Murtagh automatically got up and went out to help with the bags.

Brian got up and looked at us. “What are we doing?” He asked.

“The men carry in the food, that's all, sit Da, they have it.” Jamie said.

“What did ye get?” Brian asked.

I sat next to him. “There is a large grocery store near here where you can go in and buy most any type of food. It makes it easier.” I said and Brian nodded. He looked like he was thinking about it.

Jamie brought in his second load and he said, “Maybe we did get too much, the lads are nay here anymore.” 

“Hmm, you’re right. I wish I could’ve said goodbye.” I said.

Murtagh brought in a load and said, “Maybe hello will do better, they are supposed to call when they get where they are staying for the night.”

“That’s great! Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” I asked.

“Because I figured it would be better news when ye were pining.” Murtagh said and laughed.

We got the groceries put away and I sat down to eat sausage and banana bread from breakfast. As I was finishing Jamie, Violet, young Murtagh, Murtagh, Brian and Fergus sat at the table.

I looked at them. “Do you want something to eat?” I asked.

“Nay Claire, ye owe us the explanation of what happened after ye brought Da and I through.” Jamie said and I nodded.

“You’re right, I do. Let me get-” I said but Violet cut me off.

“I will get ye a nice glass of milk, aye?” She asked me.

“Yes, thanks.” I said.

I turned to the table. I hadn’t planned on telling it this way, I’d thought I would explain it privately to Jamie, but that wouldn’t be fair.

“Okay. When we were going into the stones I heard Jenny- Where are the children? I don’t want them to hear it.” I said.

“I got them down for naps. It’s a little early but they were tired after last night. All but Ben anyway.” Violet said. I looked at Murtagh who carried Ben against his chest.

I sighed then started again. “When we were going into the stone I heard Jenny gasp and she made the sign of the cross and started praying. I was worried she might think I was a witch or something, and after I had you two to safety I thought I would go back, for just a minute, to make sure she didn’t think poorly of me.” I said and took a drink of the milk.

“But, obvious to me now, I couldn’t get back. I had one stone and it helped to guide me well, it took me less time to get us to the other side. Then it was gone and after I started to go back I got stuck, I couldn’t get anywhere.” I said and shuddered.

“I wrapped my hands around our child and hoped someone could get me.” I looked at young Murtagh with tears in my eyes and it was just then I saw Raymond and Ahote standing in the doorway.

“Since young Murtagh can get his blood relations I got him to help me pull you out. We each wore four stones, we put two on you and they were all gone when we arrived back in this time.” Ahote said.

“They were trying to get to the child. You were wrapped in a ball when I found ye, that is how ye broke yer arm, a … thing was pulling it trying to get to your baby.” Young Murtagh said.

“I remember.” I said. I remembered it all, quite unfortunately. “They were kicking my head too, that’s how I got the concussion. Why did they want my baby?” I asked Raymond. Jamie and Brian were staring at me with open mouths.

“What is in there are human beings that have been in a twisted reality way too long. A twisted reality twists your thoughts. By now everything that lives in there knows you can take people out, and I think they were thinking if they got your baby out of you then you had room to take them out. I don’t know for sure, they try to hold onto everyone that passes but Ahote told me what he saw and I have never seen that before.” Raymond said.

“I traveled back when I was pregnant before and this didn’t happen, why now?” I asked. “I mean, I know things try to grab at you, that seems to happen every time. I never saw faces before.” I said and the gooseflesh rose on my arms.

“You only took someone, two people, out the last time you traveled back. This was the first time since and now they know you can take people so they might be more bold and forceful in the future.” Raymond told me. 

“I don’t want to tell you want to do, but it would be in your best interests if you weren’t pregnant when you pass back through. Also, a black diamond is hard to find, but it would be helpful.” Ahote said.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Jamie kept looking at me and I knew we would be talking about this later.

“Madonna, I’m sorry-” Raymond started but I interrupted him.

“Nope, I know what you are going to say but I did go against what you told me. How about you agree to explain things better to me, and I agree to follow the rules better?” I said. Raymond smiled.

“That will do Madonna, that will do fine.” Raymond said and came over to me and gave me a hug. “I am so glad you and the baby are well.”

Raymond stood up and walked back to Ahote. “Ahote and I are both leaving, we just wanted to be sure you were alright.” Raymond said.

“Wait, don’t you want to eat? Do you need anything?” I asked standing up.

“Mrs Violet already fed us and packed us food bags.” Ahote said and he came over for his hug.

Everyone said goodbye and Ahote asked if he could come back in September.

“Of course, you are welcome anytime. What is going on in September?” I asked and he looked at my ever-increasing middle. I laughed.

They left and I didn’t know when I would see Raymond again, but things were alright between us and I felt good about that. 

I sat back down and I asked for our rock, I was late letting Jenny and Ian know we were alright.

I lit it and called Jenny’s name.

“We’re here Claire, is everyone alright?” Jenny asked.

“Aye lass, we’re braw!” Brian said and Jenny laughed.

“I’m so relieved, when ye went through the rock and the wind kicked up and the lights came from the rock I thought Jesus himself might show up.” Jenny said. I laughed and cried a little. I was so relieved she didn’t say she thought the devil might show up.

I took the paper backing off a few muffins, “Jenny, here are some muffins.” I handed them through the rock and Brian looked shocked. I had a block of cheese opened and handed that through too.

“Aye, we got them, thank ye Claire.” Ian said.

“Are you two okay, where are you?” I asked.

Jenny giggled. GIGGLED. “Ah, weel, we got a room in Inverness and we haven’t left, but we plan on setting out tomorrow. We’re braw too.” Ian said

We said our goodbyes and made a plan to pass letters in two days. I closed the rock and Brian was looking at me.

“Are ye a fairy lass, or what are ye?” Brian asked.

“She’s just magik, she is nothing to be afraid of.” Fergus said standing up and coming to my side. I put my good arm around him and held him close.

“It’s alright Fergus, all this is new for your Grandda.” I said and hugged Fergus closer.

Jamie came around the table and kissed me. He gave me an odd look. “Da, why don’t ye come have a look at the stable, we’ve got four-” Jamie was saying but Murtagh cut him off.

“Six, we have six braw horses and two ponies.” Murtagh said. Jamie clapped Murtagh on the back.

“Now I have to go to the barn.” Jamie said and he, young Murtagh, Brian and Murtagh headed out after depositing Ben in my arms.

***-----***

Violet and I were in the living room. She was knitting and talking about everything that happened when we were away but it seemed like, except for the sickness, everything was normal and I was happy about that.

I was in the rocking chair holding Ben who was asleep. He was on top of my stomach, wedged a bit and he seemed to like it. I drifted off to sleep and woke at the sound of the doorbell. There were pillows on both my sides and I looked to Violet who had just put down her knitting.

“I was afraid Benny might slide off ye before I could get him.” Violet said.

I laid Ben down in the little bassinet and Lily came in with a lunch to feed an army. We said hello and she felt my stomach, because everyone thought they had a right to touch a pregnant woman. I smiled through it and reminded myself she was just being kind.

We brought the food in and Violet and I thanked her. She told me she was glad I was home and I smiled. When she left I stood by the table and just looked at it all.

“Should we call the men?” Violet asked.

“No, they should be here any time, I’m sure they saw her car.” I said to justify the fact that I didn’t want to get up. I was hungry.

Violet and I ate, then I went to lay down for a while.

***---***

Jamie came in to wake me for dinner. When I opened my eyes he was sitting on the bed holding my hand.

“Thank ye for fighting for our child. I’m sorry I was nay with ye to help.” He said softly.

“But I didn’t fight, I laid on the ground and tried to protect him. If I moved one arm from our boy they were going to claw through my skin to hurt him.” I told him. I wished I could've fought.

“Aye, I see the scratch marks and the bruises all over ye.” Jamie said and stroked my arm. “But ye did fight, ye covered him and took the beating yourself. I’m sorry ye had to do that.” he said and a tear fell onto my arm.

“Jamie, I didn’t have to do it, that’s the thing. I was foolish and afraid Jenny might be afraid of me. If I hadn’t been so stupid our son wouldn’t have been in jeopardy.” I told him, still mad at myself over it.

“Weel, thank you. Come eat.” He said and helped me out of bed.

***---***

It took us a while and some patience but we showed Brian how everything worked. He said the plumbing was the best invention ever and I quite agreed with him. 

The second day we were home Violet and I packed up two large baskets to have a picnic and we all quit working and we went to the little creek and had a picnic. The children played and swam with Jamie, young Murtagh and Murtagh. 

“I think young Murtagh is thinking of leaving.” Violet said.

“I figured he would, I’m surprised he didn’t leave already. Probably shook up from the traveling but he has a family waiting for him.” I said.

“He’ll have to wait till Samhain now.” I said, thinking I needed to get him alone and speak with him.

Alex got out of the water and came over to me, “Mama, my tummy is mad and wants food, hear it?” He said and tried to hold his stomach to my ear.

Of course I acted like I heard it and gave him a sandwich. Then Brianna and Faith came out and wanted food too. Fergus watched over his siblings but if he could, he tended to stay with the men. The men ate last, because they finished everything!

***---***

My opportunity to speak with young Murtagh came the next day. He took a walk every morning and I was up early enough to go with him.

He seemed hesitant when I asked. “Umm, sure, that will be fine.” He said and we set off.

He was quiet for a while so I decided to break the ice. “I want to thank you again for saving-” I started but he stopped and looked at me.

“Please don’t. You already thanked me. It was terrible in there but I would do it a million times more, as you would for me or any of us.” He said then continued walking.

“Murtagh.” I said loudly to get him to stop.

He stopped and walked back to me. “Are you angry? After that first week you were here you grew to be so quiet, and withdrawn.” I said quietly.

He took my hand and pulled me over to a tree stump to sit and he sat on the ground. “I’m nay angry, there is nothing to be angry at in your house, in your company. I have to leave. I have to get to know who you are, who my Mother is as a child, and Grandda and Murtagh and Violet, and now my great Grandda, all of you. I get to know ye know, how ye are now then I have to leave ye. I have to figure out if I want to go back earlier or just go to the current time. If I go back earlier I can stop Mom from getting on that plane, or do I trust you to tell her when the time comes. What if you forget? It’s so far in the future from her.” he sighed. “Things aren’t good with my wife either.” He said and looked down to pull some grass.

“What is happening with your wife?” I asked.

“I spent all our savings on something she told me not to do. I speak to her once a week or so through the rock, and everything is fine with my bairns. They miss me.” he said and smiled.

“I’m sorry you are going through trouble, I hope everything works out.” I told him.

“See, just like this. Ye are so kind Grandma, ye didna even ask me what I did.” He said.

“It doesn’t matter, you are obviously sorry it upset your wife, that is what matters.” I told him. “Now help your old Grandma up, let’s walk. We can talk about the pro’s and con’s of when to go back.”

He laughed at me, but he helped me up. We walked and talked but didn’t come to an answer. He told me small things about the future and I wondered what Jamie and Murtagh and I became that we were so much better now…?

“Do we become bad people?” I asked young Murtagh.

“What, nay, of course not.” he replied.

“Then why are we so different now?” I asked him and he thought about the question for a while.

“It’s that you had your children, and then you have your grandchildren. I will just say I am one of many there, here I have all of your attention.” He told me.

“That does sound bad, I’m so sorry.” I said and he laughed.

“It’s not bad, it’s very normal really. You and Grandda are just busy, I will also tell you that the life you have with Grandda is always an adventure.” he said and smiled.

I nudged him. “I knew that.” I said and he laughed. 

We got to a spot and I realized what he was doing. He would take his last few days of journal papers and if he had pictures of us he would wrap those up too and bury them.

“Who are you burying them for?” I asked.

He gave a half smile, “I can’t tell you. If I did you would figure out who lives in the house.” He said.

We finished our walk and he told me about his children. It was nice.

When we got back Jamie was in the yard pacing. He ran to us when he saw us.

“Thank God ye two are safe.” He said and hugged us both. “No note, nothing! I was afraid ye both had gone to the stones, Murtagh drove there.” Jamie said then hugged us again. When he drew back I looked at young Murtagh and I saw his look. It seemed to say _this, this concern is what I don’t get in the future_ and I resolved to do better.

I explained to Jamie I’d wanted to walk with young Murtagh and I was sorry I worried him and hadn’t left a note.

Jamie said it was fine and he took both our hands and walked us back to the house.

***---***

Another day passed and things seemed to be getting back to normal. Jamie, Murtagh and now Brian went out in the morning to care for the livestock. Fergus Brian and young Murtagh went out in the evenings. Brian and Jamie took a ride and worked with the horses to train them.

After lunch on our third day home, Faith had asked me when she was going back to school. I looked at Jamie who shrugged and nodded yes, so I asked her when she wanted to go back to school. Faith told me she would think about it and let me know. Murtagh decided he would see about getting his job back.

He went to the preschool that day and came home smiling.

“What happened?” I asked.

“My old job wasn’t available, but they gave me a new one.” He said proudly.

“Don’t keep us in suspense man, what is yer new job?” Jamie asked.

“I am the gardener. They want to teach the children about growing plants and such so everyday I take a few children out and teach them how to garden. In the winter they want to keep me for snow removal and building and fixing things.” Murtagh said. He was very proud and we gave the proper amount of praise.

“Lass, do ye mind keeping wee Ben for a bit longer? I want to go tell Violet.” He asked me.

“Of course not, go!” I told him. He was still in his nice clothes and decided to brush his hair first. I tried not to smile at him; before Violet if he brushed his hair twice a week it would surprise me.

After he left Brian asked if he should see about getting ‘the job’ as he put it.

“Nay Da, I mean I guess if ye want to but, we don’t need the money. Murtagh only started working at the preschool for Claire because she was scarit to leave Faith on her own. Murtagh and I give sword fighting lessons and we make quite a bit from that. I train horses at a bed and breakfast that I really need to call come to think of it. Claire was a nurse before but can’t work now because she is with bairn, she also had an inheritance from her uncle that we have in case we need it.” Jamie said.

“What is a bed and breakfast?” Brian asked.

“It’s just like a tavern that ye can get rooms at. The rooms are fancier and they cook a big breakfast.” Jamie said.

“Weel son, ye told me that ye have two jobs, Murtagh has two jobs, Claire has a job when ye haven’t put a bairn in her,” I blushed at this point, “Murtagh’s lass has a job taking care of a Reverend. Any ye nay want me to work?” Brain said. He had a point.

“Will ye please just settle in and wait a while? I would rather have ye at the house until Claire has the bairn.”Jamie said quietly.

“Why?” I asked. I had switched sides.

Jamie looked at me and got on his knees in front of me. “Because I have obligations that take me out of the house already and I need to keep bringing in the money we were bringing in. The more I train horses, the better I get. We need to be able to keep sending Jenny and Ian food and money and Sassenach,” He paused and kissed my hands here, “Ye have a cast on yer arm, yer recovered from a head wound, and if that’s only one bairn I will be surprised. I worry so much for ye it tears my wame up to leave ye, and my heart aches with it. If my Da is here I know ye are safe.” He said and I loved him a little more for his honesty and for the love he bore me. He had a tear on his left cheek and I wiped it away.

“Okay.” I said and smiled at him. Carrying a child was exhausting but I had no idea what a day in Jamie’s shoes were like.

“I will stay in the house, I will get to know my grandchildren and keep and eye on my new daughter. At least until she recovers from the new bairn.” Brian said and Jamie thanked him.

“I’m going to call the bed and breakfast, tell them I’m back and see how they are doing.” Jamie said and left to make a phone call.

“What is calling?” Brian asked and I explained it to him.

“So it’s like your rock, but most people have one and there are wires attached and not magic?” He asked.

“Something like that. I will talk to Violet tonight and you can call her at the manse so you know how to use it.” I told him and he nodded. A few minutes passed and I tried to stay awake in the silence.

“My son loves ye like I love my Ellen. I am glad, mostly.” He said, looking off in the distance.

“Why mostly?” I asked.

“Because if ye love like that, and one of ye dies without the other, it is like hell.” He said.

“Are you sorry to be back?” I asked.

He looked at me then. “No,nay, of course not! It is hard without her but I hugged all four of Jamie’s children yesterday. Ye will have to tell me the story of Fergus someday.” He said and looked in the distance again. “And one more thing, I want to sleep down here. It is too quiet upstairs.” Brian said and I smiled. Violet thought and I agreed he might want the peace and quiet.

“There is only one bedroom left and it is by Jamie’s and my room. It’s not as big as the one upstairs.” I said.

“That’s fine, I don’t need too much space.” He said.

“Uh, it is right next door.” I said, not looking at him.

“Lass, my son has the love of a good woman. If he has that love often then I am happy for him.” Brian said and I finally looked at him red cheeks and all.

Jamie came back in the room and put his boots on, “I’m going out to check on their horses, Da do ye want to go with me?” Jamie asked.

“Ye just told me ye wanted me to keep yer wife safe when she is alone, and then ye want to leave her alone?” Brian asked.

Jamie looked at the clock. “Tis fine, Murtagh will be home in less than half an hour, Lily has the bairns and Fergus is reading again. Come with me.” Jamie said.

So they left and I wandered in the kitchen to get something to eat. Jamie thought I was carrying twins again… I rubbed my large belly and said, “Knock knock?”Just then the phone rang and I dropped my sandwich.

Lily ran in to answer it and it was for Fergus. His friend was going to the bookstore then out to the hamburger restaurant and wanted to know if Fergus could go. I told him he could and he was very grateful. I gave him too much money and he left, so excited to go to the bookstore. I would have to take him more often.

Around ten minutes after Fergus got picked up Lily got ready to leave. Apparently it was an early day she’d worked out with Violet already.

I went into my room and left the door open. I was going to lay down for a little while, and just as I was closing my eyes the children woke up and in the next minute I heard Ben crying.

I got them cleaned up and changed. We were working on potty training the twins but since they were just over a year and a half it was going slowly. Ben was way too young for potty training, much to Murtagh’s dismay.

We went to get a snack, and I could kiss whoever invented high chairs. I didn’t cook, just warmed things up.

We played in the living room and listened to the radio. My head was aching bad and it was difficult to change or clean a baby when you hand one arm in a cast. At least one of the twins insisted on crawling on me at all times. I didn’t want to make them settle down, I had missed this so much.

No one came home for hours. Fergus was the first to get back and he helped me get his siblings and Ben cleaned up and in bed. “Maman, go to bed, ye look so tired.” Fergus said.

“I have to shower first, I have food in my hair.” I said and Fergus looked at my hair and made a face.

“Oui, ye must shower first.” He said and I went to shower.

Murtagh and Violet came home while I was in the shower. They thanked me for watching Ben and told me about how they’d gone out to dinner to celebrate. I turned to go to bed and Fergus gasped.

“What? Do I still have food in my hair?” I asked.

“No, yer head is bleeding.” Murtagh said. He picked up the papers from the hospital and Violet sat me in a chair.

“I think she pulled the stitches out in her head.” Violet said.

“How did I not know I have stitches in my head?” I asked. Fergus, Murtagh, and Violet all looked at me.

“Ye knew ye had a head wound, right?” Violet asked.

“Of course, they told me to keep it covered and dry and that’s what I’ve done, I just didn’t realize there were stitches.” I said and looked at the floor. My head really ached.

“Get dressed, lass. I will take her back to the hospital, can you two take care of the bairns if they wake?” Violet asked Murtagh and Fergus.

I got up. “Just once I want to go to the hospital in the daytime.” I said.

“Lass, it’s only seven.” Murtagh said and I groaned again.

I got dressed and it was decided that Murtagh would drive me since Violet had drunk a whiskey. I was fine with the change of plans. It would likely be a quieter drive.

“Does Jamie know?” Murtagh asked.

“No, he and Brian went to the Bed and Breakfast to look at the horses and see how they were.” I said.

“Mmm-mm,” Murtagh said, making that scottish noise. “They hired a lad but he didn’t work out.” he said, and was quiet for a while.

“Do ye want me to call over there when we get to the hospital?” Murtagh said.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to interrupt his work. He already told me today that he is worried about me, I don’t want to prove his worries true.” I said.

Except, when we got to the hospital, we found out the wound was infected and all the stitches had either come out or loosened. My cast had gotten wet and was starting to come off and the bruises from my time in the stones had yellowed but they weren't all gone. They were keeping for the night and there was no way I could talk them out of it. Two nurses saw the bruises on my shoulder and kept asking me if I needed to talk to someone. Since I used to work at this hospital I knew what it was code for. All night in a hospital. Dammit!

“Okay, can you please call home and see if Jamie is there yet? If not just tell Violet what is going on so she can tell Jamie if he gets home before you.” I said.

“Before me?” Murtagh asked.

“Yes, I have to be here all night, you might as well go home.” I said.

“I’m not leaving lass.” Murtagh said.

“It’s fine, really, go home, a hospital is no good for resting.” I told him and he looked at me and I knew that was a question for another time.

“I willna leave ye alone, ye just don’t leave a person alone in most situations, especially here.” Murtagh said.

I tried to smile at him but it hurt. I closed my eyes and said, “Thank you.” and in reply he patted my good arm.

I opened my eyes a few minutes later to Murtagh asking someone to call our house. Then someone came in to wash my head wound again. Murtagh watched but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t a man of many words. When the pain subsided I closed my eyes but didn’t sleep.

“Today was exhausting and I only took care of the children alone after their nap. Why am I bringing babies into the world that I need help to care for?” I asked quietly.

I remembered something Jamie had said about Murtagh ‘still waters run deep, ye ken?’ and I hoped he would have an answer for me but the silence continued. 

Until, “Bairns are a gift from God and yers are born from love which is the best gift. It doesna matter ye need help caring for them, ye will have help and ye will be able to teach them everything important.” He said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“How to love fiercely lass, how to stay healthy and care for loved ones when they need it. That education is important. Jamie will teach them how to sit a horse, how to fight and how to learn a trade. I wouldna worry about yer bairns, they will be fine.” Murtagh said and I squeezed his hand because if I said anything I knew I would cry.

I woke up a little while later because I wasn’t holding Murtagh’s hand anymore. I looked up to see Jamie and Murtagh speaking at the door. They noticed I was awake and Murtagh came in to say he was leaving.

“Remember what I said.” He told me.

“I will, thank you.” I said and he nodded at me


	41. Unanswered questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers!
> 
> Thank you for all your wonderful comments! I read every one although I haven't replied for a while, thank you for commenting.
> 
> Let's thank Diana Gabaldon who wrote the Outlander series and has rights to the characters we all love!

“I’m sorry Claire, I did the one thing I didn’t want to do which was leave ye alone for hours.” Jamie said before he even sat down. I loved the man, but my brain was pounding out of my skull..

“Jamie, it’s alright, I’m alright, the children are alright.” I said and closed my eyes.   
  


“Ye call having to go to the hospital because your head was bleeding alright?” He said a little more upset now. “Will ye please look at me when we are talking?” he asked.

“Jamie,” I said and took a breath, “My head is pounding, I know we need to talk this through but can it be in a few hours? Please?” I asked.

“Aye lass, sure.” He said softly and pulled the chair up to the bed and held my hand as Murtagh did. As soon as the headache eased a bit two nurses came in to irrigate and see if it was time to re-stitch yet.

It was time to stitch and I told Jamie to walk out of the room. Fergus told me before we left the house tonight that when they stitched it the first time Jamie had to walk out of the room because he got pale and unsteady.

“It’s fine lass, I will just sit on the other side.” Jamie said and switched sides.

They started stitching and I wished I had a strap to bite down on because, damn, it hurt. After a few minutes tears were streaming down my face.

“Can ye take a break maybe? Claire is in a lot of pain.” Jamie said.

“We could use that spray to numb the area…” One nurse said to the other. “It’s fine for pregnant people.” 

“That’s a good idea, let’s get it.” They left the room before I throttled them,  _ now  _ they get it?

I was trying to do the calming breaths that Dr. Alice had taught me but it was difficult. We made it though, I had my head re-stitched, my arm re-cast and a stern warning from Dr. Anderson to “Hire help, take time away from work, whatever we needed to do so I could rest every day and not be picking up children.”

I was able to leave the hospital in time to go home for breakfast and I was hungry. Jamie hadn’t spoken much, just asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything.

When we got home Jamie told them about the night and I ate then went to bed. It wasn’t long before Jamie joined me for a nap. I slept well past lunch but when I got up the pain in my head had eased considerably and I ate enough to make up for the missed meal.

After I ate I asked Violet about where I could get poster size plain paper and she pulled several pieces from the boot in her car.

“I keep it for Roger to make maps on, he loves maps.” Violet said. I tried to pay her but of course she declined.

“What are ye going to do with it?” Violet asked.

“I’m going to make our household a schedule.” I said with a smile. I thought a schedule would be just what we needed. I got a ruler and some supplies and made up a calendar looking page. On the side I made a legend of sorts to abbreviate our names.

The paper was big enough I could write plenty in the box assigned to that day. I was excited about making it; I didn’t know how Jamie would feel because he’s expressed often how he misses the freedom of his time. This would be good for our family, I was sure of it.

After dinner the whole family and Flora and Lily would be there for an hour, so it was the perfect time.

By the time dinner came I was practically bursting at the seems. We were all sitting down, except for Flora and Lily who were watching the children. I was ready to start my explanation then the doorbell rang.

“I will get it.” I said as I saw Violet start to get up from the corner of my eye. I was determined to make them go away.

“Hello.” I said as I opened the door, trying to smile.

It was a woman holding a clipboard. “I’m looking for Claire Fraser.” She said. 

“And you would be…?” I asked, thinking she was rather rude.

“Mary Tines, I’m with Scotland's Committee for Healthy Women and Children.” She said proudly and handed me a card.

“Why are you here?” I asked, being rude now.

“I need to see Claire Fraser.” She said.

“I am Claire Fraser, how can I help you?” I asked, somewhat befuddled now.

“Sassenach, is everything alright?” Jamie asked as he wandered into the room and stood beside me.

“Who are you? Are you calling this woman names?” Mary Tines with Scotland's Committee for Healthy Women and Children asked and scribbled something on a clipboard.

“Jamie, someone at the hospital reported they thought you might be hurting me. This woman is here to make sure you aren’t.” I said and he looked at Mary Tines in surprise.

“I dinna hurt my wife.” He said adamantly.

“Ms. Tines, what can we do to move this along swiftly?” I asked. “We are having dinner.”

“Could I observe?” She asked.

“Ye can get a plate for all I care.” Jamie said and walked away.

“No, I must only observe, not participate.” Mary Tines, who obviously took her job very seriously, which was a good thing I reminded myself, was going to sit in the corner and watch us eat.

So she was settled and I sat back down. Murtagh and Brian were looking at her and looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I got a few bites down and got started. “Something Doctor Anderson said at the hospital really rang a chord with me, we need a schedule.” I said and produced the large paper. I taped it behind me and stood up to explain it.

“I need help with the children now.” I paused and looked at Murtagh, he was smiling at me. “I shouldn’t be picking them up anymore and quite frankly I could sleep fourteen hours a day.” This had Fergus laughing.

I went on to show their name in the box to get their initials. We started with Murtagh’s work day; and I wrote MF with FF 11:30am to 4:00pm work/school.

“Lily, Flora, would you come in here please?’ I asked and they both came with the twins on their hips.

“Can we go through your work schedule? I would like to know your exact hours a week in advance.” I said and they were happy to comply. 

And so it went until I had two weeks finished. Young Murtagh said he had some things he needed to do but everything he had was flexible and he would make sure I wouldn’t be left alone before he left. Brian was going to be going with Jamie to the bed and breakfast three days a week to train horses in the afternoon but one of the girls would usually be here.

Jamie decided he wanted to be home most evenings and that worked out well because Murtagh and Violet mentioned they wanted a night out alone once a week and offered us the same.

It was a hit and I was feeling accomplished. I finished the last few bites of my food when Mary Tines spoke and I gasped. I had totally forgotten she was there.

“May I ask you some questions with your oldest child?” She asked and I looked to Fergus.

“Come on Fergus, we can go to the library.” I said. Somehow Faith ended up going with us and I had a child on both sides holding my hand.

“Children,” Mary Tines started, “Do you ever see your Father hitting your Mother? Do they yell a lot?” She asked.

Fergus started, “I have never seen my Da raise his hand to Maman, and if you knew them you would know how foolish you sound.” Fergus said.

Faith had gotten off the seat and went to where Mary Tines was sitting. “Hitting is bad. If ye are going to hit your brother or sister you will go to bed without dessert.” Faith said very seriously.

“You are right.” Mary Tines and smiled. She looked up at me, dropped her serious demeanor and sat her clipboard down. “I’m sorry for bothering you Mrs. Fraser. Any woman that can stand up in front of that many men and demand their schedule so she would have help with the children is not being beaten. You really fell down the rocks at the fairy hill?” She asked.

I gave my fake laugh and looked at Fergus so she wouldn’t see my lying face. “Yes, I’ve gotten so off balance recently. My husband thinks it will be another set of twins but the doctor said only one.” I said and rubbed my kicking child.

“Well, here is my card if you are ever in need of my services and I hope your schedule works out.” She said and shook my hand. “Don’t get up, I will see myself out.” She said and she left. She ended up being nice, just very serious about her work.

Jamie came to the door. “So, has she decided you are safe in my company?” he asked sheepishly.

“Yes, apparently it doesn’t seem like you are beating your wife.” I said and smiled at him. He was more handsome every day.

“Well lass, that’s good because I was wondering if my bonny lass would like to take a walk?” Jamie said, coming closer. He probably knew I would need help off this couch. “Well, a drive, then a walk.” he amended.

“That sounds wonderful, but-” I started but Jamie cut me off.

“Flora and Lily will give the bairns a bath and play with them until they leave at 7, at which time Murtagh and young Murtagh will take over and start them to bed, and we should be home to read a story.” Jamie said, and at the read a story part Faith said she agreed.

Fergus hugged me and I put my hand into my highlander's open one. We walked out of the library and Jamie yelled, “She said yes, we will be back in two hours.” I grabbed my bag and we walked out of the house. 

When we were on the porch Jamie picked me up and carried me down the stairs. I yelled his name and he ducked after he set me down because I was going to push on his shoulder. Then he stood up and took both my hands and kissed me very gently. “Let’s go get an ice cream.” He almost whispered.

“Oh, that sounds delicious,” I said and smiled, “Let’s go!” Then I turned and pulled him to the car and we were both laughing.

When we got in the car and started driving I started to explain the stitches and having to get a new cast but Jamie stopped me.

“Claire, it’s alright, I spoke with Murtagh and he told me the whole story. We don’t have to go through it again.” He said and squeezed my hand. “Come closer, why are ye all the way over there?” he asked and I scooted closer to him and he kissed my forehead. “The calendar is a marvelous idea, thank ye.” He said.

“Really? I was afraid you wouldn’t like it. You told me how you miss the freedom of your time.” I said.

Jamie thought for a minute. “Aye, but it’s a different kind of freedom. If I was a free man and wanted to take my five children and my pregnant wife on a picnic where we could camp under the stars we would just do it. We wouldn’t have to worry if Fergus had plans with friends, or Faith had school, we would just go. Ye ken what I mean?” Jamie asked me.

“Oh, I ken exactly what you mean and don’t think I didn’t catch the five children and me carrying another.” I said and we laughed. When we stopped I felt very serious.

“How many children should we have Jamie? We only have three little ones and it was so hard for me to take care of them by myself.” I was a little embarrassed.

Jamie pulled the car over and turned to look at me, “Claire, ye had four with wee Ben, and ye just went through the stones and took a beating. Ye have a head wound and a cast and yer all bruised, would ye please let up on yerself? I love ye too much to watch ye being mean to yerself like this.” He said and held me. Of course I cried a little.

“I do have one question, Sassenach, how did ye change the clouts one handed?” Jamie said and looked serious.

“Very carefully.” I answered and he laughed and pulled me to him again.

We did make it to Inverness and parked by the ice cream parlor. Jamie got out and helped me to slide out on the drivers side. “Now comes the walking part.” He said and it was my turn to laugh.

We had our ice cream and sat outside to talk. I told him about my conversation with young Murtagh and he asked me where he’d been overnight.

“He went to Edinburgh.” I said.

“What did he do in Edinburgh?” Jamie asked.

I broke down. Two questions and I spilled. “His family has money issues. I gave him the paperwork and some money to open a bank account,” I said.

“Why?” Jamie asked.

“Because if you put a small amount of money in a bank that will exist in his time the interest could change his life. I answered.

“Are ye sure we should be doing something like that? It does seem the easiest way to go about it though.” Jamie said as he was stroking my arm with one hand and holding his cone with the other hand.

“It’s legal, and I didn’t know how else to help him. The rate of inflation he told me about seems almost unbelievable. I’m sorry I didn’t speak with you about it, it just seems like it’s been so busy since we got back.” I told Jamie.

“I don’t think it’s been different than usual, we just got used to time in 1748.” Jamie said and smiled at me but I saw something in his look.

“What?” I asked him as I took my first bite of cone. The crunch was loud!

“Nothing. Did ye know that Faith can already-” He said and started to change the subject, but I got him.

“James Fraser, you will not do that to me. What is it?” I asked.

“I dinna want to bother you with troubles Sassenach, you need peace for our bairn. But since I know ye willna let it go, I was wondering what are we going to do about keeping ye safe when we pass back through the stones.” Jamie said and I saw his concern and understood it. 

“I’ve been thinking about that too. I have a few ideas that may be ridiculous, but I will need to speak to Raymond first so I can find out what he knows.” I said and looked in the distance.

“Weel, as long as one of us has ideas that’s good I ken.” Jamie said and his normal smile was back.

We finished our ice cream and took the long walk (of fifty feet) back to the car. Jamie drove us to the bed and breakfast and drove right up to the stables so I wouldn’t have to walk.

There were a few employees still working and Jamie introduced me. We looked at all the new horses that he could speak of almost nonstop. 

We left and arrived home in time to put our freshly washed children to bed and read stories.

I thanked Murtagh and Violet. I pulled Fergus out of a book and hugged him. Young Murtagh was in the library writing and as soon as I got close to him he jumped up and turned his writing over.

“I will respect your privacy.” I said.

“Aye man, we willna read what ye dinna want us to read.” Jamie said, coming in the library right behind me.

Young Murtagh sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m writing letters to ye both and putting dates on them so ye know when to open them.” He said.

“Won’t that change things?” I asked.

“Some things really should be changed.” He said and looked at me with a look that I couldn’t decipher.

“You write a lot of letters.” I said and picked up his hand looking at the calluses where he held his pen. 

“I do, I sure miss, something from my time that would make writing easier.” He said.

“We should buy a typewriter.” I declared.

“I meant something else, but I would love to have a typewriter available.” He said, and looked at me for the follow-up.

“We’re going to bed but maybe we can go into town tomorrow and look for one.” I said and kissed his cheek.

“That sounds fine, goodnight Claire.” He said and nodded to Jamie.

Brian was listening to a radio show and patted my stomach goodnight. He was in his bedroom right next to ours, and made a point to turn the radio up a bit as we left the room. I blushed.

“What is it mo Sorcha?” Jamie asked me when we were in our bedroom and he saw my red face.

I walked over to him and quietly replied, “Your Father turned the radio up so he wouldn’t hear us having sex.” I said.

Jamie put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. “Oh, well how nice of him. Does that mean we are going to lie together?” He asked and rubbed my back.

“I’m sorry, I’m too tired. Can we sit like we did so you can rub my back?” I asked.

“Ye dinna even have to ask, I love ye Claire.” He said and held me for a few minutes. We got our clothes off and Jamie sat in bed against the headboard and opened his legs for me to sit between. We had the windows open so I brought a light blanket and covered us up. He rubbed as much as he could reach on my back, then my shoulders. Then he made the wide slow circles on my middle that calmed the baby down. 

“There is only one.” I mumbled to him. When his hands were on me to rub the baby I always had this idea he was looking for the second.

“We dinna ken, we have to wait.” He said.

“Can we sleep like this?” I asked, probably mumbling again.

Jamie leaned us forward and got a pillow to put behind his head. “Anything ye want Sassenach.” He said. I dozed off but woke after a short while and we lay down properly. It just felt nice to have him all around me.

***---***

The next day young Murtagh, Faith and I went into town. We ended up ordering another desk for the library and buying two typewriters because I guessed there would be other people in the house that would be interested in them.

All three of us ordered new shoes and also got new clothes. When we got home Murtagh, Fergus and Fergus’s friend were in the car to drive the friend home. We got everything inside and had lunch then I got the twins and myself down for a nap. Young Murtagh was going to set up the typewriters and try to surprise Jamie who was in the barn with Brian training horses.

My last thoughts before I fell asleep were questions without answers. What do I do about the people stuck between the rocks? What if I really had twins? Even though they had looked with the newest equipment and said they saw one boy. How could I handle two more at the same time? How many more children should I have if I already need help? How amazing was Jenny?! I missed Jenny. 


	42. Freight train to the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments! I have the best readers!
> 
> This is a shorter than normal chapter, but I came to such a great stopping point I couldn't pass it up.
> 
> I hope you like it, and forgive me for where I stopped!

Our days fell into a routine and that was fine with me. I’d finally fully recovered from our trip through the stones; I didn’t have the daily headaches anymore and my arm was out of the cast. Jamie and Murtagh were back to giving sword fighting lessons and they were very busy. Brian loved watching the lessons because he was able to see how accomplished his son was at something so necessary in their time.

Brian and Jamie went to the bed and breakfast three times a week to train the horses and someone would drop off Brian the other two days a week while he worked by himself.

Jamie and I talked about it and it was decided we would teach Brian to drive if he asked. I hoped he asked. Jamie didn’t. It was a little piece of his Da that could stay the way Jamie remembered it.

Violet was still working at the manse every weekday and Murtagh worked at the preschool and he took Faith too. Young Murtagh ran a lot of the errands and made extra grocery store runs on days when I had food cravings. He was also helping me with my garden. I insisted on having one and Jamie insisted on me not so we compromised when young Murtagh said he would help me.

I was forcing myself to get up early so I could go on walks with young Murtagh. It worked out well because our busy house was always up early; I had been the one who slept in. Young Murtagh went every morning and I went most mornings, most being when the weather was dry.

He read every newspaper he could buy then passed it on to Fergus. Fergus had become a social butterfly and was visiting friends or having friends over almost every day.

I was with young Murtagh on a brisk morning walk in mid August when I asked if he knew when he was going home.

“Do you want me to go home?” He said after he stopped and looked at me.

“No, but I also don’t want to keep you from your family.” I said and took his free hand.

“I’ve been speaking with Ahote, it will be Samhain or Yule.” He said.

“Is it easier to pass through the stones in your time?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” He asked. He slowed down and looked at me.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about the passage through the stones and what Raymond said; that the beings in the stones are people. What if I got them out? What if I could at least get out a few… they are people!” I emphasized because he was looking at the ground and not at me. I felt very strongly about saving these people but he wasn’t looking at me.

“Murtagh, look at me!” I said in a tone that let him know I meant it.

He lifted his head and there were tears on his cheeks. “Seanhair, (Grandmother) I have been waiting for ye to ask me for help.” He said and I hugged him. I was holding him tightly, when he sputtered that he couldn’t breath.

“Sorry.” I said and released him. Then he hugged me.

***--***

We’d decided young Murtagh would wait until Yule to go back because he could help me make a plan. We also decided not to tell Jamie anything until after I’d given birth. Our first try would be on Samhain. Young Murtagh kept in regular contact with Ahote and it was planned that Ahote would come when it was close to my time and stay until after Samhain to help us get our first person out.

I was feeling fantastic. Jamie knew I had something going on with young Murtagh but he didn’t ask me about it. I wondered if he knew. Until I had to wonder no more.

It was only a few days after I’d spoken to young Murtagh about getting a person out when Jamie and I were sitting on the bed. We’d played with the children all evening and then finally gotten them to bed. 

“I love the new headboard! Thank you Jamie.” I said and ran my hand over it. It was large and soft with lots of padding.

“You are welcome my Sassenach, but it is for both of us really.” He said and demonstrated as he got into bed naked and sat against the wall as he did every night. He’d already helped me out of my clothes so I was looking at him and his head was still far enough below the top that he was resting on cushion and not wood.

I smiled at him and climbed into my spot. He opened his legs wide and I sat in front of him while he massaged my back.

“How are ye feeling’?” Jamie asked me.

“Good, nervous, huge, happy. How about you?” I said and scooted closer to him so he would rub the front parts of me.

“I’m doing very well. The farm is quite prosperous, and we are doing good work. I was thinking about giving Flora and Lily a bonus, what do ye think?” He asked me.

“That’s a great idea, especially since we are going to be adding a new one soon.” I said.

“One or two.” He said.

I laughed and he rubbed my middle and spoke to the babies for a while. I was very relaxed when he said,” Sassenach.” And waited for my reply.

“Aye.” I said in my best Scottish burr.

“Whit’s going on with ye and young Murtagh?” He asked.

I tensed, giving him the answer. “Ye are nay going back to those stones while ye are with bairn are ye?” He asked.

I relaxed a bit. “No, I am not planning to go to the stones while pregnant.” I said confidently. I liked these kinds of questions.

“When do ye plan to go back?” He asked quietly.

“As long as I am healthy, on Samhain. I want to try to get a person out.” I said.

“When were ye going to tell me if I dinna ask?” he said. Now he was sounding a little upset.

“After the baby was born. I didn’t want you to worry.” I said honestly.

“And do ye really think that having something like this planned but not telling me makes me comfortable? I want to help, I want to help ye to do it safely.” he said and I turned around and kissed him.

“What’s that for?” He asked, smiling at me.

“For not asking me why, or asking me not to do it.” I started to kiss him slowly and we went on until we were both gasping for air. I put my face in his neck and sniffed the smell of him, then left a little trail of kisses.

“Mmmm, Sassenach, I got other things today.” He said, as he was paying careful attention to massaging my breasts.

“Oooh?” I said, then moaned with the delightful sensation. His hands were making their way to my hips and I was already wet with need.

“Aye.” He said and broke the kiss and took his hands away. I whined. Yep. Whined.

He grabbed several pillows from his side of the bed and put them behind me. “Nice, new pillows. Thank you.” I said and reached up to kiss him, but he denied me. I whined again.

He leaned into me and breathed hot in my ear. “These are nay just new pillows.” He said and his hands were on me again. 

“Oh?” I said again. I had my head in his chest and my hands wrapped around his hard cock.

He grunted. “ No, I got new pillows to prop ye up so I can take ye from behind and I willna be gentle.” He said and ran his teeth down my neck.

“I hope not.” I said and we got to moving the pillows in the right place.

**---**

The pillows worked. I was so big our lovemaking had gotten uncomfortable and Jamie was getting desperate. We made love three times that night and I was tired the next day but otherwise felt wonderful.

August fell away and September came. Our lads Murtagh and Violet had adopted from the orphanage called once or twice a week but they were doing well. The boys had found their grandparents who were ecstatic at the boys living with them. I missed them but I was happy for them.

Young Murtagh became my constant companion. He was very helpful and I tried to tell him how much I enjoyed his being there as often as I could. He shared some of his journal entries with me and it seemed he, like Master Raymond, knew a lot more about time travel than I did.

It had rained for six straight days. I don’t mean a light drizzling rain that appears pretty even, I mean an all out, bucket a second downpour. Murtagh, Violet, Ben and Faith were stuck at her house because cars couldn’t make it out on the roads and Violet told me some were cars washed down streets. It was hard to be without Faith, but I knew she was safe and well and with people who loved her. She also learned how to use the telephone and called me many times a day.

Flora and Lily had to be off the week for the same reason. Thankfully, months ago when Jamie and I were in the past, young Murtagh had thought to build a high barn. As it was explained to me, this was in case of local flooding.

I thought he knew this rain was coming and did what he could to help us survive past it. 

On Wednesday September thirteenth, young Murtagh, Jamie and Brian were sitting at the table playing cards. We’d recently bought a television and I was trying to watch a music show but I couldn’t sit still. I kept feeling like I was missing something and it wasn’t people.

I got up for about the fifth time and started to pace. I saw Jamie and Brian look at me but young Murtagh didn’t move. It dawned on me like a freight train to the face. Something was going to happen and he knew! It wasn’t just the rain. Young Murtagh knew something important and he wasn’t sharing.

_ Jesus H Roosevelt Christ _ ! I mumbled. If I didn’t have baby on the brain I would’ve seen this a month ago.

I pivoted to walk into the dining room and shake some sense into young Murtagh when my water broke.


	43. Young Murtagh's work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Wonderful Readers!
> 
> For those who celebrate, Happy Valentines Day! 
> 
> Thank you again for all your wonderful comments! I love reading them!
> 
> My Disclaimer; Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to these wonderful characters.

“Jamie!” I said and he dropped his cards and came to me. 

“Sassenach, is it the bairn?” He asked and looked at the floor.

“Yep, my water just broke. And there’s no way to get to the hospital, is there?” I asked.

Jamie paled. “Nay Sassenach, we had to drive the autos to the top of the wood piles and chain them up. A car canna pass.” He said and started looking around. I knew his mind was working.

“He,” I paused as another cramp, _nope, labor pain,_ my brain reminded me, _come on Beauchamp_ , “Young Murtagh knows something Jamie.” I said and looked at the man in question.

“Da, can ye bring me a few towels?” Jamie asked. In a much deeper voice Jamie said, “Young Murtagh, what do ye know.” He asked and got me into the rocking chair.

Young Murtagh stood up. “Call Murtagh, tell him she’s in labor.” Young Murtagh said and sat on the couch and looked into his lap.

Brian had come back with the towels and Jamie put one on the floor where my water broke and one under my bum. 

Jamie was looking at young Murtagh. “If ye know something that will help us, tell us! If ye dinna tell us I can and will thrash ye.” Jamie said.

“Beat me now or later, I dinna care, just call Murtagh and do it NOW!” Young Murtagh said. He got up and stood next to Jamie. Jamie was still taller but not by much. A minute passed and I saw Jamie tapping his leg.

“Jamie,” I said and grabbed his hand to make him look at me, “Call Murtagh, please.” I said and tried to relax.

Jamie left the room to make the call. Young Murtagh went to the front door and started putting on the waders and other things the men had engineered to get up to the livestock to feed them and check on them.

“You aren’t leaving, are you?” I asked. I had been angry at first but now I was just scared.

“No, Seamhair, I willna leave ye, but I have to set things up.” He said and went outside. As I saw him leave in cold, muddy water past his knees I was glad again that Lallybroch was atop a bit of a hill.

**---**

Jamie’s POV

I called Murtagh so I didn’t strangle the man who had secrets about my family's well being. I made mistakes the first two times, then I got the number right.

Murtagh answered on the first ring. “Halo.”

“Murtagh man, it’s Jamie, Claire is in labor and we canna get her safely out.” I told him

“Got it, see you soon.” Murtagh said then hung up.

I was more than surprised. I had to let it go and go back to Claire.

She was still in the rocking chair looking out the door. “Where did young Murtagh go?” I asked.

“He said he had to set things up.” Claire said, still a little surprised. “What did Murtagh say?” She asked.

“He said ‘see you soon’” I told her.

“That was it?” Claire asked.

“That was it.” I told her.

A few minutes passed and she got another pain, and I heard our twins up. Fergus had fallen asleep in the room with them.

I went to the nursery and saw Fergus talking to Alex and changing his clout. 

“It’s okay frere(brother in french), everyone makes mistakes at the beginning. I will make you a peanut butter sandwich, yes? Maybe one for Momma too? She likes them.” 

“Aye Fergie, I want that.” Alex said and kissed his brother on the cheek.

I waited until he was finished. “Fergus, your Mathair(Mother) is in labor. Can you keep taking care of your bràthair is piuthar(brother and sister)?” I asked him.

Fergus got very excited then scaled it back when he heard her groan from the living room. 

“Oui, I will see if I can get music on the radio.” Fergus said and smiled. 

I walked in the room and pulled him to me for a hug. “God blessed me the day I found you.” I said and meant every word of it.

“Nay Da, God blessed me, a frenchman first, when I found you.” Fergus said and laughed. I gave him another squeeze and went to get my Claire into the bedroom.

When we got there our bed was draped several times over in blue sheet like material. Claire laughed but I didn’t get the joke.

“What’s this then?” I asked Da.

“When young Murtagh took me to Doctor Alice to get my last shot he bought these from her. Under it is the...uh..waterproof stuff?” Da said and searched for the word.

“Plastic.” Claire said and I was remembering the times she told me she wished she had some. Now we had enough to cover a bed.

“Yes, plastic. Your sheets are over there, and this is the box young Murtagh said you should have for labor.” Da said and pointed to a box.

“I’m going to go do anything else until I can hold my new grandchild. Thank ye mo nighean.” Da said and kissed Claire on the cheek.

Claire didn’t move to the bed. “Where are ye trying to get to?” I asked.

“The bathroom, to wash my hands and you should too please.” She told me. 

I followed her and helped her stand through another labor pain. We got her clothes off and Claire got a gown on she’d bought for just this purpose.

She got in bed after this and tried to get comfortable. “What can I do?” I asked her.

“Open the box please, tell me what’s in it.” She said more calmly than she should’ve been.

I opened it, but it immediately looked weird. Everything was wrapped in plastic.

“There’s a book on top, and the rest is clothing and weird tools.” I told Claire and she was smiling.

“Why are ye smiling?” I asked.

“Because young Murtagh may not have told us what was going to happen but he is giving us the tools to get through it. We have a wonderful grandson.” She said. “Is there a very clean blanket somewhere?” She asked me.

“Aye, there is one at the bottom of the box.” I said and gave it to her. She covered herself and I helped her. 

“I’m going to rest while I can. Please don’t go far Jamie.” She said. I kissed her and told her I wouldn’t.

I went to the front room but I didn’t see anyone. I heard the children upstairs and I ran up the steps. Having the children fall down stairs was one of Claire’s biggest fears. When I went up the stairs I found Da, Fergus and the twins in the noisy room. Da was sitting by the door where there was a makeshift gate. There were toys and food and pallets in the room. There was a stack of books for Fergus, lights installed and a bed I’d never seen lined up with the wall.

Fergus was reading a children's book to the twins who were eating sandwiches. There were even a stack of clouts and clothes on a table.

“Where did all this come from?” I asked Da.

He looked at me strangely and said, “Young Murtagh set it up, I thought ye knew.”

I nodded my head and smiled at Fergus, then went back to check on Claire. 

I felt like I didn’t know what was going on in my own home and I dinna like it one bit.

**---**

Over three hours had passed. The children and Da were still upstairs and they sounded fine. I did move one of Claire’s gates to the top of the stairs just in case one of the bairns got past them.

Young Murtagh finally reappeared. I had thought to grab him as soon as I saw him and demand information from him. He was covered head to toe in mud and he just opened the door and looked in. 

I spoke to him before he could speak to me, “What was all that hammering?”

“Will ye please hand me the blue box in the library closet?” he said, boldly not even trying to answer the question.

I didn’t move.

“I will get it myself but then I will track mud through the house.” he said. I got the box and gave it to him.

I was too unsettled. I went back to the bedroom where Claire was still trying to doze but she was waking with her pains.

I got on my side of the bed and prayed.

And prayed.

And heard the weirdest noise I’d ever heard coming from the sky.

“God?” I asked.

“Jamie, why is there a helicopter outside?” Claire yelled.

Da ran in the room carrying both the twins and Fergus was running behind him carrying a dozen books. They looked scared, except Fergus, he looked excited.

“It’s a helicopter.” Claire was yelling. The twins jumped in the bed with her and Da took the chair by the door.

“Da, can I go see it?” Fergus asked.

“No, No!” Claire was yelling and I shook my head at the lad.

A few seconds later I heard a commotion at the front door. Da and I went to see who was in the house. Da pulled a knife from his belt but I walked in the room first. It was Dr. Alice and Murtagh who carried two large satchels. I heard Da laugh and sheath his knife.

“Hi, where is she?” Dr. Alice said and I took her to our bedroom. 

“Can ye see the children out?” Dr. Alice asked upon reaching the doorway.

“Dr. Alice! I am so grateful you could make it!” Claire said and I helped Fergus get the children out of the bedroom.

Murtagh and Brian hugged. “Thank ye for bringing the doctor for my daughter.” I heard him say.  
  


“Well, the lass is pretty special to us as well.” Murtagh said. I wondered if there was going to be a problem there in the future. My Claire was like a daughter to them both, only Murtagh had been there first for her.

“Aye, thank ye, but how?” I asked.

Murtagh nodded to young Murtagh who was pulling a raft across the lake of a road we had to the high raised platform he’d built. He tied the raft to a pole and looked at his watch.

“Do ye ken what he’s waiting for?” I asked.

“The Duke is going back for the food and supplies, and Violet and the bairns.” He said it very matter of factly.

“The Duke?” I asked.

“Aye, go check on the lass. I would tell ye the story, but it is not all mine to tell. Ye will have to wait.” Murtagh said and I went to check in on Claire.

I went to the bedroom and Dr. Alice was setting up a light to see better. I held Claire’s hand and watched the examination.

Dr. Alice tried to make jokes through the process but I could see some concern.

“Claire, ye are dilated, but not far.” She was prodding her stomach and pushing on it a little. “It does seem like our little one is in the right position, so that’s good news.” She said.

“I would suggest ye keep up what yer doing as long as ye can. Ye may need the rest later.”

Dr. Alice said. Claire thanked her and the doctor left the room and nodded to me to leave with her.

She led me to the kitchen and said, “Jamie, everything is fine right now but Claire’s labor isn’t progressing as I thought it would. This is the third labor she’d been through, right?” Dr. Alice asked.

“Aye, that’s right.” I told her.

“Hmm, it may well be fine and I am just over concerned.” Dr. Alice said.

“Is there anywhere I could rest?” She asked.

“If ye go up the stairs, go to the fourth door on the right. I set up a bed there.” Young Murtagh chimed in and I nodded like this was all to my knowledge.

As soon as Dr. Alice was up the steps and out of sight I took him by the scruff and pulled him into the front room. “What is going on with my wife? What is going on with my family?” I asked.

He looked me straight in the eye and his voice never wavered when he said, “I’ve done all I can to help things turn out better, to help MY family too. I will not tell you the future.” He said and stayed quiet.

I let him go because I needed to get back to Claire.

**---**

_Eight hours later_

They did indeed meet Ian Campbell, the 12th Duke of Argyll in Scotland and the 5th Duke of Argyll for England. He was assisting in repairing helicopters for the Korean war. When Jamie and Claire were in the past young Murtagh and Mrs. Graham had contacted his estate to request a visit to look over archives. 

The visit included Murtagh, young Murtagh, Violet and Faith. They’d been introduced and ended up spending the day with him and found out about his affinity with flying.

That’s why young Murtagh had built the ‘skywatching platform’ as he’d explained it at the time. It was for a helicopter to land. That’s why young Murtagh had ‘accidently’ ordered way too much wood; so the cars could be kept high enough not to flood.

Young Murtagh had a room together upstairs for the doctor and set up a room for the children to play in that might take them away from hearing Claire when she was in her most pain.

Jamie was feeling like he might be touched in the head. An hour ago he’d gone to young Murtagh and apologized. The man had walked away and not said a word. 

Jamie had finally decided that everything else was being handled and he would just be with Claire. Dr. Alice came in about once an hour to check on Claire but she made phone calls and rested and played with the children also.

Jamie woke to Claire shaking him and he wondered how he slept through her getting up. “Jamie, get Dr. Alice” She was saying and Jamie jumped up to get her.

It was time!

**--**

“Mmmm...uuuggghhh.” Claire moaned as she pushed. I took the washcloth and wiped her forehead. Her head was wet with sweat as this had been going on for a long time.

“I need to move” Claire said, once again and again Dr. Alice tried to talk her out of it. I saw young Murtagh with his head in the door nodding at me. 

“We’re moving her.” I said and young Murtagh came in and draped us both with a blue sheet.

“I really don’t advise that. Jamie-” Dr. Alice was saying but I interrupted her.

“Dr. Alice, I have to help her somehow, laying there is not helping.” I said.

Young Murtagh and I got her up and she walked around the room. “Thank you, thank you so much.” My Sassenach kept saying.

“Dinna fash mo cridhe, everything is well.” I would say to her over and over as calmly as possible. 

Young Murtagh tired after carrying her for a while but when we passed the bedroom door he called, “Ready Murtagh?”

“Aye.” I heard Murtagh say. 

Murtagh came in next and took young Murtagh’s place. I couldn’t even thank him but Murtagh gave me a nod and I knew he understood.

Da opened the door draped in one of the blue sheets. “Son, do ye need a rest?” He asked.

A few tears were on my cheeks, I couldn’t help it. I was so proud of our family. “Nay Da, not now. If my lass can do it I can.” I said.

This brought Claire out of her daze. “Go on my love, I would take a break if I could.” She said, and then she laughed. She laughed. She’s been in pain for hours and hours but she laughed. I switched with my Da and went to wash my face.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting next to my bedroom door praying when Claire called out for me. I opened my eyes to see young Murtagh looking at me with sadness. I paused for a second, surprised because I was thinking the bairn was finally coming and seeing his sadness had me unsettled.

“Jamie, your son is finally going to make an appearance.” Claire got out through her pain.

Murtagh and Da were going to put Claire back on the bed but Claire was having none of it.

“No I am a Scot and I will not lay down. I will have these babies standing up.” Claire said with her teeth gritted and my heart in her hands. Dr. Alice agreed, but she wasn’t happy about it.

Murtagh and Da wanted nothing more than to leave the room at this point, But Dr Alice set up the tools on the bed and put Da behind us, “When I point to it, you hand it to me.” She said.

“Jamie, you keep her off the floor.” Dr. Alice said and I briefly wondered if she’d commanded troops before.

Murtagh was on the other side with water and blankets. Both were behind us and couldna see Claire. I was at her back and couldn’t really see her either, but Dr. Alice was in front of her and could see her.

I could feel her, she was still dripping with sweat. I knew she had to be exhausted. It was past the wee hours of the morning and Claire had her pains for three quarters of a day now.

Dr. Alice had her pushing again. This went on for a while. 

“I’ve got a head with curly black hair!” Dr. Alice yelled and Claire started laughing.

The bairn was finally delivered and Dr. Alice handed him into Murtagh’s arms. He helped wipe it clean and handed it to us looking as happy as he did at his wedding. As soon as I saw the baby I understood why it had taken so long; he was big!

I looked up to the door where young Murtagh was peeking in and I saw tears and he moved away from the door.

I was thinking I should be able to put Claire down any second.

“We’re not done yet.” Dr Alice said and looked happy. 

I started praying where I stood. If there was another baby as big as that one, I briefly wondered if I was going to lose Claire. I couldna lose her.

“Claire, are ye alright? Claire?” I said after I felt her go limp.

“She’s just fainted, she’ll come back around.” Dr. Alice said and took another look, waiting for the next child.

“Young Murtagh! Bring water!” I yelled and loud. I heard the font door open and close and I knew I would stab that man.

Murtagh handed me a wet cloth and I wiped Claire’s face off with it. “Claire, Sassenach, we need ye to wake up now!” My voice had gotten louder but I felt her jump.

“Don’t you yell at me!” She said indignantly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I said and kissed anywhere I could kiss. 

“Jamie, I’ve got to sleep, I’ve got to lay down.” She said and my soul was screaming.

“Sassenach, ye’ve got another bairn to get out, then I promise to let ye rest until next week.” I said, trying not to cry myself.

“No, I have to rest.” She said and was starting to shake.

“Maybe we should think about…” Dr. Alice was saying but I didn’t hear it. I was scared.

Murtagh nudged me and squared up his shoulders, made a fist and looked at Claire. He was right, hadn’t she declared herself a scot only a few hours ago?

I cleared my voice so it would be strong. “Sassenach, ye were right, ye are a scot, and we don’t give up do we?” I said and paused.

“No, we don’t.” She said and laughed a little.

“Even when our odds are so bad it’s plain stupid, right?” I said and squeezed her shoulder.

“Bloody stupid lot we can be” She said and laughed and groaned at the same time. “I’m pushing.” She warned, and she did.

Murtagh was holding the second bairn when I scooped up my wife and lay her in bed. “Am I a real Scot?” She asked half asleep.

“A’nighean, ye are a Scot, as much as I am.” Da said, exaggerating his R’s and kissed her cheek.

Murtagh kissed her cheek also and told her he was proud of her. I looked at the bairns and the second one was much smaller than the first. I had the first born and held it to Claire’s breast and it suckled immediatly. 

Da and Murtagh left the room and told me they would bring me a whiskey. 

“Jamie, wake up Claire and have the bairns suckle.” Dr. Alice said.

I looked at the most beautiful woman in the world. She was asleep and so were the bairns at her breast. I was temporarily mesmerized.

“Jamie!” Dr. Alice said and I looked at her.

Claire was bleeding. A lot.

“Mo nighean donn, Sassenach.” I said and shook her shoulder. She didn’t wake. “Claire!” I yelled and she groaned.  
  


“Make the bairns suckle Jamie, I’ve got to get the bleeding stopped.” Dr. Alice said, so I woke the bairns and did what Claire taught me with our first set of twins. They were drinking for a few minutes when I looked at Dr. Alice. She seemed a little frantic. She looked at me then looked at her watch.

“Do ye think ye can get yer friend with the helicopter back? She needs the hospital, her womb will not stop bleeding.” Dr. Alice said and I looked at Claire. 

I opened the bedroom door and yelled for young Murtagh. I knew the helicopter that the Duke had been fixing was picked up hours ago, maybe longer as I looked out the window and saw the bright sunshine.

I heard ‘just go now’ coming from somewhere and I was looking around. Master Raymond came out of the library with a blue drape around his middle and no pants. More importantly, I saw the blue stone in his hand. The stone he used for healing.

He came in and right in front of Dr. Alice he lit the blue stone up over Claire’s womb. Dr. Alice tried to get him off but I stepped in and held her back.

“This is my patient, what is he doing? She needs the hospital, she could bleed to death-.” Dr. Alice was saying.

Master Raymond was muttering and I had no idea what was going on. I took Dr. Alice from the room and asked her to sit in the hall. She was truly angry.

Young Murtagh was sitting there with a box on the floor and a bag in his hands. I opened the door to admit him. Dr. Alice was upset but I knew Da and Murtagh would keep her out.

The new bairns were sated from their milk and quietly laying on Claire who was pale and still. Master Raymond was mumbling to himself and there was blue light coming from the stone. Young Murtagh was setting up needles. 

“What are ye doing?” I asked him.

“She needs blood. I’m a match so it’s safe for her.” He said.

I stood back and watched Master Raymond heal her womb. Young Murtagh had put a needle in Claire and in him and I saw the blood start to flow from him into her.

In another minute Claire stopped bleeding and I let out the breath I was holding and thanked God. Raymond covered her parts up and put the stone in his pocket.

“Her womb is healed. Madonna should be fine. I have to get back to the stones but Ahote is staying.” Raymond said and turned to the door.

“Master Raymond,” I said and held both of his hands in mine, “ You saved her, how can I ever thank you?” I choked out.

Raymond looked at young Murtagh and there was something exchanged but I didn’t know what it was. “You will tell him later?” Raymond asked

“Aye.” Young Murtagh said.

Raymond turned back to me, “He will tell you then, when the time is right. Believe him and keep Madonna safe, that’s how you can thank me. Until next time Jamie.” He said and Raymond left. I found out later he did come to the house with pants but they were so wet and dirty young Murtagh made him take them off.

Dr. Alice came back in. “How did ye get the bleeding to stop?” She asked and looked at me.

“I didna do it.” I told her honestly. It was about then she noticed young Murtagh.

“Hey, stop, what are ye doing? How do ye know ye are a match?” She asked.

“We were tested months ago, we are a match. My blood is safe.” He said.

Dr Alice looked at me. “You have an odd family.” She said and washed her hands then went back to work on Claire.

An alarm went off and young Murtagh stopped giving her blood. He seemed a little woozy standing up but I got to the kitchen and Violet said she would feed him.

Dr. Alice came to the front room where I was watching Ahote take Raymond as far as they could get on the raft.

“Who was he? How did he heal Claire?” The doctor asked.

“He is an old friend, I wish I knew how he could heal. He just does.” I told her. I knew she wasn’t exactly happy with the explanation but I had no idea of what else to say.

“It took a full day but yer wife has given you two beautiful sons and she is okay. I don’t know how but she is going to be fine.” Dr Alice said.

“Should we nay have more bairns?” I asked. She didn’t say anything. “It’s alright if that is the answer to keeping her safe.” I said and waited.

“There was nothing that happened that I would say is likely to happen again. I tell many families not to have more children and they almost never listen to me. When yer both are ready Claire can have another child, but for her sake I would hope for a single birth that time and in a hospital, but bairns have a mind of their own.” She said and smiled. I smiled back at her.

“I’m going upstairs to sleep. Everything is cleaned up enough so ye can allow your family in the room to see the children.” Dr. Alice said.

I waited several hours before I let anyone into our room. Claire was exhausted, and rightly should’ve slept for a week.

When I woke her she was frantically looking for the babies. “They’re here, safe.” I said and carried the box young Murtagh had left in the hall. It was plenty big and had blankets in it.

“You were right, bloody man. Another set of twins.” Claire said and smiled at me. She looked back to the box and I saw tears form on her cheeks.

“He’s so big, and he’s so small.” She said and softly touched their hands.

There was a knock at the door and it was young Murtagh. I let him in but he almost fell when he saw the children in the box.

“Ye dinna mind do ye? The wee beds are likely washed miles away because they were in the barn. What was the box for?” I asked.

He took a step towards the box and looked at the bairns. Then he sighed and looked at both of us. “This is what I know. In my time, ye gave birth to one live bairn and one underdeveloped bairn who’d died months ago. Jamie had wrapped ye up and ran while carrying ye five miles to meet Murtagh in the car where ye both were soaked through with mud and blood.” Young Murtagh had tears streaming down his face. I was so surprised at what he was saying I thought I wasna hearing him right. 

He took a big breath and finished the story, “Ye got to the hospital barely alive. The doctors did a hysterectomy and ye had to get blood transfusions for days.” He said and paused again.

“Young Murtagh-” I started to say but I was cut off. He looked back to Claire.

“That’s not all. Ye got an infection, and it was very hard for you.” He said and looked in the distance. 

I brought a chair in and pushed young Murtagh into the chair. Ahote was standing at the door and he took up the story.

“Young Murtagh had thought to come to the past, save Alex and save you from the infection. We had no idea how to save the babe, or to stop your womb from bleeding. We didn’t tell Raymond because he is fine with trying to change things on a scale that helps a lot of people, but is against it for personal gain. I only told him about what happened to you today when I was trying to leave to get here and he insisted on coming.” Ahote said.

“If that is how he feels, why has Raymond healed me twice?” Claire asked.

“I don’t know.” Ahote said.

“Alright, I will likely need to hear that over again in a few hours to comprehend it better, but why are ye still looking at yer box?” I asked young Murtagh.

“I made it to put the dead bairn in.” Young Murtagh said softly and Claire quickly picked up both babies.


	44. Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Wonderful Readers!
> 
> I hope everyone is safe and warm!  
> I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> My Disclaimer; Diana Gabaldon owns all rights to these wonderful characters.
> 
> *edited later on 02/20 to correct errors

“I will not stay in this bedroom for another day!” I told the stubborn highlander I married.

“Ye will Sassenach, even if I have ta lock ye in.” Jamie said and I grunted and shook my fist at him.

The week didn’t start like this.

I had given birth to twins on Friday September 15th. It was early in the morning when they were born and after their births I was beyond exhausted. The rest of the day I ate, slept and nursed the babies. That was it. I did find out we lost electricity on Friday, but I didn’t find out until Saturday.

The next day went better because I was able to sit up in bed and we introduced the new babies to our children. Fergus had been wonderful and a real help for Faith, Brianna and Alex. I wouldn’t have thought otherwise but I was still glad he was there for his siblings.

Looking at our six children on our bed really drove home the fact that I now had four children under two years old. I think Murtagh realized I was nervous because he sat Benjamin in my lap to add to the picture. 

“I know I’ve said it before lass, but yer a perfect match to Jamie.” He said and sat in the chair by the door.

“How’s that?” I asked, still wondering what I was thinking getting pregnant when my first set of twins were so young.

“I willna ever forget helping ye walk to get through yer pains, ye barely had the energy to stay awake, let alone walk. When the doctor wanted ye to lay down ye said, ‘No I am a Scot and I will not lay down. I will have these babies standing up’” He said and chuckled a bit. “Lass, I nearly burst with pride. It did nay feel right, being in this room, until that moment. You made it right. I was proud and ye should be too” Murtagh said.

I smiled at him. “Thank you, for all your help.” I said softly and he nodded once to me.

He stood up, “Alright ye ruffians, let’s go get us some lunch!” Murtagh said and got Brianna and Alex off the bed. Fergus helped Faith then they both kissed me on the cheek. Murtagh picked up Ben and he kissed my forehead. It was wonderful, feeling so loved.

Violet brought me dinner that evening and she ate with me. 

“How are you cooking without electricity?” I asked.

“The platform young Murtagh set up across the street, the end part is covered and he built a ‘wood grill’ he calls it.” Violet said and took another bite of chicken.

“That man has been busy.” I said. I would need to go over everything with young Murtagh when I was feeling better.

“Och, aye, he has. He’s the one that cooked the meal. He told me there was no reason for me to get out in the mess.” Violet said.

“Is that right?” I asked, surprised that he could cook alone.

“Aye, he’s a smart lad.” She said and smiled. “The water level is going down but it is slow.”

Jamie crawled into bed with me early that night and told me his Father was sleeping in the room with Faith, Brianna and Alex to give Fergus a break. 

“That’s nice of him.” I said, my eyes already closing as Jamie drew me into him, spoon fashion.

“Sassenach?” He said in my ear.

“Mmm-mmm.” I tried the scottish throat sound.

“Claire.” He said and I turned my head to look at him.

“Thank ye, ye gave me two more children, and I will never be able to thank ye enough. Yer a strong woman, and I am blessed to have ye by my side.” He said and I felt him smell my hair. I went to sleep for about an hour, then it was feeding time again.

Jamie got up with me every time, as he did with Brianna and Alex when he was with me. It was nice because I didn’t even have to get out of bed.

We talked about names that night but didn’t come to any agreement. We both agreed on an Ian or another Jamie for our larger baby but we had mixed feelings about it because there already was a wee Jamie. It felt right that we should have an Ian. So our big baby was Ian but we were still working on his middle name, or names. Our smaller baby was a bit of a mystery to us still.

The next day was Sunday and the sun came out and turned on high. Brian and Jamie went to care for the livestock. Murtagh and Violet took the oldest five children over to the platform to play in the sun a bit.

Young Murtagh brought lunch for me and a sandwich for himself.

“Please pull the chair closer, we need to talk.” I said and he nodded and pulled the chair into the room.

“How have you been holding all these secrets inside you?” I said and softly as I could and he cried. Giant, coughing snotty tears and I tried to get off the bed to hug him but Jamie was at the window.

“Sassenach, ye agreed to stay in bed! I’ll be in, just wait a few minutes if ye need the privy.” He said and waited until I got back in bed.

“Blasted Scot, hug me!” I said and young Murtagh got some tissue then sat on the bed and hugged me. 

He laughed, “Jamie never changes ye know. He will always be like that with ye.” 

“Good.” I said. “Talk to me, how did this happen? How did you keep these secrets?” I asked.

Young Murtagh started from the beginning and told me more details then he had in months. I guess since the big event that was supposed to change everything was avoided so he felt more free.

Faith, his mother I had to keep reminding myself, and his two uncles and Aunt Brianna told him that this was when I changed. I did see how he was careful to not give me his new Uncle’s name.

Fergus told him he remembered Jamie running through the water carrying me and we were both soaked with blood and mud. He told young Jamie he thought I left a part of myself at the hospital that day and, even only in a literal sense, that would’ve been correct.

“So the surgery and losing another child turned me distant, not adventure?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Yes,” young Murtagh said and looked sheepish. “I had to tell ye something yer like a dog with a bone.” He said and nudged my foot. 

“You did the most miraculous thing a person could do for their family, I’m so sorry I’m cold hearted in the future.” I said to him and took his hand.

“It’s nay that ye are cold hearted or even distant, but it’s like a spark is gone and ye haven’t fire left in ye. Seeing ye here, in this time, ye are an incredible woman and I hope ye stay this way. I want our family to have ye to look up to” He told me and hugged me again. 

We finished our lunch and he told me stories about erecting the platform across the street. It sounded like building with his namesake was an eye opener.

He told me small things about the children. Briana will build magnificent things. Faith will surprise us. He told me Jamie and I were to go to England in about a year and a half and find a traveling stone that broke. He told me I will get there a few hours before Raymond and when I refuse to give up the pieces he lets me keep them and they become our families own system. He pulled his out and showed me; it was painted and there were two tiny handprints on it.

“If you can tell me this, why didn’t you tell me about the babies?” I asked.

“Everything our family learns about time travel said that I couldn’t tell. We researched for months, for MONTHS, to have a plan. I did what I thought was right, and surprisingly it turned out better than I could’ve hoped. If ye dinna get the stone it only impacts how the family can talk, it’s not nearly as big a deal. ” Young Murtagh said and sat back.

“Who’s we?” I asked, thinking he was comfortable enough he might tell me.

“Wouldn’t ye like to know?” He said and smiled.

“Do ye know how the bairn lived instead of died?” Jamie asked from the doorway and startled both of us.

“I don’t, but Ahote’s theory is that ye healed the babe from inside. In my timeline ye heal so much later in life, so that wouldn’t have been an option.” Young Murtagh said. 

“I am so grateful you were here. Is there anything we can do, or help you with?” I asked, getting tired.

“Yer my family, ye do what ye can for family.” He said and kissed my forehead.

***--***

Monday the water level dropped considerably. When they, because I never went, went outside the water was still over a foot high but the raft became unusable. I tried to stay in bed as much as Jamie wanted because I knew he was nervous, but it was impossible. He got worked up when I left to shower, but was still good natured about it.

On Tuesday, I woke early with our new son’s who woke up with the sun. On Tuesday, I woke early with our new son’s who woke up with the sun. Ahote was awake in the front room and he helped me bring the children in so I could sit with him. Ahote always had an interesting approach to issues.

“Do ye have names for them yet?” He asked.

“Well, for our big boy here, we are thinking Ian Coinneach (pronounced CON-ak), and he will be christened Ian Coinneach Gilchrist and with all the gaelic in that name I’m sure you know who came up with it.” I said and kissed Ian's forehead.

“This little man is still a mystery to me,” I said a s I pulled our smaller infant to me, “This guy feels different.” I said as I stroked his head. “If you look at the ends of his eyelashes and his hair he has white tips, he’s a child who was written to…” I thought  _ die _ , but I still couldn’t say it. “He feels… almost sacred, which I know sounds silly.” I said.

“Absolutely not silly.” Ahote said and leaned over to study the baby in question. “I see what you mean, he is ashkii dighin, a sacred child.” Ahote said and we both continued to stare at the littlest miracle.

I took a breath, “William Finlay Ashkii Dighin.” I said and looked at my son.

“That’s beautiful, are you sure it’s not too much to put on a child?” Ahote asked.

“James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.” I simply said.

“Touche’, good reference” Ahote said.

Our morning continued in this manner until Jamie woke and yelled loud enough to wake the house. He grew frantic because I wasn’t in the bedroom.

I had gone back to our room quietly and waited. Young Murtagh had told me the water would be low enough for the cars to pass safely tomorrow and I would get a ride to the doctor's office. Dr. Alice had waded out several days ago because she was worried about other patients.

I told Jamie I intended to go to the doctor today to have our new boys weighed and to be seen myself and he told me no.

No explanation, just no. Then he turned and went to the bedroom door.

“I will not stay in this bedroom for another day!” I told the stubborn highlander I married.

“Ye will Sassenach, even if I have ta lock ye in.” Jamie said and I grunted and shook my fist at him.

He closed the door and left. I heard some scraping and I ran to the door. The bastard had wedged something under the door to keep it closed.

We’ll see about this.

I fed Ian and William(who I was already calling Ash from his middle name), then washed myself and them and got dressed to go. 

I heard Jamie outside going to the barn, then Murtagh let me out of the bedroom.

“Thank you, I was expecting young Murtagh.” I said.

“Aye, well, I was worrit the young Murtagh would nay survive the thrashing.” He said and I thanked him for his help.

Violet drove her car right to the front door and Murtagh helped me get the children in. I also took Brianna and Alex because they were due for a booster shot.

I hugged Faith and Fergus and told them we’d be back soon and we left. As Violet made it to the road I saw Jamie running to the house yelling.

I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to lock me in the bedroom because I wanted to see the doctor. I had left him a note:

_Dearest Husband,_

_I love you with all my heart, but if you ever lock me in a room without an immediate threat to my person as the reason I will do things I can only imagine right now._

_I am going to the doctor and taking both sets of twins with me as Ian and Ash need to be checked, and Brianna and Alex need a shot._

_Please don’t be mad at anyone who helped me as I am the one who did the convincing._

_I will be home with plenty of time to fight later today._

_I love you,_

_Claire_

“How angry do ye think he will be?” Violet asked me from the drivers side.

“Very.” I said then elaborated, “I told him I was going last night, and he told me I wasn’t leaving the house.” I said and looked out the window. “I have a few questions for the doctor to see if something’s normal.” I said, expressing my concern.

“I think we should try to get away from the word ‘normal’ dear.” Violet said. I laughed, I couldn’t help it. She had a point!

When we got to Dr. Alice’s she was waiting for us. “It’s odd seeing you in an office now, I got so used to your traveling van.” I said and gave the woman a light hug.

“Me too, but there is some water damage that I will need to get repaired before I can get back to the road. Let’s get the children and you weighed and measured.” She said.

Brianna and Alex were doing fine, both very tall and a little chunky. Ian was seven and a half pounds while Ash was barely six. I knew twin babies were usually smaller but Ian had looked so big I would’ve guessed nine pounds. Ian was longer than Ash too.

When Dr. Alice was checking Ash’s heart rate, it took longer than when she checked Ian and I got a little concerned. “What is it? May I hear?” I asked and she wiped her stethoscope and handed it to me with a smile on her face.

I listened with growing concern. Then I realized what I was hearing. “He’s hungry.” I said and almost laughed. “Why isn’t he fussing?” I asked.

“Maybe we are giving him enough entertainment he is willing to overlook it for the second, but go ahead I will get back to him.” Dr. Alice said and I took him to sit with me and started to feed him.

Brianna and Alex got their shots, then Violet took them across the street for ice cream. I was still feeding Ian but Ash was in the pram asleep.

“How are you doing?” Dr. Alice said, looking at me from her desk.

I didn’t get a chance to tell her. There was a commotion in the front office area and Doctor Alice went to check it out. Five seconds later an unkempt Jamie opened the door.

“Thank God, Sassenach, where are Alex and Brianna?” He asked then promptly turned and yelled for them.

“Jamie, Jamie!” I said and he paused to look at me. “They are with Violet at the ice cream parlor across the street.” I said and saw him take a deep breath. “Sit.” I said and pushed him into a seat.

“You have got to tell me what is going on!” I said and sat in the seat next to him and took his hand. As much as I wanted to yell at him for being ridiculous his fear seemed real.

“I canna have ye going off like this and separating, there are seven of ye in my care and ye-”Jamie was saying and I interrupted him.

“Wait, Jamie, you can’t lump me together with the children, I’m an adult.” I said and he looked at me like I was the one being silly.

“Claire, yer my wife, yer my responsibility; yer safety, yer happiness, yer needs, they are all my responsibility. Now add six bairns, ye canna run off like this.” He said, still acting like I was the crazy one.

I took both his hands, “We are going to put a pin right here and talk about this at home. Is that alright?” I asked.

“Aye, let’s go home.” He said and started to get my things to leave.

“I will leave after the babies and myself are checked out by the doctor. Not before. You can sit here if you stay quiet.” I told him. I would normally never talk to my husband this way but I really felt like he was being unreasonable.

We finished the appointment and I met Violet at the ice cream shop and got a cone. Jamie impatiently tapped his leg.

We got home and I got both sets of twins down for a nap. Faith was at preschool and Fergus had a friend over in the library. Brian was in the barn with the horses.

Jamie and I went to the bedroom and I tried to get to the bottom of this.

“Jamie, what is going on?” I said and I sat in the chair by the door.

He was standing by the window and looking out. He was silent for a minute and I wondered if he was going to answer me.

“I have sworn to protect ye, and I have six bairns-” He was saying but I cut him off.

“Five Jamie, Fergus isn’t a man but he isn’t a baby.” I said.

“Aye, ye’re right, I was counting Ben.” He said and finally turned around to look at me.

“I don’t understand.” I said and he sat on the other chair.

“Our family is so big, in my care are six children, you, my Father, Ben if anything happens to Murtagh. I think if we were in my own time I could do better but here I feel like I canna protect you.” Jamie said and took my hands in his, “Claire, ye labored for almost a day and I failed ye. I almost lost ye.” He said and pulled me into his lap.

“Jamie,” I said while holding him, trying to stop his shaking, “You didn’t fail me.” I told him.

“I did. I should’ve gotten ye to Inverness when the waters started to rise. In my time ye dinna abandon yer home so I stayed. In this time the house would’ve been fine but my wife almost died.” He said and was crying.

I got off his lap and kneeled in front of him. “Jamie, look at me.” I said and held his hands to pull them away from his face. His eyes were so bright and I waited for him to calm down. 

“We are going to make mistakes but this wasn’t on you. I thought about asking you to go to Inverness but I had no idea where all of us could go. I should’ve talked to you but I wasn’t due for another couple weeks so I thought it would be fine. This is not your fault, if it is anyone’s fault it is mine.” I said and he turned his head a bit.

“Ye thought about going into Inverness and what… staying at an Inn? Why didn’t ye say something? If ye’d told me your reason I would’ve gone! Ye’d been so close to the hospital if anything went wrong. I just didn’t think of it.” He said. “Why are ye keeping yer fears inside Sassenach? There’s the two of us now, remember? We fight them together.” He said and he pulled me to stand and held me to him. I held tight.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was being ridiculous. Plus we have the livestock to take care of, we couldn’t just leave them to fend for themselves.” I said, trying to justify not telling him.

“Anything I couldna brought with us I could’ve taken to the bed and breakfast. They didna have a moat around the house ye ken.” Jamie said and smiled.

“You know, being in a hospital would’ve still meant a surgery for me. Raymond wouldn’t have been able to save my womb in a hospital.” I said wondering if that was the reason young Murtagh didn’t try to get us closer to the hospital. I looked at Jamie and he was looking at me smiling.

“Do you feel better?” I asked him, not understanding how he would feel better.

“Och, aye, I do. We have to talk more Sassenach, I ken we are busy but this is what was wrong! I canna do it alone and neither can ye, but when we are together we are better.” He said with confidence and love shining through his eyes.

I felt like such a fraud. I didn’t have that confidence.

“What?” Jamie said and took my hand.

“We have four children under two years old Jamie, how the hell are we going to do this?” I asked and he smiled at me.

“We are going to make plans for the future, but live as it comes. We have help Sassenach, we will enjoy it, that’s how we will do it. Bairns grow, they willna always be this young.” He said and held me. I felt better knowing Jamie understood my fears and I understood his.

“No more locking me in a room?” I asked.

“Nay, I willna do that again. I will have to think of something that might work.” He said and pulled me to him again and held me and laughed.


	45. A journal entry from Claire and Jamie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dear Readers,
> 
> I hope everyone is safe and warm!
> 
> This chapter is a little different, no, not the conversation again! This is written as if it were a journal entry; one from each of our main characters. I probably won't write a chapter like this again, but I like to try things. I hope you like it.

From Claire

Jamie and I take time every day to talk. As busy as he is with our farming endeavors and the livestock and the bed and breakfast work and the sword fighting lessons he still makes time for me. I have at least an hour a day of his time and usually more. We walk together most evenings, even when it is cold we walk to the barn and talk about things. The lack of sex is wearing us both down a bit. I pleasure him in other ways but we will both be happier when I am ready to get back to normal.

Jamie is harvesting my garden for me. We’d planted quite a bit this year, but I have my own little garden of medicinal supplies and Jamie is taking care of it personally for me. I was itching to do it myself but he was still nervous about my health so I am trying to take it easy. He is following my instructions very well so I have no reason to go against his wishes and I don’t want to increase his anxiety again.

We’d talked about more children and we both agreed not right now. I plan to speak with Dr. Alice about finding a way to ensure I don’t get pregnant but I need a way that doesn’t affect my breast milk. I really hope the answer won't be -nothing. I was beyond glad we agreed about this, but I have to admit I am thinking about a little girl. We had four boys and only two girls! Then I think about how many children I already have and I can easily put this on the back burner.

Ian and Ash turned a month old and they are doing fine. Ash is growing well and will catch up to his brother in no time. Jamie had decided the ‘lads needed some air’ so he and Brian frequently take them outside. I think he does this just to give me a break.

I am working with Brianna and Alex to be sure they are toilet trained and behaving properly so when they turn two next month they can enroll in the same preschool Faith is attending. I am looking in a catalogue to order some clothes for them that have no buttons or zippers so they could start dressing themselves. They are sitting next to me playing with blocks and my role is that of the ‘sharing police’. Sharing is next to impossible with almost two year olds.

Faith is doing very well. She turned four in May when Jamie and I were in the past and while I hated to miss her first real birthday I was also glad. I knew Murtagh and Violet had a cake and got her a gift and made it a nice day for her. On that day I was deep in memory of how I’d lost her. How could I celebrate a child’s birthday when all I could think about was how she’d been born dead to me? I need to think more about this.

Fergus and Faith are somehow very close even though they are apart in age. Fergus turned fourteen; even though we don’t know his real birthday we celebrate the day he came to our house to help Jamie. Since Fergus is very studious and academically minded Faith picked up his habits. In preschool, and with help from her brother, she learned to read. 

Fergus was back in school but he makes time to help her read a few pages every day. She is currently sitting on the floor in the front room reading ‘Stuart Little’ and I hope Jamie will come home soon. He went into Inverness to get groceries and was picking up our book order which included a map. Faith has a difficult time with understanding different cities on different continents and if she asks me to explain where New York City is again I think I might have to bite my finger or yell. I will have to look for a book with characters only from Scotland or England in the future. I’m not going to do that, but I will keep a map handy.

Fergus stays after school now because he is on a football team. Jamie is picking him up on the way home and we are all happy he found something to do with his friends. I worry for his safety but he relishes being on the field. It’s like it brings out a feral side to him we didn’t know existed, and Fergus loves it.

Murtagh and Violet are busy and seem to be doing very well. They smile at each other a lot and every now and again I catch Murtagh touching Violet’s bum and she will laugh and blush. They always sit next to each for meals and hold hands under the table when they finish eating. They spent a night at the bed and breakfast recently. I didn’t mind caring for Ben; he is a happy baby.

Flora was in the kitchen cooking dinner and I was hungry. Lily was doing laundry.

This is life. It isn’t exciting but I love it. Especially the evenings when everyone sits in the front room and we listen to the radio or dance to music or play with the children all evening. Sometimes Murtagh and Jamie act out stories from their times together and get so animated the children hang on every word; even Ash and Ian. Young Murtagh tells stories from books he’s read or stories he told his children. Sometimes we sit outside and talk while the children catch fireflies or play hide and seek. Fergus taught us a kick the can game he plays with his mates and we play that often. Roger started spending Friday nights with us because the lad likes Fergus. I think maybe he was a bit lonely for other people. At the manse and it was near to impossible to be alone long at Lallybroch. Not that I don’t understand the difference between alone and lonely.

I worry that Brian is lonely. I make sure he knows I need and want his help and advice in anything that seems reasonable. He seemed happy and Jamie told me he was fine; this was how his Father was without his Mother. Brian obviously enjoys working with the horses with Jamie at home or at the bed and breakfast. He is always ready to leave half an hour early.

I still go on walks in the mornings with young Murtagh, I just don’t go as far. I walk five or ten minutes with him then turn around and come back. 

This was life. Calm and slow and filled with love. Jamie seems happy. I asked him last night if the lack of sex was very difficult and he said, “Sassenach, I love to be with ye, I willna rush yer healing.” Then he pulled me to lay against him and we fell asleep. I love that man to a level I never knew possible.

Jamie and Fergus are home! And Jamie should have the map!

***--***

From Jamie

Entry for Thursday 19 October 1950

Claire is still healthy. She has lost some weight after having the two new bairns but not too much. I hope she stays the way she is now because her arse is nice and plump. Her breasts are on loan to the bairns but they are nice and big too.

I try to work as hard as I can during the day so I willna rise to her at night but I want to bury my cock in my Sassenach so much it is like a physical ache to not be able to do so.. She shouldna but I think she feels guilty that we canna lie together as man and wife right now but she just gave me two bairns and is recovering. It will only be another week or so as long as I can keep her content and not too active. It is hard enough to keep her in the house right now.

It is harvest and we have been blessed. Claire and Violet were canning all last weekend. Claire looked so beautiful sitting in the chair at the table cutting vegetables. She would lean over the bins and I could see her arse so clearly from the library where I had the children. I had to sit down with a blanket because my cock was hard thinking about having her 

  
  


And then Jamie ripped out the entry in the journal and threw the paper in the fire. He gave up on the idea to write a journal until Claire was cleared by Dr. Alice.


End file.
